One Reddit user asked:
What is an opinion you once held that was proven completely wrong?
And what ended up happening was kind of a fascinating walk through the human learning process. Some lessons needed to be taught more than once, and sometimes with tragic results.
Other opinions were an absolute joy to have changed - like the person who had only ever eaten boiled unseasoned vegetables. The first taste of a roasted potato must have been the kind of thing that moved them to tears!
Or maybe we just really love carbs?
Respect
GiphyIf you respect someone, you'll get respect.
People have different ideas about what respect means. There's one crowd that believes everyone is deserving of respect until they show themselves not to be. And there's another crowd that just repeats the mantra "Respect must be earned."
Most of the people I've met in the latter crowd seem to use that mantra as an excuse to treat people like shit by default. Like you're required to impress them somehow before they deem you worthy of basic human dignity.
Someone on Reddit pointed out the issue that often arises is not necessarily the lack of respect, but in differing definitions of respect. Respect can mean "treat me as an adult/responsible individual" versus "treat me as an authority figure."
Too often we equate "respect me and I'll respect you" as both wanting to treat each other as adults/responsible individuals, when in reality most often it's someone saying "treat me as an authority figure and I'll treat you as an adult in return."
Hard Work
People I work with will notice hard work and reward me for it. Turns out, you have to be social and have to advocate for your own career.
What I'm finding out is if you work hard they do notice it...and take advantage of it by overloading you with an overwhelming amount with no accompanying advancement in your pay or career.
- Rivka333
Turn out you have to kiss @ss, a LOT of it. Hard work means you get kept where you are bc the next guy might not be as willing.
Wrong Twice
I had a lot of misinformed opinions about drug use. I volunteered with the DARE (drug abuse resistance education) program in my small town through the local PD for a few years in middle school/ early high school. I remember going to a party and seeing people smoke weed and being shocked there weren't overdoses or wild attacks or something.
I did my own actual research on marijuana and realized how much of what DARE taught was either false or misinformation. My opinions shattered and I figured drug use wasn't that bad.
I had to learn that drugs really can be dangerous later through the loss of a friend. Luckily I never really wanted to do anything more than weed anyway, but I had to learn my opinions were wrong twice before I had a healthy understanding.
I think it would've been a lot easier if things were presented honestly from the beginning.
There have been multiple studies showing that kids who had D.A.R.E. at their school are more likely to use drugs. The primary reason for this is when they realize how absurd some of the program's claims are, they distrust everything else the program taught them.
- punjar3
Not A Choice
That being gay is a choice.
And then I realized I was gay and also realized that it was not a choice.
My grandfather was gay and during a conversation with him I referred to the time in his life when he married my grandmother as "when he was confused."
He stopped me right there. "I was never confused. I knew I was gay, but I didn't want to accept it. I was convinced that I could change it; that I was supposed to get married and have kids, because that's what was normal."
The older I get, the more I suspect that most people who say homosexuality is a choice are closeted or bisexual, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
The reason they think it's a choice is because it is a choice... for them. They choose to not follow their urges, and assume everyone else does the same, whereas fully/mainly straight people don't really ever consider it.
When I came out to my grandma as wanting to date girls she was very confused because "everyone likes girls more but you just have to marry men, it's what you do."
She absolutely didn't realize.
Boiled
GiphyUntil I was 18, I genuinely thought that the way to cook vegetables was to boil the hell out of them to the point where they tasted lifeless. Turns out broccoli, carrots and cauliflower taste so much nicer when you roast them and add seasoning! Plus roast potatoes taste so much nicer than boiled potatoes.
Not A Flu
I thought covid-19 was a normal flu, until more peeps died very quickly and now we have less death than normal. It really ain't a normal flu.
I have to admit, I thought the same thing (kinda). I mean, I knew it was more dangerous and infectious than the flu but I thought everyone was overreacting until schools starting shutting down because that's when I first actually got affected by the virus.
Yeah, I kept telling everyone not to worry about it, they are just blowing things out of proportion. Then the world went to hell.
I was SO sure!
I changed my mind about Covid-19 the day companies started to drop out of MWC (mobile world congress). There was A LOT of money to be made around that sht, and companies NEVER lose the chance to swag a penny out of someone else's pocket, so when they decided that covid 19 might be a threat for them, I started taking it way more seriously.
Lets be honest: you'll have a clearer view of how the world really works once you starts looking at how big money behaves.
Judge Not
That all religious people are good, and the non-religious ones are most likely worse. Went to Catholic school for most of my life, raised in a very liberal Catholic household.
It all came crashing down when my city's cathedral caught a highly respected member pocketing a stack of money from collection boxes. Red-handed on CCTV. It was a long time ago and I'm glad I no longer judge non-religious people.
Baby Leashes
Parents who use leashes on their toddlers just don't want to put the effort into teaching them to listen.
Am a parent now and have been paid back 10-fold for those judgmental thoughts with a very rambunctious little boy who looks right at you with the sweetest little smile while he ignores you before running away like a squirrel on crack. We have a harness for him now.
- cornland
Yep, I see many kids that SHOULD be on a leash. And of course some parents that need to put effort in. Or both.
Our first was a handful. I was trying to keep one hand on him in the pharmacy while getting to the counter. The lady behind the checkout laughed and said "you need a leash for that one!"
I put a harness on the counter, gave a deadpan stare and said "that's what I'm here for."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Before my first visit there, Canada was synonymous with poutine and people using the phrase, "ay". I did see a lot of poutine, and the "ay" thing seemed mostly true. But now, when someone says "Canada", I think of the kindness of the people. As we attempted to navigate the street car and bus system, and father and son noticed our confused faces, and stopped to explain how it works and how to avoid paying extra for transfers. As New Yorkers, that was a culture shock. Also, "the machine" in restaurants is something I still think about, but that's another story.
What comes to your mind when someone mentions Canada? Redditor u/DShillington was curious, and so asked non-Canadians to answer... "What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think 'Canada'?"
20. Canada in the 80s
Back in the day (80s and stuff) we used to go across the St. Clair River/Lake St. Clair to go to Canada.
The thing that sticks out in my mind is the friendliest border guards/coast guard guys in the world. It was like 'hey, so why are you traveling to Canada today?' Oh, we're just gonna go pick some strawberries at that farm...you know the one. 'Oh, cool! Well have a nice time, and don't forget to bring some back for us!'
Once out on the lake, we got 'busted' by Canadians for having open alcohol on the boat. 'You guys know that's against the law over here, right?' (My brother puts his beer out of their line of sight) 'Okay, you guys have a nice day!'"
19. Canadian television
"The Red Green Show. I will always imagine that show portrays the ideal Canadian life."
17. Even Australians know all about Canada
I'm Australian, this is what I think of when I think Canada: Friendliness and politeness, the Canadian flag, maple trees/leaves/syrup, mountains, cold weather, poutine, speaking French, hockey.
16. WWII history
"To me probably heroism and loyalty Canada played a very major role in liberating my country from German occupation in WW2, and every year during the 5th and 6th of May we commemorate your bravery and sacrifice! So yeah, thank you Canada!"
15. Great comedians
"Phil Hartman, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dan Aykroyd, Will Arnett, Tommy Chong, John Candy... So funny dudes. Yeah, I know, I'm old."
14. All of their Canadian friends
"I have a lot of friends in Canada, so I think of them. :)"
12. Some... darker facts
"The fact that my ancestors were ejected from Canada by the British!
I wish people who could prove Acadian ancestry (Cajuns) could get a track to citizenship there; I fantasized about moving to Montreal as a teen."
10. Taking advantage of the drinking age
"I live about 45 minutes from Canada in Michigan.
Hockey, poutine, and 19 year old drinking age for me."
9. Freaky geese
"the color green for some reason and the leaf thing. Also murderous geese who will someday develop teeth and destroy mankind"
7. Contrasting environments
"First I picture the beautiful flag. The simplicity and elegance which makes for a perfect flag.
Then I picture the map. A huge county covered in unique and interesting nature.
Then I picture the mounties. Dressed in their sophisticated red uniforms, gracefully riding their horses.
Then I picture downtown Vancouver where I saw a hobo taking a piss in his hat."
6. Sneaky shoppers
"I once saw something on Reddit, not sure if it was a post or a comment, but it was someone describing how a Canadian will reach past someone at a grocery store to grab something and they'll pretty much always say this when they do:
'Just gonna SNEAK right past ya there.'
This may not be exactly right but it's still what I think about everytime Canadians are mentioned in any medium."
3. Overwhelming politeness
"Idk why but I start imagining 2 people standing at the door telling each other, 'its okay, you go in first'."
2. Boreal Forests
"The woods! Even though they're not talked about much, Canada's extensive Boreal Forests are super cool to me"
1. The classics
"Maple syrup and the Canadian flag. Honestly that's what I just thought of. But also, I think of trees, airplanes, and Saskatchewan."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The Void....
GiphyUnderneath the floor of a building was just an endless void. I thought people who replaced floors were incredibly brave so I always told my parents I wanted to replace floors. Yeet_machine27
Coins....
For a year or so I wanted to be a tax collector. I saw one in a Pink Panther cartoon and thought they were just people who knocked on your door and kept all the money you paid them. whatisyourobsession
This is adorable. Lilredh4iredgrl
Shades...
That people of other races just had different levels of being tanned.... found out in the mall that I was wrong. thenewfrontiersman882
I lived in such a white area that I thought my mum, who is totally white British ethnically but has much darker features than my other mega pale family, was black. mankytoes
Just Waltz In....
I thought having a job was just you picking a company you like, waltz in, find an empty spot and start doing something. I had no concept of interviews, tests, and all the paperwork involved. MMMLG
My grandfather told us stories that it used to be like that. There was a severe labour shortage, so you'd walk in to a factory in the morning and get hired on the spot. If you didn't like the work you'd quit after a short period and just go to the factory next door. Repeat.
He said he had about 16 jobs in one week at one time. goatwomble
The New Fam....
GiphyMy Mom always told me that if I got lost or separated from her while out in public and couldn't find a police officer, I should seek out the nearest woman with children. Her reasoning was obviously that another mother would be a good kind of stranger to talk to, much more likely to help and less likely to harm a lost child.
My reasoning, however, was that if I somehow never found my own Mm again, I could and would just go home with the woman and have new siblings to play with so I wouldn't get lonely. TheBlackWomb
Then pregnancy just couldn't happen.
All that you needed to do to get pregnant was get married. tengolacamisanegra
I thought you had to be married and sleep in the same bed. Then if you both wanted a kid then pregnancy would randomly happen at a later time, unless you were infertile. Then pregnancy just couldn't happen.
Edit: Been getting a lot of questions about how I could know about infertility without knowing how sex works.
Quick answer is my mom was infertile and that knowledge was passed down to me early as it's the reason my parents adopted me. My adoption story was sort of a bedtime story for me when I was little. Child me just never thought to question how pregnancies happened. Drakmanka
Pots & Lock...
GiphyI thought a potluck was where everyone brought food to a party and put it all in one giant pot. Then you would scoop out a plateful and whatever you got was your luck. rogerriddle
Off the Rails....Â
If you missed an exit on the highway you would basically end up in a different state. BrilliantPassion1
Judging by the way people cut across 4 lanes of traffic rather than spend a few extra minutes turning around at the next exit, I feel like there are some adults that still think this is true. BChap10
Shoot First...Â
I thought being fired from work meant that the fired person gets killed. Every time my mom would tell me and my sisters not to bother her or she could get fired from work (she partially worked from home), I assumed that her boss would come into her office and literally shoot her. I was so terrified that my mom would get in any trouble at work. beautyinburningstars
Naughty. Naughty.
GiphyI thought that if I tilted my head to one side for a picture, it made me look "sexy" (god knows what I thought sexy meant back then) but it was only something naughty girls did. So I would wait until right before the pic was taken, and then quickly tilt my head right as the shutter went off. jennybelly
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Interesting perspective.
I used to really believe that it's not worth doing something if you can't do it right. After all, no one wants someone who's not committed if there's someone out there who's more committed.
Kept this mentality through college and it cost me almost all my grades; I go to a really competitive school and the amount of work is such that it's absolutely unrealistic to expect to put my best foot forward all the time. I didn't understand that and as a result I would literally just not turn in assignments. I ended up failing 3 classes in one semester because I couldn't turn in any essays, problem sets, or fully prepare readings for class. I got depression and couldn't summon the energy to shower, brush my teeth, or eat breakfast, so I just didn't.
Taking a semester off made me realize that most of the things in life need to be done, more than they need to be done well. For example, I think most of us can understand that it's better to brush your teeth once a day, with no toothpaste, for 30 seconds, than it is to not do it at all. Similarly, it was a slap in the face when my English professor came up to me after I failed the semester and said, "you need to learn to be comfortable giving me bad essays because a 40% is better than a 0%."
I've found it applies to more of life than just college. Closed mouths don't get fed.
NOT lovin' it.
GiphyUsed to complain about "frivolous lawsuits" and say things like "people can sue McDonald's when their coffee's too hot".
But came to learn the truth of that suit (Documentary "Hot Coffee") and realized the courts are one of the last places where the average person stands any chance against the wealthy/powerful/corporations.
True facts.
I thought people who didn't want go to college or people who didn't even try to pursue a higher education were making a mistake.
Now with the cost of college, student loans, and meeting people who were successful without college, I totally get it.
Thank goodness for them.
I was briefly on the anti vaxx train with it causing autism and stuff. Then seen a point about how we just got better at diagnosing it and was like "that makes sense" and that was that.
A blessing in disguise.
GiphyI grew up in a religious cult believing that I liked other guys because of imperfection and sin, and whole heartedly devoted my life to suppressing that "illness".
I ended up in the hospital. During my mandatory psychiatric stay, a psychiatrist gave me quite a figurative slap in the face. Unlike therapists up until that point, he had absolutely no respect for the idea that I could suppress being gay.
He was openly against it to the point of being rude. Would straight up laugh in my face when I said with all determination that I could lead a celibate life.
I didn't appreciate it at the time, but his words stuck with me and made me rethink my priorities. Long story short, I'm now out of the cult and have 0 contact with any of my old friends or family. It still hurts a lot but I can say with confidence now that I made the right choice.
Glad you're still here.
I used to think people who committed suicide were cowards and selfish for inflicting suffering on their loved ones.
Then I began to suffer from depression and attempted it.
I have a daughter who has made multiple attempts. It makes me rage when some assert that she is merely sad, should just get over it, etc. I'm glad you made it through.
A major shift in priorities.
I used to want kids.
I really, really wanted to have kids. My whole life I wanted to be a Mom, dreamed of what my children would be like. I was always fairly practical about when I wanted to have them, though, and was pretty careful not to get pregnant. After being married for 5 years, my husband and I decided to go for it. We tried for a little over 2 years, unsuccessfully.
It sucked.
One day I got my period and was relieved. Relieved that I wasn't pregnant. I realized that I didn't want that anymore. Talked to my husband, he felt the same, I got back on birth control. That was a couple years ago, and now we are discussing sterilization for both of us.
There are jerks in every group, unfortunately.
GiphyWhen I was younger I hated the US with a passion for many reasons.
Now, after meeting some average US citizens I realized although the place and it's people aren't perfect (no one/nowhere is) I no longer hate the US. My hate was always unwarranted and petty.
You don't understand until it happens to you.
Universal Healthcare.
I used to be AGAINST it. I now SUPPORT it.
I did a college project showing the case AGAINST Universal Healthcare. I had fantastic insurance through my dad's employer at the time.
Fast forward: 26th birthday.
Lost my dad's insurance.
Had a crappy retail job and couldn't afford insurance. Wasn't able to find work in my field. Was also in my state's gap for coverage. I was scared to death about getting sick. Even the simplest problem like needing antibiotics scared me so so much. There was no way I could afford a hospital bill.
Eventually I clawed my way up and landed a job with good pay and great health insurance. Regardless those few years where I was uninsured scared me so much... I worry about those who don't have adequate coverage and aren't fortunate enough to move up in the workplace. It's a nerve wracking place to be.
Everyone should be taken care of. Period. Nobody should have to make a choice between keeping a roof over their head or having health insurance.
Mental illness is a real thing.
I used to think that people who claimed to have an anxiety disorder were mostly exaggerating and crying for attention. Then I moved away for an internship one summer and got to walk a mile in their shoes. I knew no one where I was living, and ended up isolating myself. Symptoms crept in one at a time, and while I never reached a point where I felt it absolutely necessary to seek professional help I did get pretty close.
Going from feeling generally comfortable in my own skin to constantly worrying about what you've screwed up and what you're going to screw up next is a terrible feeling. Not being able to sleep a wink despite being exhausted for nights on end is something I don't ever want to experience again either. It made my performance at that job horrendous. Luckily I spend enough time on the internet to stumble across really inspiring people and sources that helped me fix my situation. Others aren't quite so lucky, and have to work 10x as hard to battle through it
Forming your own opinions is very important.
GiphyI was brought up by a mother who hates tattoos and piercings. Now, my mom is super accepting and non judgmental, she just doesn't like them and hates the thought of them on her precious children. My dad likes them but only has one, my younger sisters baby footprints on his shoulder blade. She still wasn't in love with it. So I always hated them too.
Even a woman I dated for several years wanted to get one and I cringed but am not the controlling type so I rolled with it. Actually kind of didn't hate it. Then sort of liked it. We split and I made a good friend who was a tattoo artist and piercer. On a dare and a little pressure from him and some friends, I had him pierce my tongue. I loved it.
Then dated a few women with more and bigger tattoos than I would ever had thought I'd be into. Turns out? I don't have a problem with tattoos, MOM had a problem with tattoos and I was indoctrinated! Now, I LOVE girls with (good) ink. Like it's one of my biggest turn ons. But, I still didn't want any myself. Ended up getting my ear pierced later on too.
Then finally met a couple in Dallas at a brewery in Deep Ellum and made friends with them. They seemed to have some money and when they found out that I didn't have any tattoos, the guy told me that we are all going across the street right then to get one. He gave me a $150 limit. I had way too many tatted up friends who would kill me for passing up a free tattoo. So I took the leap. Something maybe five inches long on my shoulder blade that came out to $148.
Well, it's over. I've got the bug. I want more than my wallet will allow but I'm already planning my second. I LOVE them and mom has had to get over it, needless to say. But hey, I softened the blow for my brother, who wants any more than I would ever want. Two full sleeves at least. Sorry ma!
A good watch.
I was a firm believer that the death penalty was reasonable in certain circumstances as a deterrent/punishment.
Then my partner and I watched through the show Penn & Teller Bullshit. One of the episodes was about the death penalty. It's like 45 minutes long, and by the end of it, my opinion on the death penalty had completely and irrevocably changed and I am 100% against it under any circumstances now.
I have never had my mind changed so thoroughly on something in such a short time. Highly recommend people go watch that episode.
That's some maturity right there.
GiphyI used to be really against any form of sexuality. Grew up in a home that I was taught it was bad. So I was one of those girls who thought sex workers/openly sexual women were less than.
Well, I ended up getting cheated on with a cam girl. Started to cam just to prove I could do it, then saw how sweet a lot of the girls were. Also that the job wasn't solely sexual, talking to some of my regulars gave them enough confidence to approach women in person.
Valuable lesson.
On the other side of the coin...
I became a bit more nihilistic but also more hardline on lawbreaking. I am now pro-capital punishment for the worst offenders. I used to strongly believe in life sentences as the worst punishment, as prisoners would have to live with their mistakes until they died. However, I didn't think it was our place to kill them.
But now, if you're a psychopathic serial killer, you deserve to die. This world doesn't need you and the legal system has the authority, in my opinion, to rid the world of evil people that act upon their cruel intents.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/