Redditor Famous_Assistance683 was eager to know what exactly people who linger in the shower are really up to, leading them to ask:
"People who take the longest time in the shower, what the hell do you do in there?"
I just don't want to get out!
"Mostly think about how miserable it will feel to get out of the shower."- 14-stars
It just takes that long to get clean!
"Wash away the dirt: 5 mins."
"Wash away the pain: 45mins."- Overall_Outcome_392
Daydreaming
"Thinking about random situations that will probably never happen."- Dyl-thuzad
"Some ppl my think I play with myself since I take really long showers, but in reality i just stare into nothing and everything at the same time and lose track of time while thinking about stuff I would never think anywhere else."- ClaraSG
It's a safety issue!
"I suck at shaving my legs in a timely fashion. oops."- SwagLordious420
"Shaving my entire body."- AnnaTraaa
It's all about the hair...
"Anyone with long curly hair is detangling it."- Krombuchar2
"Hair sh*t."
"I started growing out my hair like 5 months ago, and the longer it is the more of a pain it is to take care of."
"I’m getting better with it, but I was never really taught how to take care of long hair so it’s hard."-
GiphyIt's easy to let our curiosity get the best of us.
But then we all must remember, whatever people get up to in private is none of our business.
Detective work isn't all fun and games. While many are entertained by a good mystery book, movie, or show, real life crime can be extremely disturbing. Some detective are unlucky enough to be faced with cases so violent and scary that it stays with them forever.
Redditor u/ThunderPheonix21 asked detectives to share the creepiest cases they've worked on, and professionals in the field did not disappoint.
20. A whole new warrant
"A lot of my work is actually based on cell phone dumps. I once got a request from a Detective to dump a guys phone because he was attempting to sell our county jail jumpsuit...
Problem was, there was way more on the phone that what we had bargained for. Turns out the guy was REALLY into under-aged girls. To the point that he had thousands of images of CP on the device. So I called the detective up and informed him that he was going to need another warrant to cover the CP for the device. So he did, and began creating a CP case against the guy."
19. A love triangle
"I once got a case spying on a lady's husband. She thought he is cheating on her. Wanted the proof to present before judge in court. While investigating I found the husband cheating on the wife with HER boyfriend! Both were having an affair with the same guy. Needless to say I minted money from all the three. PS. The boyfriend was also their divorce attorney!"
18. A crazy fetish
"Some guy was killing women by making them explode just right so he could keep the hands, he had a fetish with them."
17. This poor woman...
"Not a detective... but my uncle was a cop... Essentially they got a call to a house... the neighbour's had called the police and told them there was a strong Odour coming from the apartment next door. They got a little worried... as this was an older woman, who only really left her home for essentials...
Police get there... after many times knocking and calling... no answer. So they had the landlord unlock her door... they weren't necessarily thinking she was dead initially.... not sure how.. it's seems fairly obvious...
hey get inside, and the odour is just awful.. like burnt hair and cooked meat..."
"The woman was taking a shower... she went to adjust the heat to be more hot... she slipped and fell on a loofah that was on the floor of the bath. And hit her head on the tap... somehow in the fall she managed to turn the heat tap WAY to much.
Essentially... she passed out. And then died from brain hemorrhaging... and then the hot shower boiled her.... the hot water was running on her for about a day and a half."
16. Life is so short...
"Girl stopped breathing in her bed, potential suffocation murder.
Turned out to just be a lung failure but it still creeped me out."
15. The mole people
"Insurance adjuster here. I'm not a detective, but I do lots of fraud investigations. The ones that aren't fraudulent sometimes just turn out to be really weird. The winner for me hands down is the man who claimed he was terrorized by mole people...
My in-person interview was about two hours. I had more than enough in the first five minutes and was trying to leave for most of it, but he kept blocking the door or directing me to wrong way to keep the mole people off my scent. It was kind of sweet in a twisted way; he genuinely thought the mole people would come after me if I didn't follow his rules.
He directed me to park ye olde company car about a mile away on a concrete parking flat he had made. We couldn't walk on the dirt road there; the mole people constantly changed where it went. The claims he filed were all in similar veins.
We decided there was no fraud, but a call to adult protective services was merited."
14. A terrible accident
"Detective here, attached to a coastal town with a fishing wharf. Started work one day when we get a call from the water police who have responded to a abandoned boat floating off the coast. They have towed it into the bay where they requested our assistance and they would advise us further on arrival.
We head down thinking someone had stolen the boat or something else routine. When we get there we are told that no one went further than the enterance before it was sealed off as a crime scene. We have a quick look below the deck and see why..."
"3 people, clearly dead with one slumped over the wheel one on the floor and the other in a chair. No struggle, no injuries and nothing out of place. Completely silent other than the water on the hull and the fenders squeaking against the police launch.
Turned out to be an accident. Lack of upkeep on the very old engine meant fumes leaked in and the 3 were poisoned, at which point the engine just ran until the diesel was gone."
13. This close call
"Someone dumped a body in an alley right by the PD, but in a spot that no one frequented. So after a few days in mid-summer heat the body melted so bad they couldn't ID by looks or tattoos, just the clothes and hair, and DNA once they figured out who she was.
Long story short it was a serial killer who had dumped her, and they found CCTV of him stalking people at the local shopping center right after he dumped the body. They watched him spend over four hours walking around, leaving to his car and changing clothes/hat and going back in, following women for a bit, changing his mind... He left empty handed, and ended up getting caught a couple states away the following week.
Creepiest part for me was that I went shopping there the same day."
12. A story from Michigan
"My teacher was a detective and he told our class that one case that he wish he got but his partner or friend or something like that did it was called jack in the box and this guys wife killed her husband with help from some dude and then they put him in a locker and burnt him if your in Michigan you've probably heard of it"
11. This is horrifying
"I was working midnights in a neighborhood with a high violent crime rate, and we got sent to a dispute at a bar... We make our way through the bar systematically booting people out, and get to the bathrooms. I open the door to the men's room and it's empty (single stall bathrooms). My female partner goes to open the women's bathroom door but it's locked. She knocks on the door and a female says, 'I'll be out in a minute.'... Female partner knocks on the door again and the female agrees to open the door. When she comes out, we ask her what took so long..."
"She's not providing any substance in her answers. She's wearing tight yoga pants, and we notice that she has a large bulge in the back of her pants/crotch... When we question her about it, she's very evasive and won't answer us. Female partner begins to search her. As she pulls back the female's pants and shines her flashlight down to look, my partner says, '****!' She sees a baby arm sticking out from the female's vagina and up through her ass cheeks. This chick had been drinking and smoking crack all day. She had a stillborn and continued to stay at the bar and drink/smoke crack."
10. That's not a turtle...
"A buddy of mine worked on this
He said there was this guy who liked to shoot turtles on a pond on his property. He sees a turtle and shoots it 2 times with a .22 rifle. He had a hunting dog that would go fetch the turtles. He would make turtle soup with them
The dog goes out and gets the turtle and an arm pops up. The 'turtle' he shot was the back of the mans head who was dead in the pond."
9. Someone was watching
"My brother, not me. I usually tell this long and dramatic, but here is the quick to the punch version.
Schizophrenic woman reported being watched by ghosts at the abandoned funeral home...
Turned out when investigating, someone (or something. dum dum dum) was actually watching the people in her building and keeping crude log books of their coming and goings and left some of them in the place. My brother's theory was that they were discovered / almost discovered and fled."
8. That's a ton of money for cartoon porn
"I had a client whose employee had used the company account for payments to a graphic designer. Except instead of marketing materials, he had commissioned $15k worth of Loli and Sonic porn."
7. Sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock movie
"My boyfriend was the detective in this case. An officer doing a wellness check on an elderly woman spoke with her son. He said she was out at the moment, but she was doing well. He spoke in detail about what she was up to lately and all that. The officer noticed a strong smell coming from the yard though. I'm sure you see where this is going, as I don't think pretending a deceased relative alive to keep receiving their benefits is uncommon..."
"The officer turned the case over to a detective (my boyfriend), who returned with a warrant. There were two houses. A main house, and a small apartment-style house in the back yard where the mother once lived. When they entered, the son seemed calm. Showed them right to the mother. Continued to speak as if she was still alive and well. In the bed, they found the body, that had clearly been there for a long time. It was like a putrid puddle. The stench was unbearable. The son adamantly refused that she was dead. Insisting she had just been up and around the main house yesterday."
6. A surprise in the basement
"They were undercover in a mob and gathered enough evidence to search a house the guys used a lot - the search led them to a basement filled with water halfway up the stairs. They shone flashlights and didn't see anything at first, then saw something glinting in the water. They turned to go up the stairs to get a brighter light and along the walls and the door frame were gouges, the back of the door too. They got their bright lights and went back down and it turns out the bad guys had 2 crocodiles in there and when someone pissed them off they put them in the basement and locked the door. Gouges had skin particles in them."
5. A mystery tenant
"A friend of mine grew up in a big family house with her immediate family plus an uncle and grandparents. Sometimes her and her brother would wake up with things written on their faces in permanent text. Just random phrases nothing too shocking. The kids were about 8 or 9 years old, they both denied doing it and no one looked any further into it.
Anyway eventually the uncle is killed in his bed, stabbed to death. The police investigate and it turns out there's a dude living in their roof."
4. Cannibalism on the lawn
"We had a case where a guy killed 5 -6 members of his family and when the police came to the scene he was eating one of his family members on the front lawn, I suppose to get their strength."
3. How was this not in the news?
"I used to work with a retired LAPD beatcop of 30 years in his retirement funmoney gig working on an ambulance. He told me this story that sent chills down my spine.
He pulls over this sedan for expired tags, and neither the driver or passenger has any paperwork, driving illegally and they're both acting shady as ****, so he calls for backup, detains them, and searches the car....
He finds two dead young teenage girls in the trunk. They're naked, bound, and gagged and had been mutilated, and there was tons of devices obviously meant for torture..."
"He calls in the homicide detectives, and the cavalry comes, the two guys are hauled away to jail, and his day wraps up after all the normal procedures and paperwork has been filed.
And he says that was the last he ever heard of that case. Nothing. No subpoenas. No testimony to a grand jury. No interviews for the homicide detectives. No stories in the paper. NOTHING."
2. This killer wanted to be Dr. Frankenstein
"My dad was a detective and told me and my siblings briefly about a case where a killer would take a different part of each body. He had collected two legs, a torso, and one arm. His motive was that he wanted someone to play with."
1. A psycho with big plans
"Private investigator here. Looking into a liability stabbing case. They were blaming the apartment complex for the resident getting stabbed by another resident. Turns out the dude was planning a mass shooting and was part of multiple right wing white supremacist groups, Trump 2020 guy, wanted to attach a gun to a drone and kill a ton of people. Instead, he was so racist he couldn't help but stab his black neighbor before he pulled it off. His social media was essentially a manifesto and the cops found a bunch of firearms laid out, fully loaded and ready to go. I feel bad for the neighbor but their getting stabbed likely saved multiple people's lives."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Reddit user NightmareExpo decided to take it way back when they asked:
"Those of you from the 'early days' of the Internet, what online mysteries do you remember that remain unsolved?"
We're going to be honest, we didn't even know about some of these - but now that we do, we're itching for answers just as much as the commenters are! Put on your sleuthing hats, folks. We're going in.
Immortally Bad
Whether "My Immortal", famously the worst fanfiction of all time, was written by a troll or not.
It's like the saying that a broken clock is right twice a day. A badly written story with an author that is really trying should still have occasional redeeming qualities.
My Immortal is bad in a fractal sense. Every individual part is just as bad as the whole. That strongly suggests it was intentional.
If it was intentional, it kind of takes away from the magic of it all, I feel. I just like the idea of someone typing that garbage all out, and legitimately, delusionally thinking it was a masterpiece.
Fixing Foot Pain
Anybody remember cutoffmyfeet.com? A guy had terrible foot pain and wanted to amputate, so the website said. He was taking donations for entry into a contest to be the person who, via the internet, would be able to push a keyboard key that activated a home made guillotine to remove his affected feet. The whole thing was planned out with a scheduled date and audience. Ambulance would be already called. Never heard what happened.
Simpson's Did It
When The Simpsons did the Who Shot Mr. Burns cliffhanger, they had a contest to see if anyone could solve it. On the Simpsons usenet there was one commenter who solved it using the clues correctly (as opposed to just a lucky guess.) The showrunners tried all that they could to find the person but never did...
GiphyThe Final Puzzle
Grngecko.com/torment was crazy to me. I don't remember how I found it but it started you out on this puzzle that wasn't too difficult to solve, but it just kept giving more puzzles with increasing difficulty. I remember having a full notebook from writing stuff down trying to figure out how to solve them.
I eventually got stuck and went to some forums to find out there were people who put in some WORK trying to complete it but I don't believe anyone ever reached the end. They eventually took it down and the creator put up a new series of puzzles that was solved within the first couple days.
I was always curious what was at the end of that grngecko puzzle. That website is what made me have a love for puzzles and riddles.
Suddenly Nothing
I had a previous Reddit account made during the Digg exodus. This was at least a decade ago when Reddit was pretty new. I came across a post from a guy who swore that a particular website that looked like a generic local news site with the usual AP & Reuters news feeds was actually a government run intelligence program.
It functioned like a numbers station in plain site. Meaning that the exact wording used would match up with a one time use pad and provide intelligence info.
I can not remember the exact website, but it looked unimpressive and the domain was registered in Bahrain, despite appearing to cater to a midsize US city.
He then said he was being harassed in real time since he made that post. Then he said he got doxxed and strangers were calling him telling him to cut it out.
I tried to reply to his post a few minutes later, but then found that his Reddit account and every post he made were deleted.
What was that all about?!
Time Traveling Segways?
I remember the mystery surrounding John Titor, the time traveler.
I was around for the whole John Titor shenanigans and it was awesome/weird/fascinating at the time. The logo, the way he posted, everything.
The funny thing is that I know that since then people are pointing at two brothers in Florida who were behind the whole thing, but in terms of what he actually wrote- that unless humanity changed certain things, that we were doomed - could actually be true if you believe in the multiverse theory.
I have a theory it was Dean Kamen trying to viral market the Segway. He kept asking what we thought of "It", referring to the Segway as a future transportation device.
"Dean Kamen, prolific inventor. Portable insulin pumps, Segway, portable dialysis machines, Coca Cola Freestyle...
"But the biggest reason to fanboy him, IMO, is because he's the main guy behind FIRST/FIRST Robotics Challenge/FIRST LEGO League/etc. It's a wonderful set of programs; I coach at a couple of levels and the impact on kids is terrific."
Bonsai
Back in the day there was a site called bonsai kitten claiming to sell real kittens grown in glass jars. It was a hoax website but people actually believed it. I was probably 11 or 12 so I totally bought into it too. The internet was new-ish and people were more gullible back then.
I was around that age also and it really screwed me up for a long time. I had watched documentaries on those ladies who wore shoes too small and their feet never developed correctly and molded/grew into the shape of the tiny shoe...so to my child brain the bonsai kitten idea made sense.
- hfuga
Hermione
Just after the first Harry Potter film was made there was a creepy website with photos of Hermione's face VERY BADLY photoshopped onto various "sexy" celebs bodies. There was no nudity but it was still creepy, especially as he had a countdown clock until Hermione was "legal".
The mystery, I suppose, is whether the person who made the site was a "for real" weirdo or if it was some weird sort of parody/satire. I never saw the site again so don't know how it progressed in later years, and you'd never find it now without getting yourself on some sort of list.
Leprechaun
The leprechaun sighting in Crichton.
I want to know if an entire neighborhood came together to fake it, if something was in the water, a real leprechaun was seen, but most importantly, I want to know where the gold at.
I live in Mobile, and it was just a crackhead. But other people picked it up and ran with it because they thought it was funny. There's a really great Irish Bar here that puts the sketch of the leprechaun on it's St. Patrick's Day t shirts.
I'm a native of Mobile, Al and still live here. We still talk about this event and every year celebrate its anniversary! We love it! There's t-shirts of the composite sketch available. My sister and her husband put the damn leprechaun on their wedding koozies (beer huggers, whatever they're called)!
Crichton is a low-income neighborhood in Mobile and is known be riddled with drugs. Buncha sketchy things go down there but damn if they didn't put us on the map!
Pretty sure it was a hoax but it's a classic.
Early Worm
Who wrote SQL Slammer, an early internet worm. I work in cybersecurity; I remember at the time it was released it was crazy the damage it did: took down 90% of all infectable hosts within 10 minutes or so. Many believe it was an early cyberweapon test. If you get into the technical details of the thing it's wild: so crazy efficient it's entire source code sat in a single packet.
When the SQL Slammer worm hit my workplace, it was like 5:00 AM after our yearly holiday party. Someone else got paged first, came in and decided to page me. I tried to log in remotely, but all the network links were so saturated I couldn't really troubleshoot anything. The guy that paged me neglected to tell me that there was a worm on the loose, so I just threw on shoes and a jacket, not changing out of my PJs and headed to the office.
I got into the office and was able to console into my devices and saw that every link coming out of the server farm was at 100%. I asked the other guys what was going on, and then they told me about SQL Slammer.
I called my boss and told him to stop by McDonalds and buy $40 worth of breakfast sandwiches, because we were about to have a lot of hungry and hungover people at work. The moron shows up with 4 sandwiches, one of which he ate. Once he realized the scope of the problem, he turned around and got another 40-50 of them.
I ended up spending 15 hours sitting in the datacenter in my pajamas. Fun day.
The Dashcam Vid
Back when I was a teenager, I had just heard about 4chan from my brother. So I would browse different stuff on the site. One day, I came across a video that looked to be someone's dash cam on a highway. It wasn't great quality as this was sometime before 2010. You could see people passing on the other side and it was dark. You could only see what was illuminated by the headlights. After a few seconds of driving you see a girl crawling on her hands and knees across the road and it ends right before she is hit. I THINK she may look up, but I'm not sure. I kept replaying it because I wasnt sure what to think about it. I hadn't really seen anything like it at that point in my life. I have looked EVERYWHERE to see if I could find the video or get a follow up on what happened to the girl. I wanted to know if it was real. I have never been able to find the video or anything about it since.
- Mjw95
Infected
Does anyone else remember something similar to what I'm about to describe?
You accessed it from google. You could choose to be either a vampire or a werewolf. Then you emailed others your URL link. If they went to it, you got another number in your "infected" count.
I remember this from around 2003-2008
GiphyText
I used to love all of the text files from all over the place in the late 90s and early 00s. Does anyone have or know of an archive of them? Most of the sites don't exist anymore. Even if they did, I don't even remember what all of the sites were called, or what the majority of the texts were called. This makes the internet archive hard to find these things in.
A couple of good examples:
"Soap Opera" a hilarious journal style narrative of one man's battle with hotel housekeeping over their daily soap resupply during an extended stay.
"The Other People" credited to Oberon Zell. It is a conversation style explanation of why the author is not subject to the laws and oversight of the Christian God because his ancestry does not come from Adam and Eve, but from the other people in the east.
Nazi Tunnels
Oh man. There was a thread on PistonHeads (UK Car forum) about a guy who found a nazi tunnel in his back garden. The thread was like 400 pages long with updates and hiring diggers and everything.
Last I read he was going to excavate it and turn it into a garage. Wonder what happened...
Pink Floyd
Publius Enigma
So I was a massive Pink Floyd fan and there was a cryptic series of riddles on alt.music.pink-floyd that had some sort of mystery that needed solving.
At first I was super skeptical, but then to provide proof it was all real there was in block letters in the lights at one of the concerts ENIGMA PUBLIUS at a specified time. I remember our dorm trying to solve the issue and devolving into drinking but it was a big deal at the time. Then Penet got closed down and that stopped the messages.
The riddle was never answered and seems to be forgotten now.
Looney Tunes
I kept trying to go to the looney tunes website once, but it kept directing me to a website with a wall of text and picture of a naked with woman with her nipples covered with tiny stars.
I wasn't old enough to understand the sexual nature of the picture, I just wanted to go to the looney tunes website. I remember bringing my dad into the room to try and help me.
I have no idea what I was doing wrong to be redirected to that website instead of the looney tunes website.
- hafuhafu
GiphyNinjas And Credit Card Fraud
Ninja burger. Supposedly you order a burger from this website and wherever you are, a ninja shows up and breaks into your house to deliver this burger without being seen. Never ordered it but always wondered what would actually happen...probably credit card fraud lol