Priceless....
michael jackson popcorn GIFGiphyI worked for a small company, and this resume got passed around. Turns out it was someone I'd worked with at my previous company.
He was claiming to be the lead developer on a project that I wrote from the ground up with one other person (not him).
I told my boss that we should interview this person for entertainment value only, and why. So we did. I left people with the gotcha questions to ask, and he tried to bull his way through each one. I was the last interviewer, and the look on his face when I walked through the door was priceless.
Written by Hand....
I was interviewing internal candidates for a job at our location. The job posting asked for your last review and a letter of interest, basically a cover letter.
We have computers and printers available for any employee to use but one woman in her 40s, pretty intelligent, decided to hand write her letter of interest on a scrap piece of 5"x7" ripped paper. WTF? The kicker was she wrote in the letter something like "I bet nobody else took the time to write a personal hand written letter."
I was interviewing an external kid in his early 20s for an entry level stocking job. I asked one of the stock questions "Give me an example of a time you had a disagreement with a coworker?"
He goes into a story about some trivial argument where he and another coworker ended up getting into a fist fight at an A&W Restaurant. I felt kind of bad that he thought I that was an OK story to tell at a job Interview.
"What is the attitude of a satellite?"
I was the candidate for this one. Due to how the Indian College system works, I was forced to participate in a written test for a company which did aerospace focused software. I was not interested in actually clearing the test. 10 years later, I still remember answering "What is the attitude of a satellite?" With "The satellites attitude i.e. mood describes whether or not it wishes to remain in orbit.
Satellites with a bad attitude are normally scrapped otherwise they may decide to crash out of orbit or get into fights with other satellites".
(I had continued this for a 6-7 line paragraph)
I wonder what the evaluators thought of me....
Crush It.
I had a job posting out and a potential candidate reached out to have a chat about the role (senior management position). I told him my calendar was up to date and to book me.
He booked me for 1pm the following day with his phone number in the "location". At 1:02pm I call his number. He was waiting for his food at a burger place.
So we're chatting, he gets his food and says "I'm going to crush this burger while we talk."
He was shocked when he didn't get a formal interview.
@ "don't be stupid"
sanford smh GIFGiphyNot so much an answer, but I've seen a shocking amount of resumes and applications with really awkward and unprofessional email addresses. Before being a position where I reviewed resumes I never would have thought so many people would provide and email address like "baddest_b*ch420" or sexymama_69" to a potential employer, but a lot of people do.
The Bare Minimum
I wasn't necessarily an employer, but i was a manager of a small restaurant. The owner valued my input but i couldn't hire or fire anyone without his permission.
I had a kid bring in his application, and i guess he was making jokes and forgot to fix it. Under "expected pay" he wrote "minimum crap".
He was hired and he was not a good fit.
Nevermind.
It wasn't really anything on the resume or application. Still very entertaining.
Hiring for a call center position in my Department. Man passes the phone interview (done by the CEO of the company) and was told to come in for the face to face interview with the managers of the department.
He shows up and answers a few questions before asking what job he was applying for at the company. I replied that it was for a call center position and he looked disappointed. He then began asking if there were any other positions open (there were not at the time).
I begin to end the interview and I ask him about his past experience. He says that he was always upper management. Then asks if we were hiring for a CEO position at the company. No Dude... No. You literally talked with our CEO during the phone interview. Position is filled. Thanks. Ended the interview after that part.
It was one of the worst interviews that I have ever been through. He was unbelievably un prepared and applying for an entry level position.
Serving Time.
Not an employer but I worked in HR back in the '70s. One applicant under the question regarding convictions wrote that he'd served 6 years in prison for the murder of his wife's lover. He finished by saying that he and his wife were back together.
You're Released
We were hiring externally for an account manager and that void was highly coveted by many of the supervisors on the account. Hired this one guy and told him he had to go through the agent training and we would see where he is at, but under no circumstance was he to tell anyone what he was hired to do.
First day of training he introduces himself to the whole company as the next account manager, blows off training completely, and bombs the final knowledge test.
He was released.
Just Pray.
I Will Survive Jesus GIF by hoppipGiphyHad someone put down "Jesus" for a reference.
Without a last name and contact details? That's pretty unprofessional.
"Kleptoes"
Had a chef once apply with, "good at helping my coworkers thieve whilst the restaurant is at its busiest."
I'm sure he meant thrive but us chefs aren't to be trusted.
At my old job, I think if someone put that on their resume they'd be hired on the spot. I liked to joke that we probably should've stopped searching for people at Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meetings.
"So.... Rong"
GiphyI was working in retail in high school when someone came and dropped off a paper application. In the section about criminal history they checked yes they had prior convictions. In the space provided to state what the legal issues were they simply wrote "rong place rong time". We kept that application around for a while.
"Touchdown"
I received a resume that was just their high school football accomplishments, no other experience written down. There was even a link to his highlight video. He also included a head shot of him in his football pads. He was 24.
Sports CVs usually include a picture of you like that. As well as teams/competitions you've played in, highlights, your weight, height, etc. That sort of thing.
A sports CV is meant to be a profile for you as an athlete. To send to teams you want to join. Or something your agent sends to teams for transfers.
You don't use a sports CV for a actual job with the public. That makes no sense.
"Clowning"
GiphySaw a resume that, under the education tab, went from "Marine Officer Training School" to simply "Clown School."
Not even the specific one, just "Clown School."
"Listen Y'all..."
Old retail manager used to joke about one candidate he interviewed. A felony charge isn't a deal breaker for them so they ask applicants to be honest about them. "So about that drug charge... I just want y'all to know I wasn't usin' it, I just sold it."
"A Cup of Pee"
Hiring for a convenience store in the US, so we always scraped the bottom of the barrel and hired anyone who showed up to the interview. In this particular region, meth was so rampant that we drug tested potential employees. I did the interview, gave the kid the urinalysis kit to bring to the clinic a block away, called the clinic and said you can expect him shortly to administer the pee test. He never showed at the clinic.
Didn't answer his phone. He came back to the store a week later, proudly holding a cup of urine that he was there to turn in. I asked him politely to please take the cup of pee out of my store and to never return. He looked confused. I then asked him why he didn't go directly to the clinic after the interview. He said he wanted to wait till he could pass the drug test! God bless his simple heart.
"Woah Willie...."
GiphyAn applicant for a job as a paid tenor soloist in performing a series of Bach cantatas was asked:
Please list sacred choral works (including cantatas) for which you have served as tenor soloist.
He responded: "None. But I can sing "Shotgun Willie" in the style of Willie Nelson."
"Hey Vanna"
In the cover letter: "I have a 2011 Toyota Corolla" and "I keep things organized with STICKERS!!!" Caps and multiple exclamations and all.
Different girl ignored the instructions to apply online, showed up in jeans and a baseball cap, asked if we were still hiring and when we said yes, she threw her arms in the air like Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune and shouted, "here I am!" My coworkers said the look on face was priceless.
"Paperwork"
I had someone bring in a resume that was scrawled out on notebook paper ripped from a spiral bound notebook and they didn't even tear off the edge so it was clean!
This was for a high level position. They wore a suit, carried a portfolio (which I assume had a spiral notebook in it) and never offered a word as to why they jotted down a resume in the parking lot.
"Why You Should Hire Me"
GiphyWhenever anyone gets an interview to work in my department, our whole team looks over their resume and can ask the applicant questions. There was a guy who applied for a mid-career position and had a few connections with some higher ups in our company.
So they immediately scheduled an interview for him without actually reviewing his resume. When our team looked at his resume, he had it titled "Why You Should Hire Me" and had a bunch of run-on sentences and misspelled words. Our team was confused and thought he made a mistake. Apparently, he thought he had the job because of his connections, so he didn't take the whole applying process seriously. He didn't get the job.
Fluster....
GiphyJust look frustrated with whatever you're doing.
Squint at your computer screen, shake your head, let out an occasional sigh, have a bunch of papers on your desk you can rifle through periodically.
You don't want to look so frustrated that you might need some help, but if you do this right everybody will think you're already too busy with something to be bothered. J-Dizzle42
Laps.....
I'm a cleaner/janitor in a warehouse complex.
I just grab a broom or a bucket.
Can walk laps of the place for hours without doing anything if I want. Oh, I can clock up those steps believe that.
Wore my girlfriends Fitbit one day... we were curious to see how for I'd go in a day.
10 hour shift I walked over 30 kilometers. 82recluse82
Filing the Brow....
I just read interesting stuff online and if someone walks back or looks at me I furrow my brow and maybe pull on the hair of my beard by my chin. And always have a reason if someone asks what's up - "Oh, I need this file in AI to send over and they only have the JPG..." even if it's a problem you solved earlier, as long as it's real it'll do. Administrative-Koala
View Source....
My coworkers don't really know computers like I do, and since my job is 90% on the computer, I just load up 3 or 4 explorer windows over a random Excel spreadsheet, and stare intently at it. GrilledStuffedDragon
- Right click on random webpage
- "View source"
- Stare intently at JavaScript NebXan
Reviewing.
GiphyReviewing. Going over work you did for the day "just to make sure I did everything right". Vyzantinist
Find the good clean remote restroom and use it.
If you work in a big enough building, you just put something important looking in one hand (papers, a clipboard works perfectly, etc) and scurry intensely from one random place to the next. Make friends in different areas, stop to chat briefly. Find the good clean remote restroom and use it. Grab a cup of coffee. Help somebody else with work that's more interesting than yours, etc. Rinse, repeat.
As long as you're holding something official looking (change it up) and hurrying semi-urgently from place to place you can go like this right up to your yearly review. Hopefully you managed to get some actual amazing stuff done here and there along the way. Congenital0ptimist
Chaos...
This was over thirty years ago, but a coworker and me used to delete one important file from a test UNIX server then see how long it took the other to fix it. That was a great way to learn. PreviousResponse
Netflix uses chaos monkey, it's a script with full super user permissions that can randomly terminate any process on any live server at any time. If their systems can't cope with the damage done, and their tech support can't get it back up fast enough they consider the system to be faulty and in need of improvements.
https://github.com/Netflix/SimianArmy/wiki/Chaos-Monkey Fenrir101
Click Away....
talk to strangers on reddit. WhenAllElseFail
I work on a Mac, with reddit dark mode I just have a corner peeking out behind my main window and if the boss walks in I click away to my work window. We work in a call center, when there's no one calling it gets boring, fast. MarkStonesHair
Ready Player One.
Find something to read that they can't tell isn't work if they don't look close. Like did you know the script of the Truman show is online somewhere? That was a fun day. Jenslosingit
I read Ready Player One like this.
Part of my job was just being up to date on research and best practice. So I'd have a pdf of a work-related journal article up and another pdf of Ready Player One. I only had to tab to the journal once. brad-corp
Shuffle a bit.
GiphyWhen you look annoyed all the time, people think you're busy. BlinkRogue1
I have a co-worker who is always late... when they get into the office they just slam things around and shuffle papers and staple things and slam stapler down onto the desk. I guess they think if they make noise it looks like they came in and jumped right into work and are very busy! mrsh529
Along with the CEO...
The CEO and I entered the building early one morning and found a longtime, well-liked employee lying dead on the locker room floor.
His head was surrounded with blood from where it hit the ceramic tile floor and his face so swollen that we didn't recognize him at first.
The guy apparently suffered a major heart attack and died alone. Back2Bach
Watch your Co-workers...
I actually wrote up a whole encounter with my strange russian coworker the other day, but I can't get to tumblr on my work computer. My weirdest counter with him though was I had to go into the lab during lunch and he was in there:
- with all the lights off
- wearing nothing but an undershirt
- lifting a single weight
- with Let's Grove by Earth, Wind, and Fire at full volume playing from his computer.
Also his desk neighbor has had to make one of his monitors vertical because Igor will change at his desk in the middle of the office. StylishSuidae
There. Will. Be. GOOGLY EYES.
GiphyI work in an office and thought it would be funny to put googly eyes on my coworkers desk one day. Everyone had a good laugh over it and a couple weeks I found googly eyes on all my stuff. It became a game of who could arrange googlys on peoples desk in the most creative/funny manner. It was hilarious.. Then one of the adjacent departments caught wind of the good times we were having and started doing the same. Cue a month later and there are googly eyes EVERYWHERE. It was absurd.
On the drinking fountains, clocks, vending machines, garbage cans, toilets, you name it, there were googly eyes littered all over the damn place. The custodians started complaining that they couldn't keep up with the mess. Visiting customers would look around at the googly spectacle in disbelief of the unprofessionalism. The head managers had to hold team meetings to talk to all the teams about removing all googly eyes and of course since I started it, any time a rogue googly eye popped up months later, I got a stern look from my boss.
The day that I quit there (or get fired, more likely), there will be an unleashing of googly eyes that will be unrivaled. People will be swimming through piles of googly eyes just to get to their completely googly eye covered desks. The vents will be spitting out plastic eyeballs of all shapes and sizes. People will open their lunches they brought from home and gasp in shock as they find nothing but little beady shaky eyes looking up from their tupperware. There. Will. Be. GOOGLY EYES. Jaydeeem89
Those were the days.
This was in the '80s at a bad software company run entirely by men. Wonder of wonders, an extremely competent and popular woman programmer was appointed to a management position in Development.
The younger developers decided to have a parade. She was of Scandinavian descent, so they made for her a horned helmet and sword out of aluminum foil, and made for her a sedan chair out of a wooden chair with a couple of pieces of lumber under the arms for support.
Then they carried her outside on the chair while she waved her "sword," and paraded her around the parking lot at the head of a long column of programmers wearing fish hats and throwing firecrackers. I never understood the fish hats.
Edit: And kazoo music. I forgot that.
Those were the days. Tall_Mickey
Just Snapped....
I work in downtown Toronto. My job requires that I go to those high end consultancy firms every once and awhile. The big names. You'd know them.
One morning I was walking into the building for an all day meeting. Normal fall day. Cold.
The lobby was beautiful as always. Chandelier. Big glass windows. As I headed over the elevators I looked towards a commotion at the door.
A well groomed, middle aged, man was screaming at the top of his lungs by the revolving door. Naked. Totally. Naked. His suit was neatly folded on a bench and he had just lost it.
Apparently he was a partner at this firm and the stress got to him. He just... Snapped.
Edit: a letter. dried_up_waterparks
Hey Homer....
GiphyIt was a really slow day and I kept getting distracted from the Lord of the Rings fanfiction I was reading by the weird squeaky noises I kept hearing behind me. I finally turned around and there was my manager, a 35 year old man, about 3/4 of the way done with making a balloon animal crown for his life-sized Homer Simpson statue. I asked him to make me a doggie when I was done, and he did--a blue one. I kept it until I accidentally popped it, which scared the crap out of one of my other coworkers. ostentia
Just Dance.
I was visiting our warehouse which looked pretty standard as all things go. Tall shelves loaded with pallets, conveyor belts and forklifts going to and fro, burly men and women in high vis attire pottering about.
When all of a sudden a song broke out over the PA system and every single person started dancing. Their expressions didn't change, they didn't stop what they were doing or where they were going, they all just danced as they went about their business.
A few seconds later the music stopped and they resumed normal existence. It was so bizarre. Like they had been brainwashed to respond to the music and didn't recognize their own conditioning.
Turns out that's all part of their ergonomics program. Every so often the music starts up and they're meant to move about as a form of stretching. obscureferences
Look Out Below!
My old office had these giant floor to ceiling windows that would get washed every month or so. One month the window washer was outside the window I faced with a long pole to wash the second story windows. He let it fall away from the building too far and it hit a power line right in front of us. We all thought we had watched him die, but he ended up getting into the ambulance unassisted to go get checked out. taylaj
Don't Shoot!
GiphyCoworker came in and found a chunk of his desk missing. After investigating we found a bullet, and a bullet hole above his desk. I ended up on the roof patching the hole.
No idea who decided to shoot our building in the middle of the night. fievelm
Don't Scream....
I worked in a small office. There was a front lobby area with a conference room off to the side. It was separated by a door from the rest of the office. So I'm sitting at my desk, just working, and I hear screaming from the front lobby area, like straight up someone is being murdered screaming.
Everyone in the office area is freaking out, assuming there was a robbery or something horrible happening in the front. I hear someone shrieking for help, so I'm like okay this is clearly not a dangerous situation, it must be a medical emergency or something like that. I tell one of my coworkers to call 911. I proceed to open the door quietly and walk towards the lobby.
I do not see anyone, even the receptionist, but the screaming is still going on from inside the conference room. I slowly open the door and find about 8 people on top of the table, including the owners of the company and a couple clients. I'm just staring at them, seriously confused about what I just walked into.
I look down and see a tiny little field mouse hopping around in circles around the table. I picked the little guy up and became the hero of the day. 911 dispatched a couple of police officers over a tiny mouse. My raise that year was substantially higher than usual. raven_darkseid
"the manager asked me to rotate the eggs."
GiphyWhile working at a supermarket, I was walking through the dairy department and saw a fellow employee over by the eggs. As I got closer I could see him with a carton open and he seemed to be turning each egg. After doing the whole pack, I asked him what he was doing and he responded, "the manager asked me to rotate the eggs." I facepalmed and explained what they actually meant, to which he replied, "that makes a lot more sense."
For context, in the grocery world, to rotate means to make sure the earliest dates of expiration are towards the front of the shelf. reystreet21
Not with it....
In a creche/daycare. One of the moms dropped off her baby & when handing him to one of the staff she kissed the staff member on the face and said "love you" and went off to work. Phoned a couple hours later to say "I've just realized what I did this morning. I'm so sorry, I was half asleep and I guess I'm so used to handing him to my husband" we had a good laugh. Ajoc27
Mid-Cheat....
I watched the neighbor get caught by her husband mid-cheat. This was the last home hospice job I did. The clients bedroom was at the back of the house and had a large window that faced the front of the neighbors across a dirt road. We were sitting mid morning drinking a cups and watching the birds in the low hedge when we saw a naked man suddenly sprint across the side yard into the old garage followed by the just as naked wife and a few seconds later the husband.
Lot of screaming follows then the naked man took off across the field and disappeared into the orchard. Several minutes pass before we see the wife dash over to her car, still naked, get in and drive off.
My client, who was quite a spitfire of a lady her entire life, turned to me very deadpan and said "I'm glad I lived long enough to see that". We didn't stop laughing the rest of the day. DeadSheepLane
Not a Word.
When I had an internship in an office, the second highest boss opened the door without knocking, stared at us aggressively, walked towards us and offered a box of chocolate marshmallows. Then he went out. He didn't say one word. Early2000sRnB
WELL DAMN!!!!
GiphyOne guy did a spicy wing challenge at lunch. Later that afternoon he was on the floor of his cubicle moaning and crying and saying DAMN so many times (Very loudly) We tried to call an ambulance but he was adamant that he was going to be fine. DeeMountain
in the same hedge......
Worked at big outdoor activities center a few summers, there's lots of behind-the-scenes areas where the public can't see. Saw a new guy (who was definitely some friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend 'favor' hire from someone higher up) not know where the toilets were so just take a poop in a hedge behind scenes. He proceeded to makes really crude moves on all the women and I later found him receiving oral sex from a guy in the same hedge. He was asked to leave. XyloArch
Damn Frog....
One Monday morning, at 8AM, there was a frog in the lobby. Not a small frog either--a big frog. The front doors were still locked and it was Monday morning, so we had no idea how the little guy got into the lobby. He would've had to have hopped all the way from the back of the building to get to the lobby. justalurkerkthxbai
Death's Door.
A coworker (in a cotton mill) had a heart attack and died right there on the floor.
the supervisor roped off the area around him and worked continued.
EMT, Coroner, Police were all doing their job as we worked around them. Wrong_Answer_Willie
Sands of Time....
GiphyI work in a kindergarten for kids with special needs. One kid kept going for a quiet place few times a day, and we figured he just needed some time alone. This was outside in the playground where there was a little treehouse in the back behind some trees. On the third day of this happening I went to see what's up and encourage him to talk about why he needed time alone.
I found him sitting on the ground eating one big spoon full of sand after the other. We're not just talking baby eating sand here - more like a medium sized kid shoveling sand down his stomach like it was his favorite food. So yeah this little boy probably ate A LOT of sand during those three days and probably longer.
He's fine now - 2. Grader now - kicked me in the butt when I saw him in a grocery store a week ago. jac0bk
We See You.
I worked the cameras at a casino and there was a kid (old enough to drink) who was given a free room to stay in because he was about to drive drunk. Instead of taking the room, he checked in, walked out the back exit, ran down a hill, ran full speed along the highway, army crawled his way up to his car, got in, drove off the parking lot, and was pulled over immediately. Benjaminbuttcrack
All work and no play can make any job unbearable.
While working in a grooming salon, we were technically not allowed to be affectionate with the canine clients that came in. The rules never stopped my coworkers and I from cuddling and kissing all of the cute pups though!
Reddit users were honest about times they were less than professional, and had some great answers for u/ineedanswersss15's question...
"What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?"
A wholesome game
"I used to work the night (6.30 till 9.30pm) shift at an adult school while I was at uni. It was mostly just so people could learn basic French, Spanish, art etc. Me and the other guy working there had very little to do other than ensure classes ran smoothly, teachers received and returned registers and the like.
When we got bored of the internet, and it was before smartphones were everywhere, so we started developing increasingly elaborate treasure hunts for the next days staff to uncover. We started building in dead ends where obvious,but wrong, solutions would take you down 3 more clues to be told you'd messed up.
Before I left I got told by my manager that me and my colleague were to be written up for it at the area managers request (they'd turned up mid-hunt one day) but my manager enjoyed them too much so had held off.
We made one last huge hunt on my last night that took them the whole next day to crack."
This superhero wannabe
"I worked at Walmart and it was the most boring experience of my life. One day, they let me be the greeter. You know the guy who greets people who come in. Anyways, the janitor leaves his broom. So I pick it up and start swinging it around pretending I'm Robin. People are just watching me do kicks and fighting the air and then my manager comes and loses her mind on me. That surprisingly was not the day I was fired."
This employee did a lot in two years
"Pretty much the entirety of my 2 year stint on 3rd shift at a convenience store.
- Played homerun derby in-store with a plunger and a tinfoil ball
- Played floor hockey with a pair of brooms and another tinfoil ball
- Had a wrestling match in-store
- Played "Creamer Basketball", which was more of a free-throw contest
- Constantly gave away free food and drinks
- Numerous pranks on the store manager
Despite all of that, I was the store manager's favorite employee."
Close this venue down!
Giphy
"this happened a year ago in the restaurant i was working for.
our boss asked us to cook a good $200 worth of meat and brown sauce in a big pot. When our boss tried to take the pot out of the oven the whole thing fell on the ground (cooked meat and brown sauce everywgere). he then asked us to put water on the meat to "clean it". we kept the meat but made new brown sauce.
the meat was then used for a wedding"
Sorry, Steve
"Stabbed a customer by accident one time.
Went to hand him a cheap snap off razor blade, poked him in the hand, drew blood. Er, sorry about that Steve."
Some last day heroics
"Tackled a thief who stole a couple bottles of vodka. They landed on the ground with the bottles in their shirt and had both smash all over, covering them in vodka. No injuries luckily! It was also my last day there and I was sick of theft, and took my frustration out while I had the chance."
Better than getting angry in front of your boss
"There have been times when I walked into the walk in cooler, pretending to get something or that I was going to get a sip of my drink but really I went in there so I could silently cuss out the boss or give her the finger without her seeing it."
I think this worldwide coffee chain can afford a spoon or two
"I work at a coffeehouse of a worldwide chain and sometimes when I'm done doing the dishes and notice there is one last spoon left but I already started the dishwasher, I just throw it away :T I'm not allowed to wash it from hand and I'm not gonna run another whole machine just for one spoon!"
IT had a "Hissi" fit
"I worked as tech support, we had a lot of downtime between emails and let's just say I was the reason neopets.com got blocked by our IT department"
This on the clock Tolkien fan
"When I worked at Walmart like 15 years ago I managed to read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on the clock. I was kind of proud of that."
I think the pigeon won that battle
"Worked in a burrito store for summer uni funds. Pigeons try steal food leftovers outside, ended up being attacked by one and in panicked response unceremoniously grabbed it and threw it into a nearby table. Customers seemed more confused and amused than anything."
A great job for football fans
"I did a short stint over christmas break at a Macys. If you could somehow wind up in the security room during a football game they would have the game on the radio and the camera in the menswear department zoomed in on the TV there that was showing the game. Was a good time."
The smooching nurse
Giphy
"When I worked at a long term care facility in nursing school I used to kiss my residents goodnight and tell them that I loved them, and meant it. As a nurse in a more acute hospital setting I would never kiss a patient good night, but long term care is a different world."
This person wouldn't let food be wasted
"In high school I was a busboy at Outback Steakhouse. Lunch was around 12:00, school was released at 2:30, track practice was over by 5, work at 6:00-10:30 ish.
As you can imagine I was starving every time I worked. Cleaning up after people who had left food on the table would be torture. Sometimes it would be too much for me and I'd eat someone else's to go box or something.
I remember one night an entire macaroni and cheese was left in the bowl and it looked so good. So I snuck it into the bathroom, as not to be seen, and devoured the entire bowl. I didn't get caught, luckily. It was too real."
That's just nasty
"I took a dump in the toilets, I didn't flush because I wanted my colleagues to smell my poop and blame each other."
Stand up to bullies, even when they're customers
"I worked my second real day at a retail job when I was in my early 20s, was at the cash register one day. Dealt with an irate customer who decided to throw coins at the counter so I had to pick them up off the floor. I asked her to stop, she continued and called me a name at which point I threw all of their merchandise on the ground from the counter, walked out. Never came back, even to pick up what little money I had earned of a paycheck. Just left the awful customer, the counter and the store to handle itself."
They need to install bathrooms ASAP
"I had to piss in a sink because we don't have bathrooms in my building and the nearest one that does is 100 yards away... I work in a clean room so it takes a lot of time to get in and out of my suit properly and by the time I was out I couldn't hold it so I went to the sink in the changing room. I have kidney issues so it always seems like the urgency goes from 0 to 100 real quick.
The building is older than most modern building codes so its grandfathered in and doesn't have to have a toilet. It has been humiliating even though I'm usually the only one around."
Cool contest though
"I (very briefly and with as dry a tongue as I could get) licked one of the rare books from the 1500s or 1600s I was digitizing so I could compete with my boyfriend for that Who's licked the oldest thing game."
I'll imagine workers doing this whenever I watch political events
Giphy
"My boss is a high profile politician. Sometimes when I have to be at events (think bodyguards everywhere, news cameras etc) I'm just standing there on my phone playing Japanese dating simulations.
He doesn't pay me enough to care."
What's the most unprofessional thing you've ever seen? Let us know in the comments below.
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