I stopped listening to people recently. I had to. Mainly because it hindered my ability to listen to myself. I've taken so much bad advice merely because I believed they knew better, when they knew nothing. And I know I'm not alone.
Be Dumb
Confused Threes Company GIF by MOODMANGiphy"You should act less smart so more guys talk to you."
- imerbear
Ignorance...
"Just ignore the bully. He'll get bored. I wish my parents told me, "To Hell that kid up. You're 16. Slap on the wrist."
"I was bullied all throughout middle and high school. I dropped out half way through my sophomore year, then went back after working a summer."
"Former bully tried it again, and I just shouted "F* OFF!" in his face. He was so surprised. Thus ended 8+ years of torment. He never tried anything again. I dropped out again though, got my GED, went to college and did well. I'm good now. ADHD + meds = functional adult."
Shake it Off...
"Work through the pain, it will make your back feel better. It didn't."
"I lost a friend because they felt I was lazy for not "powering through" the chronic pain issues I have and "just live life" instead. Umm... I am powering through it every single moment of the day from the moment I will myself out of bed. It is exhausting and there's a limit to how much one can do that. I have an autoimmune condition so it looks like there's nothing wrong with me from the outside, and a lot of folks don't care much beyond the superficial."
Ok Octomom...
My (ex-) co-worker advised me to have a baby because I was suffering so badly from my depression. She said this would cure my "bad mood."
"I once had a patient with borderline personality disorder also suffering from depressions. She already had 5 children from 5 different (ex-)partners, who where all in foster homes, because she could not care for them. Neglect, abuse, dangerous situations and the sorts.
"That day she told me she was so happy because she was pregnant again from an unknown partner. She was happy because pregnancy always made her feel better. I could only think about the next child's life being ruined. Although I'm generally opposed to forced contraception... sometimes... Don't fall for the trap."
Just Eat!
Excited Food GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy"Come on, stop complaining and swallow it." No mom, I'm allergic to freaking soy, if I swallow it I'll probably die."
First, listen to generational advice carefully. Each generation has a different perspective and we're learning a lot of it is shaded by trauma. That's important to recognize. Don't fall victim to other's issues.
Buzzz...
sad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy"Kick it to see if there are anymore bees inside." There were plenty of bees still inside."
never say sorry to a student...
"When I was an aspiring educator, I received a lot of scary advice about how school teachers should run a classroom from people who were well intended, but were completely out of touch. The most memorable was from a woman who had been a special education teacher for years and her nugget of wisdom was to "never say sorry to a student and never admit you're wrong." My philosophy as a teacher could never be more opposite."
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A Little Rash
"No need to go to the doctor, it's just a little rash." It was Lyme's and I nearly died. "It was the Urgent Care nurse who said this. I believed it, my mom didn't, the next place sent me to the hospital."
- ATLander
"It bothers me how Americans need to make sure they ABSOLUTELY NEED to see a doctor before they go and look for medical help. It must suck that you can't just pop into the ER to check your weird rash, just to be safe. I really hope your healthcare gets better in the future."
"Also, I mean no offence, nor am I sh*tting on your country. I just wished everybody had the reassurance that they'll get the help they need without having to sell your firstborn. Someone mentioned an affordable system called Direct Primary Care. Don't know anything about it, just thought I should pass it on."
Failure to Launch
"My father once told me, when I was in my teens, "don't ever try anything new because you might fail." That's like the opposite of what good parents are supposed to say. He had recently went out and tried a career change and failed."
- rujoe
"My father said something similar. "You think like you live in a game. As if you're Super Mario in The Matrix."
"Something doesn't work out and you think you could just try again. That's not how life works, son. You need to have your entire life planned out and stick to that plan." For one, I did not think that. I was very well aware that I was on planet Earth in material form and that deus ex machinas don't happen in real life."
"Second, The Matrix does not work that way. Third, why do I need to have my life planned out at 13 years old? Aren't I supposed to try things out and then keep trying to do the things I enjoy until I'm good at them? Not according to my dad. He kept berating me about this until I finally moved out after graduating."
This was literally 1984!
Music Videos 80S GIFGiphy"In 1984 I was told by a friend's mom that computers were "a fad" and that I shouldn't major in computer science in college. I ignored that advice, it was obvious even then this was a crazy take. This was literally 1984! Van Halen wasn't really my scene though, I was more into new wave music at the time."
Family Fun
"When my mom was dying in hospice, a coworker of mine told me I should at least let her family know, even though my mom told me she didn't care if they knew or not. Well, I let them know, and I definitely regretted it. The sister and her kids made it an entire dramatic ordeal and had to be removed from the room. Her brother didn't even call or text, just sent his dingbat wife who didn't even notice my mom had already passed. Haven't heard from either of them in the year since she's passed. My mom was right."
Hands Down
"If somebody's mean to you it's because they like you." Can people please stop telling kids this? I used to believe it, too. Yeah, maybe sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not! Especially above the age of 7 lol."
Ha Ha
"In 1998, I was a senior in college and completely frustrated by the college administrations inability to adapt to the online world, particularly with class scheduling. My last semester of school, where I was a jaded senior and didn't give a crap and just wanted enough hours to graduate."
"I remember a lady in the registrars office vehemently denying that registration would ever go online. Her words were something like "We will ALWAYS do in person registration, computers will never change that." I want to find that lady today and just smirk."
In the Shops
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphy"I was 19, thinking about maybe going to college or getting a job in finance. My friend's mum said "no, don't do that. You know where the real money is? Shops. Working in shops."
A Pinch
"You should let it pinch you, it won't hurt that much..."
"It was the biggest crawdad I ever saw and I was maybe like 10 fishing with my Dad. He didn't think I would be stupid enough to do it, but I wanted to impress him. The chaos that then ensued; I picked it up and let it pinch the soft skin between my thumb and hand promptly scream in pain."
"Dad was laughing his butt off tried to help just to be pinched by the other claw on the back of his hand. This cycle of continuous pinching continues as we stupidity try to help one another then finally we get it removed and my Dad says to body slam it so I throw it as hard as I can back into the lake."
Above It...
"Live above your means. It motivates you to do better" Uhhh...No."
"Had a sales manager basically say this. Honestly don't remember how the conversation got there, but was told "we need to get you some debt so that you will stay motivated." I preferred to live below my means so I could tell him to run off whenever I pleased."
Happy Away
"Try to think of happier things when you hallucinate. Yeah... let me just think of a unicorn, I can totally control schizophrenia. That'll help me not see the blurry faceless man following me in the hallway. Maybe I won't be so paranoid. That how that works, right? Happy away the illness."
The Scraper
"I scraped someone's truck in our apartment complex a few weeks after I first got my license at 18, in my defense he was very over the lines and it was the only available spot. Called my dad in a panic because I didn't know what to do, he told me to go park in the lot of the apartments next to us and just pretend nothing happened unless someone confronts me. New and inexperienced, I listened."
"Horrible advice, someone saw it and the guy found which apartment I was in. He was pissed but more understanding when he realized I was just a kid (to a guy In his 40s I guess 18 is a kid) and explained what happened. We worked insurance stuff out and I learned to never take my dad's advice."
"I should mention that I'm not considering 18 to be fully matured, I'm currently 24 and 18 year Olds definitely seem younger than they did when I was 18, I guess I consider kids to be more like people I wouldn't trust to leave home alone. That said, they are just as stupid as kids sometimes, like when they hit a truck and then take their dad's advice to do nothing and hope I don't get in trouble."
Perfection
"Don't break up with him! You're perfect together! Spoiler alert: we weren't."
"Not the same but in adjacent territory, my ex-bf's sister said we should have a baby together because they make everything awesome. I was in my early 20s in college, and he was in his late 30s as were his siblings. I was obviously in a predatory dynamic and didn't know it at the time but I definitely wasn't about to take her advice."
No Dear
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphy"Former mother in law- if you love him harder he won't hit you."
- Atheva31
"My grandmother told my mom "maybe try making him decent coffee and he would be gentler" forget you Gretchen."
Advice is tricky. Everyone wants to help. And more often than not we're all more failing than helping. Learning to listen to our gut and our won voice is where we should start with advice. That's my advice. Let's try... begin.
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There are also basic truths that anyone, at any age can be in unison about. Like, be kind to animals, everyone agrees there. Also, our government is overpaid, whether you're a Boomer, Gen Z, X, or 100 years old, we all know that's true. What else?
hey arnold nicksplat GIFJust Dumb
"Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart."
"Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize. source, I think And that is indeed more or less accurate. People in IT don't like pointless attack surfaces."
Ink Issues
"My printer. I was trying to scan something at my mom's house this week, and her printer wouldn't let me log into the program to scan things unless I was connected to the internet. (She has internet, but her computer drops the connection every time it goes to sleep, so she has to reboot it all the time). And then it wouldn't let me scan things until I made an account."
"The printer has spent 100% of its life connected to the computer with a USB cord, and the printer knows it is connected via USB because it told me it was connected via USB. HP, you can f**k right off with these nonsense obstacles you put in the way of people using the device they already paid for. The only reason I need internet and an account to use the software is so you can nag me about signing up for "helpful" refills of your overpriced ink."
"And let's not talk about the free printer I got from my dad, which I tried to use to scan something, and which would not let me scan because it was out of ink, and clearly those two functions are entirely dependent on one another and could not possibly function independently."
Touch
"Physical keyboards are better."
"What's with car manufacturers now wanting to only put in a giant touch screen? Where are my physical buttons damn it! I can only deal with touch screens for phones and tablets."
"I think that most people will agree with you on that one. That's the reason virtual keyboards have clicking sound effects, to mimic the real and superior keyboards."
Just Chill
Classic Film Summer GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"I don't want my damn refrigerator connected to the internet. It has one job."
So, so true. All of that! Why do my home appliances have to also control the world? I just need my things to do their singular job well and that's all. Why are so many things in life complicated?
Butts Out!
Jason Momoa Dancing GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"PULL UP YA DAMN PANTS!!"
"It's been several years since I've gone up stairs behind some guy with his whole butt out of his pants and in my face. Thank the Lord."
Politeness
"Sending out thank you notes when you receive a gift from someone. My mom was always big on that and I understand why. I bought an expensive gift for my friends birthday and she never messaged me or said thank you for the gift. Saying thank you isn't that hard and it means a lot to the person."
No Cameras
"Not everything needs to be filmed and put on the internet."
"This. I'm fine if you take a short video or a few photos to look back on, but you don't need to share your two minute video of the fireworks you watched on July 4th. Nobody cares, and you end up wasting your time looking more at your phone than at the firework show."
Tooooo Many Options
"There's too many subscription services for crap. It's nice to have access to unlimited movies and TV, but like. For the most part I wind up just watching the same sitcom over and over to decompress after work. I wonder how much I could have saved by just getting B99 and King of the Hill box sets instead of paying for Hulu for four years. And anything where they mail you a box of curated crap every month is absolutely unnecessary, toot freaking sweet."
"be that person"
"Communities within neighborhoods would be lovely. My mum talks about it all the time, but it's something I've never experienced myself. Like, we know our neighbors, but that's about it. I'd love to live on a street or in a suburb where people have little get-togethers (street parties for big events) or just generally know and look out for each other on a more meaningful level."
"Sadly I am but a lowly 23-year-old, far off owning my own property, but one day I would love to "be that person" and bake brownies for my little cul-de-sac. Sorry I can't back to all these comments, I'm overwhelmed lol, but I'm taking notes for future me. Currently, live on a council estate where not everyone gets on (there's a cockerel war rn) so now is not the time to get cuddly with the neighbours lol."
Boomer Reaction GIF by MOODMANAmen to so much of this. After reading this, I feel so much less alone. Now why can't we use this as a starting off point for other discussions? Let's try...
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Do we like them for the music or the theatrics?
"Most mainstream musicians focus more on their theatrics and personas instead of music so a lot of it sounds the same and it's bland."
"Because for the most part they don't write their music, in fact most artists from the us share the same 2-3 song writers/lyricists, so no wonder why they all sound the same. It's made to be perfectly safe and marketable and generic. Because a song that dares to try something new is a risky move that may not give profit, so generic soulless song that takes no risk with guaranteed success it is."
Everyone forget the producers.
"Sometimes producers should have more credit than artists."
"THIS idk about other songs but in rap nowadays producers make so much impact on the song it basically becomes a different song with different producers."
Producers really make magic happen.
"Definitely this. I really liked a female singer, absolutely beautiful songs and amazing vocals. And then I saw her live and it sounded like awful karaoke. I still like her music, but I only listen to the fully produced stuff."
- DrunkMc
"Hahaha - a bunch of years back, Black Eyed Peas were hired to headline a big festival where I live...a place we don't usually get big names. No one could believe how awful they sounded live. None of them can sing, at all, especially Fergie. I know this is mostly a popular opinion but I so distinctly remember the opening bars of the first song and seeing the audience glance around at each other in disbelief."
Sometimes the instruments alone are enough.
"Instrumentals are heavily underrated."
"Agreed. That's one of EDM's main appeals for me... no need to constantly be singing over the music. I want to listen to my angry robots f*ck in peace without some flesh bag straining their vocal cords over the top of it."
What The Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyMetalica actually has great instrumentals.
"Most people I know who like Metallica always skip Orion, but in my opinion it's one of their best songs."
"Seriously, Metallica's instrumentals are phenomenal."
Beyonce GIF"I'm old enough to remember when she used to record music. It seems like she famous for being Beyoncé."
"Her Destiny's Child and early solo stuff was good. But I agree her last few albums have been somewhere between very average and bad."
"Honestly I think most people are just afraid to criticize her."
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Is he the greatest rapper still?
"Eminem is very talented and I can appreciate that. However, to me he just sounds like a pissed off chihuahua."
"His first 3 albums were great because he showed how talented he was and that he didn't take himself too seriously. Now he comes off as a pretentious ahole who is talented and can't take a joke anymore."
"He's an extremely talented lyricist and vocalist but the problem is his sound and style are very much a product of his time in a way that aged poorly while his content has never really evolved past him constantly trying to prove that he's the best rapper alive even though we all got the point like 15 years ago."
"That said hearing and seeing Em live for the first time back in 99 when SSLP first dropped was something else and there will probably never be another rapper with that out of this world level of impact ever again."
- ReeG
eminem does he even know aging does exist GIFGiphyThe feud between rock and pop continues
"Every time somebody says that rock is dead I laugh really hard because I've heard it before... in 1978 from disco kids."
"Every time a new genre is invented, they shout from mthe rooftops that rock is dead. It's satirical"
- bpanio
"Every time a new genre is invented, rock fans come out in hoards complaining about how its sh!tty music made by untalented people."
- Sebabpg
"If you look up the top 100 songs from 1978, about half of them are rock. In 2020, like two or three of them are rock."
"So? Just because it's not mainstream anymore doesn't mean it's dead."
"Art should not be a popularity contest, especially not one with that much corporate influence."
Surprisingly enough, a lot of these 'unpopular opinions' are fairly popular. So, can we still call them unpopular?
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One Reddit user asked:
What is an opinion you once held that was proven completely wrong?
And what ended up happening was kind of a fascinating walk through the human learning process. Some lessons needed to be taught more than once, and sometimes with tragic results.
Other opinions were an absolute joy to have changed - like the person who had only ever eaten boiled unseasoned vegetables. The first taste of a roasted potato must have been the kind of thing that moved them to tears!
Or maybe we just really love carbs?
Respect
GiphyIf you respect someone, you'll get respect.
People have different ideas about what respect means. There's one crowd that believes everyone is deserving of respect until they show themselves not to be. And there's another crowd that just repeats the mantra "Respect must be earned."
Most of the people I've met in the latter crowd seem to use that mantra as an excuse to treat people like shit by default. Like you're required to impress them somehow before they deem you worthy of basic human dignity.
Someone on Reddit pointed out the issue that often arises is not necessarily the lack of respect, but in differing definitions of respect. Respect can mean "treat me as an adult/responsible individual" versus "treat me as an authority figure."
Too often we equate "respect me and I'll respect you" as both wanting to treat each other as adults/responsible individuals, when in reality most often it's someone saying "treat me as an authority figure and I'll treat you as an adult in return."
Hard Work
People I work with will notice hard work and reward me for it. Turns out, you have to be social and have to advocate for your own career.
What I'm finding out is if you work hard they do notice it...and take advantage of it by overloading you with an overwhelming amount with no accompanying advancement in your pay or career.
- Rivka333
Turn out you have to kiss @ss, a LOT of it. Hard work means you get kept where you are bc the next guy might not be as willing.
Wrong Twice
I had a lot of misinformed opinions about drug use. I volunteered with the DARE (drug abuse resistance education) program in my small town through the local PD for a few years in middle school/ early high school. I remember going to a party and seeing people smoke weed and being shocked there weren't overdoses or wild attacks or something.
I did my own actual research on marijuana and realized how much of what DARE taught was either false or misinformation. My opinions shattered and I figured drug use wasn't that bad.
I had to learn that drugs really can be dangerous later through the loss of a friend. Luckily I never really wanted to do anything more than weed anyway, but I had to learn my opinions were wrong twice before I had a healthy understanding.
I think it would've been a lot easier if things were presented honestly from the beginning.
There have been multiple studies showing that kids who had D.A.R.E. at their school are more likely to use drugs. The primary reason for this is when they realize how absurd some of the program's claims are, they distrust everything else the program taught them.
- punjar3
Not A Choice
That being gay is a choice.
And then I realized I was gay and also realized that it was not a choice.
My grandfather was gay and during a conversation with him I referred to the time in his life when he married my grandmother as "when he was confused."
He stopped me right there. "I was never confused. I knew I was gay, but I didn't want to accept it. I was convinced that I could change it; that I was supposed to get married and have kids, because that's what was normal."
The older I get, the more I suspect that most people who say homosexuality is a choice are closeted or bisexual, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
The reason they think it's a choice is because it is a choice... for them. They choose to not follow their urges, and assume everyone else does the same, whereas fully/mainly straight people don't really ever consider it.
When I came out to my grandma as wanting to date girls she was very confused because "everyone likes girls more but you just have to marry men, it's what you do."
She absolutely didn't realize.
Boiled
GiphyUntil I was 18, I genuinely thought that the way to cook vegetables was to boil the hell out of them to the point where they tasted lifeless. Turns out broccoli, carrots and cauliflower taste so much nicer when you roast them and add seasoning! Plus roast potatoes taste so much nicer than boiled potatoes.
Not A Flu
I thought covid-19 was a normal flu, until more peeps died very quickly and now we have less death than normal. It really ain't a normal flu.
I have to admit, I thought the same thing (kinda). I mean, I knew it was more dangerous and infectious than the flu but I thought everyone was overreacting until schools starting shutting down because that's when I first actually got affected by the virus.
Yeah, I kept telling everyone not to worry about it, they are just blowing things out of proportion. Then the world went to hell.
I was SO sure!
I changed my mind about Covid-19 the day companies started to drop out of MWC (mobile world congress). There was A LOT of money to be made around that sht, and companies NEVER lose the chance to swag a penny out of someone else's pocket, so when they decided that covid 19 might be a threat for them, I started taking it way more seriously.
Lets be honest: you'll have a clearer view of how the world really works once you starts looking at how big money behaves.
Judge Not
That all religious people are good, and the non-religious ones are most likely worse. Went to Catholic school for most of my life, raised in a very liberal Catholic household.
It all came crashing down when my city's cathedral caught a highly respected member pocketing a stack of money from collection boxes. Red-handed on CCTV. It was a long time ago and I'm glad I no longer judge non-religious people.
Baby Leashes
Parents who use leashes on their toddlers just don't want to put the effort into teaching them to listen.
Am a parent now and have been paid back 10-fold for those judgmental thoughts with a very rambunctious little boy who looks right at you with the sweetest little smile while he ignores you before running away like a squirrel on crack. We have a harness for him now.
- cornland
Yep, I see many kids that SHOULD be on a leash. And of course some parents that need to put effort in. Or both.
Our first was a handful. I was trying to keep one hand on him in the pharmacy while getting to the counter. The lady behind the checkout laughed and said "you need a leash for that one!"
I put a harness on the counter, gave a deadpan stare and said "that's what I'm here for."
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