Things All Guys Do But Would Never Admit To
"Reddit user Miguenzo asked: 'What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?'"
Men can be a mystery.
They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.
In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.
But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.
Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?
You do that? ME TOO!
Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:
"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"
Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.
That's a guy truth I'll admit to.
I like to be comfortable.
Playtime
U Know Flirt GIF by Wimbledon Giphy"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."
killsafety
"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."
OneMorePotion
"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."
Cigarettelegs
HER
"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."
Old_Situation4990
"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."
"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."
EngineersMasterPlan
Think About It
"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."
bbbbbthatsfivebees
Spoons and Forks
"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."
raviolixx
"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."
ZacInStl
Pick Away
jason clarke flirting GIF by Originals Giphy"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."
oldwhitch
"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."
AllDressedJalapenos
Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!
Whoops
Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."
Apprehensive_Sky9062
Sniffed
"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."
Individual-Option514
"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."
Zeallust
"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."
Papaya_flight
Inch by Inch
"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."
Just4TheSpamAndEggs
"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."
flightlessf**kbucket
Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."
Double_Win_9405
"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."
esoteric_enigma
I Feel Pretty
"Being friendlier to attractive women."
JoeSchmoe314159
"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."
"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."
bossmcsauce
"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."
Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor
At least once
"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."
TA2556
"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."
"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."
"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."
MRIchalk
Underneath
wicked GIF by Ice Cube Giphy"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."
Subject-Inflation805
"Gotta feed those shadow critters."
UnRealmCorp
I love the ice cube kick.
I think it's gender universal.
People are attracted to who they're attracted to.
We really can't control what revs our engines.
Everybody has a type of what they like in another person and what they don't.
Well, most people do.
There are a rare few who like anyone and anything.
One big attraction issue is height, particularly when it comes to dating apps where people can exclude certain heights.
Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
Nibbles
Jim Carrey Conan GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Bite her knees."
sudomatrix
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
Weaselot_III
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
Dudelison
LOL
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Liberty53000
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
jwright24153
If we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
Warning
Football Yes GIF by State FarmGiphy""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
Umbrella_merc
Anyways
“Okay.'"
Prfsnlclckclackr
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
StopThinkingJustPick
Cool Beans
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
buttdocs
Move On...
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Makalockheart
Leave it...
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
halej69848
Rock It!
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Hobbsy1978
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.
Even in this supposedly progressive modern age, far too many men feel self-conscious about the natural act of crying.
Feeling that it's not a manly thing to do, even though many would argue that it takes a real man not to be afraid to tear up publicly.
Of course, even the most unabashedly masculine men don't have complete control over their emotions and find their eyes watering unexpectedly every now and then.
Sometimes giving in to grief, sometimes overcome with joy, and sometimes simply owing to a corny commercial for coffee.
Sometimes this happens when nobody's around. Other men aren't so lucky.
"Men of Reddit, when did you last cry and why?"
Genuine Fear For Their Family
"Crying in my car right now."
"My wife has cancer."
"It scares me to death."
"I have to be brave at home."
"My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow."- shmozzfinish
"At the hospital with my 2-year-old daughter."
"She just had a seizure in the waiting room."
"I felt so lost and useless."
"But it cut the wait time down to seconds!"- garsk05
Grief
"Few weeks ago."
"Friend died."
"Cried myself to sleep for a few nights."- PizzaPoopF**k
Funerals
"3 years ago."
"In my fathers funeral."- JOVA1982
Pets Passing
"January 4th."
"On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard."
"During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry. I was questioning why I wasn’t."
"Then, standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home."
"His name was Snitchel, and he was a good 14-year-old pupper."
"I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it."
"Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days."- ASexyCow0090
Spousal Loss
"My wife died."- Pitbull60usa
It's Been So Long, They Wish It Would Happen.
"I don't remember."
"I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry."
"I wish I could cry like a kid again."- spootex
Too Much All At Once
"About 2 yeats ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal sh*t."
"Was at my limit of sh*t I can handle."
"I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident."- Mechanic_Me_Harder
"A few days ago."
"Broke down due to stress over everyday things."- einarn
Caught By Surprise
"Last night, just thinking about my mum."- TheH1dden1
Songs
"Last night, I heard 'Follow You To Virgie' by Tyler Childers for the first time, and memories of my mom hit me like a freight train."
"She’s been gone for 28 years now but when you least expect it the waterworks can come out of nowhere."
"Felt good if I’m honest."- GhostRN
Along With Many Others, No Doubt
"The Last of Us episode 3."- brucek951
A Broken Heart
"Tonight."
"My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore."
"I'm in love with her."- helenemayer
Unbridled Joy
"Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message."
"She replied back with 'I love you'."
"Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me."- raskoe47
Post Traumatic Stress
"Two weeks ago."
"When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me."
"I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th."- Karnezar
While Peter Allen may have encouraged us not to "cry out loud," to "keep it inside" and "learn how to hide [our] feelings," sometimes letting out a good cry proves to be just the therapy we need.
For what it's worth when Liza Minelli (coincidentally or not, Allen's ex-wife) covered the song, she altered it to exactly the opposite message.
When in doubt, go with Liza.
When it comes to certain behaviors, it's a gender thing.
Our different anatomy makes men specifically do things–like adjust their crotch area in public or just give up altogether and spread their legs while sitting on a subway train to make themselves comfortable.
But it's not just about moving a stuck testicle.
There are other peculiarities exclusively associated with men.
Curious to find out more about what else men typically do, Redditor Sythanytx asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is one thing that all guys do?"
Here's some behind the scenes examples of what guys do concerning what's between their legs.
Adjusting Period
"Pretending to put our hands in our pocket when actually we're actually trying to untangle our underwear."
– 0MrSoap0
Hands-Free Method
"The side step to unstick your junk from your thigh."
– decorativesofapillow
Here's what happens in the men's room.
Respecting Boundaries
"Give each other space at the urinals. 9 times out of 10, the only time you will see 2 guys using directly adjacent urinals is when there's no other choice. Otherwise, the rule is every other urinal, and we're pretty good at it."
– callingallcomas
Focus On The Task At Hand
"The stare blankly at the wall when peeing at a urinals."
"Looking to the side is punishable by death."
– barronelli
These behaviors occur before accomplishing a task.
Sound Check
"Pressing the trigger on your drill a couple of times as soon as you pick it up."
– bisquickvic
The Pat-Down
"What my brother calls the 'guy check.'"
"We slap our pockets to make sure we have our wallet, keys, and phone."
– yamo25000
Maybe it's a guy thing.
Clearing The Path
"Kick rocks off of the sidewalk or down the street."
– blueduck9696
A Boulder Move
"enjoy dropping big rocks into water etc."
– Wetvv
Hear Him Roar
"One time I was in a walking path that crosses over a lake. Two little boys were running to the shore and back up to toss in rocks. I walked down to the shore picked up a bowling size rock and threw it off the bridge for them. I was a god in their little eyes. Lol."
– 10_Virtues
Selective Knowledge
"I have no idea wtf is going on in most of my friends personal lives... Known them for years."
– KingYondu
How Presumptuous
"Critically think if the next woman that talks to us is flirting with us or is trying to be a friend.... usually we fail anyways."
– Hack3rsD0ma1n
Here's a twist, if you will.
It's no secret men have an advantage with peeing while standing.
But here's my personal secret, and it's not something all men do.
At home, I pee sitting down. It's for a sanitary reason. I don't want to make a splash and have micro droplets accumulating on the bathroom floor, because, gross.
I wish my husband felt the same; but, I can't complain.
He always puts the seat back down for me when he's emptied out.
Being a man can be a mess.
It's not all fun and games.
Of course, being a lady isn't fun 24/7 either, but let's talk about the boys.
There are problems and issues galore.
But no one talks about it enough.
Well, time for your Ted Talk.
Redditor Pale_Armadillo_254 wanted to hear about the downsides of being men, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, What's the one thing you hate about being a man?"
I hate having to always be chivalrous.
Like... open the door for me sometime.
Not Now
Linda Lavin Men GIF by CBSGiphy"Sometimes my penis just won't listen to me."
Enderman958
"My boyfriend every time I cry about something."
virtualspecter
Smooth Surface
"Baldness. I miss having hair to run my fingers through. In my teen years I grew it out because I knew I wouldn't have it for the rest of my life. I miss playing with it, I miss the warmth, and the cooling (short hair actually acts as cooling fins compared to being bald and sweat just pouring off)."
"I miss the sense of it being blown in the wind, I miss the slight protection against bumps and scrapes (cabinets are the bane of my existence). When I had a girlfriend, one of the nice things she would do would be to drape her hair over my head so I could reimagine having hair."
Ok-disaster2022
Dumbfounded...
"Being completely invisible. It can be an advantage. When I want to I can go about my day in peace without interruptions from anybody. And sometimes you just want to slip into the background and be anonymous. But at the same time nobody asks you how you are doing, if you need help or acknowledge that you exist at all. If you have problems you just have to deal with it yourself and get over it."
"On the plus side you get good at problem solving, but it can be mentally tiring and demotivating at times. A lot of men are completely starved for positive attention. Not just from women, but any kind of positive attention at all. The last time I heard anything positive about my appearance it was from grandma. It was 15+ years ago and I am pretty sure she was drunk."
"I talked with my wife about this a few years ago and she found it very weird and sad. After that she has started to say something positive from time to time to the people she work with. The first time she did it was one of her closest coworkers. He was completely dumbfounded by it. He knew very well that it was just a friendly compliment, but he said he didn't really know how to handle it. Because he could not remember the last time something like that had happened."
Ashtar-the-Squid
Knowledge
"The automatic assumption that I just know about mechanics, carpentry, and DIY."
grudthak
"I notice this with my dad, everyone assumes he knows what he's talking about when it comes to mechanics or DIY stuff but he has no idea so he comes to ask me or my mum because he's utterly clueless but yet no matter how much he tells people, they still keep coming back to him."
Zdos123
Angles
pee GIFGiphy"When I go to pee and have it all lined up just for it to shoot out a 40 degree angle."
beauz44
"Even worse is when you get a split stream where you can't angle both of them into the bowl at the same time."
RareKrab
Peeing is such an obstacle.
Man Up
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Many people in my life assume that I can just turn off my anxiety and depression at will to 'power through' because... manly man reasons."
therealjustin
"That’s one thing for me that I hate. I basically have to power through my negative feelings because everything will go wrong if I don’t. And then my friends and family wonder why I have issues being vulnerable."
TheMemeSaint177
Just Moms
"As a single dad, my son is generally excluded from things like park meet-ups or birthday parties because apparently, I don't fit in with the other parents. I've probably been told it a thousand times in a thousand variations. What they actually mean is I'm a man, and mums don't want me around because it's generally just mums."
wastelander78
Help Me
"Lack of emotional support. People always think you have some hidden agenda."
UniverseBear
"And when you voice frustration and upset, people take it as anger."
ChrisInBaltimore
"Try being 6'4 290lbs and having this issue. I've gotten written up at work because I was intimidating someone. For voicing my frustration."
Dimaethor
"This happened to me about 2 months back. Was getting pushed pushed pushed, regularly forced to work OT because the people above me couldn't manage deadlines properly. My voice raised a little expressing my frustration one day in the office, barely, and now management thinks I have an anger issue. Yet my boss yells at every thing. Time for a new job."
ArcaninesTail
In Copenhagen...
"About a month ago, I was walking down the street in Copenhagen, it was close to midnight, and I was the only one on the street. It was dark and a bit foggy. I was minding my own business, having my headphones on. I hadn't noticed, at some point, I was walking about 15 ft behind a young woman. She was clearly walking faster, slightly looking over her shoulder at me."
"I understood the situation, and stopped walking, pretending to look at windows, while she had time to walk out if sight. I understand why she probably was nervous, walking alone down a dark street, with and older guy walking behind her, and as such, gave her space to get some distance between us. I also hate, that, thats where we are."
Material_Ambition_95
Just Blah
Fashion Posing GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I guess men's fashion. I've had absolutely no luck finding anything I like, and all my current clothes are very plain."
Tylinator
Men, these things can certainly be frustrating. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.