Fathers love their kids. There's no question about that. But fathers have one major advantage when it comes to babies--they don't have to do the physical labor.
Giving birth itself, well...it's painful. We all know that. But men have the luxury of not totally knowing.
But what if they had to?
u/ry_seemor asked:
Here were some of those answers.
The Details Matter
It depends what hole they are going to come out of.... lol otherwise yes. I love being a dad!
No From Me Dawg
Hell no! I wanted kids and so did my wife. We had kids and I love em all, and I am so proud of my wife and impressed with what she did - but I wouldn't want to go through it. Gaining weight, I could do that. Swollen ankles, nausea, being uncomfortable all the time...ok. But the actual birth? No. Even with all the medications, hell no.
Now, take this for what it's worth coming from a guy on the internet, but I'm a pretty tough guy. I can push myself pretty hard and if I can walk off some pretty serious injuries (or at least not cry while I'm getting carried off). But one of the worst things in the world isn't getting hurt, it's knowing you are going to get hurt, bad, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
In 8 months you are going to feel the worst pain you have ever felt. in 6 months. In 2. In a week. Tomorrow. 4 hours. 1 hour. 15 minutes...
That is psychological torture.
(Regarding the countdown, we had an induced labor)
The Risk Involved
Not a father but I may want children in the future...
I would feel the same. Having children is a terrifying (and beautiful) prospect, even not having to carry the pregnancy. I'm both scared and drawn to it, regardless. I would be scared for my SO's and children's health and well being both for during the pregnancy and worried that I would not be a good enough parent in the upbringing. I'm pretty confident that I could do a good job, but I also think it would be naive not to have misgivings. For the actual pregnancy as is I would be worried about my SO's health. Pregnancies and deliveries still do frequently enough go wrong and end up dangerous, and it seems like all pregnancies do have permanent physical consequences. In some way it would almost be easier being able to face that myself rather than see a loved one risk it, but it would also be a difficult thing to face as the one at risk too.
It Makes It All Harder
I wanted one, maybe two, so it's not like I'd have been birthing an army. Now at 2 and no one has to worry about pregnancies anymore.
Honestly I'm always slightly shocked we're not dying off planet wide, we need to average more than 2 each just to maintain and I can't imagine either side choosing to go for 3+
Aggressively Male
Yes. I just watched my wife give birth all natural (no pain killers) a month ago. Most women will not want to hear this, but I honestly believe I could crush it. I'd be like those MMA fighters on youtube getting pepper-sprayed, then attacking a punching bag. The whole maternity ward would hear me. I'd be like "YEAH, I'M CRUSHING IT!!!!" And they would know what's up.
Nope
Love being a dad but envied absolutely nothing about pregnancy, labour of delivery.
Ladies deserve much more credit for what they endure and sacrifice!
Spare Her
Yes. I want two and I would happily carry them myself if I could spare my girlfriend the pain.
34-year-old twins Jill Noe and Whitney Bliesner have been best friends their whole lives.
The pair are inseparable.
When Noe heard her sister was in need, it was second nature to offer help.
Whitney Bliesner has a rare genetic condition known as neurofibromatosis type 2, which causes noncancerous fibrous tumors to develop in her nervous system.
The hormonal changes that are a normal part of pregnancy stand a good chance of making this worse, so it isn't safe for Whitney to become pregnant. The tumors have already led to Bliesner's loss of sight in one eye and hearing in one ear.
Bliesner and Noe are fraternal twins, they do not share all of their DNA, so the genetic condition that affects Whitney isn't present in Jill.
When Whitney confided in Jill that she really wanted a baby, but surrogates and adoption were prohibitively expensive, Jill didn't hesitate before offering to act as a surrogate for her sister and her husband.
"I was like, yeah! Let's just do it! Let's just see where this goes and let's see if I can get my body to where it needs to be to have your kids."
Whitney spoke with The New York Post about her reaction to Jill's offer:
"I was speechless at first. She was giving up her life to do this for me."
Noe has always been very athletic, formerly playing basketball for Arizona State University. Bliesner told CNN that she was shocked her sister would give up that lifestyle for her.
"I was very happy and excited, but also shocked, because I know how active and fun and exciting her life is, and for her to want to actually stop that for me was just kind of like a shock."
Because of Whitney's medical concerns, they were unable to use her eggs, so the couple opted for a donor egg fertilized with Whitney's husband's sperm.
"We couldn't use my eggs because there's a 50/50 chance I could pass it on and I just don't think I would be able to live with myself if I knew I passed this condition to my kids."
Jill is currently in a relationship and said that things can get a bit awkward when meeting people for the first time. She told The Post:
"I tell people I'm a surrogate for my twin sister. As I see their wheels turning, I offer up the information that they used a donor egg and her husband's sperm — and no, I did not sleep with her husband!"
The ASU Alumni Association shared the news of Noe's act of love on Twitter.
From Sun Devil to surrogate, #ASUAlumni and former @SunDevilWBB player Jill Noe gives new meaning to the word team… https://t.co/gB1kumJHSD— ASU Alumni (@ASU Alumni) 1554772504
Noe also shared the story on Facebook, to many congratulations from both friends and family, and the general public.
Patti Buess/Facebook
Karen Hartzman/Facebook
Alex Taimanao/Facebook
Keshia Victoria/Facebook
Family being there for family is nothing new, but the love that Noe has shared for her sister with this one act is remarkable.
She truly wants her sister to be happy.
"She's had so many things taken away from her. This is a way I can help provide her with two beautiful children."
Selfless 61-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth To Her Own Granddaughter To Help Out Her Gay Son And His Husband
Now here's something you don't read everyday.
Matthew Eledge and his husband Elliot Dougherty wanted children, so they began considering their options, including searching for a surrogate.
What they didn't expect was for Matthew's mother, Cecile, to be up for the job. She delivered the couple's daughter, Uma, on March 25.
Lea Yribe, Elliot's sister, supplied the egg. Matthew supplied the sperm. His mother served as the surrogate.
Speaking to The Huffington Post, Matthew Eledge said:
"Sometimes even really intelligent people hear this story and think it's incest. We get really honest questions from really smart people like, 'Are you scared of the genetic abnormalities?' It's a fine question, it's a unique situation, but I think it's easiest to spell it out in layman's terms: My mother was simply the oven."
In an interview with The New York Post, he added:
"People are confused, which is normal. We got a lot of people being like, 'wait a minute, whose egg? And whose sperm? As gay men, we're so lucky to be having children at a time when people are actually celebratory of our relationship and of us being parents, and also at a time when technology allows us to have this baby, with some of Elliot's genetic material and some of my genetic material."
Cecile was in excellent health. She had already gone through menopause and underwent cardiology, pulmonary and physical tests to see if she could carry the child.
As she recalled:
"There was a part of me thinking, it will be a miracle if we pass every test, there is going to be something. I knew if I wasn't going to be a healthy candidate, I would never put the baby in jeopardy. Every time I would go talk to another doctor, whether my internist or cardiologist, they looked and said 'There's absolutely no reason you can't do this.'"
The process of carrying Uma began as a joke. The couple had always wanted to start a family but faced a tough road ahead of them as they considered IVF and adoption. When she agreed to be the gestational carrier, no one believed it could be possible.
"The bottom line is my health was good," Cecile said. "I kept thinking 60s are the new 40s, and people in their 40s are having babies. Sixty-one is just a number; it's how you feel and your health that was really the motivation."
Cecile was admitted to the hospital "earlier than planned" due to high blood pressure, but Uma was born "strong and healthy."
Cecile, who delivered the baby vaginally, said she had no qualms about giving the baby over to her son and his husband once she'd been delivered:
"A lot of people would say, 'Are you going to be able to hand this baby over when you've been carrying her for nine months?' Every time we went to an ultrasound or an appointment, I looked at her as my granddaughter ― never something I owned or possessed. All I visualized was being able to deliver naturally and to hand her over to Matt and Elliot, who were so desperate and so deserving of making their dream a reality."
People are thrilled for the happy couple.
A mothers love has no boundaries. This is my cousin and I am so proud to say so. Love is Love always. https://t.co/KGwMTwdEDl— Melissa Burnett (@Melissa Burnett) 1554148747
Mom is the surrogate (oven): Her Son is the sperm donor and his Sister-in-law or Sister of his Husband, is the egg… https://t.co/Y9iSuHROio— Ghent Regine (@Ghent Regine) 1554146666
(Pictured: Baby Uma) https://t.co/RyUcjMpjwu via @MailOnline I'm in love with this story ... a must read. #cutestbabyalert #BABYUMA— Mia Spano-Curtiss & Sondra Price (@Mia Spano-Curtiss & Sondra Price) 1553922754
"She [Uma] has so many amazing women to look up to," Matthew told The New York Post. "Now it's fun to say [to Elliot], 'This is ours now, we get to bond and connect and work together as a team.'"
She definitely does!
The FDA Has Approved The First Drug To Treat Postpartum Depression—But It'll Cost You
Most medications in the US are staggeringly expensive, but new ones are often the worst.
According to the American Psychological Association, approximately one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression (PPD).
The APA describes the possible symptoms of PPD as:
- A loss of pleasure or interest in things you used to enjoy, including sex
- Eating much more, or much less, than you usually do
- Anxiety—all or most of the time—or panic attacks
- Racing, scary thoughts
- Feeling guilty or worthless—blaming yourself
- Excessive irritability, anger or agitation—mood swings
- Sadness, crying uncontrollably for very long periods of time
- Fear of not being a good mother
- Fear of being left alone with the baby
- Misery
- Inability to sleep, sleeping too much, difficulty falling or staying asleep
- Disinterest in the baby, family, and friends
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions
- Thoughts of hurting yourself or the baby (see below for numbers to call to get immediate help).
PPD can affect anyone who has recently given birth, whether it is their first child or not. Socioeconomic class, race, age, education or location make no difference.
The FDA has just approved a drug specifically for the treatment of PPD, and it is making waves. Partially because it is a revolutionary development, and partially because of the sheer cost of that treatment.
According to Vox, the treatment will cost around $34,000, not including the price of the hospital stay necessary to administer it.
Anyone seeking brexanolone (trade name Zolressa) has to check themselves into a hospital certified to administer the drug.
Treatment will take 60 hours of constant IV infusion, necessitating a multi-day hospital stay.
For those with severe PPD, though, the price and the process may be worth it.
Dr. Lucy Puryear, who is the medical director of Center for Reproductive Psychiatry at Texas Children's Pavilion for Women in Houston and who was not involved with the clinical trials in any way, described brexanolone as a "game changer" for those with severe PPD:
"These are women who often are thinking about dying. They aren't able to function, aren't getting out of bed."
There were many people on social media heartened to hear there was a new and effective PPD treatment.
@cnnbrk Wonderful news for new moms! Having been part of a postpartum depression outpatient program I am so encouraged— Leslie #MyAmerica (@Leslie #MyAmerica) 1553037448
@cnnbrk This is HUGE for women's mental health! As an organization dedicated to helping moms, dads, providers and b… https://t.co/MpIrd9rWLg— Postpartum Support International (PSI) (@Postpartum Support International (PSI)) 1553103050
Several people commented on the sheer price of the drug.
@cnnbrk I think this sounds amazing, but the cost of it is just insane. How many people could realistically afford… https://t.co/LNyCjUoA0h— zanni (@zanni) 1553108190
@sarahkliff Why should any drug cost so much?— OkeyMor Taking a stand for justice with receipts (@OkeyMor Taking a stand for justice with receipts) 1553089477
@NIMHDirector @cbulik @nytimes Shame it requires 60 hr infusion, 30k/dose price tag, and hospitalization to receive (+ cost of hospital).— Abby Sarrett-Cooper (@Abby Sarrett-Cooper) 1553087557
Others noted the effects of the method of delivery.
@NIMHDirector @cbulik @nytimes Shame it requires 60 hr infusion, 30k/dose price tag, and hospitalization to receive (+ cost of hospital).— Abby Sarrett-Cooper (@Abby Sarrett-Cooper) 1553087557
Dr. Samantha Meltzer-Brody, director of perinatal psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and principal investigator of the clinical trials for brexanolone, commented on the promise of the drug:
"This is for postpartum depression, but it is a step in understanding how we treat depression more broadly. We have had the same treatments for depression for 30 years. There's an enormous need for new, novel ways to treat depression, and to treat it quickly."
If you think you might be suffering from PPD, consult your doctor. If you are worried you might harm yourself or your family, here are some ways to get immediate help:
- Postpartum Health Alliance's 24-hour hotline: 1-800-PPD-MOMS
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
If you just need to talk to someone who understands, here are some good options:
- Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773
- Postpartum Health Alliance's warmline (staffed by people who have overcome PPD and know the struggle): 619-254-0023
PPD can be overcome, and this new treatment is another tool in the doctors' arsenal.
Whether she's on stage or on screen Amy Schumer is known for her brazen,no-limits comedy, but her Instagram followers known that behind the scenes the comedian is even more irreverent. So it's no surprise that Schumer is taking the same unabashed approach to being pregnant.
For most celebrity moms-to-be pregnancy entails at least one over-the-top maternity shoot, but leave it to Amy Schumer to once again buck tradition and go her own way.
Instead of being surrounded by flowers or traipsing through a forest in a couture ball gown the comedian opted to strip down and chase ducks naked through a New Orleans park for a priceless maternity shoot that fans are just in love with.
"On a chilly Nola morning it's best to chase ducks with nothing weighing you down except a baby," Shumer wrote on Instagram.
Schumer also took on the traditional "walking through a forest" shot with her characteristic humor, posing naked in a Louisiana swamp while covering herself with two handfuls of moss.
The photos accompany a new, "brutally honest" profile of Schumer by the New York Times in which Schumer talks about her polarizing comedy and the challenges of pregnancy.
"Thank you @zinomanjason for your profile on me," Schumer wrote in the caption. "Brutally honest. My favorite kind of honesty. See you in another 10 when you write about me again."
The maternity shoot was classic Schumer and fans were loving her humor and fearlessness.
Much like her comedy Schumer has taken a self-depreciating, take no prisoners approach to pregnancy.
It's been a wild ride so far and Schumer has invited fans to follow her journey every step of the way, posting often about the up and downs on the road to motherhood.
Earlier this month Schumer shared a hilarious post on Instagram about pregnancy cravings and she chowed down on some beignets.
And back in February Schumer showed off her moves as she joined a dance team practicing for Mardi Gras in a New Orleans park.
Though pregnancy hasn't been all fun and beignets. Schumer suffers from a condition called hyperemesis. Instead of the traditional morning sickness Schumer feels almost constantly nauseated.
Schumer told the New York Times that by her estimate she has vomited almost 1000 times since becoming pregnant.
But being who she is Schumer hasn't shied from sharing that part of her pregnancy too.
As one might expect from a comedian though Schumer has channeled all the joy and discomfort of pregnancy into her new Netflix special called Growing which will be available on the streaming service March 19th. If it's even half as funny as her maternity shoot you aren't going to want to miss it.