"What’s the gifting equivalent of flowers for a dude?"
Nothing Says Love Like Home-Baked Goods...
"Fresh baked cookies or brownies."- zazzlekdazzle
"It's a traditional romantic gift from the opposite sex that can also be given as condolence or congratulation."
"In every scenario where a girl might get given flowers, a guy might get given baked goods."- Efficient_Star_1336
Please Their Ego, And You'll Be Fine...
"Maaaan, just some appreciation and maybe a compliment."- Far_Kangaroo_8111
"I’m a simple man and don’t usually like being gifted anything."
"But a hug and heartfelt compliment or kiss from a SO goes a long way."- Fenix_Fire66
White Lotus Flirting GIF by HBOGiphyNo Need To Shop, Just Look At The Ground
"A cool rock."- simonearth
"My best mate would be over the moon if I found a cool rock and gave it to him."- NotoriousJAM
More Precious Than You Think...
"A 10mm socket."- speedyhemi
"There are only 1000 10mm sockets in the world and they move around, so if you can’t find yours it means that someone else is using it right now."- unbearablebastard
Nothing Better Than A Warm Embrace
"Hug works for me."- randymysteries
Season 9 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphySomething To Eat, Not Just See And Smell
"Lots of guys on here saying flowers."
"Sure, some guys might want flowers, but don’t let this convince you that all guys secretly want someone to give them flowers."
"I’m a 38 year old guy."
"I don’t want flowers."
"I don’t want to find a vase for them."
"I don’t want to clean up when they wilt and the petals fall off."
"I don’t want you to waste your money on them."
"Don’t get me flowers."
"Get me something I can eat or drink instead."
"Beef jerky."
"Nice coffee."
"Nice booze."
"Dessert."- gilded-perineum
"Hot meal?"- kurainikuraini
Korean Drama Cooking GIF by The Swoon"Everything Is Awesome"...
"A Lego set."- dysFUNctional_kitty
"Yes!"
"I don’t drink alcohol or like flowers, but there is always room for one more Lego set on my shelf."- DelusionalPianist
And NOT Well-Done...
"A pack of ribeyes."- fishstock
"I have rarely loved my wife as much as when she came home with a barbecue kit."
"She told me I didn’t treat myself often enough."
"So she got a couple of beers."
"Went to the butcher for a couple of burgers and a steak."
"All I had to do was turn on the grill and sit back."- mirage2101
Still In The Botanical Family...
"Potted plant."
"I love flowers, but like, bring me the whole plant."
"The flowers will die in a few days."- PVDeviant-
Little Shop Of Horrors GIF by MauditGiphySeems Fairly Obvious
"Beer."
"A six-pack is always a nice gesture."- Excellent-Practice·
Just Make Sure You Get The Right Kind And Sauces!
"Chicken wings"- wm_destroy
"Plus Ranch or Blue Cheese (depending on preference)."- RatherDashingf11
Just Don't Expect To Ever Hear From Him Again...
"RTX 4090."- Jetzve
"The only right answer."- _Revlak_
Video Games Gamer GIFGiphyIt should perhaps be mentioned that not all women love getting flowers either.
Pollen is a notoriously bad allergy.
However, no matter the gender of the recipient, any gift to show how much you appreciate them should be met with gratitude.
After all, it's the gesture that counts.
Though, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people will be even more visibly grateful to receive a gorgeous Wagyu rib-eye than they would a bouquet of daffodils...
"What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve received that you had to pretend to like?"
It's The Thought That Counts... Or Is It?
"A set of miniature butter knives with ceramic fruit and vegetables as the handles."
"From an aunt who said that I was 'So hard to shop for'."
"I was 7."- wewimev411
At Least It Made For A Good Story
"My wife’s grandmother, who has now passed was a wonderful person who had very little money but a heart of gold."
"However, as in life, her mind wasn’t all there the last few years of her life."
"My family and hers have always gotten together for the holidays and we all enjoy exchanging gifts with one another."
"During our Last Christmas with her she gifted me, then 36 M[ale], a pair of, used, toddler sized Lighting McQueen underwear that had come through her church thrift store because she knew that I love the movie 'Cars'."
"This was probably one of the most awkward, memorable moments for opening a present on Christmas Day."
"My wife’s mother still apologizes to me yearly for not checking in on what her grandmother had bought for us that year."
"It’s a great memory to all of us still together at this time."- Thndrdrag
Cheap At Half The Price...
"My brother, who at the time was 30 and had a good decent job, pulled me out of the hat for our family Kris Kringle."
"The spend was supposed to be €40."
"He turned up with a Wii accessory kit, a GameStop branded one."
"I took it with good grace, even though I didn't actually have a Wii."
"I did have an Xbox 360 though, so I figured I'd bring it back to GameStop and swap it for something."
"So when the guy at the counter scanned it, he said it was actually a free gift that they were giving away with new Wii consoles the PREVIOUS Christmas."
"Miserable b*stard."
"The following Christmas he had me again and turned up with nothing, said he'd forgotten the voucher he had bought me for GameStop, didn't even get that one."- Arkslippy
Misleading Packaging
"When I was three I opened a gift from my grandma and it was one of the big cylinders of Quaker Oats."
"I f*cking loved it."
"But then my grandma, chuckling, told me I should look inside the container."
"Inside was a pair of pajamas."
"I started crying because it wasn’t oatmeal."
"After the initial shock, those pajamas were my favorite pajamas for the next year, so it was a good gift but not at first."- origami_alligator
A Date That Will Live In Infamy...
"A Lamborghini calendar."
"My brother got a guitar and amp."
"My two sisters got a bike each."
"I hate Lamborghinis now."- xixac22666
Not Exactly How Re-Gifting Works...
"Getting a shirt from my sister-in-law that was too big, The same shirt my parents gifted to my husband when they came back from a trip to Europe, said shirt we mysteriously weren't able to find in our closet when my husband wanted to wear it for Halloween."
"In honestly would have been perfectly fine with just a card or nothing at all, I'm not materialistic."- Fine-Mushroom3834
Animated GIFGiphyHow Do You Really Feel?...
"When I was in grade school I like to wear my fingernails long, but my mom hated it."
"Every single year for Christmas she would give me nail clippers."
"And every single year my sister would give me a diary because the first year they did it I was stupid enough to use it but then my whole family turned out to be reading it."
"So every year after that I opened my new diary and thanked her but never touched it again."- According-Type-9664
Hidden Meaning?
{A How-to-Make-Balloon animals kit while my wife got $100 Amazon card."- JoeSchmoe314159
By Not Splurging On Christmas Presents?
"Eons ago I worked for a company owned by the richest man in Minnesota."
"One year, all of us peons, and there were a couple thousand of us, got a copy of his book."
"It was all about how he became the richest man in Minnesota."
"Cheap bastard."- yolohat266
Plotting The Simpsons GIFGiphyWhen opening these most unwanted presents, we usually find ourselves at a loss for words.
The best thing to do in situations like this, is simply tell the truth, by saying:
"I really don't know what to say!"
My list seems to get shorter every year. This means I'm focusing more on my needs and not just wants.
Not that I don't appreciate a ton of frivolous holiday loot.
So let's start gathering up ideas on how to make this Christmas the best one yet. How are we gonna fill those stockings?
A secret Redditor wanted to hear all about our Christmas wishes this year. They asked:
What do you want for Christmas?
After they asked, they deleted their Reddit name. Santa... is that you?
I want money. Is that bad? I don't care if you think so. Just give me the cash and I'll do the shopping myself. Oh, and Adele tickets.
Oh yeah... and of course, world peace.
Sing Out
adele hello GIFGiphy"I want concert tickets for a New Year's Eve event and to meet a friend." ~ esquiteconchile
What is Necessary?
"I can't think of anything. I'm good." ~ Trapped_In_A_Blur
"You just made my day. I really do wish people didn't "need" anything for a holiday-made-silly by gift-giving… we all need a lot of things, regardless of what season it is. These are (often) things that aren't tangible objects to begin with… so, thanks for commenting. Love and light, y'all." ~ YoureACloudAirry
Essential Tools
"A new spatula and a nap." ~ indecisive_ly
"Go to Spatula City." ~ new-username-2017
"Before investing in a spatula, consider this one and their other accessories. Cut down my stuff draw by about 80%." ~ StabbyInc
Upgrading Crafts
"I want a PC upgrade, but I'd rather my wife get all the yarn she wants for all her projects." ~ nyle2
"Literally this. Last year I want to buy a new motor but wife wants to save for our dream house. And now we are focusing on building it. I guess a good choice to make." ~ Shot-Investigator-90
"Okay. You sell your PC to buy her a bunch of yarn, and she can sell her knitting needles to buy you that upgrade she knows you really want." ~ SoullessDad
Pain Relief
Massage GIF by CompexGiphy"One of those back massager guns." ~ Ultra_Maxwell
"I would want one of those except I don't have anyone to use it on or to use it on me. I just want the world to be free of addiction tbh." ~ MummaGoose
I love those massage guns. I HAVE to get one, thanks for reminding me. And I always want another nap, they are definitely a gift. Spatulas? Meh.
Comfort
Teddy Bear Hug GIFGiphy"A hug." ~ Correct-Revenue2900
"I need one too. So lets hug 8 times, apparently its the no of hugs one needs to get thru the day. But it would be weird 2 strangers hugging each other 8 times in a row so I guess it's off the table. I guess I'm just refused myself lol." ~ ChutkiJoTuneMariHai
Easy on Me
"My mom died in April, it will be very different for all of us this year. My wish is that it won't be too hard on the kids, or my wife. She has really struggled with her loss." ~ mustang-and-a-truck
"The first anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are the worst by far. I'm not going to tell you it gets easier with time because doesn't. Ten years from now you'll still remember that day like it was yesterday because to your heart it was yesterday."
"What does get easier are the days and moving forward with your life without them. Remembering them won't hurt as much and one day you'll find that it makes you happy to remember and not shed a tear. The memory of them keeps them alive so long as someone is around to remember them. So long as you're around, they're never really gone." ~ 19GamerGhost95
Happy Feet
"Socks. Literally I love socks. Simple." ~ TheVines2002EVOLVED
"You know growing up I used to get pissed when I opened a gift and it was socks. Now as an adult I actually add it to my Christmas list every year." ~ throwawaymeplease45
"Exactly my evolution as well. Anything that separates you from the ground is a blessing not to be taken lightly. Shoes, socks, a good mattress, etc." ~ TheVines2002EVOLVED
the end
"I want the pandemic to end." ~ Lildebeest
"I also wish for this. I'm getting REALLY sick of not living life normally just for the cases in my city to continuously go up and up. People. Are. Idiots." ~ xnightwolflivesx
"Same, it's my wife's 30th in January and I have booked us an epic holiday months ago, it's really getting my anxieties going as the cases stay high here :( 😞." ~ T0ddBarker
Happy Holidays!
All I Want For Christmas Is You GIF by Mariah CareyGiphy"I want all the wishes of the people commenting to come true. It's been a rough year for everybody, so I wish you all have a nice Christmas." ~ improbablynotahuman
Get those credit cards ready, and get those lists together. But start shopping now because this supply chain issue could leave us all empty-handed on Christmas morning.
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Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks Familiar
Broad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
Devastation!
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
- BBoySlim
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basics
law school finals GIFGiphy"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
season 4 lint roller GIF by Veep HBOUnlucky 13
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
- kelpself
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
Lazy Thoughts...
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Holy cow my parents do crap like this. It's so freaking weird. Their ultimate whack-a-doo move was to give my wife and I a few acres of their property."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...
Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
Bummer...
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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