As Jane Austen's classic novel Pride and Prejudice so memorably taught us, we should never make absolute assumptions on someone's character based solely on a first impression.
People have a way of surprising us, for better or for worse.
Sometimes, it's not exactly the things people say or do which are indicative of their character, but rather smaller, more unexpected things.
Indeed, it's the small, subtle things people say or do which might truly reveal what they're like as a person.
Often deciding whether or not we want to be associated with them.
"What is a random thing that reveals a lot about a person?"
Own it, Or Deny It?
"How they react to being told they're wrong or have made a mistake."- 80085ntits
A Little Kindness Goes A Very Long Way...
"How they treat people they’ll probably never see again."- Jakesnake_42
The Environment Is A Shared Space!
"If they throw trash on the ground or in a proper receptacle."- juicy-jaynapugs recycle GIFGiphy
Thinking About Anything Other Than Themselves
"Whether they will do something that will help something else without directly benefiting them."
"This can be everything from returning the trolley, to picking up trash they walk past, or helping out a stranger."
"I think it shows real character."- BlueRaven_01
"How they act when things don't go their way, flat tire, etc."
"It shows you how they problem solve."- Young_Old_Grandma
"Self - control."- smallduckenergy0
Keeping Parking Lots Safe...
"Whether they return shopping trolleys in parking lots."- ZaryssThesia
No One Likes A Gossip...
"What they say about others when that person isn't around."
"Say something nice or don't say anything at all."- Maximum_Passion1865
No One Likes A Know-It-All... Or A Charlatan!
"How they respond to a question they don't know the answer to."- CoolPotatoTomato·Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy
There's Always Something...
"What they complain about."- butterflysixxteen
Even people who make every effort to keep themselves a closed book by keeping to themselves and saying as little as they can still can't hide from everyone
Sometimes it's not what people say or do which shows who they truly are, but rather what they don't say or do.
As the saying goes, true beauty comes from within
While physical attraction is indeed important in finding a romantic partner, it can be the sole factor one bases their decision on.
As some unpleasant surprises might be disguised in attractive packages.
No matter how chiseled their jaw-line, how much their eyes glisten, or how luxurious their hair feels as you rub your fingers through it, it might take only one small action from this seemingly perfect specimen to overshadow any and all remnants of beauty.
Making one think they might as well be on a date with a troll from under the bridge.
"What immediately makes a man/woman unattractive?"
When You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say...
"Snidely putting down other people for no reason."
"Especially if the other person was talking about something they’re passionate about."
"That sh*t hurts my soul."- serbianspy
Compliments Are Easier Than You Think...
"Speaking down to someone else in order to get the group’s attention/laugh."- spaceflower890·
A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way
"How they treat others."- bawbsmithinsulting dan levy GIF by CBCGiphy
Open Your Eyes!
"Ignorance and a wish to stay that way instead of improving."- Tigydavid135
No One Loves A Know It All
"When they think they know everything/ are always right."- SoupAddict34
"Do You Know Who I Am?!?!"
"A sense of entitlement."- podgeekHomer Simpson Fox GIF by AniDomGiphy
"But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?"
"Not being interested in anyone outside of themselves."- peywally
"It's OK If I Do It..."
"Years ago, before meeting a blind date for the first time she told me over the phone that she hoped that I didn't wear glasses because she found them unattractive and couldn't see herself dating a guy with glasses."
"So, I met her later, and she wore glasses."
"I find Hypocrites unattractive now."- nsvxheIeuc3h2uddh3h1
We All Have Our Limits
"They say they don't like dinosaurs."- SuvenPanJurassic Park No GIFGiphy
SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!
"Constant whining."- BulldawgHokie
There's nothing wrong with being stopped dead in your tracks after an impossibly gorgeous person walks by you on the street.
But best to reserve judgment on that individual until sharing at least a word or two with them.
As the first thing they say might camouflage their beauty in the blink of an eye.
Be it to impress a first date, prospective in-laws, or one's boss, many people have a tendency to overcompensate, or adjust their normal behavior.
This is all done in the hopes that they'll impress these people by showing off their enormous wealth, remarkable intelligence or the like.
In doing so, however, their efforts to impress don't often succeed.
In fact, they might inadvertently find themselves putting these people off, resulting in an even bigger uphill battle than they began with.
Redditor NeonRunaway was curious to hear what things people tend to falsely believe come off as appealing to others, leading them to ask:
"What’s not nearly as attractive as people think?"
Your voice is the only thing about you that's deep...
"Dudes that are trying to do deep voice because of TikToks."- ashucream
Eventually, they'll stop chasing...
"Playing hard to get."- groovy604
I must be right if I'm talking this loud!
"Loud, assertive confidence."
"When you're not an expert on the topic."- Hullaba-LooSeason 2 Ugh GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
I can smell your desperation from a mile away...
"Guys who drown themselves in cologne."- shoegazer44
You can impress me in other ways
"I am told that exotic sex positions are incredible awkward and physically difficult which will turn you off quickly."- Psychological_Dish75
I'm rich, therefor I must be desirable!
I" have a buddy who is constantly showing off his cars, watches, and shoes."
"He’s single and I’m convinced he’s doing all that to find a girl."
"It's not as impressive or attractive as he thinks it is."- dkwatkins28Balling Andy Samberg GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
Why has it become so difficult to talk?
"Those horrendous jacked up lips everyone is getting."
"Y’all look like you’ve had an allergic reaction."- Gr00vemovement
"Those massive lips."
"Just looks like you got stung by a bee."- level 1dana_ranger
The viral sensation that feels more like a virus...
"Tiktok boys biting their lip and rubbing their hands."
"One woman who stitched one boy like that said it right: you look like a housefly."
"Stop it."- Somniatora
Confidence, not arrogance
"People hear 'confidence is attractive', and think its attractive to be a huge obnoxious d*ck who thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't care about how they treat others."
"Confidence in yourself, like knowing who you are, what you like and being okay with it is attractive."- pancakepegasusMusic Video Good Job GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy
The best way to make a strong first impression is by showing others who you really and truly are.
Not by simply showing off.
There is always the one annoying person in a group, an individual who just rubs you the wrong way.
And yet, we could just as easily be someone who can be a total pain in the rump to someone else.
We can't get along with everyone, and we can't expect to change people if we find them disagreeable.
"What kind of person/ personality can you just not stand?"
Some people like to put on a show. And they're not in the entertainment business.
"People that are aggressive for the sole purpose of looking intimidating in front of everyone."
"People that constantly keep bringing up someone's mistakes that they'd rather forget, no matter how much time it passes just for the sake of it (I have a friend like this sadly)."
Jekyll & Hyde
"Who are they? The ones who talk sh*t to you about other people. They'll be doing the same about you."
Star Of The Show
"Super showy, everything is about them, always trying to be the center of attention."
Workplace personalities can be a headache.
"The people at work who only keep their jobs through kissing butt. If they didn't spend most of their time having their head up the boss's bum, their boss would actually see how much of a worthless sh*t they were."
"Micromanaging, I've been at my job for over two years and we have some 18 year old, who just got hired. She acts like she's a manager and basically tries to tell people what to do and how to do it even though she's wrong 99% of the time."
"They dont take accountability for their actions, especially when people know its 100% on them."
"If something happens that's out of their control, that's a different story, but if that person is 100% at fault and they make an excuse or deny it, shame them."
"The 'Salesman' always has something Super-Duper. When you ask any detailed questions about how that could work. They make up something, or repeat the initial story."
People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The following people lack social graces.
"Inconsistent people even. depending on where they see you their attitude changes I always find that suspicious."
A Specializing Experts
"The people who consider having a conversation with someone of a certain profession as 'studying' said profession."
"my brother in law is a doctor, so I know a thing or two about medicine"
"People who play dumb to be cute. It's not cute."
Always Brushing Things Off
"The 'I'm just kidding!' guy."
"Every funny person I've ever known as never felt the need to say 'I'm just kidding' or 'it's just a joke'. If you have to tell me it was a joke, you're simply not funny and should probably quit trying to be."
"Someone who IS always right."
"People who keep talking when I need a break and end this conversation."
"The kind of person who says degrading things for no reason instead of just talking to you in a mature manner about the problems you have with each other."
"Extraverts who are completely out of touch with themselves and tone deaf about how they deploy their attitude unto others."
I have little patience for those who aren't on time.
I understand things happen, but when I make plans to meet someone, I make sure I allow extra time beforehand to allow for unexpected delays.
If you're over half an hour late and I'm not informed, I think it's just disrespectful.
Punctuality is a great character trait because it indicates that a person manages their time well and is someone who is courteous, reliable, and has their act together.
That's just my two cents.
Many things around us possess a duality of opposing forces – including us.
While the concept of dualism embodies inter-connectedness, we could stand to lose the negative aspects of ourselves if we can admit to having them.
It's a challenge always doing our best to be Jekyll while we conceal our Hyde.
But if we're able to acknowledge having the most toxic of traits and confront them head-on, there may be a possibility the light will overcome the darkness and allow us to become better versions of ourselves.
Curious to hear about the things that make us feel ashamed or ourselves, Redditor fafifafufa asked:
"What's your most toxic trait you can admit to?"
"I can't let go of things and I take things way too personally. I rationalize it like this 'I wouldn't dream of saying or doing something like that to this person, so why are they doing it to me?.'"
"Also, I procrastinate like no other. Seriously, you could give me a year, or 2 days to do something. Wouldn't make a difference."
Not Letting Things Go
"I can hold a grudge a long time."
"This! I have cut family members from my life because of my grudge."
Putting It Off
"I procrastinate to a concerning degree as well. I'm starting to think it's because whatever line of work I got myself into is something I hate so so much, and that's why it's so dreadful to start any project, because like, I have no problem being productive when it comes to my hobbies, it's just school/work/chores that I procrastinate on."
Living Out Loud
"I'm not good at hiding my emotions. Specifically, if I'm in a bad mood, everyone knows it. I used to be an absolute nightmare when I was younger because of it; I'd turn my bad mood into everyone's bad mood. I don't do that anymore, but I'm still not good at hiding it."
"I'm an unintentional one-upper."
"I'm not trying to steal the attention during a story or cut you off, I'm just overly excited that I can relate to you and want to share my similar story."
All About Me
"I talk about myself way too much and don't ask about the other person nearly enough."
"Probably not my most toxic trait but definitely the one that's giving me issues at the moment."
Getting Too Attached
"I’ve had a best friend ghost me, so I can be really, really clingy now. Unsurprisingly, this encourages more people to ghost. I’m trying to nip it in the bud."
"Ken, if you’re reading this, get bent."
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy.
"I sometimes tend to be a sore loser."
"Same. Especially if I'm gambling, I dont get pissed off at casual games with friends or my gf but if I'm losing a sports bet I'll be motherf'king people left and right"
"Most of the time when I ask people for their opinions, I don't actually want to hear 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 opinion. Instead I want to hear my opinion come out of their mouth. I'm always hoping that they will have the same opinion as me because it makes me feel validated. I don't actually care about what they really think."
"I'm extremely insecure and overthink a lot, I feel constant fear of being disliked or abandoned, I need a lot of reassurance in things because my anxiety makes me so scared and worried I either hold on too tight or I push people away even though I want them close which only end up hurting them more."
"I have impossibly high standards for myself and I tend to place this on others as well. Then I get pissy/grouchy when people fail me. Deep down it is a self protection mechanism, having been let down by so many people, it is just easier to assume and expect the worst, that even the best of those I love will let me down."
Not Being Consumed
Distancing themselves for whatever reason wound up not being a wise solution for these Redditors.
"I'm emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I just disappear. My closest friends understand this but it's off putting for new friendships. It's nothing personal, I just need to recharge."
"I just don't care about most things and that apathy has done a lot of harm to myself and others."
"Honestly this, I've been completely desensitized to 90% of things that when I see terrible things happening, like on the news and such, I'm just kinda like 'yeah, shi* happens, world sucks, same ol same ol' and continue on."
Relinquishing Certain Control
"I've begun categorizing things into 'you problems' and 'me problems.' I can control my actions and reactions, and that's it. I can't control anything else. If someone is being an a**hole and upsets me, then that's a them problem and they need to work on that part of themselves. If they're acting with good intentions and it's an accident, then it's a me problem if I hold that against them. Lifting the responsibility off of myself for the actions of others and only establishing accountability for myself really has reduced my stress and guilt."
Single By Choice
"I refuse to date. Because I'm aware I'm emotionally unavailable I think that's bullsh*t to lead someone on and completely unfair to do, and I don't do one night stands. I'm very personable and charismatic, so I am good with meeting new people, but I don't let it become anything more than friends."
"I'm bad at keeping in touch with people I care about. The phrase out of sight out of mind is really true for me. I tend to just be absorbed by what's right in front of me. It's very rare that I would have a thought like I wonder how my sister is doing or I wonder how such-and-such friend is doing after xyz event or even I wonder how my girlfriends day is going. I care about these people obviously, but they also don't seem to naturally occur to me in my daily thoughts."
"This unfortunately leaves it up to everyone else to reach out to me, to hang, to make the invitation, to chat, etc. I'm always super stoked when they do, but I regret putting that on them. I'm fortunate that they do all make the effort. I am a good friend... like with anything else I do, when I'm with someone I'm very much absorbed in that interaction, so that I think helps put away any doubts about my interest in the relationship."
"Another aspect of it is that I always imagine that everyone else has something going on. I don't want to interrupt or put any pressure of having to accept an invitation on them. I don't know what it's like to be bored at home wishing there was something fun to go out and do.... if I have free time like that I relish in it as a chance to play some video games or watch a movie. I'm a total home body. I have no problem filling my days with productive things/recreation/sports that I enjoy doing on my own. Maybe I lived alone too long and got too good at it."
"Bottom line I am trying to better at being the one to reach out. Because I know deep down that it feels good to hear spontaneously from your friends and loved ones, and I want them to feel good."
I'm a procrastinator.
I embarrassingly did not RSVP in time for a wedding and when I showed up at the reception assuming my very late response was received, I realized my name and plus-one were not on the list.
We did not have a place to sit at the reception which was held on a harbor cruise around Manhattan.
Fortunately, the very understanding bride and dear friend did not make us walk the plank. As it turned out, there was a cancellation and we did not that let the absent party's dinner go to waste.
You would think a lesson about procrastination was learned.
Hey, we're all a work in progress.
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