"What is a tell tale sign that someone is a selfish person?"
"You Had It Bad, Well I Had It Worse..."
"When anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with."
"'I know your mom died a month ago but my best friend of 3 years died too so I don't see why you are so sad all of the time'."
"I think narcissism and selfishness go hand-in-hand so there you go."- AJM5K6
"They respond how worse their situation is when you’re sharing your problems with them."
"No try for help or listening, just trying to draw attention on their side."- seyfgs
"When every single bad thing that happens to another person gets spun around into their personal problem eg I'm really upset because my friend family member is going through."- Purrminator1974
Drama Queen GIF by Radiotelevisione svizzera (RSI)GiphySorry? I Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word...
"They feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others."- avidhiker96150
"I'm Always Right!"
"Doesn’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit."
"They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility."- No_Key_6276
No Need To Thank Me, Because I Won't Thank You...
"They don't remember the times people helped them, but remember clearly all the times they have helped others."- GoodMerlinpeen
sexy youre welcome GIF by SatisfactionGiphyLive To Freeload!
"They bring nothing to the potluck but are first in line."- TRIGMILLION
Quid Pro NO!!!
"They gladly take any favors you do for them, but when asked if they could reciprocate once, they get defensive and or aggressive and act like you're the selfish one for daring to expect something in return."
"It doesn’t make you a bad person to expect reciprocation in a relationship with someone else, romantic or platonic."
"Relationships are give and take and that makes them healthy."
"It's not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness."
"If you're the only one giving, you're being taken advantage of."
"I'm not talking about narcissism and manipulation, I'm talking about the natural give and take in a relationship."
"It is not manipulative to expect certain things out of a relationship (depending on what kind of relationship it is)."
"The whole reason we make relationships is because they give us something - whether that be support, love, safety, or other advantages."
"It isn't a bad thing, it's a human thing."
"Typically, with give and take, if you notice a pattern of one person consistently taking without giving, the one taking is the problem, not the one giving."
"The kind of people who use this as a manipulation tactic aren't the ones who stick around in a relationship for years, doing favors and kind things without being asked to."
"They're more likely to do one favor and demand twice as much in return."
"Why do I know this? I've had these people in my life, which is what gave me the realization I commented above."- random-shit-writing
Season 4 Question GIF by 9-1-1 on FOXGiphy"I'll Never Forgive You!"
"Every bad thing you do to them is drama-worthy."
"Every bad thing they do to you are details and should be moved on from, and why can't you just do that? You're so dramatic!"- Pasdusername
"If I Could Just But In..."
"If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is saying generally to brag about themselves with a 'one-upper' story, is generally a precursor to stop associating with them."
"I've met too many of them in my days and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises."- Philay_shio
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think About Me?
"If they always talk about themselves."- Effective-Craft-1173
"They have that superpower to lead everything back to themselves."
"Even when you're actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic."- Anskin12
Look At Me Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy"Ugh, Work Is So Boring... Can You Do It For Me?"
"Complaining at work to coworkers doing your work for you while you complain."- Minimum-Tea-9258
Perhaps the most frustrating thing about dealing with a selfish person, is getting through to them about changing their behavior is probably a no-go.
For they'll be too self-absorbed to ever think they were doing anything wrong.
Redditor mountcoffee wanted everyone to discuss how we decipher the people are awful, so they asked:
"What are your minor red flags that you use see as a subtle but very indicative sign the other person is an a**hole?"
I give too many people the benefit of the doubt.
I need to discuss more red flags.
Nothing
Awkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them."
BRS023
"Major red flag, and it’s easy to tell if you get them out of a professional environment."
bowtrout
We make mistakes
"Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me."
Taiyo_K
"Well, there can be layers to it. My kids struggle mightily to ever admit fault and just apologize to each other when they’ve done something wrong. They think there’s some huge shame involved and for some reason it’s tough to shake them of that. Really, it’s the easiest thing in the world to say you’re sorry and move on, and they’re only slowly getting that."
Mikesaidit36
Repairs
"When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc. people who have a capacity for self-reflection and owning their mistakes tell stories where they’re a**holes. Further, they’re able to talk about what they’d do differently or what they’ve learned, and how they took steps to repair the relationships. Never being at fault, always being the victim, and not taking responsibility for repair are huge red flags."
MrsDarcy1983
Talk Crap
"When they talk crap behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that."
EchoSpecial87
"I used to be in a group chat with a bunch of people who did exactly this at least once a week,. I genuinely believe a lot of people who use said fakea** sticky sweet personalities are doing it to soften the blow if someone actually has a problem with em. Because they think 'Ooooh but they're so nice! this is just a minor blemish on a really kind person' to someone who would throw them in the car crusher because their ac was too loud."
TheRockingGoomba
Guys and girls... you're all a mess...
The Company
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"What their friends are also like and how they interact with others/other people."
nazeem_ihateyou
Be Nice
"The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions."
"HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior."
AnybodySeeMyKeys
Talk to me...
"I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them."
DonJuanDingdong
"Some people forget that a conversation is a two way street."
Pass_the_Lasagna
The Game
romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy"In an office environment, overly kissing all the managers a**es so they'll let them cut corners all the while calling other people out on minor things. They know how the game works."
psycharious
Slammed!
"When they know someone is behind them, but don't hold the door open. Just let it slam. Or don't say please & thanks to service workers. I understand sometimes missing the opportunity, but when it is consistent, I have been known to say something."
PokerQuilter
Look for the signs... they are there.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.
And the opportunity for strangers online to unburden themselves arose when Redditor _Lord_Infamous asked:
"What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?"
Certain facts about these Redditors are perplexing.
Blank Space
"I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me."
"There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of."
– Cendruex
Dead Or Alive
"I’m convinced with no evidence that my father is still alive and that my whole family is lying to me. I logically know he is not. But every knock on the door I open half expecting my father. Could be something to work through … but it’s not really affecting me day to day. My grandfather died and I thought I would feel the same way. Nope. He is dead and I miss him but he is dead."
– rkspm
Warning: Self-Harm Trigger
"Growing up I had a recurring nightmare set in my grandparents backyard looking at the back of their house. There was just something 'off' about the house. Something mildly sinister. I dreamt this over and over, many times over the years."
"In 2018, my dad (who now owned the house) went into the backyard to that spot and killed himself."
"I haven’t had the backyard dream since."
– OSUJillyBean
Nightmares Come True
"I had a recurring super vivid intense dream at like 4.... my uncle was chasing us around a labyrinth with a large knife... trying to kill me and my grandmother. 25 or so years later the same uncle (complete paranoid delusional schizophrenic) murders my grandmother at her condo... with the very nice chef knife I bought her for Christmas the year before..."
– Serotu
Severe Trauma
"Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was shot 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house."
"I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU."
"I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have 'drop foot'. Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well."
– skullexis
We are not all born the same.
Complete Immunity
"I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague."
– SursumCorda-NJ
Sharper Image
"I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye."
– The_Smoot
Prematurely Slim
"When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks)."
– cyanomys
Losing Digits
"I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at."
– HearingAccurate8616
People live with the unfortunate risk that their lives can be cut short at any given moment.
Ticking Time Bomb
"I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term adjusts glasses... 'instantaneous death'. I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol."
– ignisnex
For The Sake Of Survival
"my immune system backfired and tried to murder me and almost succeeded. I now have to take multiple injections every single day all day or i'll die a painful death within a week."
"Just trying to write diabetes in the most bad-a** way."
– monstrinhotron
A friend of mine once told me that the name I've known him by was not his real name.
He had gone by an alias, which everyone at work assumed was his actual name, to protect himself and his identity after he had been violently hunted down, stalked and threatened for his life for witnessing a murder.
The suspects involved were eventually caught and locked away for good.
I don't remember all the other details about the traumatizing incident because I was completely stupefied.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/