College Professors Share Their Funniest 'I Don't Know How You Made It Out Of High School' Experiences
Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.
On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.
But there are some pitfalls to the great college push. I barely need to mention the student loan debt crisis.
However, there's another concerning dynamic. Students are herded through the high school-to-college track so automatically that actually educating can take a backseat to logistical considerations.
So when that young adult lands in a college classroom, they're liable to be hopelessly unprepared for the education they're paying for.
Some Redditors shared examples.
redmambo_no6 asked, "College professors of Reddit, what's your 'I'm surprised you made it out of high school' story?"
Many people simply never learned how to effectively convey their thoughts through writing.
Research methods and essay writing are apparently common areas where college students show some serious gaps in knowledge and preparedness.
Dates on Dates on Dates
"As a college freshman, I took Advanced English with a student who didn't know how to write a research paper or even possibly read (I don't know). When I realized she didn't know how to research, I gave her my sources and showed her how to navigate them."
"The next class when we were supposed to edit each other's rough drafts. I handed her my paper to edit, she gave it back to me after 10 seconds without reading it and said it was good."
"She then handed me her 'paper' and it was just a list of random dates."
The Wrong Paper to Butcher
"In grad school we had to do weekly presentations on individual scientific studies within the focus of our thesis and this one girl was completely bombing on a study about biomechanics."
"The professor gently tried to guide her to a different conclusion and she began to argue with him."
"That's when the professor asked her to read out loud the authors of the study and, of course, he was the lead author. She unknowingly chose to butcher a study that her own professor authored..."
-- cjdking
The Be All End All
"Not a college professor, but I worked in my university's writing center for a while."
"I had a girl come in with a research paper bibliography that listed 'my mom' as a source several times."
"When I pressed, she told me her mom looked up everything and sent it to her and she just...put it in the paper. She told me she had always done it that way."
-- SalemScout
Sloppy Writing, Everywhere You Look
"I worked at my university writing center and saw a lot of really terrible writing. SO MANY poorly written essays. I really don't know how you can graduate from high school without at least being able to perform simple tasks like 'Point to your thesis statement.' "
"The whole point of a writing center was to teach students to correct their own work, but there was a direct correlation between how awful a paper was and how likely the student was to throw it at you and say 'I'm going to go have lunch. Will you have it fixed in an hour?' then try to leave."
"The tutors all got really good at an authoritative, 'Stop right there! Sit down. Now let's talk about how YOU are going to improve YOUR paper.' "
"The most frustrating papers were the science majors. I could never tell if the paper was terrible or I just wasn't following the details of their experiment on chlorinated aliphatic hydrocarbons or whatever."
"The absolute worst was the ENGLISH MASTERS DEGREE STUDENT who came in several times with absolute gibberish. To be fair, English was his second language but... are you absolutely sure you do not want to consider a career change, my good sir?"
-- hananobira
Other students showed a complete lack of historical knowledge.
Of course, not everyone is a history buff. Not everyone will know about the finer details of an obscure era, region, or event.
But goodness, some of the obvious ones should be clear to most.
Gorillas at War
"Not me, but a friend who taught in the politics department received a paper about 'gorilla' warfare in South America."
"It was so poorly written she couldn't tell if it was a typo, or if they genuinely thought Colombia had been overrun by a Planet of the Apes style revolution."
A Very Old Country
"My graduate school classmate wrote 'America is a country that has been around for thousands of years.' "
"It was a group paper on social policy."
Wrong Guy
"I once got an exam essay that mentioned how much Mandela hated the Jews. After scratching my head for a bit and wondering if I'd missed some obvious signs of his anti-Semitism I realized she meant Mengele."
"As in Josef Mengele, the Nazi 'Angel of Death.' Hard to think of a worse person she could've confused him for."
Time Scales
"Not a professor but in undergrad I was taking an American history course. Our professor was from Maryland and was probably in her early forties."
"This kid asked her if she was one of the pearl harbor survivors. He couldn't grasp the fact that she was very much not alive at that time and that Pearl Harbor was not a harbor in Maryland."
And last, some college professors were simply shocked by a complete lack of fundamental logical thinking. They couldn't believe people made it so far.
After all, one does need to put two and two together just to navigate basic daily life, right?
Measuring is for Nerds
"For a couple years I taught first-year college students in an ENGINEERING program, the majority of whom didn't know how to do unit conversions."
"Not even, like, inches-to-centimeters. To repeat ... college ... ENGINEERING ..."
-- JSanzi
That's the Whole Thing
"I once spent an hour explaining to college junior that an even number is divisible by 2." -- KingofSheepX
"wh-, what? how? literally the definition of an even number is a number that's evenly divisible by 2. what?" -- TheDonutPug
"Not as big of a deal, but in freshman year, I was the only one out of me and a few friends (including a math major) who knew 0 was even" -- StaleTheBread
Convenient Reasoning
"My first year teaching I had a student who had failed the previous year due to missing too many cooking labs to pass and not handing in half the assignments."
"I had rewritten the curriculum and assignments."
"I noticed that this student hadn't been handing certain things in and had been skipping my lectures, so I decided to have a chat with them."
"They thought their marks for that semester were cumulative with their previous year's mark (with a different curriculum, different assignments, and a different professor) so they just had to make up enough marks to get a passing grade."
"This is a post-grad program. They had a BSc in dietetics."
LISTEN
"Not a professor, but I used to TA for undergrad organic chem lab courses. Had a... challenging student once who was not great at reading directions or thinking critically. We were setting up an experiment that required GENTLE heating of a volatile solvent.""I explicitly told the class, multiple times, 'only turn your hot plates up to 2 when heating, these things get very hot." Maybe 30 minutes later I'm making my rounds through the lab and I pass said guy's fume hood and notice his reaction is smoking.""I look closer and see that all of the liquid in his flask is gone and its just a charred, black smoking mess (which is still heating). I ask, "Student! What's going on with your reaction??? What's the temperature set at?!" "The guy goes, oh, I wasn't sure how hot to heat it, so I just turned the plate all the way up to 10. Is my reaction going to be ok?' No, no man, it's not going to be ok... he literally boiled the thing dry 🙄"Validation
"From a friend who is an economics professor: a week after a midterm, a student came up to my friend and said she took longer on the midterm than expected, didn't have enough money in the meter to cover the additional time, and got a parking ticket as a result."
"She asked my friend who in the department should she submit the ticket to for reimbursement"
All Over the Place
"I had a student who didn't know what the stapler was or how to use it. I accepted his assignment as separate pages."
"Unsurprisingly, his writing was similarly disjointed."
Please DO NOT Eat the DNA
"I was a TA for two years. One of my students (outside of class) explained that she and her whole family truly believes that microwaves mutate the DNA of your food (they don't) and mutated DNA is dangerous to eat (it wouldn't be)."
"I couldn't help myself for calling her out. It was such a strange thing that it didn't even occur to me to be sensitive. I just said she clearly needed to take my biology class again."
-- king063
Keeping It Casual
"I had a student include numerous emojis in a term paper."
"A different student came to my office a week after the final, and asked me why she had failed the course. She hadn't turned in a single assignment, or written the final."
So, yes, it is very possible to find yourself encountering someone with a puzzling lack of knowledge or intelligence throughout daily, adult life.
This list should hammer home just how common that will be.
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It's difficult to stand at the front of a classroom and watch a student fail. Everything in you screams to help them out, to take them under your wing, but odds are you have hundreds of other kids that require assistance, too. You help out as much as possible, since you can't save everyone. Occasionally, you'll come across those students who might be suffering from another problem: getting out of their own way.
Reddit user, Lokael, wanted to know how someone forced you to flunk them when they asked:
Professors of reddit, what are the top reasons you see students fail?
It's Their Version Of A Job
Giphy"They don't treat school like it is a job."
"If you put in a 'committed' 40 hours a week of class, study, and homework, you generally will do just fine."
slotwima
One is Not Inherently Linked To The Other
...Having the mindset that you are there to pass a class, not to truly LEARN information and gain a skill. Once you pass a class, it is assumed you now have full mastery of that material for higher level classes..."
Meeaf
Ahem....STUDY/
"Cramming for exams, or being arrogant about the material and thinking they do not need to study. My biggest pet peeve is having students who are either not trying, or really don't care, or something. The lab exams are "write in the answer", when someone doesn't even fill in enough of the blanks to pass the exam it hurts me. If you are not going to pass the class, just drop it, a Withdrawal on your transcript is a lot better than a 25% grade"
Madscientisteq
Show Up As Much As You Can
"Missing too many classes."
"That's really the only way I'll "fail" a student."
"There are lots of ways to get a C/D though."
"Not turning in assignments or paying attention to directions or doing homework are big."
"Sleeping in class, being on the phone, or generally not participating in class lead to point loss, too."
FarWestEros
Listen When You Can
"Not heeding our advice."
"I always meet with students one-on-one several times a semester to review their work, and I notice if they don't make the little changes that I suggest. I'm not a stickler; I'm just pointing out things that I know bosses and other professors wouldn't like. Most students are like "Oh, yeah, that makes sense," and will make the changes to their work, but some are weirdly stubborn and will revolt against the prompt or the clearly-stated expectations. It's weird."
toss_my_potatoes
Make All The Mistakes If You Can
"They don't learn from their mistakes."
"Mistakes are great learning opportunities. It's so common for students to work out a problem, look up the answer and see that they were wrong, then just correct their answer and move on. You should really stop and take the time to analyze your mistake. Why was your answer wrong? Why was the other answer correct? What mistake in your thought process or understanding of a topic led you to your answer? How do your correct it to arrive at the right answer? Fix those mistakes and misconceptions now so they don't happen again on exams. Also, write down that problem you got wrong so you can try it again on a later day."
"This and approaching a subject like it's something you can summarize as a series of separate facts, statements, formulae, or reactions. There are underlying connections that you miss when you take this view and it can rob you of a deeper understanding of the subject. Try to find those connections between all the new knowledge you are gaining and the knowledge you already have. Ideally your professor is helping to highlight some connections to get you started."
"Learning is a collaborative effort between the instructor and the student. It doesn't work if both are putting forth effort. It's not entirely on the professors to make you succeed."
Breathe_the_Stardust
What You're Learning Can Be Taken So Much Farther
"My father is a professor and according to him, the top reason for failure is not understanding the overall concept enough to apply it to different kinds of situations."
"The students who do poorly only really understand how to solve a particular type of problem, if they understand anything at all. Then when the assessments come around and my dad throws a 'similar concept/different situation" kind of question, they shut down."
DangerousWithForks
Seriously: SHOW ALL YOUR WORK
"Tutored at university. I had a girl who got an 18 on a calc exam come crying to me. I looked over the exam quickly and asked her how she studied. She studied the night before. Her biggest issue was showing 0 work. There were triple chain rule problems that even a genius couldn't do in their head. I was amazed she even got an 18, I felt it was generous."
"Idk where she ended up, it was the only time I saw her. But I hope she figured it out"
WeakPressure1
"Passion is good—but loving something, tending to it, that takes discipline."
"The thread has listed the big ones: external pressures. Lots of our students work 30+ hours/week, are food insecure, have to go to the VA for treatments, or have horrendous family problems that make attendance difficult, not to mention mental issues. Please talk to us when you're having these difficulties, or to the clinic or disability services offices—it is possible to work things out."
"I'll emphasize that if someone told you you're "just not good at school," they were wrong, or trying to cut you down. Students get bullied (sometimes by a professor) into underconfidence, and then undermine themselves, skipping assignments just to prove they can't succeed. Seek out the people who support you and your education."
"Barring that, the biggest problem I encounter is not reading or following directions, especially comments on work. There are clear instructions for every assignment, and following them means at least basic success. The same is true of feedback: your professor is giving you specific instructions (ideally) to follow to improve your grade next time. It's all carrots and sticks, guiding you to practice the skills we want you to learn. Follow the directions, and when it's feedback time, take a deep breath and read the comments."
"Next highest is this logic: "I find it interesting, so I must be good at it." You may be passionate about Japanese cartoons, but if you take Japanese, you need to study and practice things like vocabulary, grammar, and writing. Or you could be really "into history" and know lots of facts—but your History classes are there to help you think historically, to contextualize, argue, analyze, criticize, give you a new approach to the world. Passion is good—but loving something, tending to it, that takes discipline."
Atarut
Why Pay And Not Show Up?
"I dunno. Theres a lot a good psychology professor can bring to the table. You may have learned a goo deal on your own but i really don’t think that discounting an entire class because you learned something on your own is reasonable."
"I took english comprehension honors in high school at one college, and the again at another when i went back. I took away different things each time."
"What you value is up to you but it seems like you are simply against the way current institutions are structured and thats valid. But you can still get a lot of value out of education. Most people look at the time-the degree and how it will land them a job. Not the practical learning, the life experience and social exposure that comes with it."
"I’m in the US and our college edu is fucked but despite that you can get a lot of value out of classes and learning. Past generations have definitely dropped the ball and put undue pressure to go to school for a decent job. They also allowed our edu costs to skyrocket. I think its absoulyely insane for stufents to go to college and not try to get every ounce of information out of it based on price"
UnidentifiedFlop
Something Outside Their Control
"I'm a university tutor. It's very rare that anyone fails because they're not physically capable of passing the subject. It's usually extenuating circumstances - they're skipping class (to take care of a sick relative or work), they're putting things off (because of fear of failure), they're not motivated in multiple aspects of life (because they don't think they're good enough)."
"Very common to see 18 year olds who have moved from the countryside to live alone in the city for the first time, and they feel homesick for their family and friends. I teach at a big, competitive university without much individual support, have had multiple chats after tutorials with kids who start crying because they feel isolated and lost on the huge campus."
manlikerealities
Perfection Is The Enemy Of Done
"Perfectionists with depression/anxiety/lots of other responsibilities."
"It basically means not having the time you need to do the work but also never ever handing in anything that isn't perfect. So it goes in a hideous cycle until I work out what is going on and put them into amended due dates/small steps type things, and emphasise that SOMETHING is better than failing."
"That and remaining enrolled but not taking the damn class."
"(Plagiarism and thinking film theory is a cruising elective for funsies are close second places)"
handsofanautomaton
Don't Lost That Password, Now
"Not. Reading. Their. Emails."
"I work in central admin, and a huge percentage of the fails we see are due to students failing to check their university email account. Frequently, they get to the end of term, then claim no one ever contacted them, so they couldn't possibly pass. We then get sent the massive list of dates and times the increasingly irritated department secretary has contacted them..."
172116
It's Like HW IS Meant To Help You...
"I'm currently an adjunct professor at a community college. I also teach a how to succeed in college class. The school I work for has a ridiculous amount of resources available to students, including free tutoring and writing help. And students don't use them. They don't check email, they don't turn in homework, and they don't ask for help when they need it, or deny needing it when I offer... I just don't get it."
"They have everything to succeed. No one should ever fail- I'm very reasonable with emergencies or other situations if they need extensions with homework. And they just, don't. It's incredibly frustrating to see bright individuals not complete the work they need to pass. Just check your email and do the homework!!!"
brine-22
It's All In Your Head
"They convince themselves they're bad at a subject. Some students understand really well and can even sometimes apply what they've learned for an exercise during the lesson, then the next lesson they've forgotten everything, because they're "bad at it" so "it's normal they can't do it"."
Olde_Sweet_Shoppe
Use Your Phone To Set Reminders
"Lack of time management skills and no desire to think critically about subjects."
svazq003
"This meshed with my experience while a professor, with one difference: Kids nowadays aren't taught to think critically, by and large. They're so conditioned by being taught to the test, and being able to look nearly anything simple up on Google that they rarely have reason to think critically."
"It's so bad that the first semester of freshmen chem where I taught was largely taught to the test (ACS standardized test, in this case). I taught my second semester freshmen chem course in a way that required critical thinking to get an A or a high B, and I didn't curve. Let's just say that the admin didn't like that the average in my class was a C-."
HerrDoktorLaser
It's A Mental Game
"Every single student that fails my class has one or both of this character flaws."
- They blame everyone else: you can see it when you hear them talk. They don't say "I fail" or "I got X grade", they say "HE failed me" or "HE gave me X grade".
- They are so afraid to fail that they barely try. Because they thing that if they don't even try they can always say "if I apply myself I could have done it easily".
You Need More?
•Lack of maturity.
•Lack of any self-study.
•Lack of interest in their chosen subject.
•Lacking the ability to see the long game / plan ahead.
•Merely seeing study as a means to an end (IE getting a well-paid job).
•Inability to think critically.
•Inability to conduct meaningful research.
•Plagiarism.
•General laziness.
monster_breeder
Too Much Self-Medication
"Tenured professor here. Three words:"
"Stop. Smoking. Weed."
"Seriously, stop doing this! Ok, so occasional recreational weed use is ok, but if you're lighting up to avoid worrying about assignments, it means you're avoiding doing the assignments. That means you are an addict. That means you will fail. You may feel great, but you. Will. Fail. Use of cannabis is highly correlated with apathy, and apathy is a degree-killer."
"Don't smoke weed to avoid your responsibilities. It works far too well- soon you will find you no longer have those responsibilities at all."
OphidiaSnaketongue
Start Strong, STAY STRONG
Giphy"Halfhearted attention to class, skipping, getting zeros on assignments, then doing frantic damage control near the end. Nope! Try again next term."
Repent2019
"So if students do the work, show up, pay attention, care about the class, they'll generally do okay?"
Lokael
A huge round of applause to all the educators out there. And please, read your emails students!
Do you have a similar story? Please share it in our comment section below!
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Being a teacher is like being the mayor of a small village. You're in charge of a community of sorts, with its own customs and laws, and are forced to do whatever you can for the betterment of your citizens/students. Sometimes, that means you need to keep secrets for the easement of their minds, otherwise the entire structure could fall apart.
Reddit user, u/design-responsibly, wanted professors to crack open those gossip books and share: