People Explain Which Things They Wish The Opposite Sex Understood Better
Whether it's in family, friendships, or dating, we've all felt misunderstood at some point. But it seems especially common to feel misunderstood by the opposite sex.
Here are some key points that people wished those of the opposite sex would just understand already.
Redditor idontplayhockey asked:
"What is something you wish the opposite sex understood better?"
Compliments Go a Long Way
"A good chunk of the men who need reassurance are most likely not getting enough compliments in the relationship."
"This isn't always the case, but I always felt insane dating certain people, and then with the right person who complimented me, is genuinely attracted to me and initiated things, and who ACTUALLY loves me (I now think others weren't that attracted to me, even ex-fiance), and I have never felt more confident, and safe in a relationship."
"Looking back, my intuition was correct with the other people I dated, and that's why I never felt secure."
- TinyDrug
Food Secrets
"If you wanted fries, you should have asked for fries."
- podrick_pleasure
For the Love of LEGO
"I don't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, go to strip clubs, or play video games... My vice is LEGO (yes, I'm a f**king dork) and my wife just can't stop complaining about the LEGO."
- lazyFer
The Dating Game
"Wish both sexes better understood biased selections. F**kboys, f**kgirls, arrogant egotistical people, and deplorable tw*ts will be overrepresented in the pool of people you encounter in a dating setting."
"Normal people form relationships, get tired of all the bulls**t, and 'age out' of the dating pool, all of which makes them underrepresented."
- 5e884898da
Stay the Same
"When I say, 'Just like that,' I don't mean speed up to 100 miles per hour."
- Unlikely_Anywhere464
Not Perfect
"For both sexes, we are flawed people and we are not perfect. Stop expecting everything to be perfect 100% of the time. I'm far from perfect, but I strive to make myself better. I'm married guy."
- ThrowAway97283917
Okay with the Friend Zone
"This might be specific to me, but... If I ask you out, and you say no, that's it. Like there's no lingering weirdness or anything. If you're not interested in me romantically, that's fine."
"I'm perfectly cool just being friends. I won't be awkward or anything about it, won't bring it up, won't bring it up to mutual friends, it was just a question."
"The friend zone isn't a bad thing all the time. Sometimes it's where the best friends come from."
- bstyledevi
Feeling Clueless
"I genuinely have no clue about 99% of the mind games taking place around me."
- SolitaryDumpster
Be Direct
"It's not as romantic, but plainly saying, 'I want the D' would fix so many issues in the communication department."
"Don't come to my place claiming to be interested in my hobbies but really after the D, because I will museum guide you through all that s**t that is my past time, and the idea of unzipping will scarcely occur to me."
- ZenEvadoni
Individualized Emotions
"Just because you keep telling me it's okay to have emotions doesn't mean I'm going to burst into tears. I have emotions, they're just quiet and don't bother people."
"I'm not emotionally distant or unfeeling. I'm just not going to burst into tears because the dog died in 'Marley and Me.' I'll cry when my dog dies in 'My Dog and Me.'"
- DanteWolfe0125
Menstruation Woes
"How bad period pain can get for some women."
"Have you ever been WOKEN UP from pain at 3 AM that didn’t go away for at least a couple of hours so you just stayed awake because going back to sleep was definitely not happening?"
"Painkillers only work for me if I catch it BEFORE it gets bad."
- BluWaff_x
Boundaries, Please
"Just because you think I’m pretty, doesn’t mean I need you to send me a photo of your junk. Come on now."
Connect First
"As a guy, I don't always want to have sex. Wanting to get in your pants isn't an indicator of liking you or not. Sometimes I just want to laugh and see how I enjoy being around you because most people turn out disappointing."
- Vapes-DB
Happy to Help
"We're honestly happy to help you lift stuff and carry stuff and put things away on high shelves. We like being big and strong. But please don't take it for granted. Show your appreciation."
- Fuzzpot
No Means No
"'No' doesn’t mean 'convince me.'"
- prosecutie05579
Some of these examples were heartening, as they apply to both genders, but others, like no meaning no, are disappointing, as it feels like it's a concept all people should understand by now.
People Describe The Worst Parts About Having An Opposite Sex Best Friend
Society gets confused about when two people of opposing genders are best friends.
It's never that you can just be friends. People make assumptions constantly about you both and how your relationship with each other must be.
And to make it worse, people that you love and trust do this to you too.
u/eternalrefuge86 asked:
What's the worst part of having an opposite-sex best friend?
Here were some of those answers.
Nobody Believes You
Definitely the stress it puts on my relationship. There is always at least a little bit of jealousy and protectiveness.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
Literally Nobody
The parent's questions.
You sure you don't like her? *Gives knowing wink*
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
"She looks like she's taking real good care of you"
"Mommmmm....."
Future Plans
Constantly being asked if you all are together or when you're going to be a couple.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
My friend used to introduce me as his sister just because of this. Luckily we look somewhat alike, soulless gingers we are.
Gender Roles
everyone thinks it's going to end up in some Julia Roberts "we were in love the whole time" stuff
people will even say it in front of your SO
no- that's my friend- how hard is it to understand?
Making It Bearable
A female friend of mine started dating a yoga guy with a top knot, can't stand that guy
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
It really is annoying when the guys they like to date clash with your personality. Can be frustrating when they want to do stuff and you cant stand their partner and they cant stand you.
The Same Everywhere
Jealousy from my SO. I have to second-guess all the things I do or say to my SO when it comes to things about the best friend. I try to make sure she doesn't overthink anything. I have a lot of anxiety when she overthinks and I just can't seem to snap her out of it. Hiding things from her isn't something I want, and doesn't really seem like it'll help if at all. I don't know how to deal with the amount of anxiety and stress I feel, all I can hope is I can get better.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
When It DOES Happen
I've had a female best friend for over 20 years. The worst part is we have occasional phases where one of us wanted to be more than friends. It gets really emotional and weird until it passes and things go back to normal. It seems to get stronger every time though and it's scary. We're both terrible at relationships and I can't imagine losing an almost life long friendship over it.
No Scrubs
The worst part for me is when I meet her new fella for the first time and a few beers in he asks if his girlfriend and I have ever slept together. I feel bad because I know at that point his days are numbered because they always end up the jealous, possessive type - those dudes don't last.
Also, just like to say clearly a few people in here don't understand the meaning of friendship. You aren't friends if you're just sitting around waiting for her to have sex with you. Sort yourselves out you scrubs.
Scary Treading Water
Wondering if you'd be great together but then you're not really attracted to them so you'll probably never know. And even if you are attracted to them you wouldn't risk becoming more than friends because what if it doesn't work out?
The Most Difficult Part
You can't talk about gender-specific issues with them. I don't mind best friends who are guys, but it's hard for them to understand the pains of bleeding through your freaking underwear.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d85182...
People Debate Whether They'd Date An Opposite Sex Version Of Themselves
Have you ever thought about whether or not you would date yourself?
Would you be a good date? A good partner? Are you nice enough to yourself and to other people?
Would you have fun at Coney Island with yourself? These are the important questions.
u/abood1243 asked:
Would you date an opposite sex version of your self? Why and why not?
Here were some of those answers.
Could You Be Partners?
Sure. I get along great with myself.
The major downside would be though, there would be no covering for each others weaknesses and complementing each others strengths.
Knowledge
Yeah she'd probably know all the best taco places.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d885b1...
Doesn't that imply that you already know all the best taco places? That knowledge doesn't stack, you either know them or you don't.
Relation
Two shy people, neither of whom is ready to speak first.. Not likely.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d885b1...
But surely you'll be able to relate and understand each other better, having the same traits. For a shy person, having someone who understands you can really bring the best out of you.
To Protect The World From Devastation
I'm already horrible enough as is, the world isn't ready for trouble, make it double.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d885b1...
Ok team rocket calm down
Twinning
I actually did, for a while, date a girl that was like my mirror copy. Not physically, but personality, world view, attitude, opinions.
Met at college. Hit it off amazingly, had so much in common, literally completing each others sentences from get go. Living the dream.
But over the years, it ruined our relationship. It was an echo chamber. If there ever was a situation I couldn't handle, she couldn't either, and it would blow up. I couldn't appreciate the good in her, because I was used to it in myself.
Went our separate ways shortly after college. I still remember our time together fondly. But unless you both are the perfect human being, that kind of relationship doesn't work.
Really Analyzing
Absolutely. Assuming there's any physical attraction we enjoy the same things, have similar standards, care about the same people - it'd be a good match. Are all of my traits awesome for dating? No, but I of all people can understand them and where she'd be coming from, and no one is more used to living with me and the consequences of that than I am...
It's a good deal, I think.
At worst? I (we both) learn a lot about ourselves and we grow as people. I think it'd work out - but if it didn't? Well, it was fun trying.
A Simple Answer
Lol no, I did the girl snapchat filter and I looked exactly like my sister. Plus I'm gay anyways
Silencio
No, I generally rely on other people to keep the conversation going.
With two me's, its gonna be a whole lot of silence.
"Yeah, I like that, too"
"cool"
"cool cool"
"..........."
Time Enough At Last
In terms of personality, we'd do great together. Finally! Someone who understands what I mean when I say "spend time alone, together." Ideally she'd be as into building random stuff as I am. Not to mention doing hallucinogens with myself would be pretty fun.
Now, the problem would be that I'm a pretty shallow person. I'm not bad looking so hopefully she wouldn't be either, but it's possible she may decide that I'm not hot enough. Or maybe she'll look just like me, and even if I'm not a bad looking dude, I'd make an ugly woman.
Spending Habits
I would - I think i'm a fun, well rounded individual, who has my life put together. I'd totally love to hang out with me. Plus, having the same views on money management would be a great bonus!