Redditor bijoux69 for some reason asked what we'd all think if our moms started a spicy page.
"What would you do if your mother started an OnlyFans?"
Mothers doing OnlyFans... I can't even contemplate.
Gimme...
Christmas Vacation Presents GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Expect better birthday presents."
MarinaDorito
"I came here to say Christmas presents but also this!"
ScandinavianRunner
Enjoy the nightmares...
"Put all of my efforts into inventing a Forget-That-inator."
Go0gleRoks
"Nah, just do like a normal person. Put that memory in a box, and stow it up in your mind's attic, on the bottom shelf way in the back, and forget about it. It never happened."
"Until one day. Some therapist using a variety of psychological tools, guides you up into that attic and leads you to this mysterious, dusty box that you don't even remember putting there, it's been so long. You open the box. Enjoy the nightmares."
somabeach
But whatever...
"Probably and hopefully have no freaking clue."
pretendmynameiscool_
"I wouldn't know, but if I did manage to find out, I would be very impressed as she is computer illiterate. I'd also be jealous of her self confidence."
I_onno
"One time my mom asked me to paint her bathroom, I was painting over the cabinet above the toilet and saw two topless Polaroids of her. I flipped them over and left them and never said a word. Would have been nice if she showed me the same courtesy when she saw my porn. But whatever."
BiggestOfTheBizzles
Concern
"Worry about the depth of her knowledge about online safety."
asharkonamountaintop
"This is the truest answer. My mother has trouble navigating simple websites and doesn’t know how easily info can be stolen."
Spielburger_witFries
"This is exactly what I thought. I’d probably call my brother and ask him if he helped her set it up, otherwise I wouldn’t know how she’d have managed it.
I used to occasionally log into my gmail on her computer and it would log her out. Then she’d call me the next day and accuse me of 'deleting her email again.'"
TheBaddestPatsy
Whatever
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Finding out mom had an OF would be the LEAST of the trauma she’s caused me."
krty98
Mom has done far worse.
Good for you...
Stephen Colbert Power GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy"My mom is 80. More power to her."
nevertoolate2
"She would make a fortune with her cooking classes I bet."
bijoux69
Exclusive
"I will have to explain her that despite what she probably found on that website, this is in fact not the best platform to host her cooking lessons."
"OnlyFan is not exclusive to porn, despite a large portion of the website dedicated to that. And I can count on my mother to be oblivious to that side."
Dahns
"I could actually see that working really well, depending on how she marketed her lessons. If women are her target demographic, well, there are plenty of female creators who already have accounts. And we SWers weirdly love wholesome content in our spaces."
thornforever
The « Why?
"Wonder why the hell anyone would tell me this, and then go about my day as I’ve already seen that women full frontal. Probably pick up drinking again as well."
CherryAreolas
"In what I would imagine, she’s the one who told me. The « Why ? » in this case - as in many others- would probably not be explained. I would most likely roll my eyes and sight unsurprisingly. Oh, and continue to go in therapy."
neglected_kid
70
"Dude, she’s 70. Social security isn’t enough. If she can pull in extra cash, good for her. I’m very concerned about her spinal issues, arthritis, and posing issues. Honestly, I’d offer to take the photos, since I’m very good at it (boudoir photographer experience here, great with mobility issues)."
"Even though it’s be weird, but if she gets hurt I’m probably covering those medical bills, so you know, lesser of two evils. I’m also a bit confused as to how she figured out how to open an OF when she can’t open email attachments, but again, good for her."
thin_white_dutchess
get the $$$
Make It Rain Money GIF by Tim and EricGiphy"My mum DOES have OnlyFans... lol. I don’t care. She’s getting money and doesn’t take it too seriously. It’s whatever."
L_750z
Be Right
"Check her account, make sure everything is set up properly. Educate her on the type of scammers that haunt OF, and how to deal with them. Give her tips on what viewers want, and how not to be pressured into doing things she's not comfortable with. If something is going to be done, might as well make sure it's done right."
Cat_Hoarder0
It's certainly an interesting question! How would you react? Let us know in the comments below.
I try to talk to my mom frequently. But it's never enough for her. But that's ok. I still have her.
Awkward Joel Mchale GIF by NETFLIXUnrecognizable...
"She has dementia and has forgotten how to use the phone. Unless an aide is in the room when I call, the phone will just ring and drive her crazy. I visit her in person instead even though sometimes she doesn't know who I am."
Alpacazappa
"The last thing my grandmother said to me before I became totally unrecognizable to her was, 'you’re awfully big to be so little.' Even though I was 22 at the time she remembered me as a little girl."
MeasuredByChopsticks
Never Again
"Last time I saw her she yelled at me to go live with my dad and when I actually started packing my things and leaving she yelled 'you don’t want to take care of your own mother' and proceeded to beat me and call the cops saying I’m the one who hit her even though I had cuts, marks, and bruises all over my face and neck."
"She never got in trouble and she did all this in front of my 3 year old sister. She also told me I would be dead if I ever came back. We haven’t spoke since and I don’t plan to ever speak to her again."
99_problems_bbt
Uninterested
"She doesn't take any interest in my life. She will call me to complain about my siblings and ask nothing about me."
sagicorn2791
"I'm similar, she calls to gripe about all her problems for an hour then goes so what's new with you, but at that point in emotionally drained and I have nothing to say. She doesn't really absorb anything I talk about either so it's a bit wasted?"
vansnagglepuss
Die Phone
Phone Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"We both really hate talking on the phone! We stay in touch vie text etc and I'll go see her, and my dad, in a couple of weeks when I've got some time off work."
Alpaca_Tasty_Picnic
I feel like a lot of moms are waiting by a phone. And we're hanging up.
Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"She's a helicopter parent despite not being around when I was a child and leaving me to be raised by my sister."
Special-Latina
same old...
"The last time I spoke with her I got. To update her on what I'm doing for work (yet another crappy entry level job instead of a career she can be proud of). Criticism over a hobby that I picked up and a "'It has to at least make money' warning. Criticism over me and my family still being in the 'same old tiny apartment.'"
"Thanks mom. This is why it's difficult for me to relate to people who had a strong, healthy connection to their parents."
Vidableek
Over It
"I don't want to. If I wanted to backtrack on years of work on my own mental health, maybe I'd pick up the phone. But it turns out that when you're abusive, manipulative, and generally sh*tty to someone for 25 years, maybe they don't want to talk to you anymore."
a**hat123
She never has...
"Phones work 2 ways. I call a few times a year. She never has. I have asked her to come visit. She does not ask me to come up. I have visited her. She has never visited me. Relationships require both to put effort in. After years of only me putting in time and effort I have learned that I am not that important to her."
dogfishshrk
Empty Person
"She is a soulless human being, addled with terrible personality traits, and is addicted not only to specific drugs, but to being not sober. She is a kleptomaniac and will steal from people who are charitable to her. She’s an uncaring mother and an awful person."
"My sister texted me this morning to say she’s been missing for two weeks, and I’m not concerned, because that is completely normal for her. She’s been addicted to hard drugs for at least 20 years now, I don’t see how she’s still alive, and I wish she wasn’t, she’s draining my entire family of love and resources."
michaelthagray
LOLOL
Mothers Day Mom GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"Nice try, mom."
omgzzwtf
"This literally made me laugh so hard, deserves top comment."
knighttmair
Good Moms
"My mom is a narcissist. It was ok for her to take long weekend trips for days leaving a 5 year old with a 13 year old, however I'm a bad mom for going out on my anniversary and leaving my child with a adult neighbor who I paid for 3 hours... because 'You're a mom now, you aren't allowed to go out.'"
"Helicopter as in going to the school and starting trouble to pretend like she cared over really petty crap. Over dress you for the weather to be seen as a good mom. Dress you up like a doll so no one would even question that she was abusive because in her head if the image is good and she's hovering around, the kid won't be believed."
ChineseChaiTea
her own words...
"Last time she was in front of me she told me that I am weird because I was born a few days after Tchernobyl and the radiations must have done something to my head (her own words). Mind you, she says I am weird because I am not emotional, I prefer remaining calm and not succumb to stress."
"Because I have some depression, social anxiety and some undiagnosed social difficulties, I'm an overthinker/overanalyzer. It surely has nothing to do with my father being an alcoholic and extremely violent to her and his children. Nothing at all."
"So, I will not call her because I know that talking about it will not help with anything. I just act busy since this month began. I'll have to call her one day. I'm not even upset. I just don't want to talk to her and throw away all those years of therapy. Fortunately, we live in different towns."
Zestyclose-Ad-5439
Not Ready
Sorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy"She was extremely neglectful to me when I was kid and now that I'm an adult she tries to guilt trip me into seeing her and calling her. She wanted nothing to do with me as a kid/teenager and now she wants a relationship. Sorry, but I'm not ready yet."
The_truth_may_hurt
The Lineup...
"Went to her for the first time about being severely depressed and suicidal for the past ~10 years of my life. She made it completely about herself. I was crying in fetal position as a 25 year old man on her bedroom floor. She asked me something, but I was in an almost frozen state and couldn't think of speak."
"She got pissed off at me and started berating me for not answering when I was the one who went to her. Somehow I've kept her in my life. No I don't call first, but do not avoid contact. I'm not sure if that's a healthy move. My excuse is having a huge lineup of past events that show me just how selfish she is despite her words contradicting her actions."
PM_UR_BUTTHOL3
Victims
"She’s always the victim. She leads such a boring life that all she has to talk about is unimportant crap in the lives of others. She suffers from PTSD, and gets SSI, so she’s always broke. She can’t handle the slightest criticism."
clever80username
I tried that...
"Every phone call is three hours long and I do not ever have that much time to myself, let alone for another human. And no, the length of the phone call doesn’t decrease if I call more frequently, I tried that. Texting with her was great but she hated her smart phone so went back to a clam shell that makes it hard for her to text."
sebthelodge
Facades
"She's manipulative and controlling. I wish she was just like any other mom. We would've been a great team (dad's never around). I just want someone in my family to know me for me. But apparently that's not the case. So I shall keep up the facade."
livingonramen27
"Cut her off. We may not be able to choose our family but we can choose our friends. I surround myself with 'big brothers, adopted moms, loving fathers, encouraging sisters.' To me they are the family that I should have had and everyone deserves. The 'real' family was never that real."
Phrogme1
Last Straws
"She's an alcoholic and relapsed about a year or two ago and despite us getting her in a position to get proper help several times, she chose booze + moving in with random dudes over and over again. The last straw was her getting blackout drunk and passing out on a public sidewalk and then getting picked up by the cops."
"My sister took her to the ER after that and then uninvited her from her wedding and we all blocked her telling her to call us when she's sober. Hasn't called us, but did text me happy birthday ten days after my birthday. Last I heard she's working in a liquor store."
cranialgrainofsalt
For the Best
Out Of Office Summer GIF by Merge MansionGiphy"I just got off the phone with her & my Dad about 5 minutes ago, so I figure they deserve a break."
justduett
Not enough time for sanity...
"Because I can't afford extra sessions with my therapist, and my mom won't consent to mediated conversations with my therapist because she thinks mental health professionals are in league with Satan. My mom has 4 children. 2 of us cut her out of our lives entirely. One of us decided to see what happened if he stopped calling her, and now they haven't spoken in 3 years."
"My half brother that she abandoned as a child still talks to her occasionally because she's somehow less awful than his father, and he's desperate to have a parent in some fashion, but their relationship is entirely superficial. Untreated mental illness can be pretty awful."
paladiumsteve
Not all relationships, including blood, are meant to be. But if you can and if it's healthy... call your mom.
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Ok!
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
- LuntiX
Be Clean
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
- domin8r
Silence
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
Who Cares?
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
- Jikal
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No Adults
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
- maajyc
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
Whateves
Let It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy"The more it happens the less people will care."
Couple Issues
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
The Best Questions To Ask During A Job Interview | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!
Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
Didn't Notice
"You know, I don't think I've ever noticed anyone breast feeding. I'm sure I've seen it happen while I was out but I've never noticed. I think that says something about the people who do make a big deal out of it."
"So often it just looks like they're holding the baby. You usually can't see anything. There were a couple times random people struck up conversations with me while I was nursing in public, and I could tell they had absolutely no idea."
Cover Up
"As a woman, I think women should be able to feed their baby wherever. As a matter of personal preference though, I always cover up. I have had soo many creeps stare at me that I don't like to openly do it."
"I have breastfed in public before, and would continue to do so if I had children who were nursing. I always used the two-shirt method to keep myself as covered as possible, which was for my comfort as my breast was much larger than my baby's head."
In America...
"Just to add to this... In America, public breastfeeding is protected by federal law and state law - in all the states."
"In so many comment sections, I always come across the argument that the federal law only protects breastfeeding in public so women can't breastfeed in restaurants or stores because they're private property—the law must only apply to municipal parks and government buildings. I tell them to look at the text of the law because it doesn't say "public", it says "anywhere the mother is otherwise permitted to be", like a publicly-accessible-yet-privately-owned store. Idiots."
Who cares?
mind it talk show GIF by iOne DigitalGiphy"I try not to think about other people's business. Especially stuff that doesn't affect me in any way."
Gotta Eat
"I think everyone, including babies, should be able to eat in restaurants."
"Restaurants should also set policies though. I'm cool with those that allow everyone, but it's fair as well to have adults-only restaurants. Kids can be quite disturbing. As long as policies are disclosed, s'aulgood, man!"
- Bytewave
Drink Up
"It's pretty much the same as any customer. Don't disturb the other guests and you are fine. So drink up little human. At least you are silent."
"This is the most reasonable. As long as you aren't making a scene while doing it, it's not a problem. If you take your boob out and then wait for someone to look and then decide to throw a fit, then you should be thrown out just like any other unruly customer."
Summer in the South, fun!
"My thoughts are that I hope she doesn't give a crap what anybody else thinks when she breastfeeds her child in a restaurant."
- MRS300
"I am extremely self conscious about it because I've had people make nasty comments to me while feeding my baby in a restaurant (and elsewhere). If my baby gets hungry, I don't give a f**k about anyone else. I will always feed my hungry baby no matter what, no matter where."
"I even wear specific nursing tops so no boob is visibly exposed. For this reason, and the fact that the baby gets hot and uncomfortable (Summer in the South, fun!), I also refuse to cover with a blanket. However, I always feel judged and frowned upon for doing so. It's just hard not to."
be clean...
Sick Black And White GIF by Fleischer StudiosGiphy"Breastfeeding = fine. Not washing your hands in the bathrooms? Not cool."
On Display
"If we look at high fashion we see women with stickers covering their breasts. In high street fashion it is acceptable to expose any part of the breast as cleavage, sideboob, underboob. Basically the only part of the woman's breast we've censored is the nipple, which I find especially odd given that's the bit men have as well. Regardless, in this case the baby's mouth covers the nipple so the breast on display isn't anything out of the norm really, and even if the nipple were out, get over it."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
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