Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Redditor sugar-soad wanted to know how everyone would choose between a lover and a fur baby, so they asked:
"People who were made to choose between your pet or your partner, how did your ex react when you chose your pet?"
One of my exes wanted me to return my dog to the pound.
Notice I said... EX?
The love
cat dog GIFGiphy"It really baffles me how some people don't understand how much a pet can mean to someone, I remember one of my dogs dying overnight before a school day at secondary school and my teacher mouthed off to the class about me taking a day off for a pet's death."
ff-at-15
The Kicker
"This was a long time ago but I just started dating this person and I was told they hated my dog, it was a bit of a shock but I was like no biggie just get to know my dog and you will fall in love with him."
"So the next time, we had a doggie date and HE TRIED TO KICK MY DOG. I literally grabbed my dog and turned around and walked away. And that was that!!!"
clarkyto
Screw This
"This is my favorite story from when I worked in a shelter. A guy came in to surrender his cat, with the reason that his girlfriend didn't like her. He starts filling out the paperwork, but partway through he just stops and says, 'Screw this. I'm just going to break up with her instead.' He picks up the cat and walks out the door, presumably to leave his GF. I hope he stuck to it and he and his cat got a happy ending."
hoomphree
Happy Ending
"Not directly relevant, but we once took in a dog, whose human was asked to make this choice. Beautiful weimaraner. The guy brought the dog out to our house (on a hill in the woods with acres to roam - dogs absolutely love it out here - and we spent some time walking around letting the dog get used to the place and meet our other furry residents."
"We could tell it was really hard on both of them when he left."
"The next day he kicked the woman out, and came back for the dog. Happy ending all around, I'd say."
Wildcatb
Momentos
Dog What GIF by Best Friends Animal SocietyGiphy"Not my story but my friend. His GF forced him to choose between her or dog but that dog was remaining memento from his deceased mother and of course he instantly dumped his GF. His GF went from facefull with expectations to beet red full of shame and anger and smashed his house windows when she left his house."
Manfroo1
Never asked for someone to make choice between a person and a pet.
Living Longer
Cats Reaction GIF by TikTok MENAGiphy"I remember him saying my diabetic cat needed to go so he could get a dog. We weren't even living together. I looked him dead in the eyes and said. 'My cat will outlive this relationship' considering she was really sick at the time he said it was unlikely and stormed off. We broke up 6 years ago and my cat is still going strong."
buffalosansbuffalo
The Elderly
"I have an elderly rat (going on four years, which is quite the feat for a rat). I’ve raised him since he was a baby with his brother, who passed away two winters ago. When we moved in with my in-laws over the summer, they didn’t want me to bring my rat. I straight up told my partner that I’ll live somewhere else for awhile (we’d been living together for almost three years at that point) because my rat is my responsibility."
"He’s very old, and that I was going to see him through to the end. They were a little upset and accused me of choosing the rat over them, but I explained that he’s an animal that relies on us. It worked out, I convinced my in-laws to let me bring him, and we’re all still kickin. He’s on his last days and I’m glad I’m here with him. He’ll be buried with his brother when it’s time."
queerqunari
Meow First
"She acted like she'd never even considered I'd choose the cat over her. I don't think that thought had ever entered her mind. Then she went into a big spiel about how I'm a loser, I'm missing out, there's only one of her, etc etc. Yeah, I knew all that when I put my foot down over her idiotic jealousy of the cat liking me more than her."
"The cat is now 16 and still with me, happy in her senior years. There's been other women since her, ones that treated me a lot better than she did. It was a total win for both the cat and myself."
Fancy_Cassowary
“Dirty fleabag”
"Not me but my sister choose our cat over her boyfriend of 4 months. He was furious when she dumped him and called her an idiot for picking a 'dirty fleabag' over him. Cat was not a dirty fleabag, he just hated pets and wanted to try to control my sister. I was relieved when she dumped him. I never got good vibes from him."
Aurora_Jones
BYE
White Dog GIFGiphy"My ex asked me if she thought my dog liked me or her more and I said me. She got genuinely mad and told me I am supposed to just lie to her, didn't last long."
wumbology34
Pets will always win.
Have you ever had to make a similar choice? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor shoonpo was curious to hear the funniest cases of inadvertent pet conditioning, leading them to ask:
"What have you accidentally conditioned your pet to do?"
We've All Got Our Dirty Laundry...
"Bring me dirty laundry."
"One day my cat brought me a sock and it was so cute so I petted him and praised him."
"That started a cycle of it and now he’s constantly bringing dirty laundry to me."- ijflwe42
The Bell Tolls...
"Upon hearing the Windows 7 sonata log-off sound, she jumps up and starts running around the room since I always locked my computer before leaving."
"And when I'm leaving, that usually means she's going to daycare, i.e. my Mom's house."
"It's been 3 or so years since I switched to Windows 10, but just playing the sound on YouTube still gets a reaction out of her."- TheMidnightScorpion
They Know What's Coming...
"Fear rubber gloves."
"We live in a place with lots of fleas and ticks so we goo them every month."
"I figure the stuff goes through cat skin readily so it'll probably go through mine, so I use surgical gloves."
"Whenever I pull out the box, the smarter of our two immediately bolts for the deepest recesses of the the house."
"The dumber one just looks at me even though he finds the process distasteful too."- Kevin_Uxbridge
Shocked Scaredy Cat GIF by TikTokGiphyLife On The Farm
"I accidentally made it so when you whistle 'this is the song that never ends', frequently stuck in my and my SOs head, the cows come running for grain."
"If i don't have grain I get mooed at until i go get some."
"The chickens know that I get excited about eggs and when they lay, they get the good scratch and will sometimes wait until I'm in the barn, squawk and lay an egg in front of me."
"If the cat is thirsty, he will knock over every drink container/cup he finds while meowing and then pitifully throw himself in front of me pretending to die."
"He started doing that after i faked my death for a Dr pepper that my SO was holding."
"Terrible animals."- witchyage
Come On, You Know You Want To...
"The budgie had a broken leg in a little splint."
"He would climb to the roof of his cage with just his beak and good leg, then let go of his beak and hang by one leg then just stare at me."
"He knew I would stick my hand in and he could just fall off into my hand."
"He only did this when I was around because I was the only one who would stick my hand in."- spaceship4parakeet
Party!!!
"Changing the sheets on the bed means play time."
"My cat likes to sit on the bed as I throw on the sheets likes that rainbow parachute elementary game."
"She tries to attack my hand if I straighten the edges while she's there too."- unoriginal_or_sumin
Do I Need To Spell It Out?!?
"My wife and I have pretty set sleep schedules during the week."
"If we stay up later on the weekend or w/e, our dog gets VERY huffy/offended and will sigh passive-aggressively at us until we go upstairs to bed."
"Oh, and if one of his bowls is empty he licks it, also passive-aggressively, and then makes direct eye contact."- FretfulMemo7
Food.Now.
"My tortoise stands on my foot when he is hungry."- LizardPossum
Say Cheese!!!
"My dogs know the sound of the drawer the cheese is kept in the fridge."
"They could be asleep in a completely different area, but if you open the cheese drawer they come running and sit like good boys for their cheese."
"They are herding dogs and will also herd the cat away if she won't stop meowing at me when I'm busy or if she tries to scratch anything."- Meggs8bacon
Friends Dogs GIF by MOODMANGiphyIce Ice Baby!
"My dog knew he would always get some ice to chew when I went to the fridge so any time he heard the ice machine on the fridge start he would come running in."
"Once he became deaf he would feel the vibrations in the floor from it and knew it was ice time!"- tstock415
It's easy to see how pets associate certain actions with certain things.
And they'll only become more attuned to certain behavior the more they get to know you.
Forcing us to be much more careful about what we say and do while our pets are watching.
You think your dog isn't judging you when you reach for your third beer?
Think again...
Curious to hear of unforgivable pet names from those who work with animals, Redditor Lia_Julee asked:
"Vets of Reddit, What was the worst pet name you have ever encountered in your job?"
They're choices, but not necessarily the right ones. What were they thinking? We'll never know.
Return To Sender
"Envelope"
– Mskorn85
"Actually, Darren, it's pronounced En-vel-oh-pee"
– Lilzhazskillz
Bad Mashup
"I’m deeply involved in the horse world. There’s a 'discipline' called halter, and many of the horses are genetic atrocities to begin with. They’ve been bred to the point of uselessness."
"When naming quarter horses, many breeders like to create a registered name that incorporates the parents’ names and bloodlines. So, somebody bred together the stallion Kid’s Classic Style and the mare Lookin’ Touchable. The best name that the breeders could come up with for the foal?"
"KidsLookinTouchable."
"Yeah. That’s the best they could come up with."
– ModernPlagueDoctor
Winning Asset
"Old neighbor lady had a cat named 'face.'”
"because it had a beautiful face, she said."
– praisethehaze
What About The Dressing?
"My brother in law named his cat Salad."
– LeagueIllustrious
Poor Doggo
"My old neighbors apparently thought it would be a good idea to let their 3 year old name their dog."
"The dog was named dump truck."
– [deleted]
Here's a name that just left Redditors scratching their heads.
Sensual Misfire
"Sexy - for a chihuahua. Just made the whole consultation very awkward."
– prouvairee
Expected One-Liners
"If you could just lift Sexy up here please, thank you."
"Now I might need your help to hold Sexy down."
"I'm going to put this in your butt Sexy but I'll be quick."
– Opening-Thought-5736
The Followup Appointment
"Yes, but will you bring sexy back?"
– ermahgerdshoez
These examples say a lot about the pet owners.
There Are Worse Things Than Just Names
"Mom owns a vet practice so had a lot of these."
"Best/worse pet parents named their cat D.O.G. and their dog C.A.T."
"James Bond was my favorite doggy (Pekinese). He was hilarious."
"There were so many Mittens, Fluffys, Spots and Buddy's they got lost in the sea of animals."
"Worst story was a rescued golden retriever who was so malnourished they nick named him Pancake. Sadly, Pancake's kidneys were done so he dies 2 days after he was rescued by the local animal control. The two days I got to feed and spend time with him made it all the harder to realize he could have been saved if his family had let him go instead of leaving him chained up in the yard before they left."
"I hate people a lot of the time."
– AzureaWinds
Jokester
"I used to work at a pallet repair yard and a bloke had the last name Pallet. Initial A."
"A. Pallet."
"Funny as f'k when delivery drivers asked him for his name to sign the delivery note."
– Jaster_Rogue
Sure, many of these are hilariously absurd.
But the poor, poor animals are the ones not laughing, right, "Sexy?"
"What has your pet accidentally conditioned you to do?"
They Know When Their Water Isn't Fresh
"Change the water in her bowl."
"It can be all the way to the top and she’ll stand there staring at it until I take the bowl, dump it, and refill it with fresh water."- bippityboppityhyeem
No More Chance Of The Mailbox Getting Full.
"Check the mail every day."
"He's so excited to walk to the mailbox with me it reminds me to actually do it."- cap_blueberry
Can' t Squash Them!
"Sleep with my legs a cat-length apart."
"She likes to sleep in between them."- zool714
cat sleeps GIFGiphyAlways Leave Some For A Doggy Bag
"Before I run in the morning I usually scarf down a banana."
"Ever since we got my sweet dog, I scarf down about two thirds of my banana and he gets the last part."
"It’s become our little thing, an unspoken agreement."- oksandwiches
Just Can't Get Them Out Of Their Heads...
"Weaving his name into any song I can for no reason whatsoever."- jasonwilczak
No Need For An Alarm Clock
"To press on my bladder to wake me up early so they could eat early."
"Living lots of food by night didn't solve it."- IseultDarcy
Wake Up Cat GIFGiphyNewfound Expectaions
"Two things."
"My dog Rusty always puts his front paws on me and I always hugged him so now when he’s anxious he’ll give me a hug and I’ll hug him back."
"The other one is when I get ice he always begs for one so now without thinking I always toss him an ice cube."- Kenivider
Always There For You
"Calm down when I start to lose my temper or get frustrated."
"Whenever he hears me sigh or swear, he runs to me, rests his chin on my arm or leg and looks up at me with concern."
"This has made me so aware of how my energy can impact those around me and I have really gotten my anger under control since he started doing this."
"He's one of the goodest boys and I am grateful for him every day."- The_Atlas_Moth
Go Deep!
"I have a cat that plays fetch, very insistently."
"She brings me her toy mouse, and if I don't throw it for her, she sits on my laptop keyboard."
"Of course this all started when I would throw the mouse to keep her from sitting on my laptop."- Mortambulist
fetch guru studio GIF by True and the Rainbow KingdomGiphyUnplanned Eating Schedule
"My mother's dog tells her when it's time for her evening meal."
"As in my mother's evening meal."
"The dog knows she eats after my mother, so when she starts to get peckish she goes and bugs her to start cooking."
"When I go back to visit, we'll be sitting chatting and the dog will sidle in and become a presence in the room for maybe 30 seconds until my mother casually looks at her watch and says 'I suppose we better think about eating'."
"She's completely unaware of what triggers her decision."- prolixia
The benefits of owning a pet are too many to name.
As you might find your diet, fitness and cleanliness drastically improve without any real effort on your part.
And the evening cuddles don't hurt either.