There are few better methods of getting out of doing something than pretending to be asleep.
Needless to say, your friends and loved ones will most likely wake you up in the case of a genuine emergency.
Other times, however, if you're just not quite ready to play with your children, answer a question that can wait, or simply talk to anyone, pretending to be asleep is a fairly surefire way of avoiding all those things.
However, as with any sneaky maneuver, it has some downsides.
Namely, that you might overhear something someone else didn't want you to hear.
But since you were "asleep", they thought they could get away with saying it.
Making the probability of actually falling asleep a very difficult endeavor.
"What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep?"
Absolutely Nothing About This Makes Any Sense
"When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed."
"It made me feel more comfortable."
"One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn’t supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep."
"He came in to my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it, turned around and left."
"It’s been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly."
"He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened."- YaBoiStego
No Matter When Or Where, It's Never News You Want to Hear
"I heard the news my dad passed away pretending to sleep."
"I was 12 at the time, woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom."
"Headed to the kitchen to get some water after and saw my sister sitting on the couch."
"She asked if I could sleep out in the living room with her and I didn't think anything of it."
"Woke up the next morning and kept my eyes closed, I heard my mom telling my dad's best friend we lost him."
"I won't forget it."- weesstt
"I pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage 3 cancer."
"I was 9."
"He's totally fine now!"
"But it really sucked at the time."- slightlysarcastic75
Even If You Weren't Actually Asleep, Did He Not Worry About Waking Him Up?
"Freshman college roommate watching porn on his laptop wearing headphones, humping his mattress like there’s no tomorrow."- underpar86
Where On Earth Were The Parents?!?!
"Sleeping over at a friends house when I was 14, all of us on the floor in living room."
"Couldn’t sleep."
"Two of my friends, guy and girl, directly next to me start doing freaky things to each other."
"I was extremely shy and a couple of years younger than them so I stayed quiet and hoped they’d stop."
"Had to listen to them for an hour while she made weird a** moaning squeaky noises and he was singing (in a weird slightly whispery singy voice) matchbox 20 songs to her while he did whatever he was doing."
"That was last time I slept over at a friends house."- ashananon
Medical Miracle?
"That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking."- FeedBean6
What Happens In Vegas...
"My grandparents won $10,000 at the casino, and they told all of their children, and presumably gave them some of that money, except my dad."
"My dad is a d*ck so I didn’t tell him either."- 3-methylbutylacetate
Some Friends They Are...
"My 'friends' talking about going into my wallet later and stealing my money, and then leave before I notice."
"I kicked them out."- bodymeat_112
Caught In The Act
"My mom and I were sharing a hotel room on a trip and unfortunately only had one bed so we had to share that too."
"As I was trying to fall asleep, I kept hearing the text tone from my mom’s phone going off and her giggling."
"My parents hate each other so I knew it wasn’t my dad she was texting with."
"Curious, I opened my eyes just a little bit to see that she was flirting with other men while on a trip with her family and I was in fact staring at a d*ck pic."
"I couldn’t really go back to sleep after that."- MissMetalSix
Setting Such A Good Example...
"My older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in."
"They had sex for about a minute and then I could hear him apologizing for about 20."
"May not be the worst ever, but it's definitely the funniest."- Sigurd93
Are They Really "Mates"?
"Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys."
"I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine."
"I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine."- anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo·
Never A Pleasant Sound
"Probably my dad's dementia screaming."
"Usually nothing is wrong, but he'll wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to yell at God and grind his teeth."
"You never do get used to it."- PossibleStrength·
Seemed To Work Out For The Best?...
"Not me, but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend."
"This was obviously long before we met."- TheDeadGunslinger
Mommie, Dearest...
"My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10-year-old me was asleep."
"Aunt, 'Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute'."
Mom: 'No, he's not very good-looking at all'."- Runs_N_Goses
Even if pretending you're asleep might save you from partaking in something you want to put off for as long as possible, for better or worse, it doesn't save you from hearing everything you are missing.
Which, in certain cases, might mean you have to face the music all over again.
Almost making you wish you were, in fact, asleep and it was all a dream.
We pretend to enjoy so many things every day.
I think answer number one is... jobs.
So many people put up a facade to get through the harrowing hours ticking away.
That's just a guess though.
Redditor AndyBales wanted to discuss the things people have to be lying about loving, so they asked everyone:
"What are you convinced people are pretending to enjoy?"
I pretend to like politics. It's exhausting.
Shut Up
"Podcasts where the hosts just laugh at everything they/other hosts/guests say. Nothing is that funny for that long, dude."
TheeMost313
It's Addictive
"Having constant drama at work, in friend groups, and elsewhere really can't be all that exciting... can it? If I have one friend causing me too much drama I usually avoid it like it's the plague."
Syrup_Slurper
"Drama is addictive. I used to need constant drama, and it was because my childhood was so chaotic that it literally rewired my brain to be uncomfortable without it. It's an actual illness. I needed years of therapy to become stable, and I'm still not done."
gcitt
Time to Edit
"3 hour long church services. Jesus gave the sermon on the mound in like 5 minutes. Get over your ego pastor!"
Elegant_Development3
"I grew up going to Catholic mass. 30-45 minutes, then it's off to get donuts. The long masses are on holidays, and usually there's fire or baptisms involved, so we're filling that time with something. What do people even do at day long services? Is the pastor really talking the whole time??"
gcitt
"One of my favorite details in the Bible is that at least one of Peter's sermons (Acts 10:44) was cut short by the Holy Spirit showing up while he was still talking, effectively ending the sermon. God apparently had decided that that was enough."
KatanaDelNacht
Fill in the spaces...
"Bars and restaurants with loud music and terrible acoustics. What’s the point in being social in a place where they’re trying to make it hard for you to socialize?"
auximines_minotaur
"Someone explained this once and it made a lot of sense so I'm gonna try, but it'll most likely be shi**y: Loud music fills in awkward silences and covers up social faux paus in an environment where mixing and mingling is encouraged."
"It helps facilitate you hooking up with Jenny because she doesn't realize you're a terrible conversationalist since the music covers it up."
Dangerous--D
Personality Issues
"Maintaining their jobs as YouTube, TikTok, Instagram personalities."
"I briefly had mild success with a channel on YT 10 years ago and it was nowhere near the level things are now. And I see the production value and the regularity of some of the content. And I just think how much pressure these folks feel to feed the machine or perish."
ThingCalledLight
Oh the Internet celebrity types... no thanks.
Those Shows
"American talent shows like quite literally 'America’s got talent,' and 'American Idol.' Who the hell are these shows catered to? The dialogue is cheesy, idiotic, and fake as hell and the structure doesn’t make sense."
"Back then it had categories and the contestants would compete against their own groups which at least made it somewhat interesting. Now? Anything f**king goes, and you could have a wanna-be jabawacky dance group of about 20 people vs little Timmy playing a harmonica with his a**hole. It makes no damn sense."
Chaacho08
Stay Home
"LinkedIn."
mushroomyakuza
"Accurate. It's like an office party you don't want to attend but need to so you can 'network.'"
aldwinligaya
"So many times I've been in my office since coming back from lockdown and I've wanted to say 'look can we cut the office chat and if I ask you how your life is going, that you give me a honest answer?'"
"LinkedIn takes the vacuous nature of being in an office and multiplies it by 10. The virtue signalling people do on there just to feign the value they think they offer to the world is a issue that people have allowed to go on wayyyy too long on social media."
finger_milk
So Fake
"Trying to make everything Instagram ready. I've fallen in that trap before, deleted everything but Reddit."
"I'm much happier now living in the moment, watching my kids play instead of taking photos of them, eating my food instead of standing above it trying to take a picture in a crowded restaurant."
"Once you stop feeding your ego, a lot of worry stops with it."
iupvoteoddnumbers
Not So Live
"Live action remakes."
ttaborek
"The thing that I specifically don’t like is when the 'live action' remake is really a CGI remake, but they won’t just acknowledge that it’s still animation. You want to remake the hand-drawn animated Lion King movie with a computer animated Lion King movie? I don’t care to watch that, but fine, go ahead. But don’t call it 'live action.'"
LaughDull967
"What's not to love of about a movie that's longer, has less expression, changes the original ending and message, features actors that can't really sing, and only exists to remind you of a better film that came out 25 years earlier?"
The_Presitator
I'll Sit
"Anything that requires an insane amount of waiting in line. Amusement parks, brunches at fancy places, night clubs, etc."
"Like, you're engaging in an a barrier to make the 'thing' you want seem worthwhile."
"I dunno, I despise lines."
zomgitsduke
I don't do lines anymore. That is all.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
While Christmas is meant to celebrate the spirit of giving, there's nothing wrong with being excited by the prospect of all the things you're going to get.
After all, it isn't just wide-eyed children who can't wait to unwrap those presents lying under the tree or nestled in the toe of their stockings.
Of course, sometimes what lies beneath the wrapping paper doesn't always fill our hearts with glee.
Worse yet, even if it is indeed something we will never wear or use, we sometimes have to put on a good face, as the person who gave it to us might be sitting right next to us.
Resulting in our desperately searching for words to show our appreciation... as we contemplate what we'll exchange it for on December 26th.
"What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve received that you had to pretend to like?"
It's The Thought That Counts... Or Is It?
"A set of miniature butter knives with ceramic fruit and vegetables as the handles."
"From an aunt who said that I was 'So hard to shop for'."
"I was 7."- wewimev411
At Least It Made For A Good Story
"My wife’s grandmother, who has now passed was a wonderful person who had very little money but a heart of gold."
"However, as in life, her mind wasn’t all there the last few years of her life."
"My family and hers have always gotten together for the holidays and we all enjoy exchanging gifts with one another."
"During our Last Christmas with her she gifted me, then 36 M[ale], a pair of, used, toddler sized Lighting McQueen underwear that had come through her church thrift store because she knew that I love the movie 'Cars'."
"This was probably one of the most awkward, memorable moments for opening a present on Christmas Day."
"My wife’s mother still apologizes to me yearly for not checking in on what her grandmother had bought for us that year."
"It’s a great memory to all of us still together at this time."- Thndrdrag
Cheap At Half The Price...
"My brother, who at the time was 30 and had a good decent job, pulled me out of the hat for our family Kris Kringle."
"The spend was supposed to be €40."
"He turned up with a Wii accessory kit, a GameStop branded one."
"I took it with good grace, even though I didn't actually have a Wii."
"I did have an Xbox 360 though, so I figured I'd bring it back to GameStop and swap it for something."
"So when the guy at the counter scanned it, he said it was actually a free gift that they were giving away with new Wii consoles the PREVIOUS Christmas."
"Miserable b*stard."
"The following Christmas he had me again and turned up with nothing, said he'd forgotten the voucher he had bought me for GameStop, didn't even get that one."- Arkslippy
Misleading Packaging
"When I was three I opened a gift from my grandma and it was one of the big cylinders of Quaker Oats."
"I f*cking loved it."
"But then my grandma, chuckling, told me I should look inside the container."
"Inside was a pair of pajamas."
"I started crying because it wasn’t oatmeal."
"After the initial shock, those pajamas were my favorite pajamas for the next year, so it was a good gift but not at first."- origami_alligator
A Date That Will Live In Infamy...
"A Lamborghini calendar."
"My brother got a guitar and amp."
"My two sisters got a bike each."
"I hate Lamborghinis now."- xixac22666
Not Exactly How Re-Gifting Works...
"Getting a shirt from my sister-in-law that was too big, The same shirt my parents gifted to my husband when they came back from a trip to Europe, said shirt we mysteriously weren't able to find in our closet when my husband wanted to wear it for Halloween."
"In honestly would have been perfectly fine with just a card or nothing at all, I'm not materialistic."- Fine-Mushroom3834
How Do You Really Feel?...
"When I was in grade school I like to wear my fingernails long, but my mom hated it."
"Every single year for Christmas she would give me nail clippers."
"And every single year my sister would give me a diary because the first year they did it I was stupid enough to use it but then my whole family turned out to be reading it."
"So every year after that I opened my new diary and thanked her but never touched it again."- According-Type-9664
Hidden Meaning?
{A How-to-Make-Balloon animals kit while my wife got $100 Amazon card."- JoeSchmoe314159
By Not Splurging On Christmas Presents?
"Eons ago I worked for a company owned by the richest man in Minnesota."
"One year, all of us peons, and there were a couple thousand of us, got a copy of his book."
"It was all about how he became the richest man in Minnesota."
"Cheap bastard."- yolohat266
When opening these most unwanted presents, we usually find ourselves at a loss for words.
The best thing to do in situations like this, is simply tell the truth, by saying:
"I really don't know what to say!"
We all pretended to be sick at least once when we were children to get out of going to school to avoid a test, game, or assembly we'd been dreading.
Some people still might not have given up the habit of feigning illness, as a means of avoiding work or other occasions that they are less than eager to attend.
Sometimes, simply telling people that you're "sick" is all the information you need to share to get out of it.
Whether or not more concrete proof is needed, others might go a step further in faking their ailment, be it a cold or fever, and often pull off fairly convincing performances.
Sometimes even fooling a doctor.
"Doctors of Reddit, what's the biggest case of 'faking it' you've ever seen?"
That's One Large Pain Threshold...
"Taking trauma call during surgery residency, had a prisoner come in after a fight and claimed he couldn’t move or feel his legs."
"All the CT scans and MRIs were normal, but we would shield his legs so he couldn’t see them and poke them with needles and other sharp objects, with enough force to cause pain- he never flinched or moved his legs at all."
"He was diagnosed with SCIWORA, spinal cord injury without radiographic abnormality."
"He stayed in the hospital for a week, no improvement."
"Always had one guard with him."
"One night they were down in the lobby watching some television but the guard needed to use the restroom."
"The patient said, 'where could I possibly go?'"
"I’m paralyzed!'"
"Guard left him alone for two minutes."
"Patient last seen sprinting down the road, naked butt cheeks flapping in the breeze."
"Made it to a city four hours away by car before he was caught again."
"I have never seen anyone fake it so well."
"Truly playing the long con!"- Wine_and_sunshine
You'll Have To Do Better Than That...
"Dermatologist here."
"Patient was convinced she had a melanoma and needed a biopsy and would need to be on workers comp."
"I told her it looked like ink from a marker."
"She demanded a biopsy."
"I wiped the area off with an alcohol swab and showed her the ink and that there was no spot on her skin anymore."
"She stormed out threatening to sue."
"I'm just glad I cured her melanoma."- Richter915
No Complaints Here...
"Had a patient come in for a fall who now couldn’t move their legs at all."
"Did a bunch of tests, didn’t find anything."
"The patient was not at all phased by suddenly being paralyzed which was the first red flag."
"Didn’t really believe anything was wrong but the patient was still not moving their legs."
"My options are to admit for a huge work up or get them to walk."
"So I update them saying everything is fine, tests are negative, you can go home."
"Patient gets up, gets dressed and walks out without a word."- meropenem24
There's Clearly One Issue She Wasn't Faking...
"Not a doctor but worked in health care for nearly 20yrs."
"While taking a break from the ICU, due to it being emotionally draining, I worked in home health for a bit."
"I had a patient who clearly had Munchausen syndrome."
"On a daily basis she would call her insurance to see what things would be covered if she was diagnosed with this or that."
"She called her Doctor's office an average of 5x during my shift with her, she would report all kinds of non real symptoms."
"She pestered the doctors into doing exploitive laparoscopic surgery, of course nothing was found."
"One day I walked in and she was rubbing her incisions with rotten cabbage trying to get it infected."
"She wasn't seeking pain meds, except to sell, really she was just as happy with antibiotics or stool softeners, anything, as long as they wrote her a prescription and she got to go to the pharmacy where she did a whole song and dance for them too, claiming allergies and reactions."
"She always increased the exaggeration of her story too."
"One time she fluttered her eyes, after making sure I was looking, and said she lost consciousness in that half a second."
"She called the doctor and claimed she lost consciousness for 5mins, she called the insurance and claimed it was 10min, she called the pharmacy and claimed it was 30min, then she called 911 and told them she woke up on the floor after losing consciousness for 4hrs."
"The worst thing about her was she was a mom."
"Her son was 28 at the time and by all the stories of his childhood illnesses and all her saying how he is severely disabled I knew she basically f**ked up his childhood with Munchausen by proxy."
"She portrayed him as being severely disabled and that's why he would never find a wife."
"I met him, he was healthy and of average intelligence."
"He wasn't looking for a wife, he was gay, but she refused to accept that."
"Working with her was so miserable that I took a couple years off from any and all healthcare after that."- invisible_for_this
She Only Thought She Was Faking It.
"Young, 18-20, Woman went running into small rural hospital ER pretending to have abdominal pain."
"Police officer had tagged her going 40+km over the limit which was ‘stunt driving’ as per the new law in Ontario, impound and licsence suspension automatic."
"Cop followed her into ER and apparently said he’d be waiting for her when she left."
"Locum staff such as myself were housed at a small B&B about 15 mins away, and the ER had pre-printed order sets to be done before we arrived."
"When I arrived she flat out admitted that she just came in because she freaked out and didn’t stop."
"I told her we’d give her 45 mins to call her parents/family before I booted her."
"Except, bHCG came back positive, and subsequent ultrasound came back showing extremely early ectopic."
"Officer figures out something is up when he hears air ambulance call come in over radio."
"She was completely asymptomatic and just worked out that she dodged both charges and a life-threatening issue by accident."
"It was definitely a WTF moment."
"A little more info, small rural hospitals in Northern Ontario often service areas from more than an hours drive away and still only have a catchment area of 2000-3000 people."
"When on-call it was just that, we would do our days in the community clinic, then maybe hospital rounds, then go home and be on call; we wouldn’t be at the hospital, there wasn’t an on-call room where you would stay for example."
"There were lots of times that you’d go a full night without being woken up, or maybe just a call from the acute care inpatient wing."
"Locums were short term contracts for places that didn’t have full time medical staff for whatever reason."
"It’s hard to attract clinicians if you don’t even have broadband internet in the community."
"They generally pay very well."- Graigori
Lighten Your Load!
"I'm not a Doctor, but I have a hilarious story to tell of my ex faking it."
"So my first abusive ex is a compulsive liar."
"She would lie about ANYTHING, big or small!"
"She lied about a serious spinal medical condition, until I found her medical report that states she does indeed have an infusion of only 2 lower vertebrae."
"But not the condition she claimed to have."
"After I discovered this, she immediately quit her bullsh*t."
"But only for about a year."
"It was a long time ago now, but she basically claimed to have a much more severe condition, involving her WHOLE SPINE."
"She used this to get out of practical lessons in College, but what made me suspicious is the fact that she ALWAYS carried around the HEAVIEST backpack."
"I had to go through her bag to sort out what she needs and doesn't need, just to lighten the load, with consent, of course, and it did stop her complaining about back pains."
"However, after finding the note, she stopped using her back as a way to not do practicals, and she stopped using it as a way to not do any work outside of College."
"It was a miracle!"
"The story with the doctor starts here, though."
"One day, she laid on the couch, way after the spine lie fiasco, complaining that her back hurts and she can't breathe."
"I lifted her backpack, and wouldn't you know it?"
"It was really. F*cking. Heavy."
"We went to College 3 days a week, which she would carry this thing all the way around for the 8 hours each day!"
"But, she also carried it everywhere she went outside of College, meaning work, too."
"I'd carry it at times, cuz I'm not a d*ck, and would prefer to keep her happy and healthy."
"Anyway. I left her bag alone, didn't empty it just in case."
"I left her alone on the couch, cuz I knew she was over-exaggerating."
"Yeah, I know, I was a d*ck."
"Honestly though, after all the abuse, lies, and the many many times she wouldn't accept a breakup, I just kinda gave up caring, but I could always tell when she was lying."
"She's a terrible liar."
"Later, my mother decides we're taking her to the hospital."
"Apparently she wouldn't stop moaning."
"So we went, my mother dropped us off, and we waited in the waiting room after checking in at the desk."
"The beginning was still the play, but I explained again that it might just be the bag."
"She still wouldn't agree, so we sat there, I gave her love and attention, and we had normal lovey chit-chat."
"I kept observing her bpm (breaths per minute), and noticed that they lowered from quick and short, to normal, while she focused on talking to me or playing games on my phone."
"The immediately came back when we were called, though."
"She wanted me in with her, as she was nervous."
"So I went in with her, she talked to the Nurse about her difficulties, no mention of back pain this time, while I held her hand."
"During the ECG, I stopped holding her hand of course, and I had to quickly shush her when she wanted to speak, not rudely, it's just because vocal vibrations can alter an ECG's results."
"And then there was the stethoscope BPM observations, etc."
"The Nurse seemed to be sure there was an issue, but then some people would agree with the casualty to avoid confrontation."
"She said she'd have to get the Doctor, and left."
"My ex then rubbed it in my face that there was something wrong with her after all."
"I was never nasty to her, I was loving and caring throughout, after trying to help in the beginning, but not giving too much of a sh*t."
"So this was unexpected, and kinda ticked me off, but I stayed calm."
"I still gave her love, care and attention, but told her politely that we'd still have to wait for the Doctor."
"The Doctor arrived with the results, and asked my ex a few things."
"My ex's face was a suite to behold!"
"She couldn't answer anything he was asking, because he was asking questions that obviously implied there was nothing off with her results!"
"Meaning there was nothing wrong with her at all, and I was right!"
"Anyway, he asked the questions he needed to ask."
"I don't remember the exact questions, but they were basically 'what have you been doing recently?'"
"'Have you been doing any strenuous exercises?' etc., and she couldn't answer."
"Then he asked me what I thought could be the issue."
"I hadn't spoken to the Nurse or Doctor until this point, bear in mind."
"I told him about her backpack."
"THE backpack that my ex BROUGHT WITH HER TO THE HOSPITAL!"
"He said that is the most likely cause of her discomfort, and advised I carry the bag for her and empty any unnecessary items to make it lighter."
"I agreed, and we were dismissed."
"My ex's face was the ultimate face of defeat!"
"I didn't rub it in her face though, like she did to me. I actually hugged her, grabbed her bag for her and walked out with her, holding her hand and ensuring her she'd be okay."
"Basically just being a loving and supportive boyfriend."
"She stopped the rapid breathing and complaining of breathing difficulties after this."
"Although, she actually stopped just before the Doctor came in the room, so yeah."
"Thanks for reading!"- Dregar12
They Weren't Entirely Wrong About Being "Humiliated".
"Once when I was in elementary, I got really bored and decided I would fake being sick."
"At the time, the word 'humiliated' was a new word for me, but I didn't know what it meant."
"My brain thought it was something like flustered or nauseous."
"I told the secretary at my school that I was so sick and was feeling humiliated."
"I was so stupid."
"Another time, my friend decided to try and skip school and twisted up some tissue paper into some kind of stick. "
"He shoved it up his nose until his face was red and his eyes went teary."
"It was a successful plot!"- the_prophecy_is_true
Don't Trick Your Parents Too Many Times...
"It’s kinda the opposite way round, but when I was little, on Christmas Day, I was sitting at the table and my stomach starting to hurt."
"A lot."
"I was a good kid and never misbehaved but for some reason my mum thought I was exaggerating or faking so she told me to stop being silly and eat up."
"I couldn’t eat."
" I felt horrible and was in a lot of pain."
"My mum just would not believe me and thought I was trying to get attention."
"About 5 more minutes of me crying and she realized something was wrong so called the doctor and put me on the sofa."
"So, that was the Christmas I missed because my appendix had burst."
"I spent a couple of months in hospital due to complications with the surgery and missed both Christmas and my birthday."
"Apparently they had caught it just in time as it could very well had been fatal."
"My family still donates what they can to the children’s wing of that hospital as that was the first of 3 times they saved my life."- PastelCurlies
Faking Illness To Cover A Real Illness...
"When I was between the ages of 4 and 13, I suffered from persistent UTIs."
"Actually, I was a mystery case in my hospital."
"No one could figure out the reason they just kept coming back."
"Anyway, this meant I would occasionally get the sudden need to pee, extremely intensely."
"If I wasn't within two meters of a bathroom I would pee myself."
"Obviously, being a teenager at school this was excruciatingly embarrassing."
"I often faked foot or leg injuries so I could either sit down and try to suppress the urge, or cover up my wet clothes."
"I was once discovered by my PE teacher to be faking, when she offered to bring a wheelchair out."
"Of course I tried to stop her, and it miraculously got better, whoops."
"Anyway, not much point to this story apart from bladder/kidney issues truly suck and I would never wish that upon anyone."- abisexualqueen
If Anyone Should Believe You, It's Doctors...
"Other way around for me."
"When I was 8 I went to Michigan to visit family with my dad."
"I got really sick on the flight back."
"So my dad took me to the hospital in the city we where in."
"The doctors and nurses thought I was fake wheezing and coughing."
"Then I passed out then woke up in my home town hospital with my parents grandparents and my pediatrician."- Noble611
Return Visitor
"We have a guy that comes into the ER all the time faking seizures."
"Best actor I’ve ever seen."
"Sternal rub and he doesn’t flinch."
"Last time it was so bad he got intubated and right as they pushed the meds he stopped and said 'ahhh that’s the good stuff'."
"Welp now we gotta tube you dude."
"Problem is he’s a drunk who falls a lot so he could in theory really be seizing."
"Biggest rule of medicine is even fakers get sick sometimes."- cbelle4
It's hard to blame someone for faking illness to get out of something that they really don't want to do.
But when you actually try to get doctors involved in your deception, you might want to question if it's really worth it.
After all, let's not forget the story of "the boy who cried wolf"...
People Confess Which Foods They Swear Other People Only Pretend To Enjoy
Have you ever tasted something that everyone kept swearing by?
You get all excited, so you taste it, and when you do... you wish you were dead.
No. You wish they were dead first.
There are many foods where the buzz is all hype and facade.
One Redditor wanted everyone to share which menu items are not as loved as we have been led to believe.
"What food do you swear people only pretend to like?"
I am very up front about my food dislikes. And I'm always looking to cross things off the list. So give me more...
Woof
"Cat food. I mean come on, my cat can't like eating that every day. I think she's just being polite."
Prophet_of_Duality
Stank
"My mom made stuffed cabbage once. I kinda like stuffed cabbage now but I didn't like cabbage anything as a kid. She left it cooking while we went out somewhere. When we came back the cabbage smell whacked us in the nose and I said I think the dog pooped on the carpet. She believed me for a second before realizing it was cabbage stank."
akatherder
Pooped
"Chitterlings. My mom-in-law made some at my house, and it smelled like a grown man crapped all over my home and walls."
"My family was from plantation fields in the Carolinas. Some still stayed but my grandparents went to NY. Relatives from the south mail buckets of that stuff lmao. I mean good stuff too like cracklins and vegetables as well but man… freakin' buckets of chilttlins so yea if you know you know."
CultofCedar
Not Appealing...
"Hákarl. I can’t imagine someone coming in from a long day of work and tucking into a plate of fishy smelling, ammonia flavored chewy shark chunks that make you smell like a bait camp for the rest of the evening. It seems like survival food - you will stay alive if you eat it, but it’s not appealing… to me. If you’re Icelandic - please help me understand why this is a thing."
kicka**timus
Vile
"Once upon a time I swore that salted licorice was the most vile thing ever to have graced our fair planet. However about a year ago my wife made me try some and much to my surprise, I liked it!."
octoprickle
Who can even pretend to like these things?
I Don't
"Fondant on like wedding cakes."
foullittletemptress
Ongr
"weird eats"
"Lutefisk."
jahshwa314
"Ever since I saw various 'weird eats' shows, I have had trying lutefisk as one of my bucket list items. (Yes, I am weird, I'll admit.) I have a friend from Minnesota who, for some reason, refuses to help me on this item."
egv78
"It's just really bland fish with slightly worse texture than normal. Nothing special about it. It's not gross or funky tasting, just really plain and unexciting."
Sepulchritudinous
Reactions
"There's an emotional reaction to foods (and other sensations) that develops over time. Eventually, it gets to the point that the food--regardless of what's disgusting about it--makes you feel something enjoyable and pleasant."
"If I'd never eaten Bleu Cheese before, I'd be disgusted by it now. But, I unknowingly had some when I was 4 or 5 at a family Christmas party in a cheeseball. When I eat Bleu Cheese these days, it reminds me of warm happy Christmases of decades long ago."
roonerspize
Canned/Uncanned?
"My roomie be eating squid out a can."
_user_name_username
"I like fried calamari the best. Had a can of squid that was ok. Added it to ramen. Tried another can of squid that included the ink. Kind of grossed me out but reminded me of sardines in tomato sauce (The ink was mixed with tomato sauce). Managed to eat it all on some ramen but won't be getting the ink one again."
starthrow817
Entitled
"Gold leaf -need I say more?"
Satanicjamnik
"It has no real taste- it’s there so that you can feel rich and entitled."
EgoSenatus
Well I'm no longer hungry.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comment below.