"What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep?"
Absolutely Nothing About This Makes Any Sense
"When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed."
"It made me feel more comfortable."
"One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn’t supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep."
"He came in to my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it, turned around and left."
"It’s been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly."
"He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened."- YaBoiStego
No Matter When Or Where, It's Never News You Want to Hear
"I heard the news my dad passed away pretending to sleep."
"I was 12 at the time, woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom."
"Headed to the kitchen to get some water after and saw my sister sitting on the couch."
"She asked if I could sleep out in the living room with her and I didn't think anything of it."
"Woke up the next morning and kept my eyes closed, I heard my mom telling my dad's best friend we lost him."
"I won't forget it."- weesstt
"I pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage 3 cancer."
"I was 9."
"He's totally fine now!"
"But it really sucked at the time."- slightlysarcastic75
Even If You Weren't Actually Asleep, Did He Not Worry About Waking Him Up?
"Freshman college roommate watching porn on his laptop wearing headphones, humping his mattress like there’s no tomorrow."- underpar86
Volume Up What GIF by Lillee JeanGiphyWhere On Earth Were The Parents?!?!
"Sleeping over at a friends house when I was 14, all of us on the floor in living room."
"Couldn’t sleep."
"Two of my friends, guy and girl, directly next to me start doing freaky things to each other."
"I was extremely shy and a couple of years younger than them so I stayed quiet and hoped they’d stop."
"Had to listen to them for an hour while she made weird a** moaning squeaky noises and he was singing (in a weird slightly whispery singy voice) matchbox 20 songs to her while he did whatever he was doing."
"That was last time I slept over at a friends house."- ashananon
Medical Miracle?
"That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking."- FeedBean6
What Happens In Vegas...
"My grandparents won $10,000 at the casino, and they told all of their children, and presumably gave them some of that money, except my dad."
"My dad is a d*ck so I didn’t tell him either."- 3-methylbutylacetate
Make It Rain Loop GIF by Chris TimmonsGiphySome Friends They Are...
"My 'friends' talking about going into my wallet later and stealing my money, and then leave before I notice."
"I kicked them out."- bodymeat_112
Caught In The Act
"My mom and I were sharing a hotel room on a trip and unfortunately only had one bed so we had to share that too."
"As I was trying to fall asleep, I kept hearing the text tone from my mom’s phone going off and her giggling."
"My parents hate each other so I knew it wasn’t my dad she was texting with."
"Curious, I opened my eyes just a little bit to see that she was flirting with other men while on a trip with her family and I was in fact staring at a d*ck pic."
"I couldn’t really go back to sleep after that."- MissMetalSix
Setting Such A Good Example...
"My older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in."
"They had sex for about a minute and then I could hear him apologizing for about 20."
"May not be the worst ever, but it's definitely the funniest."- Sigurd93
Are They Really "Mates"?
"Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys."
"I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine."
"I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine."- anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo·
Never A Pleasant Sound
"Probably my dad's dementia screaming."
"Usually nothing is wrong, but he'll wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to yell at God and grind his teeth."
"You never do get used to it."- PossibleStrength·
Seemed To Work Out For The Best?...
"Not me, but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend."
"This was obviously long before we met."- TheDeadGunslinger
Mommie, Dearest...
"My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10-year-old me was asleep."
"Aunt, 'Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute'."
Mom: 'No, he's not very good-looking at all'."- Runs_N_Goses
Even if pretending you're asleep might save you from partaking in something you want to put off for as long as possible, for better or worse, it doesn't save you from hearing everything you are missing.
Which, in certain cases, might mean you have to face the music all over again.
Almost making you wish you were, in fact, asleep and it was all a dream.
One Redditor wanted everyone to share which menu items are not as loved as we have been led to believe.
"What food do you swear people only pretend to like?"
I am very up front about my food dislikes. And I'm always looking to cross things off the list. So give me more...
Woof
Excited Feed Me GIF by Morris the 9Lives CatGiphy"Cat food. I mean come on, my cat can't like eating that every day. I think she's just being polite."
Prophet_of_Duality
Stank
"My mom made stuffed cabbage once. I kinda like stuffed cabbage now but I didn't like cabbage anything as a kid. She left it cooking while we went out somewhere. When we came back the cabbage smell whacked us in the nose and I said I think the dog pooped on the carpet. She believed me for a second before realizing it was cabbage stank."
akatherder
Pooped
"Chitterlings. My mom-in-law made some at my house, and it smelled like a grown man crapped all over my home and walls."
"My family was from plantation fields in the Carolinas. Some still stayed but my grandparents went to NY. Relatives from the south mail buckets of that stuff lmao. I mean good stuff too like cracklins and vegetables as well but man… freakin' buckets of chilttlins so yea if you know you know."
CultofCedar
Not Appealing...
"Hákarl. I can’t imagine someone coming in from a long day of work and tucking into a plate of fishy smelling, ammonia flavored chewy shark chunks that make you smell like a bait camp for the rest of the evening. It seems like survival food - you will stay alive if you eat it, but it’s not appealing… to me. If you’re Icelandic - please help me understand why this is a thing."
kicka**timus
Vile
Vomit Puke GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy"Once upon a time I swore that salted licorice was the most vile thing ever to have graced our fair planet. However about a year ago my wife made me try some and much to my surprise, I liked it!."
octoprickle
Who can even pretend to like these things?
I Don't
Harry Potter Pastel GIF by Pasteleria Cake TownGiphy"Fondant on like wedding cakes."
foullittletemptress
Ongr
"weird eats"
"Lutefisk."
jahshwa314
"Ever since I saw various 'weird eats' shows, I have had trying lutefisk as one of my bucket list items. (Yes, I am weird, I'll admit.) I have a friend from Minnesota who, for some reason, refuses to help me on this item."
egv78
"It's just really bland fish with slightly worse texture than normal. Nothing special about it. It's not gross or funky tasting, just really plain and unexciting."
Sepulchritudinous
Reactions
"There's an emotional reaction to foods (and other sensations) that develops over time. Eventually, it gets to the point that the food--regardless of what's disgusting about it--makes you feel something enjoyable and pleasant."
"If I'd never eaten Bleu Cheese before, I'd be disgusted by it now. But, I unknowingly had some when I was 4 or 5 at a family Christmas party in a cheeseball. When I eat Bleu Cheese these days, it reminds me of warm happy Christmases of decades long ago."
roonerspize
Canned/Uncanned?
"My roomie be eating squid out a can."
_user_name_username
"I like fried calamari the best. Had a can of squid that was ok. Added it to ramen. Tried another can of squid that included the ink. Kind of grossed me out but reminded me of sardines in tomato sauce (The ink was mixed with tomato sauce). Managed to eat it all on some ramen but won't be getting the ink one again."
starthrow817
Entitled
trippy GIF by Pi-SlicesGiphy"Gold leaf -need I say more?"
Satanicjamnik
"It has no real taste- it’s there so that you can feel rich and entitled."
EgoSenatus
Well I'm no longer hungry.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comment below.
