"What's the most obvious hint a girl was interested in you but you missed all the signs?"
If She Wanted To "Study" She Would Have Stayed In The Living Room
"I was invited to her apartment to study on a Saturday night."
"After a little, she closed her door, we were on her bed."
"And we studied a little more until I left."- tryggvi747
Read Beauty And The Beast GIFGiphyBody Heat, Maybe?
"My now wife gives me sh*t about this all the time so it's safe to share here."
"Back when we were dating, it was a cold winter's night and she texted that she was cold and if there was anything I could do to warm her up."
"I offered to plastic seal her windows."
"Yeah I totally missed that pitch."- rcowie
Love And Basketball...
"I ran into a girl who I knew a little through some friends."
"We were talking and she randomly asked if I wanted to play one-on-one basketball with her that afternoon."
"I had nothing else to do, so I said yes."
"We walked to her place to pick up a ball and for her to get changed."
"In her room, she handed me the basketball and then started undressing."
"I excused myself outside the door while she changed."
"She then held conversation with me while she got dressed in my line of sight."
"Then she asked 'So do you want to go, or... ?'"
"And oblivious me said 'Yeah, sure, let's shoot some hoops'."
"In hindsight, there was a lot of one-sided flirting on the court and afterward she again invited me to her place to cool down."
"But I declined, as I was sweaty and I went home to shower."- elevenghosts
Sanaa Lathan Movie GIF by filmeditorGiphyWait For It...
"Looked up at me while clinging to my arm and stating, 'I could definitely see myself dating someone like you'."
"My brain was like, 'Neat! Maybe one day I'll find a girl who wants to go out with me after all!'"
"She continued this rather affectionate clinging for about a week, constantly holding on to my arm and making puppy dog eyes up at me."
"After that week, my friend asked her out and she accepted."
"They dated for two weeks before they discovered that they were blood-related first cousins."
"Then they continued dating for another week."- cascade_olympus
Good For Her For Being Confident?
"We had been hanging out for a bit and she was talking about how nice her t*ts were, she then follows it with 'maybe I should just show them to you'."
"'Oh no you don't need to do that!'"
"Luckily she really liked me and kept the press on for a few more weeks haha."
"We got married a few years later."- iamStanhousen
In Case You Wondered If It Really Impairs Your Judgement...
"My time to shine!"
"I was in college in the early 90's and sitting in my dorm room alone."
"I was high as hell."
"The hot girl down the hall that I had a crush on and spoke to occasionally came to my room and asked if I would watch her dance routine that was her final for her dance class."
"I was like 'sure' and went to her room."
"The room was dark except for some red lighting."
"I sat on the couch and she put on 'Enigma'."
"This was a VERY clear sign that I missed completely."
"She began her dance."
"She was in a unitard and I was totally hot for this girl."
"She did what I would now consider a personal lap dance for me."
"I was petrified with lust over the whole thing."
"When the song was over she came over to me, about 2 inches from my face sexy smiling and said, 'How was that?'"
"I looked at her and said, 'that was really cool, you'll do great', and left."
"I. LEFT."
"I walked back to my room and left."
"YEARS later I was driving my car to work, just daydreaming, like you do, and that memory popped up."
"I would have kicked myself had I been able to."- Luder714
Maybe She Would Have Been Better Off With 'Diego'?
"I was in a Starbucks in Argentina, and the girl taking my order asked my name to write on the cup."
"She didn't understand what I said, and when I picked the cup up, it said 'Diego', which isn't my name."
"Later that night I was chatting with a cute 20-something girl in the bar and I retold that story, and she looked at me with sultry eyes, her top slightly undone, and said something like 'what would Diego do with me tonight that <your name> wouldn't?'"
"It caught me completely off guard, and I said something stupid in return."
"It was like being in the final minutes of the Super Bowl, being tossed the game winning ball, only to fumble it in the end zone on live TV."
"I've lived with that regret a long time haha."
"What could have been."- tennyson77
They Got The Hint Eventually...
"Back in '84, I was working at this cool department store and this was this shy girl I'd chat it up with."
"I talk to anyone, so it was no big deal on my end."
"I was also a movie nut, so I'd say 'Hey, have you seen this or that?' and she'd give me an exasperated look and say 'No. No I haven't I need someone to go with'."
"I'd be like 'Ah, well, it's a good one'."
"We've been married for 33 years."- The68Guns
Nervous New Music GIF by *~ MIQUELA ~*GiphyThey Needed To Be More Into Themsleves!
"In high school a gorgeous girl sent me anonymous love letters."
"I later found out she was the one sending them."
"She also asked me out to this dinner banquet thing."
"We went, but I was so shy I barely said anything."
"She still sent me letters afterwards."
"I had really low self esteem, and made every excuse to myself that she wasn't into me."
"It was like she was holding up a neon sign that she likes me and i didn't do anything about it."- uncultured_swine2099
"Years ago, just chatting with a co-worker day to day, just everyday conversation."
"Then one day, after another normal chit chat passing time casual conversation, she heads out, turns around grabs a pen and she writes her number on my arm and says 'Dude! Call me!'."
"And walked away seemingly frustrated."
"I just kinda stood there with eyebrows raised, my brain turning gears and it clicked!"
"...Oooohh!"- nukomyx
A Joke About Rubbing Organs Is Just Too Obvious...
"As I played the organ, she would turn pages for me and brush her body against my back while moving from right to left behind the organ bench to grab the next page."
"I thought she was rubbing me due to tight quarters between my organ and the choir loft railing."- Back2Bach
Take Me Out To The Ballgame Baseball GIF by NCAA ChampionshipsGiphyIt's easy to kick yourself in the head for missing what might seem like obvious cues that someone was into you.
Though it's really nothing to be embarrassed about, as subtlety is lost on some.
Then too, it's worth mentioning that maybe the reason you missed the cues, is that you weren't into them?
All's fair in love and seduction...
I've never been to a nude beach. I've barely been to a beach. The sun is too hot and the sand too sandy. But y'all enjoy.
Yuck!
gross dumb and dumber GIFGiphy"Don't walk up to where me and my wife are sunbathing and stand in front of her. It's not cool."
0oITo0
EVERYWHERE!!
"Sunscreen, at regular intervals, on everything."
Anthroman78
"I was an 19 year old redhead at the nude beach; let me tell you what, the penis is the least of your concerns. Tops of your feet, butt crack and your hip bones. One Eyed Willy will be just fine."
ogwoody007
"Can I emphasize on 'everything.'"
Satanspit69
Oh Sandy...
"Try not to get sand in your vagina."
blueskysiii
"Good Lord you just reminded me that me and my cringy friends in high school formed a band. The name of said band? Sand in my Vagina."
WolverineJive_Turkey
"No lie, a lady in my town who writes for the local paper is named Sandy C**ch. I don't know how she's done it."
Key-Professor-2124
Rude!
"Don't say, 'Who's your friend with the small penis?'"
johncharityspring
"My father loves to tell the story when he took me to the sauna when I was like 7 (in Germany we go naked) and I asked him, very loudly, 'why does that man have such a small penis?'"
the-chosen0ne
Behave!
imacelebau behave GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy"Don't try to pick somebody's pocket."
SilentJoe1986
Don't steal. Rule #1. Why do people have or be like that?
Basics
Basic Basic Basic Netflix GIF by Queer EyeGiphy"Don’t do anything you already wouldn’t do at a regular beach."
Bepis_drinker_
Tented
"Don’t assume they’re horny just because it’s a nude beach. Even if you do, don’t act on it."
cantopay
"I usually go to a nude beach because it's closer and I don't mind it (people do whatever there) but there's always at least one tent trembling there so I refuse to believe that. I mean, I say tent but it's sticks holding 4 towels up. U can always see the feet under it or a head popping out. Before you ask more questions, Idk and I don't care, I'd just go to the further away and be at peace."
5amuraiDuck
Look Away
"Don't stare. That's actually good advice no matter the situation."
Aezetyr
"That is precisely why I've never gone to a nude beach because I would just stare at everyone, male or female. It baffles me that masse public nudity was once, in ancient times, considered acceptable. Edit: I DO NOT think it's wrong! It's just a culture shock and different for me. Sorry for the misunderstanding everyone!"
ShadowLancer128
Mind Yourself...
"Alright so you've got two major ones. Generally each beach has different rules, depending on the community that inhabits it; but usually they're very commonplace. Typical beach rules always apply; use sunscreen, swim safe, etc."
"Mind yourself. You're not the only one at the beach, and typically are not the only one out of their skivvies. Mind yourself and be respectful of others, and you will fit in fine."
"No sexual intercourse. You will often find people messing around in the dunes, no doubt. However, it's generally frowned upon to do so. Not to mention beach sex is only good in theory."
Rhodeo
Quiet!
hush GIF by Laugh FactoryGiphy"Avoid shouting "AROOOOGA!" with your eyes popping out of your head and tongue rolling out onto the floor like a fruit roll. It's considered impolite."
proximalfunk
How can I pay?
"I was at a nude beach in Jamaica and one of the resort employees broke the rules in my opinion: he approached, and offered to sell me weed. 1) my penis is hanging in the wind - leave me alone. 2) I don’t have a wallet. 3) I don’t have viable pockets. Wtf."
potentiallyhardtruth
Kindness
"Be friendly! Seriously, at my local nude beach people bring lots of extra snacks and gear because it's a long long long walk from the snack bar to the sand, I'm sure it's done on purpose to keep the nudes in seclusion, but it means you need to really pack properly, sunscreen, food, water, a little bag for your trash."
"All of which I have shared with people and had people share with me... Sometimes total strangers. Being naked isn't inherently sexual, it's fun and freeing and can be a good lead up to sex, but masturbating, f**king on the beach, and/ or making excessive lewd comments etc is not going to get you the good kind of attention."
WitchyBabyGirl
Look Here
"Always eye to eye contact."
cynicalyak
"I have a hard time making eye contact and look around a lot anyways and I I’ll look at the persons shirt on occasion which I’m sure makes me look a little pervy anyways, I can’t imagine at a nude beach how that would go over."
tamrielsavage
"So you're not supposed to look at people's bodies. But what's the point of going to a public nude beach if you don't want people to look at your body and you don't want to look at other people's bodies?"
schapman22
Leave It
Giphy"No animal absconding. Only leave with the crabs you came with."
J_David_Settle_1973
"As a non native speaker, but almost fluent, this post is amazing. Though I hate the fact that 90% of my friends whose English is also a second or third language, wont understand the word play. Such shame."
OgisKushas
No Proof
"No pictures."
DORFSCHLACHTER
"Well I once was on a beach in France with my parents, and my mom was taking some pics of me surfing. Then out of nowhere a man in his 60/70s comes into the sea and doesn't even try to stay out of the picture."
"It looked more like he was trying to get on the picture. It wasn't a nude beach, but you say some nude people still. So nude people weren't uncommon to see in the sea but them going wherever the camera goes."
emier06
First Timers
"I’m American. My wife’s German. First time I went to a nude beach, her whole family proceeded to play volleyball. I was fine laying there nude with them but volleyball is kinda where I drew the line. Growing up as a Mormon in Utah (not Mormon now) I had mixed thoughts on it but I’ve always been more open minded with things (hence not being Mormon now)."
"It was a little strange the first initial clothes removal but you quickly forget that and you’re just at the beach. Kids and all. As long as you’re not sexualizing it, it’s totally normal and quite liberating actually. Playing volleyball with them in the nude was a little weird tho."
noradam22
Listen
"Most of them are very similar to regular beaches. I’ve been to a couple. They can be fun. If I’m laying on the beach listening to music I don’t want 60 year old dude coming up and chatting with me. Doesn’t matter if I’m in a bikini or my tits are out."
lesbomommy
Be Mature
"Don't stare or ogle, and also don't interact with people if you don't have the decency to go nude too. A few years back my partner and I were at a nude beach, and some creepy older dude tried to talk to us- then asked us for a beer (we brought a six pack with us.) I told him we ran out, even though we definitely had a couple left."
"He was wearing full clothes, and he tried to bother a couple of other people too. Then there are the families that walk through fully clothed acting like it is some sort of freak show. Please... if you don't have the maturity to deal with it, don't show up at all."
westcoastpizzarat
Be Cool
Calm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy"It’s a nude beach, not a public orgy. Don’t be a pervert."
AndyJaeven
So keep these rules close when you find yourself naked at a beach.
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