Reddit user Tier1CSGO asked:
"What is the dumbest way you've ever made money?"
Clean Living
"Sold my urine on job site to guys who knew they were going to be tested."
~ blackp3dro
Polly Want a Story?
"Reading books to my neighbour's parrot."
"He was depressed and needed company, apparently."
"I was 10, I enjoyed that work very much."
"I read a lot on my own, but I was terrible at reading out loud, and I had a stutter."
"The parrot was lonely and plucking his feathers and I was told that the only way I could save him was to read to him every day."
"I suspect anything to keep him company would have worked, but I took my reading job very seriously. It helped us both."
~ alentukh
GiphyTen Pence
"Forgot to submit my self-assessment tax return for a year I owed £0 tax."
"Got fined £100."
"Appealed it, was successful, got paid £100.10 back."
~ sammy_zammy
Fantasy Fabio
"I got a job as a 'fantasy model with long flowing hair' where I modelled for covers of B grade American fantasy novels. Paid OKish, not well."
"I also signed away my rights like an idiot so I occasionally turn up riding a horse, or casting a spell. Also once turned up on a book cover with 'a lady' and my girlfriend went 'Who the f'k is that‽‽'."
"Photoshop my dear. Photoshop."
"I tried to read one of the books and it started 'He was not traditionally handsome'. Ouch."
~ HerrFerret
GiphyFree Profit
"About 10 years ago I downloaded one of those Clash of Clans style app games. This was before the 'pay to win' model had arisen so I played the game for about a year and was actually pretty good at it and managed to get into one of the top clans."
"After a year or so though the pay to win model began to rear its ugly head and ruin the game. I saw the writing on the wall and decided it was time to hang it up."
"Now I had never spent a dime on this game but I knew that a lot of the big spenders would sell their accounts when they quit in an attempt to recoup some of their losses. I knew my account wasn’t at that level but I figured it was worth a try."
"I figured if I could get even $10 I would be happy. I was in no rush to sell it though so I figured I would start very unrealistically high and then slowly go down on my list price."
"I ended up listing it on a third party site starting at $500. Within 12 hours I had a guy 'counter offer' at $350."
"I was blown away. I wasn’t about to negotiate with that and jumped all over it."
"To this day I still can’t believe that I had fun playing a free game for a year and then sold my account for $350."
~ SCHokie2011
GiphyDoesn't Add Up
"Tutoring a kid in math who was far smarter in math than his mother thought. He didn't do the homework because he wanted to play video games."
"He aced all the test and quizzes but homework was 50% of the grade so he was getting a C in math. Mother basically paid me $20 an hour to make sure he did his homework, which he finished in about 5 min."
"We then played video games for the next 55 minutes and whenever the mother would check on us I would say something 'mathematical' then he would say something 'mathematical' and I would say 'exactly, now you've got it'."
"I felt bad taking the money from the mom, but as a poor college kid, $20 is $20."
~ RTAW0lf3
Ah, Craigslist...
"Answered an ad on Craigslist. A dude shaved my head, and filmed it. Paid me $600."
~ Shaladox
"Craigslist had some bizarre ads back in the day. I answered an ad to do some weird stuff too."
"A guy wanted me to pee in a diaper and give it to him."
"So we’d meet up. I’d get in his car. Put on a diaper, pee in it, take it off, give it to him, and he’d pay me $100."
~ princesspeepe
GiphyPound for Pound
"In the 90's I had some money spare and the British Government was attempting to stop the £ falling below a certain level against the US$."
"On the radio in the mornings, day after day, serious expert were saying it couldn't hold out against the markets."
"I converted all my cash into US$. Two weeks later I converted it all back into £'s and made £10,000. I literally did nothing except change some currency."
~ the_real_grinningdog
Miscommunication = $$$
"I was a contractor for a while doing IT. I think I was making around $50k at the time. Hourly pay, but worked out to about $50k annually."
"They wanted to renew my contract and I told my contract company I should get 10 more. I thought I was worth another $10k annually."
"They went and talked to the company and came back and said they got me 9. As in $9 more an hour and if that was OK."
"Yep, that’s about $19k more annually. It was also around Y2K time so overtime was always there too."
~ ShamusNC
GiphySilver Lining
"I once crashed my truck on the freeway (due to a faulty road, I got a big payout, don't worry guys) and when I was all shaken and like holy crap and pulling over into the grass on the side of the road, I stepped out of the truck on shaky legs, and there was just... a 20 dollar bill."
"Crisp and new. Just sitting there."
"I thought I must have imagined it, but I took it as a good sign, and then insurance inexcusably overpaid what my truck was worth and I got a much better truck for free and 20 bucks."
"Dumb. Effective, but dumb."
~ aaronjer
Whistle While You Work
"I worked at a recording studio and one of the engineers was working on a radio commercial. The spot called for a bit of dialogue between a voiceover talent and a bird whistling."
"The client figured we could just use sfx for the bird responses, but nothing was working. The engineer left the session for a bit to get some air and he told me what was going on."
"Not to brag, but I’m a pretty good whistler. I started mimicking what the bird 'should' sound like, and his eyes went wide. He dragged me into the session to present what I did."
"I ended up being hired on the spot. I whistled for one commercial, which happened to be a union gig. So, I signed a contract that basically let me join for the day."
"I got about 800 bucks for the day, but also received residual checks for a couple more years after that. Whistling earned me about $3k in the end."
~ GtrSolo2TheFace
Giphy
"My offer letter was wrong. I asked for a one time sign on bonus since I was leaving my match at my previous job. HR agreed but then instead of doing it as a bonus they added it to my salary."
"I didn’t say anything."
"2 years later during an audit they caught it. The ceo finds out and says 'well even with his raise last year he still is worth it'."
"Never had to pay it back since it was an hr screw up and I’m good at my job."
~ diatho
Cleaning Up
"Shoveling snow. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but I was at my grandma's house and she had this shovel that was curved so if you held it right, the snow would curl up and move just like a snowplow."
"I was like 6 or 7 years old. I thought was so cool so I just went around her block clearing the sidewalks having a blast cause it's just like the big snowplows."
"Before I know it, people are coming out of the houses and giving me money."
~ steppedinhairball
GiphyCandy!
"Some dude hit my friend with his car while we were crossing the sidewalk in front of a 7-11."
"We were 12ish at the time and my friend wasn't hurt except for a bruise that came later."
"He gave us each $20 to not say anything about it."
"We bought SO much candy."
~ hotaffiliatequeen
The United States is described as being in a gig economy.
People are temps, contractors or subcontractors instead of employees.
Some efforts to make a living wage are better ideas than others.
But "dumb" might be a bit harsh if it pays the bills.
What's the most unusual way you've made money?
"What was a brilliant idea but poorly executed?"
$10 A Month For $4 Thousand Worth Of Movie Tickets... How Could It Go Wrong?
"Moviepass, i.e. a monthly subscription service to see as many movies as you want for a flat fee."
"The core concept is actually solid."
"The big risk with unlimited subscriptions is induced demand, where people consume more of your product because their unit price drops."
"Movie theaters are mostly fixed costs, however, they don't really care about induced demand outside of opening weekend for big blockbusters (which you can make special rules about)."
"As long as a movie isn't sold out, you'd basically take any amount of money for the empty seats."
"Even if someone sees ten movies in a month, you're still probably making money even if you only charged them two movie's worth, and that's before potential concession sales."
"That said, the theaters have to be on board, and Moviepass launched without first getting them to agree to such a system."
"Instead, Moviepass had to pay full price to the theaters for every single movie seen."
"Their prices were not fixed, and as a result the induced demand absolutely crushed them."- Notmiefault
Microsoft Clearly Didn't Read The Book Of Genesis...
"Microsoft Zune."- TheDadaMax
"Great product, poorly marketed."
"But it was (imo) vastly superior to the iPod."- EnigmaCA
technology rip GIF by gifnewsGiphySo, So, Sad...
"Recycling."
"I wish it was great everywhere."- Glitchykins8
Biking Without The Peddling
"The Segway."
"It was hailed as what the car was to the horse and buggy."
"Built by a famous inventor it never took off."
"One of the most hyped inventions of all time."- Swimming_Stop5723
Way Too Soon... (On So Many Levels)
"Selling tickets to dive in a sub to see the Titanic."- nullrecord
Titan Submarine GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyNot The Right Prescription
"Google Glass."
"I remember when people were talking about how it was gonna be the next 'big thing' and it failed."- LouisTheFox
When You Can't Help But Miss Used Car Salesmen...
"Carvana."
"Loved the idea of putting more control of the car-buying experience back in the hands of the buyer but myself and my wife both had a harrowing experience buying through them and their 'hassle-free' return process was absolutely riddled with hassles."- Grand-wazoo
train help GIFIt Literally Had People Seeing Red...
"Nintendo's Virtual Boy."- TailsxCream4Eva
"Nintendo's Power Glove."- mezz7778
"RoB the Robot."- DiscussionLoose8390
One Of Many Failed Ideas In US Education
"I think No Child Left Behind was a good concept."
"But basing school funding on standardized tests just crushed anything good out of it— the rich schools with funding for equipment and higher-end teachers got more money, and the schools that needed financial help got probation and threats of funding withdrawal."
"As a former teacher, I loved the idea that a kid could move to another school mid-semester and be learning the same concept in each subject as the school they left, but instead any kid who wasn’t immediately grasping concepts was forced to fail upwards."
"Failing upwards hurts all of us."- bp_516
Ha!
"Fyre Festival."- Old_Army90
"I’ve always thought that it could have worked if it had been planned years in advance."
"I have to admit, the idea of a music festival on a Caribbean island still intrigues me."
"The problem is that the island location alone presents major logistical hurdles."
"By definition, everything on an island is harder to acquire, from food to land."
"Add to that the issues of promised catered meals and guaranteed luxury lodging and you have serious mountains to climb to pull off the festival."
"With enough lead time to construct the bungalows and hire enough food services to prepare the meals, it is feasible, but trying to pull it off in a few months time made it impossible."
"Sure, Woodstock ‘69 was planned in less than a year, but festival attendees weren’t promised lodging and food."
"They knew they’d be camping and would have to get their own provisions."
"Even then, there were logistical hurdles, such as the New York State Thruway succumbing to complete gridlock."
"Still, as far as festivals go, it was a relatively simple set-up."
"A better approach would have been for Fyre, the music booking app company behind the festival, to start small, such as on a beach somewhere with no inclusion of lodging or catering in the ticket packages."
"Concertgoers would know what to expect, and the festival would have been a lot more successful."
"If Fyre had done that for a few years, they would have built trust in their name brand, so when the time came for an actual festival on an island, Fyre Festival could have booked enough contractors to build lodging and hired enough vendors to make food for the whole weekend."
"Unfortunately, Billy McFarland’s hubris was enough that he wanted to skip ahead of the build up and go straight for the opulent."- Brunt-FCA-285
ja rule fyre festival GIFGiphyMore Like Great Leap Backwards...
"China's Great Leap Forward."
"The idea was to improve the country, but it ended with one of the worst man-made natural disasters in history."- Kartoffelkamm
While a good idea always requires imagination, we must also remember it's very easy for our imaginations to get the better of us.
Reality often has a way of bringing us back down to Earth and making us realize what looks good on paper doesn't always deliver.
(But seriously... who actually thought the Fyre Festival was going to work?)
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.
Not to startle any of you, but death stalks us.
We all have nightmares about diseases and murderers.
But what if, in the end, we just choke on a pickle we inhaled too fast?
Maybe instead of a pickle, a little coleslaw would have been the wiser choice.
We'll never know.
The most minute things can send us packing.
Redditor SuffocatedByThighs wanted to discuss the things that can extinguish our lives in the most basic ways, so they asked:
"What simple mistake has ended lives?"
Tripping over untied shoelaces.
It can break your neck.
TIE YOUR SHOES!!!
Off the Rocks
On No Falling GIF by Outside TV
Giphy
"There have been too many instances of rock climbers rappelling off of the ends of their ropes, which could have been easily avoided by tying stopper knots at the ends of their ropes."
LZRDLZRD
Seconds
"I worked at a tire place for a summer and the first thing they told me was 'See that torque wrench? One mistake with this and you can kill a whole family in a matter of seconds.' I thought well, better take this thing seriously."
FrenchMicrowave
"Man for a second I was thinking 'F**k you'd have to swing that thing around fast to take out an entire family' and just bluescreened on the idea of changing a tire."
lurking_my_a**_off
How Vexing...
"THERAC-25. The world’s deadliest software error. Cost several radiation patients their lives by administering lethal amounts of radiation, and for a while, the doctors didn’t even know."
Longjumping_Event_59
"THERAC-25 suffered a particularly vexing sort of error known as a race condition. Essentially, the circuit required multiple inputs in a particular sequence, but sometimes the timing of that sequence could get thrown out of whack and it would lead to all sorts of nonsensical output."
"This is less than ideal when all you're doing is manipulating pixels, but when your software is handling radiation beams you really don't want this to happen."
"Even more vexing is that race conditions are frequently heisenbugs, which can vanish altogether when one attempts to study them. If you don't have a good idea of what's causing the error, you may never cotton on to what sort of bad input is required to test it. Under those circumstances, it's easy to write them off as imaginary, only to then find."
dancingmadkoschei
Heavy Drifting
"Leaving the stranded vehicle on the road in winter and trying to walk to get help. It happens in rural parts of our province once or twice a year and they find the body a few days later. They get disoriented and freeze."
Regina_Runner
"I got blown off a road in high winds. Heavy drifting. Less than a mile from a friend's house after I had turned around. Drifts made it impossible to complete the trip. Trying to run a mile in full blizzard conditions was a fight for my life as an in-shape 24-year-old male athlete.
"rotyag
Simple Slips
Uh Oh Omg GIF by Bounce
Giphy
"Almost any simple mistake can end a life if you're an anesthesiologist, that's how my grandpa died in his early 60s."
dwserps
Any second. Any moment.
Stay vigilant people.
Celibacy could be better...
Oh My Wow GIF
Giphy
"Not being honest with doctors about Viagra. It has many dangerous drug interactions and can cause a lot of problems from what I’ve heard. Trust me the doctor ain’t gonna judge you guys, they have seen many more embarrassing things. And it would suck to die because you wanted to hide something just for it to be later stated in your death certificate."
The_upsetti_spagetti
Check the Numbers
"As a healthcare worker, giving the wrong amount of insulin."
UzumakiHorror
"During the first shift of my first clinical rotation in nursing school, I watched a nurse draw up insulin out of an auto-injector pen that was CLEARLY marked to specifically not do that AND she was drastically wrong about the dosage and almost killed a guy by giving him essentially like a hundred times the intended dose."
someguynamedg
Stay In
"Pulling the knife out of someone."
rcadephantom
"Yeah, I did that but it was a broken tree branch that had impaled my leg. Without even thinking I pulled it out. Blood started gushing so I pulled off my shirt and tied it into a pressure bandage. I was lucky I didn’t bleed to death."
Olddog_Newtricks2001
"Shock is an IQ reducer. I once sliced a bit off the side of my hand with a broken glass, and sort of dazedly picked off the piece of me and tried to stick it back on. It did not work."
UncannyTarotSpread
Stay Dirty
"Mixing cleaning ingredients."
Jonnysource
"My dad was trying to unclog his kitchen drain and mixed drain cleaners by adding one then adding another a few minutes later. It started bubbling and he began coughing intensely. I heard him coughing from the other room, saw what happened, and opened the nearby window to get rid of the chlorine gas he just produced."
"I forgot there was a large hive of wasps that had moved into that window and they did not appreciate this unexpected interruption. I took him to the emergency room for the gas exposure and it was tough explaining that the wasp stings were not why we were there."
CharmingTuber
Dear God
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden
Giphy
"A friend’s husband locked himself out of their home. He tried to get in through a window that had security bars. While squeezing through his foot slipped and he essentially hung himself on the window sill."
Cokej01
Life is fleeting. Here is proof.
LIVE!! But live smart.