Redditor mountcoffee wanted everyone to discuss how we decipher the people are awful, so they asked:
"What are your minor red flags that you use see as a subtle but very indicative sign the other person is an a**hole?"
I give too many people the benefit of the doubt.
I need to discuss more red flags.
Nothing
Awkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them."
BRS023
"Major red flag, and it’s easy to tell if you get them out of a professional environment."
bowtrout
We make mistakes
"Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me."
Taiyo_K
"Well, there can be layers to it. My kids struggle mightily to ever admit fault and just apologize to each other when they’ve done something wrong. They think there’s some huge shame involved and for some reason it’s tough to shake them of that. Really, it’s the easiest thing in the world to say you’re sorry and move on, and they’re only slowly getting that."
Mikesaidit36
Repairs
"When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc. people who have a capacity for self-reflection and owning their mistakes tell stories where they’re a**holes. Further, they’re able to talk about what they’d do differently or what they’ve learned, and how they took steps to repair the relationships. Never being at fault, always being the victim, and not taking responsibility for repair are huge red flags."
MrsDarcy1983
Talk Crap
"When they talk crap behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that."
EchoSpecial87
"I used to be in a group chat with a bunch of people who did exactly this at least once a week,. I genuinely believe a lot of people who use said fakea** sticky sweet personalities are doing it to soften the blow if someone actually has a problem with em. Because they think 'Ooooh but they're so nice! this is just a minor blemish on a really kind person' to someone who would throw them in the car crusher because their ac was too loud."
TheRockingGoomba
Guys and girls... you're all a mess...
The Company
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"What their friends are also like and how they interact with others/other people."
nazeem_ihateyou
Be Nice
"The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions."
"HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior."
AnybodySeeMyKeys
Talk to me...
"I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them."
DonJuanDingdong
"Some people forget that a conversation is a two way street."
Pass_the_Lasagna
The Game
romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy"In an office environment, overly kissing all the managers a**es so they'll let them cut corners all the while calling other people out on minor things. They know how the game works."
psycharious
Slammed!
"When they know someone is behind them, but don't hold the door open. Just let it slam. Or don't say please & thanks to service workers. I understand sometimes missing the opportunity, but when it is consistent, I have been known to say something."
PokerQuilter
Look for the signs... they are there.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.
"no it's okay my darling"
gordon ramsay masterchef GIFGiphyA lot of redditors mention Gordon Ramsay being lovely.
My godsister can confirm. She worked at a hotel restaurant in Cornwall where Ramsay vacations at regularly. She was so nervous she spilt something but he just gave her a really fatherly warm smile and went "no it's okay my darling" and continued on with his conversation.
When I was a kid, my family took a trip to London and we were shopping in Harrod's. Being the kid I was, I was running around while my parents shopped. I ran up to this man, looked up and said "you look REAAAAAAAALLY familiar. Have we met?" And he flashes a smile and says "no, but I get that a lot" and then he walks off. My dad came right over and went "... you do realize that was mr bean you just spoke to right?"
Good Ole Louie....
Lewis Black is freaking awesome. I was in Vegas with some buddies Veterans Day weekend and we spotted him playing craps. I stood near him and watched because a) it's Lewis friggin Black and b) I've never played craps so I had no idea what was going on. He noticed me, asked if I knew how to play. I said I didn't and he immediately spent $200 teaching me how to play craps and wouldn't let me put any of my own money down since I was learning.
We chatted, he asked what we were doing in Vegas and we mentioned celebrating the Marine Corps birthday and Veterans Day. He thanked us profusely for our service and asked if we wanted tickets to his show the following night. I'm a bigger fan than my friends were so I said yes I'd love to come see his show. He said he would leave tickets for me at will call. My sister met up with me the next day and we were super pumped about the show, but joked that it was too good to be true and there wouldn't actually be tickets waiting for us.
Sure enough, Lewis Black is a man of his word and left me four free tickets at will call, and not only that but they were good tickets, like third row center. He put on a great show and I will forever enthusiastically support him. He made great conversation, was patient and kind teaching me to gamble on his own dime, and kept his promise of tickets for me. A+ guy, despite his angry ranting comedic style.
Opposites....
I met Leonard Nemoy at different times. Leonard was incredibly cool. He was giving a talk at the place where I work and we all knew he was coming so we sat at a table outside near the entrance so we could see when he arrived. His security people led him from the car to the building and we said hello as he passed.
They took him inside to a private green room to relax before he went on. To our surprise, after the handlers dropped him off at the green room he came back outside, sat down with us and just hung out, we talked about food and cool places to see nearby. We just chatted like he was one of the crew. Class act guy. One of the neatest celebrity encounters I've had.
Oh course he is....
sexy jeff goldblum GIFGiphyI don't think anyone one would be surprised that Jeff Goldblum is nice, but I can attest to it.
I was an extra in a movie with him. When he arrived on the scene, some nasty film crew woman was screaming at us not to bother him or ask for his autograph (which none of us had done). He must have heard her, because he turned right around and came over to talk to us.
Movie Marathon
Back when they were filming Lord of the Rings all the hobbits: Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins), Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee), Billy Boyd (Peregrin Took), and Dominic Monaghan (Meriadoc Brandybuck), came into my mom's video store and wanted to rent all of Peter Jacksons movies. They were so excited to have a movie marathon I thought it was super cute.
Edit: They were nice. :)
Hey Girl....
Paris Hilton - I didn't meet her in person. But I worked for an airline answering phones as a supervisor. She called in to change her itinerary on New year's Day years ago when she was very much in the public eye. It would have been about 3:00 a.m. where she was, and I could hear the party going on in the background. She was my very first call of the morning where I was on the east coast. 7:00 a.m.
I was hungover as hell, and in no mood to be at work. She was absolutely the nicest person to deal with. She was really sweet and patient, she made small talk while I changed her reservation and seemed genuinely kind. I was pleasantly surprised.
Hey Hugh
Its pretty well established that he's nice, but Hugh Jackman is one of the nicest human beings I've ever encountered.
A friend of mine went to the premiere of X-Men Origins Wolverine and they camped out by the theater, he said he woke up and he was told that Hugh Jackman had bought everyone who camped breakfast. It was a little breakfast sandwich and an orange juice I believe, he also said there was at least 100 people there.
Staying Fresh
Will Smith Applause GIFGiphyWill Smith
I worked a private event for him a couple years back. He made sure to thank each and every employee when he arrived and before he left. He had the best manners and was in such a jovial mood, joking around with the staff. Great guy.
Wicked Nice
Met Vincent Price when I was a kid. He was speaking at the college where my parents worked and since our house was next to the auditorium we usually hosted the meet and greets. I was only supposed to be allowed in with the grownups long enough to say hello but when I blurted out how much I liked scary movies he stopped to talk. He was extraordinarily patient and kind to a nine year old kid who just wanted to talk monster movies and show off his monster dioramas.
Good AL
weird al yankovic stare GIFGiphyI work in the film industry.
Weird Al is insanely freaking nice. Like, you ask him for a photo and he'll make a 10 second video for your dad nice.
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