Redditor Human02211979 wanted men to share about the things they're over women saying, so they asked:
"What's a phrase men hate hearing from women?"
I don't dabble with the ladies.
I feel like I'm about to be glad about that.
Thoughts?
season 6 episode 24 GIFGiphy“'Do you know why I pulled you over?'”
WHEENC
"It depends on how long you were following me."
ersomething
Just Pick!
"The food thing."
"'I'm not hungry or you pick... but not there not there not there not there or there.'"
"It's one of the most widely joked about relationship tropes... but it has to be one of the truest. I watched two married friends this weekend almost lose it over this lol."
HotelRwandaBeef
"Frustrating for anyone in a relationship whose partner does this. I'm a woman and my male fiancée can't make a decision about food to save his life, almost literally. If you put him in a room with his 2 favorite foods and told him he can't eat until he chooses one, he would starve to death. It makes me freaking crazy."
forestfairygremlin
Not Good Enough
“'They couldn’t handle me.'”
"Relationships are about building each other up, not constantly having to deal with the other person’s attitude or poor behavior/mental health. This is not as much of a flex as a lot of people think it is and raises major red flags for me."
OreoKing10
"Dude this is so true, God *amn its true. These type of girls who say that are ONLY trouble and have no insight to why they act like they do. Its mental."
TheZwoop
“nothing”
"'How can you not think anything, you must be hiding something.'"
SuvenPan
"I mean sometimes it’s nothing but most of the time 'nothing' is just a random situation that makes no sense that I’m thinking of in my mind. I don’t know why I’m trying to think which animal would be the best drift racer and I don’t know where to start explaining the thought process behind it or how I even got there."
ThePowerPoint
Say Nothing
quiet tim and eric GIFGiphy"'Do you like my friend?' Because it always ends up in an argument either way."
nothinglasts21
Oh that is a dangerous setup.
It's a Trap
the office no GIFGiphy"'Tell me what you are thinking. Do I look fat? Be honest.'"
illini02“
"'As a modern woman, you do not need a man to validate your self-image. Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself whether or not you look fat.'"
Jedi_Master_Baggins
Start Over
"Are you even listening to me, and I think to myself what a weird way to start a conversation."
bigfish3636
"I sometimes forget that whenever my boyfriend is doing something like reading the paper, I have to get his attention BEFORE I start talking. Often ends in me talking for a minute before noticing an all too familiar blank stare on his face which prompts the question 'did you get any of that?' and then he repeats the last three words in an unsure cadence. Then I start from the beginning, lol."
shadythrowaway9
Nonsense
“'How are you still single, you’re a great guy?' Hear it a bunch from some women friends of mine. I always just brush it off but kinda stings a bit more each time."
AverageJames
"I lived in a big house with lots of roommates. We had this big vent one night. We were going to go bar hopping but all the girls vented about how often they were bothered and hit on at bars. How they needed to go in groups to feel safe. And they never could go to just have fun with each other."
"2 weeks later I mentioned how frustrating dating can be at group dinner. There was a communal laugh about how easy it was. 'Literally just go to any bar.'"
DigNitty
Not my Owner
"Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn’t do this but don’t ever say you 'trained' your boyfriend or even friend to do something. Friendships and relationships are a great way to have a different perspective and take things on in different ways. To say you trained your friend or boyfriend is incredibly dehumanizing and makes you seem incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Plus, you didn’t 'train' your boyfriend to use conditioner, you just made him realize that even though he doesn’t think it’s significant in his value system, it isn’t worth the fact you keep bugging him about it."
DuncanRobinson4MVP
Oh Lord
Come On Man GIF by IdentityGiphy"'I was thinking...'"
"Whenever my wife says that means I'm gonna be doing something that I don't want to."
Revolutionary-Rip-40
"And it's always 'I was thinking we should...' There's no WE here, just come out and tell me what I will be doing."
BusterOfBuyMoria
Know your warning signs gents...
Anything else anyone would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Moms a sucker for a cute kid who is excited to see her, so the label stuck. She's been Nani for 20 years.
My dad LIVES for the moment when people ask why and he gets to talk about her butt - something he will honestly take any available opportunity to do. They've been together for 40 years and are still completely gross for each other and if my marriage ain't like that, then I don't want it.
Reddit user No-Hippo1283 asked:
"Parents of Reddit, what phrases do you still use that your kids 'invented' when they were young?"
Little kids inventing phrases and names for things and having the family just run with it is one of the best parts of having kids in the family!
Grandparent titles are just one way kids enrich the lexicon, but let's go ahead and start there since it's one of the most common.
What Do You Call Yours?
Abuelo Old Man GIF by CucoGiphy"Grandpa in Spanish is 'Abuelo' but my kid would always call my dad 'Olo.' "
"Thus we never refer to him as abuelo, only 'olo.' "
- ThatReaperGuy
"My mother would always greet my niece by saying 'Hello Darling.' "
"My niece couldn't pronounce darling, so she would reply to her 'Hello Wahwee' and then it sort of stuck. Now instead of Granny my mum gets 'Wahwee' by all the grandkids."
- _corbae_
"My grandpa has been 'Bumpa' for 20 years because one of my cousins couldn't pronounce grandpa right when he was like 3."
- 00zau
Drowsy
"My uncle says 'drowsy trousers' instead of 'pajama pants' because my little cousin was playing with rhymes and near-rhymes and came up with that phrase."
"He and I agree it sounds cooler."
- DBSeamZ
"Drowsy trousies 😉"
- beauxbeaux
A Moral Victory
Breakfast Burrito Cooking GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy"All of my relatives refer to breakfast burritos as ‘eggy weggy tacos’ which is a moral victory for four-year-old me."
- Cw2e
"Same kind of thing here."
"A fried egg on a bagel in any form is an 'eggel bagel' and French toast with syrup is 'sticky froast' while the same with powdered sugar is 'poofy froast.' "
"So on Saturday morning a perfectly normal thing to say is 'do you want your froast sticky or poofy?' "
- Alt_aholic
"Reminds me of 'peeber meeshmof' in my family."
"When I met my wife I asked if she's ever had a 'peeber meeshmof' and she's like 'wtf??' "
"I realized then that 'peeber meeshmof' might not actually be the name of the amazing sandwich I love. So I called my mom."
"She says one of us, she can't remember who, said 'peeber meeshmof' instead of 'peanut butter and marshmallow fluff' and it stuck. Now that's just what we call them."
- Nokomis34
Some Foreign Country
"My young son tried to ask my dad for an English muffin, but couldn’t remember what they were called. He knew it was something about another country or foreign or whatever."
"So he called them 'China Buns.' "
"We still call them that today and he’s 18."
- Chairish
Tea Time
thrive love & hip hop GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"My son, when he was little, commented that 'bathwater is just butt tea.' "
" 'Making butt tea' has meant taking a bath ever since."
- Dragoness42
"And I'm never going to take a bath again."
- Stoghra
Wanting A Poon
"I’m the child not the parent, but when I was learning to talk I used to say 'poon' instead of 'spoon.' My parents still use it to this day, saying sh*t like 'hand me a poon' or 'you want a poon for that?' "
"It never fails to make me uncomfortable because I know what 'poon' means these days but I’m not actually sure my parents do. & I’m not willing to correct them."
"They would absolutely mess with me about it if they realized, but they would be way more in my face about it if it they were actually doing it on purpose. Plus a family friend has made a joke about it & they just didn’t engage which they absolutely would have if they knew."
"They still joke about how I offered to help & 'cut the cheese' for a party when I was in elementary school, they are very obvious when they are messing with me, absolutely no subtlety."
"I really wish they knew & were f*cking with me so they would stop saying it around people that aren’t really close with us & probably think we’re all weird perverts when they hear it lmao"
"Plus, little do they know, I’m bisexual & do indeed want a poon."
- regular-kahuna
"My Nana asked the lovely young waitress at a cafe for 'a little poon please.' My husband and I nearly died laughing."
- LiquorishSunfish
Focus
"My brother was just learning how to sound out words and start to read. We were sitting in a McDonald’s eating when my dad points to a word up on the wall, and tells him to try and read it."
"He stared intently at it and slowly pronounced 'mac…nug…get!' "
"He was so focused, that he didn’t notice that he had tipped the little cup of ketchup he was holding and it had spilled all over his lap. So from then on, whenever anyone spilled food on their laps we say they 'pulled a McNugget.' ”
- WankSpanksoff
How You Become Jewish
K-Pop Daydream GIF by PENTAGONGiphy"When my son was in third grade near the Christmas holiday his teacher approached my wife (who volunteered at his school part time) and asked if we were Jewish."
"She replied no & was told that our son thought we were. When questioning my son why he told his teacher we were Jewish he said he wasn't paying attention when the teacher was going through the different religions asking the kids to raise their hands."
"So by the time he realized what was going on the only thing left was Jewish."
"Now our favorite saying anytime someone is not paying attention is 'That is how you become Jewish.' "
"His answer wouldn't have mattered anyway; he was raised Lutheran but we are not very religious."
- Driverwanted
Made Of Windows
"My son could never remember 'transparent' or 'see-through' so he called anything clear 'made of windows.' ”
"He wanted to put his puzzles in the box made of windows (Tupperware container), and wanted to drink out of the clear cup made from windows."
- sixthandelm
Let's Go The Other Way
"Going the opposite way, I sometimes use words my first-generation immigrant parents invented."
" 'Defrog' is what the button on the car dashboard with the wavy red lines does (defrost/thaw/de-fog?). And we sometimes got 'Kentucky Fried Kitchen.' "
- coilycat
"Haha, I do this with my immigrant parents too."
"My mom for some reason has trouble with the letter S at the beginning of words, and we still call smoothies 'moothies' to this day to poke fun at her."
- gentlemako
"I love this!"
"We do similar things in my house, since my husband is also an immigrant and non-native English speaker; he speaks 99.99% perfect, fluent English, but once in a while he'll just substitute the complete wrong word."
"My favorite was the time a jacked-up pickup truck passed us on the highway and he commented on its 'ridiculous suspenders' and it took me about 30 seconds to realize he meant suspension."
"But now all jacked-up trucks are 'suspender trucks,' obviously."
"He's also been known to accidentally switch languages when he's tired. I was beyond confused when he told me I'd look pretty with 'lint' in my hair."
"It took several minutes of synonym-charades to put together that he'd accidentally used the Afrikaans word (lint) rather than the English word (ribbon)."
"Cue recurring jokes about how we'd better save the dryer lint for wrapping Christmas presents, since it's so pretty."
- int3gr4te
Alright, now that you've gotten all of Reddits linguistic adorableness, it's your turn to share.
What words or phrases in your world exist thanks to kids?
Let's get our learn on, shall we?
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Seeking examples of this from strangers online, Redditor LilPeep1k asked:
"What phrase is a dead giveaway that the person talking is a piece of sh*t?"
Some people think recognition gives them permission for entitlement.
Familiarity
"Do you know who I am?"
"Also see: 'Do you know who my dad is?'"
– fuktardy
The Commercial Said It Best
"There was an old commercial with a student taking a proctored exam in a large classroom. He's late putting the exam on the proctor's desk and so the proctor won't accept his completed test. The student asks 'do you have any idea who I am?!' The proctor replies with 'no, you're late and I don't care who you are.'"
"The student grabs all the tests from the proctor's desk, adds his own to the pile and then shuffles them up and slaps the pile of tests on the desk. Makes eye contact with the proctor and replies 'good!' And then walks off."
"Since then I've always agreed this is the best way to use that line."
"Preemptive edit: pretty sure the commercial was for lottery tickets or something. It didn't really matter to the commercial. It was a long time ago I saw this commercial."
"Actual edit for the commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yA4aRrbKsH0"
– HasHooves
Having A Connection
"'I know the manager' or any other authority figure that they think gives them priority or power over others."
– sbgarbage
Condescending
"Let me explain this in a language you can understand."
– TH3Generate
A person passing the blame on exes is highly suspect.
Behind The Phrase
"'All my exes are crazy' is priming you to not talk to the exes so you don't find out the person is a jerk. What's the common denominator here?"
– Its_Curse
The Guilty Ones Leave A Trail
"If you complain about smelling sh*t everywhere you go, check the bottom of your shoes."
– everylittlepiece
The Origin Of Crazy
"Any guy i've met with a genuine crazy ex, they never flat out say 'oh my ex was f'king crazy.' they usually subtlety mention really f'ked up things they did that messed them up in the long run, or they just don't mention anything regarding the ex at all."
"And any guy i've met who INSTANTLY says 'my ex was f'king crazy' is always the reason why their ex was crazy."
– urbanlulu
Take All Of Me
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
– persistent_polymath
No Remorse
"'that was so long ago, stop bringing up the past'. If they haven't apologised for something and are demanding you move on and forgive them, that's a cowards way of saying they don't feel sorry for what they did and are blaming you for being hurt"
– TheNameless00
It's not a contest. But some people think otherwise and believe their problems are bigger than others'.
Deeper Trauma
“My trauma is worse than yours”
– Lukmin1999
Tendency To One-Up Others
"I have so much trouble with this. I have ASD and ADHD which makes social situations complicated, so when I’m trying to relate to someone I end up just one-upping their story. I’m only trying to show that I empathize. Example: someone says 'my parents used to neglect me' so I reply 'yeah, my mom beat us with wooden spoons.' What I mean to convey is 'I empathize with having bad parents' but it comes off as 'well MY parents were worse!'"
"Thankfully my social circle is small and hasn’t changed in awhile, so they all know me well enough to understand my intentions."
– YourEngineerMom
Denial
"Knew a person who was kicked out their home for persistent drug use. Lived with friends for awhile then eventually got their own flat. Rather than rising to the occasion considered to shoot themselves in the foot, binge drinking and drug use instead of paying bills. Then would complain and cry constantly asif they weren’t the root of all their own problems. God forbid if anyone brought up their problems as theirs was worse."
– sexymelonboi
Stealing The Spotlight
“You’ve ruined my day”
"When somebody else is upset for good reason."
– tritoon140
The Grinch
"My ex-wife played this card constantly. It became a family joke, 'Mom says we ruined her [insert holiday here].'"
– BuddyJim30
Let's Make It About Me
"'You're lucky you're not in my situation.' After just opening up about something."
– wormsonastrings
You're So Lucky
"Just be glad it isn't you!"
"In response to a family member being diagnosed with cancer and not having long to live..."
– SwiftBronzeCX
Another annoying phrase is when people say "it's just how I was raised" when they're being accused of an indiscretion.
So, it's okay to be racist just because your parents were?
Nice try, but I don't think so. I call BS.
What phrases signal to you that the other person is a total fake?
