Redditor ThatYoungsterSltwanted to drink all the tea about workplace craziness, they asked:
"What is the small scale work drama happening in your office right now?"
We are here for it all. No detail or issue is too small. Speak up y'all...
Thief
"Someone's been eating people's sandwiches at work. They only get the sandwiches too. I'm legit invested in this because i wanna know.... why just the sandwiches?"
crispylilchickenwang
sandwich maria GIF by SubwayMXGiphyBedlam
"I guess this isn't small scale but fits the drama side; We've just received our pay increase and bonus figures for the year except HR sent a number of letters to the wrong people. Some of whom work together, doing the same job, but with different rates of pay and bonuses. Bedlam."
No_Sugar8791
Bad Play
"The playstation got stolen. For f**ks sake. We used to do an F1 tournament every Friday but the Playseat ain't no fun without a playstation. I will find out who the f**ker was."
Disappointless
"https://www.reddit.com/r/PS4/comments/2bcgf6/any_way_to_track_a_stolen_ps4/cj457m2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 Check this out, might help."
Itchysasquatch
Takeover
"My coworker was texting my old number thinking it was me asking if I could cover a shift. The person who took over my old number replied to her saying 'gargle on my b**ls' or something like that. I almost got fired for it."
liquid4618
"My sister was in a study group in school, and a guy from the group texted her to tell her when they were meeting up. He texted a wrong number, and the person replied 'won’t be able to make it, I have explosive diarrhea.'"
introvertissue
And Spoons?
"There are not enough forks in the staffroom. Some people are getting quite upset."
robohyeah
mark hamill forks GIFGiphyI'm living for it all. I work from home so my greatest dramas are with my dogs. Tell me more...
You or Me
"Minor downsizing means the two of us on temp contracts will have to reapply for a single post at the end of the year, so one of us stays and one of us goes."
MerylSquirrel
bad guys wolf GIFGiphySneaky, sneaky...
"Tom and Marie think they're being sneaky with their liaisons. They are not."
nsap200
"We had a Tom and Marie in the office. Everyone knew they were banging but they thought they were being slick and sly. Lead to his divorce and now they spend half the day at each other's desks."
TheBeardedSingleMalt
Drama & Tea
"Someone was pulled in to HR today about keeping their personal life away from work due to lots of recent over-sharing. The air was thick with tension as this person remained silent for the rest of the day. Absolutely everything. All of the dirt for the years leading up to their divorce that was finalized last summer, everything from current sex life to (unsolicited) announcement of her reproductive status. Constant discussion of private conversations with her kids and what’s going on with them (teens asking about sex etc)."
"Not only will she share these conversations with other adults but also has been heard having these conversations with the young teen kids who help us out around our shop as part time workers. The moment you drop a cordial 'Hi, how are you?' You get days worth of drama and tea. I’ve stopped talking with her other than work related conversations."
M0ck_duck
Miserable
"One of my coworkers came in 3 minutes late Monday of last week and my other coworker has been pissy at her since."
FairieButt
"Oh God, I once got called in to a meeting with the boss since she'd had a complaint that I'd left at 4.59pm the day before, instead of 5pm. The fact that I came in 30-60mins early every single day was never even taken into consideration. Quit that job, it was miserable anyway."
ishouldcoco1
The List
"The old manager wrote a list of pros and cons for each employee for the new manager. She left it out where it could easily be read. There are 3-5 cons for each person and 1-2 pros. She hasn’t left yet. Everyone now hates her."
Pantsyo_dog
fashion choose GIFGiphyFB Issues
"A guy was made redundant at work over a year ago and he still laugh reacts to every post the company makes on Facebook."
Queen_Of_Cat_Island
"Before I came to my current company, there was apparently a HUGE dustup involving the head of the company and his right hand lady. They still come in and comment on Facebook posts (they’ve both been gone over two years) with salty comments."
nomadicfangirl
We found out they could!
"I teach. Our team (teachers of the same grade level) is going to send home colored paper note sheets for parents to write encouraging comments to their students for state testing coming up. We want it to be a surprise for the students. We decided to try to see if the office could give us half size manilla envelopes to use. We found out they could! (Very exciting as a teacher to get office supplies)!"
"The secretary went into the locked closet to get us some envelopes. Another grade level team found out that we got envelopes from the office. Now THEY want envelopes because it’s not 'fair' that we got envelopes and they didn’t. That’s the drama. Plus, one teacher that basically hates kids and her job and maybe everyone else will finally retire next year (but we all were hoping it would happen sooner)."
eastcoastme
Damn it Dora!
"We have a shared spreadsheet, someone keeps changing the filters, but no one will own up to it!"
MarioCarter
"Okay I can relate to this. People kept messing with my numbers in my sheet and while I asked for mine to be locked I got denied 'in case you’re not around.' In the same breath I was told I need to have accurate numbers. It’s not my fault Dora keeps touching my stuff!"
NOT PLEASED
"They're installing new furniture and people are NOT PLEASED about the new floor/seating plan."
ConanApproves
"I have personally been in charge or ordering furniture for an office of four individuals. I went in all bright eyed and bushy tailed with my clipboard to have talk about what they wanted. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life."
bloodymongrel
The Fall
"Our operations manager fell through the ceiling of the conference room. He wasn't invited to the meeting and wanted to listen in."
Charming-Wallaby-602
cat falls GIFGiphyInked Out
"So last October our printer ran out of ink. More had already been ordered but with covid running rampant at the time the shipment was super delayed. One of my coworkers got really shitty over the fact that she couldn’t print the reports in the department and instead had to go upstairs to print them. She claimed that since I was the supervisor (I’m not) that I should’ve be the one to go up and print them despite the fact that it was 4am and my shift doesn’t start until 7am. She still isn’t talking to me."
FrostedFishbone
My two-cents...
"We have a jigsaw puzzle on one of the spare desks to give people the opportunity to sit down for 5 minutes and de-stress. However, there's a piece of this puzzle missing and everyone is pointing fingers at each other and trying to work out who has stolen/hidden the piece. My two-cents is that it's just a missing piece, but it's fun to sit and watch the madness unfold."
Naughty
"My boss has been sleeping with a married sergeant and a new boy fresh out of the academy. Neither know about the other. She just found out she's pregnant."
haroyne
New York Reaction GIF by NBAGiphyWe See You!
"We have a serial toilet clogger. Some bitch uses a half a roll of toilet paper to wipe her ass and clogs the damn toilet at least twice a week. It's gotten so bad that the poor maintenance man had signs made up that say 'Please flush after 2 wipes.' Apparently, she can't read, because it keeps happening."
april_minx2001
We need some "to be continued..." for a few of these. I love tea.
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Twitter user delia paunescu (@deliap) is the hero of the day. She's clearly been working with plenty of office life's most wishy-washy divas lately.
i've recently become obsessed with all the insane corporate ways we say normal things to each other. "I’m a little… https://t.co/HKWzdrTJVF— delia paunescu (@delia paunescu) 1580313802.0
Apparently plenty of other people have at least noticed the very unique vernacular of corporate life, as just over 21,000 replies proves.
Or perhaps "noticed" doesn't quite get at the heart of these repliers' emotions. Perhaps "seethed" is better.
Or maybe "interpreted with horror" is more accurate.
After all, this passive aggression isn't about dishes in the apartment. Healthcare benefits, Paid Family Leave and Casual Friday's are on the line here, people.
This one—the fake apology with a left hook—is a classic.
@delia_p @mattdpearce “I’m sorry; I think my email/statement probably wasn’t clear. Hopefully this helps” = you’re… https://t.co/gjFl0adD0I— Naima Cochrane (@Naima Cochrane) 1580325817.0
@delia_p Maybe not insufferable but I absolutely love how “per my last email” is code for “do you even know how to f’ing read?”— Briana McDougall (@Briana McDougall) 1580315280.0
How does one gently remind a superior that they do, in fact, exist?
@delia_p “I wanted to follow up” - you forgot didn’t you? Didn’t you? Am I a joke to you?!— Jamie Keller (@Jamie Keller) 1580317450.0
@delia_p “As previously discussed” = I didn’t put in writing last time because I thought you were an adult.— Mitch Dinkins (@Mitch Dinkins) 1580317855.0
@delia_p "Thank you for your feedback! I'll be sure to keep it in mind!" <- your criticism is completely irrelevant… https://t.co/ABhnDZoolb— FerretXilla (@FerretXilla) 1580317548.0
Never good when your boss begins an email with a sentence containing no verbs.
@delia_p "A few things" !!!!!!! You done it now !!!!— Leah (@Leah) 1580317216.0
And, for some gentle office drama resolution...
@delia_p I have nightmares about hearing "Team, let's make sure we're all aligned."— Samantha Rosen (@Samantha Rosen) 1580318096.0
@baddestmamajama/Twitter
@delia_p “We’ll table that for now” and “let’s sidebar” are fun ways to get shut down in a group chat— Aoife “Fe” Baker 🦕🐯🧠🌈 (@Aoife “Fe” Baker 🦕🐯🧠🌈) 1580322214.0
Well this one is just plain aggressive.
"This should be more of a listening session for you" is the nicest way I've ever been told to shut the hell up. https://t.co/3UkoNzTOdG— Jackson Lanzing writes weird. (@Jackson Lanzing writes weird.) 1580322665.0
"i was under the impression that ..." which is my professional way of saying that you are not only wrong, but addit… https://t.co/ND06AoLXkJ— kylie 🌸 (@kylie 🌸) 1580324693.0
@delia_p @UrsulaV Stealing from somewhere but it’s true: “I hope this helps!”=never ask me for anything ever again— Lala Escargot, collector of curses 🎉 (@Lala Escargot, collector of curses 🎉) 1580317568.0
This one here provides some passive aggression in real time.
@delia_p @UrsulaV Two from this very morning: “Thanks for looping me in” = You should’ve come to me 27 emails ago… https://t.co/6neeDnW3qM— Hipster Viking Amy (@Hipster Viking Amy) 1580318485.0
@delia_p "Just to clarify" = I'm gonna ask this question again, simpler this time, so you can see exactly how stupi… https://t.co/LxqAu7ByZx— Charlie Bressler (@Charlie Bressler) 1580329215.0
Quite sure the dynamics of email introductions will elude everyone forever...
@delia_p "While I understand your urgency..." = "Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."— Bärí A. Williams (@Bärí A. Williams) 1580328016.0
@delia_p 'In the future, please correspond directly with (..) on this issue' = Do not, I repeat, do not message me… https://t.co/dx1dqgKFRW— Chevron Summers (@Chevron Summers) 1580330361.0
High marks to this one for using the word "minions."
@delia_p “Give the details to my associate.” Read: You’re too insignificant for my time, but just important eno… https://t.co/k8GbnkN2W5— Jack Lynx (@Jack Lynx) 1580329081.0
@delia_p "Has the policy changed recently?"= I know the policy, and maybe you should try reading it.— Tepid Librarian (@Tepid Librarian) 1580337943.0
The long con...
@delia_p “What I would say is....” = I am in fact about to give you my opinion on something, but first I’ll preface… https://t.co/749bEd2Gee— Martin Wahl (@Martin Wahl) 1580405108.0
It feels relevant to close with this scene from the 2007 film Charlie Wilson's War.
Besides the insane hair and glasses, note how Philip Seymour Hoffman's character has zero interest whatsoever in email niceties.
Direct confrontation is important for reducing office conflict. But no one is recommending you throw a chair through a glass window.
Maybe a phone call or a face to face would do the job?