"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Slowly But Surely...
"Worst case I’ve ever had, I basically gave every verbal cue I knew of, eventually stood up, then stood in the doorway, then backed out of the doorway, and this dude was still talking."
'In the end I just said ‘I’ll be back’ and closed the door on him mid-sentence."- delpigeon
Sometimes You Have To Cut In...
"Mental health worker here."
"I see patients every day who will talk forever if you don't stop them."
"You simply have to interrupt and redirect/or end the conversation."
"I always politely tell them, 'let me stop you there' or 'Let me jump in there'."
"Sometimes you have to be abrupt or else you will be held hostage by the one sided conversation."- DeadSharkEyes
Noises In Your Head...
"'Ssshh! Do you hear that??'"
"'No?'"
"'One Sec', and just run off."- i_f*ckin_luv_it_mate
Puppet What GIF by Gerbert!GiphyMy Ride Is Waiting...
"I'm an Uber driver, I was once summoned to pick up two people for just this reason."
"They had me drive four blocks/.25 miles/1.5 minutes to another bar just to get out of a conversation with someone."
"Minimum fare ($3.75) and $10 tip on the app."- verminiusrex
Slightly Outdated...
"I have to return some video tapes"- LeMarcusKing
You're Really Helping Each Other Out...
"I don't mean to interrupt but-"
"It's got to be done, so just do it."
"They need a break anyway."- p1um5mu991er
Awkward Cringe GIF by MASTERPIECE | PBSGiphyWho Are You Again?
“'Ann was getting a little chummy. When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care.' - Ron Swanson."- Pyre_Aurum
Just Be Straightforward
"I read one of those mildly interesting newspaper features recently with an 'etiquette expert', their advice was rather than make an excuse, you should be more direct that you are ending the conversation and say something like 'I've really enjoyed talking with you, I'm going to circulate around the room now' as it's less likely to create an expectation you might come back."
"It does work too!"- Boyleingbass
Reverse Psychology, The Irish Way!
"We have a great line that we use in Ireland."
"I haven't heard it used abroad but it could well be used all over for all I know."
"The person is rabbiting on and is showing no sign of stopping."
"You clearly and firmly say 'I'll let you go'."
"Then with the confidence of a person doing them a favor, you turn on your heel and stride away."
"This has the effect of making them think you are the one wanting to avoid wasting their time."
"If they figure it out they can't call you out on it because to do so would be to admit, at least to themselves, that they are wasting your time."
"In fact most people never allow themselves to think it might be them who is holding you up so they accept the 'offer' of your leaving in order for them to get on with their important work."
"In general if someone says 'I'll let you go' to me, rare but it has happened, I smile and say bye and end the conversation."
"It is a social convention and I abide by it."
"They want out."
"No ego."
"Let them go and the best of luck to them."
"People appreciate that I imagine."- Nuffsaid98
let it go GIFGiphyOf course, all of the above are ways of telling people whom you presumably do want to see again, one day, to stop talking
If you never want to be on the receiving end of someone talking, a simple "shut up" should prove quite effective.
I wish I had some sort of tradition.
“grandfather”
Water Smiling GIFGiphy"Went over to my Laotian friends house when I was little and upon entering his house he said I had to remove my shoes and bow to his grandfather. When he said 'grandfather' he pointed to a fish mounted on the wall. Thinking it was some kind of reincarnation thing I did it and was instantly berated and laughed at by his whole family."
pistonkamel
Just Like A Pill
"So, I was invited to my friend's grandmother's home for Thanksgiving. I was new to the area and I had no family near so I graciously accepted. My buddy, Jason, gave me the breakdown of his extended family that was going to be in attendance. His parents were divorced but would both be attending. His grandparents were married but legally separated and lived apart, but Grandfather would attending."
"His Uncle Carl would be there with his 'mail order bride' and their young son. His other Uncle Ted, was openly gay and battling AIDS. He and his lover would also be there. So I have set the stage, you can probably picture all of them in your mind. In person, it exceeded my imagination. Ted’s boyfriend wore cowboy chaps to dinner. They were all very colorful and animated, the pre dinner discussions were riveting."
"As we were seated for the meal, Jason’s grandmother (Sara) took out an Altoids tin, took two and began passing it around the table. I watched as everyone took 1-2 and immediately took them and washed them down with a drink. Jason got the tin and did the same. I asked him, why is everyone swallowing Altoids before supper? They all laughed. He said oh, these are Valium."
"We learned several years ago that as we gather for Thanksgiving we drank and arguments ensued. So one year my Uncle said, we should all just take a Valium at the beginning of the meal so we can all just chill the hell out. They all laughed hysterically and agreed."
"I passed on the offer and handed the tin to Jason’s mom as next in line. And as the evening played out, they all essentially zoned out during dinner, no fights transpired, and they considered it a successful Thanksgiving. I would have never imagined this would happen, but it was a damn fun experience."
petey001
"impressionable"
"When I was 11 I stayed at my aunt's house over the school holidays with my 13yr old brother, she had a rule that we couldn't watch any tv shows that she considered 'impressionable.' That meant no cartoons, namely Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon. We missed the end of the Cell Saga. My brother was pissed, he hasn't let it go to this day, over 20 years later."
newbzealand
I think this counts...
"Drank slightly-chocolaty water for a month. I think this counts. Years back I was prospecting for a field site on a very remote island in the south pacific. It was sufficiently remote that having me in the neighborhood was something of a spectacle, so as I made trips out to villages from my 'home village', I was feted along the way. I'd get to a village and the local head man and I would get to talking and they'd have a nice feast."
"These guys aren't entirely cut off from the world so one nice trade good they had was powdered milk and Ovaltine. On arriving at the second village, I noticed that they weren't exactly well-to-do, but out came the Ovaltine. Not wanting to use up their supplies, I foolishly interrupted the preparation to tell them 'that was enough'. They looked confused but handed over water with just a bit of Ovaltine floating at the top."
"It was wretched. But trying to be polite, I drank it all. And smiled. Word got around so every village I went to thereafter was informed of my 'preference.' Couldn't exactly correct them at this point as somebody might have been insulted, sooo I drank it. Kinda wonder if the next visitor benefitted from my blunders in protocol."
Kevin_Uxbridge
Being polite...
Dessert Merry Happy GIF by TWICEGiphy"Went to a friend's house for dinner a lovely meal. The whole family cleaned their plates of food then turned them over and ate dessert on the back of their plates like it was the most normal thing in the world. I copied them just to be polite."
Argybargyass
People really do have interesting ways to celebrate and live.
Diablo 2
diablo 3 GIFGiphy"We got yelled at for 'playing that devil game again!' We were playing Mario kart. And Bowser kept freaking his mom out. So we muted it and all was fine from then on. Meanwhile his little brother was literally playing Diablo 2 at the time in the same room. But he already had it muted so it wasn't a problem I guess."
Qix213
by torchlight...
"I once got roped into a wassailing. Marching by torchlight (literal flaming torches) down to the guys orchard to sing at the trees was a new one on me. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was just a handful of us, as in just me, my schoolfriend, his brother, and his parents. Still, we got some cider out of it."
-Satsujinn-
Naked
"I guess this qualifies as "culture:"
"My sister was dating a man that had been raised in a nudist colony. He took her to meet his family at their house at the colony. She was a tad surprised when his mother immediately says 'there is a hook on the bathroom door for your clothes.' My sister proceeds to spend the entire evening naked with his folks. Her BF had told her before they went that it would be her option but I guess his parents didn't think so."
asphyxiationbysushi
Antwerp
"When I lived in Antwerp (Belgium), I once was stopped by an elderly, woman on the street. She was asking for help inside her house. Guiding me through a house where the temperature was way too hot, she stopped at every radiator and asked me to turn them down."
"In the end we went to the kitchen, where some jewish women and children were watching me silently while I was putting all the burning gas stoves on a low heat. Then she showed me out, thanked me and closed the door. In Antwerp there is a big community of hasidic jews, I can imagine this was during sabbath."
laurens-t
Time and Place
Big Brother What GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"I work for the ambulance service and I was asked to take my shoes off before attending to their mother in cardiac arrest. Politely reminded them that there was a time and place."
phoenixfeet72
culture/religion...
"I had a neighborhood friend that i played on the street with and at school sometimes. Her mom and dad always told me i wasn’t allowed to be in the same room as my friends older brothers because seeing young women was a sin for unmarried men. i was 10 at the most. the youngest of her older brothers was 16. When I was asked by my friend to sleep over for her birthday i was told by her and her mother thatIi needed to remain in my friends bedroom."
"Her mother would bring us food and drinks and take us to go to the bathroom whenever it was safe. I told my sister about it the next day and she told me i wasn’t allowed to go near their house or my friend again. to this day I still don’t know if it was actually due to culture/religion or if maybe they just had a really freaking weird family."
haesslichryn
And check this...
Tom And Jerry Food GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"I remember going to my Swedish friends house. And while we were playing in his room, his mom yelled that dinner was ready. And check this. He told me to WAIT in his room while they ate. That crap was f**king wild."
Wowimatard
Peace signs...
"I went over to a friend's house for a sleepover and when I changed into my pajamas her mom started demanding I put something else on and throw my pajamas out. I was really confused, she was yelling about how my pajamas were sinful and bore signs of the devil!"
"I ended up just calling my mom to take me home because I was so uncomfortable, but that woman just kept scolding us for allowing me to wear satantic symbols. The symbols on my pajamas? Peace signs. She said they were broken crosses, so clearly a sign of the devil."
usernameemma
Eh…?
"I once went to have dinner with a girl from Uni who came from a super nice but very religious family. Her dad turned out the be the pastor. Absolutely no problem being silent while they’re praying before dinner, however after dinner the whole family got their bibles out, and asked me politely, which my favourite verse was so we could read it together. Eh…?"
Qihai7
Coal
australian government simpsons GIF by Environment VictoriaGiphy"My friends father was a Geordie and his grandad was Scottish. Each hogmanay it was my job to leave their house and re-enter bearing a gift of coal. This was my task as I was the only one there with dark hair. So that's a thing."
GabberZZ
Snowed
"Went to stay with distant relatives in Lithuania during winter. It's nothing for them to all get naked in the sauna and pat each other with birch branches then run out and roll in the snow. After a while I just went f**k it and gave into my inhibitions but at first it was a bit confronting being naked, exposed and vulnerable. On the flip side, their snow chilled vodka was primo which broke the ice so to speak; would 100% do again."
mypoopscaresflysaway
skin and all...
"I am reminded of the story on Reddit where a girl went to her boyfriend's parent's house to meet them, and they had a ritual where they gather around a table and savagely consume an entire orange, skin and all. She didn't do it, and she upset the entire family. I think it's my favorite story from Reddit."
frauleinsteve
“witches”
Hocus Pocus Wtf GIF by FreeformGiphy"I was kicked out of an elementary school friend’s birthday party because another friend and I played 'witches' in her treehouse. She was Southern Baptist. There was a literal cauldron in her treehouse, I stand by my decision."
erineestevenson
‘cheat night’
"Late to the game, but here goes. I had a friend growing up whose parents didn’t allow any snacks in the house. Every time he invited me over to spend the night, I was expected to bring boxes of snack food because it could be allowed if brought in by an outsider. And yes, his parents would partake, too. So there was junior high school aged Higestache bringing boxes of snacks for an entire family to have a ‘cheat night’ at my expense."
higestache
When in Rome... so as people do...
lonely career suicide GIF by Chris GethardSchooled
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
I freaking wish they would. Dad just had a laundry list of crap that I needed to change to be more successful.
I got straight A's, lettered in Latin and AP Physics, and took all AP classes, dad. No crap I wasn't getting out for more exercise or doing more pleasure reading-- I had 4 hours of homework a night!
Being Everywhere....
In 2004 I once told a girl, "You're like Visa, everywhere I want to be". She giggled and then went on with her life.
in 2013, while drunk at a wedding after party of one of my best friends, I was sharing stories of dumb things I did as a teen and young adult to a table full of people when a very pretty lady sitting on her fiancée's lap drunkenly slurred out, "Where have you been all my life?" to which I replied, "I'm not sure, but I got here as fast as I could"...
The two of them left soon after that statement was made.
Stay back
Tell The Tea GIF by DreezyGiphyI once asked a girl, "Where have you been all my life?"
Her response was, "I don't know, but I wish I was still there."
Oscar Says...
"You're a conversation starter. Not when you are around but once you leave."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
schitts creek burn GIF by CBCTake the Boot
Dad's old one is "couldn't pour pee out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel."
Oh no... this one got me because at first I was picturing someone lifting the boot above their head to read the underside. Took me a few seconds to realize you would flip it over instead. 🤦🏻♂️
Turns out I couldn't pour pee out of a boot.
You own a Mirror?
megan mullally nbc GIF by Will & GraceGiphyCalling them by a characteristic or article of clothing they are wearing.
Whatever you say haircut. Or sure thing sunglasses.
It will bother them long after the comment.
Dumb Luck
I find the fact that you lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
I see that you haven't met some of my neighbors. Here's a good example. One of them lit their yard on fire, forgot they had a garden hose, ran around with a bucket trying to put it out, and then eventually remembered there was a hose.
Did I mention that they are a firefighter so none of these things ought to have happened? I am glad I don't live immediately next to them and that incident has resulted in me having less confidence in my local fire department... for obvious reasons.
Bless your Heart
dumb patrick star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyYour grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
Or "honey, you're not pretty enough to be this dumb."
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