People Break Down Which Words Or Phrases Are Red Flags When Meeting Someone
Reddit user theevilempire asked: 'What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?'
First impressions can be misleading, to the point of being dangerous.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice (whose original title was, in fact, First Impressions) the person who ends up being the love of your life might seem utterly loathsome upon a first meeting.
Even so, it's hard not to snap to judgment when meeting someone for the first time, particularly based on what they say.
Be it a difference in political or religious beliefs, or simply something shockingly rude or ignorant, all it can take is a few words or idioms to make us never want to see or hear from someone ever again.
"What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?"
Is It Even Love?
"'Tough love' often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start sh*t." -Reddit
That Could Be ONE Reason...
“'People don’t like me because I tell it like it is'.”- MassiveProductions
Taking Others Down Is No Way To Pick Yourself Up...
"If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person."- AnastasiaFrid
mean girls ugh GIFGiphyOr Just Brutal?
“I’m brutally honest”- -not-pennys-boat-
And That's A Problem Because...?
“You’re so quiet”- WearyPigeon
Not Everyone Likes Their Family...
"'We're a family here' in a work setting."
"Mother f*cker you just laid off 'cousin' Bill."- recoil669
Hbo Are We Doing This GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphyIf You Think It Might Cause Offense, Then Maybe Don't Say It?
“'No offense, but…', just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life."- lisathethrowaway
A Disability Should Never Be A Punch
“'I’m so bipolar' to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices."
"Or just to say to sound quirky."
"Really hate that."
"I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone."- PerplexedPoppy
Then Don't Cause Any!!!
"'I hate drama'."
"I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day."- Spodson
Drama Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyDefinitely Not Something To Brag About...
"Describes himself as an Alpha Male."
"Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's 'Banged'."
"Yeah, me and you gonna fall out soon buddy."- Johhnymaddog316
Should I?
"'Do you know who I am?'"- Brave_D*ck
A Handshake Is Always The Best Place To Start...
"Where’s my huuuuug?"
"Immediately no."- xPunkdaddy
Come Austin Powers GIFGiphyNever A Good Sign If They Always Need To Declare Who They Are...
"As an empath --"- paramidia
"Good vibes only and 'I’m such an empath'."- Blacklotusispunk
Where To Even Begin...?
"'Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?'"- Calligaster
lord of the rings no GIFGiphyThere's a reason our parents told us to choose our words carefully.
Sometimes the things people say can cause more pain and harm than physical violence of any kind.
Oh, the things people say.
Sometimes you wonder if people have the capability to think before they speak.
It's an especially thorny issue in relationships.
Redditor Human02211979 wanted men to share about the things they're over women saying, so they asked:
"What's a phrase men hate hearing from women?"
I don't dabble with the ladies.
I feel like I'm about to be glad about that.
Thoughts?
season 6 episode 24 GIFGiphy“'Do you know why I pulled you over?'”
WHEENC
"It depends on how long you were following me."
ersomething
Just Pick!
"The food thing."
"'I'm not hungry or you pick... but not there not there not there not there or there.'"
"It's one of the most widely joked about relationship tropes... but it has to be one of the truest. I watched two married friends this weekend almost lose it over this lol."
HotelRwandaBeef
"Frustrating for anyone in a relationship whose partner does this. I'm a woman and my male fiancée can't make a decision about food to save his life, almost literally. If you put him in a room with his 2 favorite foods and told him he can't eat until he chooses one, he would starve to death. It makes me freaking crazy."
forestfairygremlin
Not Good Enough
“'They couldn’t handle me.'”
"Relationships are about building each other up, not constantly having to deal with the other person’s attitude or poor behavior/mental health. This is not as much of a flex as a lot of people think it is and raises major red flags for me."
OreoKing10
"Dude this is so true, God *amn its true. These type of girls who say that are ONLY trouble and have no insight to why they act like they do. Its mental."
TheZwoop
“nothing”
"'How can you not think anything, you must be hiding something.'"
SuvenPan
"I mean sometimes it’s nothing but most of the time 'nothing' is just a random situation that makes no sense that I’m thinking of in my mind. I don’t know why I’m trying to think which animal would be the best drift racer and I don’t know where to start explaining the thought process behind it or how I even got there."
ThePowerPoint
Say Nothing
quiet tim and eric GIFGiphy"'Do you like my friend?' Because it always ends up in an argument either way."
nothinglasts21
Oh that is a dangerous setup.
It's a Trap
the office no GIFGiphy"'Tell me what you are thinking. Do I look fat? Be honest.'"
illini02“
"'As a modern woman, you do not need a man to validate your self-image. Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself whether or not you look fat.'"
Jedi_Master_Baggins
Start Over
"Are you even listening to me, and I think to myself what a weird way to start a conversation."
bigfish3636
"I sometimes forget that whenever my boyfriend is doing something like reading the paper, I have to get his attention BEFORE I start talking. Often ends in me talking for a minute before noticing an all too familiar blank stare on his face which prompts the question 'did you get any of that?' and then he repeats the last three words in an unsure cadence. Then I start from the beginning, lol."
shadythrowaway9
Nonsense
“'How are you still single, you’re a great guy?' Hear it a bunch from some women friends of mine. I always just brush it off but kinda stings a bit more each time."
AverageJames
"I lived in a big house with lots of roommates. We had this big vent one night. We were going to go bar hopping but all the girls vented about how often they were bothered and hit on at bars. How they needed to go in groups to feel safe. And they never could go to just have fun with each other."
"2 weeks later I mentioned how frustrating dating can be at group dinner. There was a communal laugh about how easy it was. 'Literally just go to any bar.'"
DigNitty
Not my Owner
"Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn’t do this but don’t ever say you 'trained' your boyfriend or even friend to do something. Friendships and relationships are a great way to have a different perspective and take things on in different ways. To say you trained your friend or boyfriend is incredibly dehumanizing and makes you seem incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Plus, you didn’t 'train' your boyfriend to use conditioner, you just made him realize that even though he doesn’t think it’s significant in his value system, it isn’t worth the fact you keep bugging him about it."
DuncanRobinson4MVP
Oh Lord
Come On Man GIF by IdentityGiphy"'I was thinking...'"
"Whenever my wife says that means I'm gonna be doing something that I don't want to."
Revolutionary-Rip-40
"And it's always 'I was thinking we should...' There's no WE here, just come out and tell me what I will be doing."
BusterOfBuyMoria
Know your warning signs gents...
Anything else anyone would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Sometimes adulting is incredibly hard, especially when we're going through a trying time or are struggling with our health or mental health.
These pieces of advice may seem simple on the surface, but especially during the hard times, they could create a meaningful change for someone.
Redditor TheSensibleTurtle asked:
"What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?"
Firm Boundaries
"It came from Reddit, funnily enough."
"'Set limits for what you’re prepared to give, because people who take don’t have limits for how much they’re prepared to take.'"
"I’ve definitely applied it to my life. Unfortunately, there are several people I know who have yet to apply it to theirs."
- RedWestern
Lending Money
"Never lend money you can't afford to ever see again. Also, loan money with the expectation that you're never going to see it again."
- levitatingloser
Closest Company
"The single most important decision you will make in life is your partner."
- bemest
Know What You Want
"If it's not a clear yes, then it's a no."
- hiraeth_99
Not Forever
"Nothing is permanent. Jobs, relationships, good times, and bad times."
"Something I say to myself when making big decisions."
- Real_Bridge_5440
Relationship Goals
"In relationships: It's not you and your significant other against each other. It's both of you against the problem."
- MaxRptz
Time After Time
"A very rich friend of mine told me that he can buy or access almost anything at this stage of his life, except time. Make the most of every moment."
- phalangepatella
Drink Your Water
"Drink water."
"I had a friend's mom down my childhood street that insisted this was the curative agent for all that ailed you. And most of the time, she was not wrong."
"Indigestion? Water. Constipated? One tall glass of water every hour at least. Headache? Water."
"Her kid got the flu and his mom was like, 'I'm not taking him to the doctor. What are they gonna do? Tell him to drink water and eat food? I'm not paying 20 bucks and waiting an hour to hear that."
- elementaryfrequency9
Gossip Goes Both Ways
"People who gossip about others to you, gossip about you to others."
- CommunicationNo5292
Communication Is Key
"You have the right to tell someone how they make you feel."
- RockyMtnOysterCo
Be Prepared
"Never attempt to fix a plumbing problem when the hardware store is closed."
"It was from my dad. I am pretty sure that he learned it the hard way!"
- tg1024
You Are Worth More
"Your job doesn't define you."
- vander_blanc
No Self-Sacrifice
"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
- Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Financial Perspective
"If you can just barely afford a house then you can’t afford it really. Something for new homeowners to bear in mind."
"Have some friends that bought a very expensive house. They used every bit of what they were able to be loaned. They now work just to be able to live in the house. Tried to tell them that if the majority of their income goes to the mortgage, then they can't afford the house."
- Effurlife13
Be Happy
“'Just do the things that make you happy and don’t do the things that don’t make you happy.'"
"From an ex-boyfriend who said this to me years ago. It’s so simple but kind of blew my anxious little self’s mind."
- Dizzy-Worldliness-20
Don't Listen to Them
"'Don’t take criticisms from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.'"
"I suffer from insecurities and have had people make some horrendous comments to me in my life. Someone once told me the above quote and it made something click in my head. From then on, things have been a h**l of a lot better."
- FluffyDaedra
While some of these tips appear resoundingly simple, they could be a real life-changer if put into practice.
Don't you love using naughty words and phrases?
It's like an addiction sometimes.
Especially when you're learning new and inventive ways to utilize them.
So many options...
RedditorGuildernstern87 wanted to hear about all the ways to be creative when in shock.
"What is your favorite variation of the saying 'What the f**k?'"
I love using naughty words in subtle or over the top ways. Tell me...
No Way
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Ain’t no f**king way."
evinti01
"This deserves top comment!!"
Commercial_Ad4451
Lyrics
"I'm a fan of 'what in tarnation?' and'"what f**kery is this?'"
kittyclawz
"'What kind of f**kery is this?' Remains one of the best opening lyrics to a song that I can think of."
Sidewalk_Tomato
"Same.I also like to throw in a 'what the heckerooni' or 'what in the ding dang damnable f**k' every now and again to keep things spicy."
murrimabutterfly
Doth tell us...
"Pardon me, my good *itch. What seems to be the f**k?"
Gaybythebay01
"I'm stealing this."
Overall_Use381
"That's just it, sire, it appears we are bereft of f**ks. Throughout thy kingdom, there is nary a f**k to be given nor had."
timmyisserpico
VOT?
"I remember one of the times I really laughed at a post was when an article years back announced a Call of Duty game download would something like 50-60 GB and someone replied with a photoshopped picture of Hitler raising his sunglasses and saying 'VOT ZE F**K!'"
NoStressAccount
Proper
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"What fresh hell is this?"
SeasonedWithCare
"Dorothy Parker in the house!!!!!"
chillin1066
Fresh Hell. I've been using that one.
Sporty
Big Bang Theory Team GIFGiphy"What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?"
SteveBonus
A Gassy Response
"My kid will say either What the What or What the Fart. He's 11 so we are hearing a lot of the fart variation right now."
FishWife_71
"I, a grown man, am still fond of 'What in Fart's name?' Yes, I do take Fart's name in vain."
DeathbyChiasmus
"When we were kids we said, nowhere near parental units, mother fuzz-farter! Still fun to say."
Baller5511
Oh La La
"In Quebec we say, 'Qu'est-ce que f**k?' to give it that European flair. Also it's funny as hell. Go ahead, say it out loud."
iceTreamTruck
"Must be relatively new. Lived there for 23 years but moved away in 2009 and never heard 'qu’est-ce que fuck.'"
HLef
"Maybe it’s more of an Ontario thing? Also, I know I’ve only heard it among anglophones."
iceTreamTruck
Hunger
"I like adding unrelated qualifiers such as What the Kentucky fried f**k, or What the biscuit eating f**k. It adds a little extra zing to the emotional expression while also confusing your enemies for a moment while they attempt to decide just exactly what a biscuit eating f**k is."
cawatxcamt
through a radio...
"Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!"
BrownButterBiscuits
"If I'm ever going to talk through a radio I will use it. Lol."
Dr_Cindebar
"We’ve gone tango uniform!"
Constant_Ad_2775
VILE!
"What the deuce?"
Tonald_Drump83837
"Damn you vile woman!"
Reasonable-Shock-600
"YOU'RE EATING HAIR!!!"
RL_Meeseeks
STUNNED
Nbc GIF by The VoiceGiphy"I stand here befu*kled."
ryanosaurusrex1I
"I'm stealing this."
Kooky-Statistician92
Oh Kell...
"I'm a fan of the cereal related ones, 'What in the cinnamon toast f**k?' And 'What in the Kellogg's frosted f**k?'"
velkus
"I'm also a fan and stealing the Kelloggs one, for sure!"
LikeInnit
Oh God
"My go to is 'what in the bluest of all f**ks?' but I also use 'What on God's beautiful blue green Earth?"
carefulamdelicate
"I thought I was alone with 'what the blue f**k?'"
bearcat-twenty-two
"Great minds, friend. Great minds."
carefulamdelicate
She Funny
Cracking Up Lol GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I picked up my niece once (3 at the time) and she looked me square in the face and said, 'What the thwack?' I almost dropped her I was laughing so hard!"
SugarsBoogers
Yummy F
"This is one I've made up and been using:"
"What the actual, chocolate-covered f**k?"
"Don't ask. I don't know how I strung those all together either."
JukeBoxHero1997
Oy!
ewan mcgregor trainspotting GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy“'What’s all this, then?'”
"In the worst cockney accent."
added_chaos
Following
"The phrases are all so milked and trendy. Like potty mouth emphasizes anything other than what a mouth breathing follower you are."
Cliffs-At-G
I love all of these and I will implement immediately.
I use the word 'literally' like, literally, all the time.
Am I a professional writer who understands that the repetition can lose some readers? Yes.
Am I educated and fully aware of the definition of the word "literally" and the fact that I almost never actually mean "literally" when I say literally? Also, yes.
Do I know it annoys some people? Also, also yes.
Am I going to stop doing it any time soon? ... ... ... I'll take that into careful consideration.
Reddit user matchless2 asked:
"What is a word that people need to stop overusing?"
So here's a whole article full of people who probably literally hate me. (hehehe)
Let's Just Start With The Obvious
"Literally."
- rs_yay
"I saw an ad for a meal kit service that said something like, 'My husband loved the salmon so much it literally killed him!' ”
"RIP husband."
- madamguacamole
"High school teacher here. Sooooo many kids use this every other sentence and don’t even understand the meaning. It’s annoying, to say the least."
- NorwegianMuse
"I was kind of irritated by 'literally' being used figuratively for a while, but then I found out that 'fantastic' used to mean something literally from fantasy."
"It would have been just as wrong to say 'that’s fantastic' if you weren’t talking about a dragon or something."
"Now when I hear it I just think 'language be like that sometimes.' ”
- TheRiverTwice
"I'm literally part of the problem... I let it slip into my vernacular and I can't stop 😩"
- Conscious_Camel4830
GiphyDefine "Influence"
"Influencer."
- B0J0L0
"Influencer cracks me up sometimes."
"Like the other day when someone tried trolling me by calling me an influencer. Ironically at the time he would have been the only person that I had influenced AND he had misread me anyway."
"Are that many people really influenced by 'influencers?' Wasn't the tag snake oil salesman descriptive enough?"
- Justthisguy_yaknow
"They do influence, just negatively."
- real_MainDepth
"Truly a word that has lost any positive connotation to it."
- floweytheflo
There's Usually A Precedent
"Unprecedented."
- stupidmacaroni
"I would like to upvote this comment a million times. I flinch when I hear this word now."
- Lexjude
"The amount of times unprecedented has been used is unprecedented."
- Funktastic34
"Holy hell I hate this word, even reading it makes me angry."
- popcorntongue
"Same. Everyone on TV was using it, 'these unprecedented times, these uncertain times.' "
"JUST CALL IT THE PANDEMIC BRUH."
- stupidmacaroni
"Unless they say it is 'literally unprecedented.' Then you know they’re being for realsies. Because literally."
- GoodAsUsual
Gaslighting Is A Specific Thing
"Gaslighting isn't just another word for lying, it's a specific method of manipulation that involves making a person question their own perception of reality. It doesn't even require lying."
- CupcakeValkyrie
"And gaslighting is purposeful. The abuser is intentionally making you question your reality."
- hoyaheadRN
"It also doesn't just mean that someone is being stubborn or obstinate. If someone unreasonably or irrationally disagrees with you they aren't necessarily gaslighting you."
- 05110909
GiphyNot Neat
"OCD, without actually having OCD."
- nepenthe17
" 'I like putting my dishes away after I wash them, but I'm just OCD like that.' "
- ostentatiousbro
"This is one of my pet peeves."
"My ex mother in law had OCD and it wasn’t about being neat and keeping the cushions straight or lining things up right. It was a debilitating belief that if she didn’t do certain things, that bad things would happen."
- Tendontearer
"I've met people with genuine OCD."
"They don't care about tiles being ill-aligned. They're touching the doorknob in the exact same spot for 37 times to stop something horrible from happening."
- UnoriginalUse
A Versus Anti
"Anti-social."
"Preferring to be alone is to be asocial. Psychopaths are anti-social."
- andbingowashishomo
"Just explained this to my landlord today."
"I am Asocial. A."
"A! Not anti!"
"I am not going to poison your dogs for sure."
- Critical_Macaroon_15
"I’ve been saying this for years, but at this point I feel like it’s one of those situations where the language has evolved."
"I’ve literally never heard anyone say 'asocial', despite it being correct. And I feel like I rarely hear 'anti-social' used to describe actual anti-social behavior. It’s far more often used incorrectly."
- imaginaryblues
War
"War."
"We’ve got a war against nearly everything. It waters down the tragedy of real war."
"Such as: We’ve got a struggle against obesity, not a war. I’m not near as scared of being in the middle of a bunch of fat people as I am of being in the middle of a real war."
- traws06
"I’m not sure how common this is outside the US, but a few years ago (it’s still sort of around now, but its real heyday was almost a decade ago), the phrase 'War on Christmas' was all the rage."
"The inciting attacks of this conflict? Starbucks changed the design on their cups, more people embraced the phrase 'Happy Holidays', and schools changed 'Christmas break' to 'Winter Break'."
"Because of that, people started protesting by either boycotting Starbucks or ordering under the name 'Merry Christmas,' discussions were had on the news, and at least two full-length movies were made about this new 'threat' to our way of life: 'Christmas with a Capital C' in 2010, and 'Last Ounce of Courage' in 2012."
- Aegis_et_Vanir
Giphy-Gate
"Anything -Gate"
"PizzaGate, Bountygate, now SlapGate.. plus 12 million others I’m forgetting."
- Xennial_Potato
"I will make an exception if Matt Gaetz is involved in a scandal, especially involving a fence."
- Dexaan
"I support calling the allegations against him PizzaGaetz, but agree that '-gate' in general needs to stop. I actually wonder if people think '-gate' is somehow synonymous with 'scandal.' ”
- NC_Goonie
Something To Be Solved
“Problematic.”
"The word is supposed to connote that something is difficult to resolve or decide, as in a problem to be solved."
"It was used to point out that ideas needed more debate because questions were left unanswered, or apparent contradictions were unresolved. It was a word needed more in academia than in daily discussion."
"Now it often seems to mean something along the lines of 'I do not like this person or their beliefs'."
- TradeDeadline
Sports
“Adversity when in the context of sports."
"For instance, if a football team loses two games in a row and wins the third the Coach goes on TV and says 'this team knows how to pull through adversity' and I roll my eyes every time."
"That's not adversity. That's sports."
- Upstairs-Try6583
GiphyI know you read through this list with more examples popping into your head the whole way through.
So tell us what they were!
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