The Real Reason Why People Moved Out Of Their Parents' House
Reddit user RavenGreekGod asked: 'What made you move out of your parents' house?'
We all have our own ideas about what our lives should look like and how we want our individual households to run.
When a young person wants different things for their home than their parents do, it might be time to move out.
Redditor RavenGreekGod asked:
"What made you move out of your parents' house?"
Too Many Cooks
"Too many adults under one roof. I needed to branch off and be my own person in my own space."
- cmf1990
Simple Independence
"I love my parents, and I honestly have a great relationship with them. In fact, I'm moving across the country to be near them in about a month, and I'll be living with them for a bit while I search for my own place."
"However, when I live with them, I struggle to act as an independent adult. It's as much my fault as everyone else's, but I still prefer living on my own long term."
- retief1
Financial Trouble
"Mom was downsizing due to financial difficulties and didn’t have room for me in the new apartment."
"So, I struck a deal with the manager of the little restaurant where I worked part-time to rent a room from him and his wife while I finished high school. It was a good growing-up experience."
"The only downside was I’m pretty sure my manager didn’t bother mentioning to his wife that some awkward pimple-faced 17-year-old would me moving in until that Saturday morning when I was dragging all my crap through their living room towards the back bedroom."
"She gave me a frosty reception and frankly, I couldn’t blame her."
- Southern_Snowshoe
Not So Merry Christmas
"My brother's friend called home from college in early December, to make travel plans for coming home over Christmas break."
"His parents said, 'Oh, uh, yeah, about that, we meant to tell you before... we moved... to a one-bedroom apartment... but I guess if you wanted to come here and sleep on the couch for the break, I guess that would be okay...'"
"He did not go home over break, or to my knowledge, ever again. He spent Christmas at our house that year, instead of with his own family."
- DaddyBeanDaddyBean
"Crippling Disability"
"Living with my s**tty, controlling parents for 18 years was enough to make me move out and run to the farthest, most remote college I could without having to pay out-of-state fees."
"They wanted me to stay home and go to community college because I was their 'precious, delicate little girl' and because I had ADHD, it meant I was destined to be incapable of looking after myself, and they needed to shelter me."
"Everything I accomplished, my grades, my awards, my honors, they attributed it all to themselves, not to me (I couldn't achieve those things, I had ADHD after all. In their eyes, it was all them). They believed being verbally abusive somehow helped me succeed (it didn't, it just stunted my growth)."
"I took my diploma, my scholarships, and my PC and got the f**k outta dodge. Best decision I ever made. I did just fine, and I am a successful electrical engineer with a husband, a house, and an active healthy social life."
"So much for my 'crippling disability.'"
- McMew
Severe Anxiety Attacks
"I found an okay job and left immediately. I’m lucky I did. I can survive about a week with my dad before remission into panic attacks and severe anxiety. The last time I spent more time than that, we had an argument that ended with me in the hospital (no violence, just fear)."
"Yeah, no thanks. I’ve since gotten a support group of friends that I can stay with if something goes wrong, and I’m lucky I can live without him spending much time in my life. I don’t think I’d be around if I couldn’t."
- MountainMan2_
Packed the Bags
"We didn’t have a house. We lived in an apartment. I had been paying half the rent since I was 15."
"One day, I got home, and my mom was packing bags. I asked what’s up, where was she going? She said she was going to go stay with my sister and see my nieces. I was like okay, cool, see you in a few days, I guess."
"I got a call two weeks later that she wasn’t coming back and already told the landlord I’d be out in 24 hours. I called the landlord and told him I had no idea what was going on. He gave me a month to move out."
"I put all my mom's stuff in storage and started life on my own. To this day, I don’t know why she chose to up and leave me. I’ve asked her and she just says she missed my nieces and wanted to be with them."
"Really going to drop a 17-year-old and give them 24 hours to move out. Took a long time to get over."
- captainkrakin
18 and Homeless
"She kicked me out the day after my 18th birthday because I turned 18. She dropped me at a homeless shelter with a small laundry basket of clothing and no money."
- AkKik-Maujaq
Time to Cosign
"I went to college. When I graduated, I moved back until I could find my own place."
"After a week of living there, I felt it was time to go. I had a fine childhood and my parents are nice and all. But my dad went right back to treating me like a high schooler. If he wanted me to do something around the house, I had to do it right then, like I didn't just work 8 hours like everybody else."
"The funny thing is, he told me that I had six months to find my own place (which is fine, this was in 2006). I asked him to cosign on an apartment and moved out after two weeks of living there."
"He then told me he was joking about the six months. I think he missed me."
- CaptainAwesome06
Unreasonable Standards
"My dad raised the rent to pay half of his mortgage while I was 17 and had barely gotten my first job. Talk about killing your kid's economic future."
"It was an easy decision to move out. He was also an alcoholic and smoked like a chimney. You live and move on."
- Intrepid-Ad-3871
Anxiety-Inducing
"I could practically feel their breath on the back of my neck."
- burn-babies-burn
Classic Scapegoat
"I was already in the process of finding a place to live when I got kicked out by my mom. And it was for something I didn't even do! (It's so ridiculous that I can kinda laugh about it now, but the situation was so messed up.)"
"My parents have a terrible marriage and apparently, my dad decided to use something I said in an argument against my mom. Thing is? I never said the things he claimed I did. I was asleep for most of this screaming match (they happened daily, so you learned to sleep through it) and was entirely unaware that I had been thrown under the bus."
"I woke up the next morning to my mother waiting for me in the kitchen, going absolutely bananas, yelling at me, and I could not get a word in. I had to leave with no warning and just stuff as much as I could into my backpack and two plastic bags and drag my belongings with me to my first-year uni math lecture. I had to explain to all my friends why on earth I was dragging so much stuff around all day, fun times."
"To this day, six years later, they still have not acknowledged that it happened and just pretend that it was a 'disagreement' where I was equally at fault."
- mihio94
A Golden Scapegoat
"I was every parent's dream. A law-abiding, obedient, straight-A student going to college on scholarship."
"I nannied, tutored, chauffeured, and cleaned up after my three younger sisters. My part-time job went to groceries for the family instead of luxuries or even savings for myself."
"But somehow Mom was unable to communicate with me in any form other than lecturing. I was never good enough."
"I left at 17 and never looked back. I have a chill, successful, happy life surrounded by people who appreciate me and tell me so. Mom doesn't understand why I don't call her (for more lectures)."
- bluescrew
The Circle of Life
"I got pregnant at 18, married, moved out, and had the baby at 19."
"Then I divorced, went back home, and then out, and then back in a few times over the following years."
"Finally at 26, I moved out again with a degree, a career, and the best husband ever."
"And then five years later, my parents moved in with me. Life is crazy."
- Gladyskravitz99
There are all sorts of reasons that a young adult will decide to move out beyond simply turning 18.
Though some will move out because of toxic homes and parents who make them move out, there are others who move for far more independent reasons, like going off to college or wanting to start a life of their own.
People Who Ran Away Without A Word Explain Why They Left Everything Behind
Sometimes, things get so bad that a person just needs to go.
There's no time for ceremonial goodbyes, waiting for apologies and granting forgiveness, nor waiting any longer hoping for change.
A person might leave fast because things have become so dire it would be unsafe to not slip out in secret.
Or perhaps, leaving suddenly and in one motion is the only way a person can feel what they need to feel in order to actually go through with what's best for them.
Some Redditors talked about the times they shot out the door and never turned their heads.
tya_the_Lawyer asked, "Those who packed up and ran away/moved out without saying anything, how did you do it and why?"
Good Old Dad
"I left an abusive boyfriend without saying anything."
"I didn't have a car so I had some people help me move stuff out over a period of a few days."
"My dad came by with a trailer and got the rest of my stuff. He called me when he got home and I told him I was done."
"Blocked him in my phone and on social media."
-- Ginger_Chick
Long Term Investing
"I left a house of roommates when I was in college because they were breaking into my locked room and I once found drugs on my dresser after one of their parties. Waited till they went home for Thanksgiving break, and out the door I went."
"Everything in the house belonged to me besides what was in their own bedrooms. Went to a nice 1 bedroom apt with only me to worry about. I had cleared it with the landlord first, just hadn't told the roommates."
"I wasn't worried about rent because only three of us were on the lease with about 10 people living there, and only the three were paying all the bills."
"It was worth every penny to eat the cost of breaking the lease early."
-- contenttob
Bounced Around, But Better
"I was moving away from my extremely abusive mom. I packed 2 bags, threw them out of my window, bought plane tickets for me & my kid, and had my cousin pick me up & take me to the airport."
"I told my mom we were going to pound (a drum class thing) with my cousin. I blocked my entire family, and talked to my best friend and my sister (who I was flying to)."
"Eventually I checked my phone and unblocked my family. They were all screaming at me trying to find out where I was."
"I called the police and told them what was going on in case they tried to file a missing person case. I was terrified. I was sad. But my life is so much different now."
"I didn't stay with my sister long. Less than a month before her grandma kicked me out. Now I'm living in a different place, in my own apartment, with my own things."
"My kid is happy and not seeing abuse every day. I'm in therapy. I'm still struggling. There are things we need that I definitely can't afford. But I'm doing 100x better than I was in January."
A Good Support System = Friends + Trucks
"Realized how abusive my partner was when he finally escalating to hitting me. Then he tried telling me I 'wasn't allowed' to just throw out our relationship without giving him a chance."
"Nope. I've seen that Lifetime made for TV movie ..."
"...so I played nice until he left for work the next day, called up and old friend who showed up within like 2 hours with his 2 roommates and a truck, and left without so much as a note."
"Thank God for good friends."
A Brief and Worthy Case of Car Jacking
"Abusive relationship that was escalating. Escaped while he was at work."
"He had two cars and obviously only took one to work - I did not have a car, we lived in the absolute middle of nowhere where I knew no one, and he had convinced me to get on the same credit card account with him and would revoke my access when he was mad with me."
"In short, he expected me to be stuck without recourse."
"A friend bought me a plane ticket. I drove myself to the airport in the second car."
"Sent him a picture of the car with the parking spot number visible (so he could come get it) right as I was boarding the plan with the word single word: 'Bye.'"
"I was homeless/couch surfing for a little bit after that. Could have gone really, really bad. Life is good now."
A Hell of an Afternoon
"First husband wasn't a bad person but he was a lousy husband. I was lonely and isolated and basically a housemaid who paid the bills, and had been moving out 'in my head' for some time."
"We were at an actual social event for once and somehow he decided that I made a joke at his expense (I hadn't) so he wasn't talking to me. He was a pro at the silent treatment."
"I figured that since I was buying and cooking and washing up and cleaning and doing the yard work and laundry for two people while unhappy, it would be much easier doing it for one person, whether happy or otherwise."
"I left my rings on the front hall table, called a friend with a van, and was gone by noon. Had a new PO Box, bank account, and apartment by 3pm."
-- Flahdagal
Finding Something Better
"Had an abusive boyfriend. I waited until he went to work and packed a few of my things thinking the rest didn't matter as long as I had my life."
"I called a close friend who had said if there was ever anything he could do for me...guess who paid for my plane ticket."
"He is now my fiancé and I've never been in a better relationship."
Steer Clear of Drama
"I was living in a 2 bedroom condo with my landlord in the other room. I am gay, he's gay, and he has a boyfriend."
"The boyfriend started trying to guide me toward having sex with him, especially when my landlord wasn't there."
"I just went to bed every time he did it, didn't say anything, found another apartment, gave 1 month's notice, and moved out suddenly without warning 3 days later. I do not f*** around with that sh**."
A Private Victory
"When I was about 6 or 7, my mum and I got into a fight (I think I just wasn't getting enough attention), I was so upset I packed a bag and left."
"I only made it about 2 blocks, hung out at another apartment complex for a few hours, then thought better of it and came home. No one noticed 🙄"
-- brooke_157
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