There have been a few vixens I've saved some men folk from. But it wasn't easy. And sadly, straight, cis men never seem to learn. Be aware boys, black widow is not just a movie title.
How are You?
kim kardashian GIF by KUWTKGiphy"Does she ever ask you how you're doing (more than superficially), or seem interested in what's going on with your life?"
Needs
"Pretty much the same as when any person is just using you -- the relationship feels unbalanced and unequal, with you giving more than you are receiving. In a good relationship, friendship, whatever, both people are giving what they want to give without coercion and both feel adequately rewarded for it."
"Sometimes one person needs more, sometimes the other, but it evens out over time. When you feel like you're being coerced into giving more than you really want, whether that's with force or emotional manipulation or whatever, you're being used and you'll eventually resent it."
- munkymu
Off-Character
"Anytime you try opening up, you're acting off-character, selfish, an @ss, etc. it's usually the typical pathetic manipulation people pull to make you feel bad for either standing up for yourself or just trying to be you."
"I guess this behavior depends on how far into the relationship you are with those types of people. For instance, in several of my own interactions with people that eventually ended up using me, they were very keen on making me feel comfortable opening up and being vulnerable to establish that kind of connection and desire for more of it. Then, much later on when I was sufficiently hooked did they start with the negative reactions and manipulation."
Amen
"Your issues aren't worth talking about, but she will unload all of hers on you."
"Amen. Got out of a long relationship that turned into this just 6 months ago. Would sit and moan, whinge and kick off about the most infinitesimal things for hours but when even serious issues came up in my life like my brother attempting suicide, her response was "well he's an a**ehole anyway."
The Cycle
femme fatale smoking GIFGiphy"She doesn't act that interested when you are interested, flirting, contacting her, but when you stop, suddenly she is very interested and contacts you, a lot until you act interested again, the cycle then repeats."
People Describe The Worst Adult Tantrum They've Ever Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
See there? It's all very subtle. And this not to say men aren't just as bad. But we're focusing here for a certain purpose. Let's siphon out the ladies who have ill intent.
Single Side
fat honey boo boo GIFGiphy"One-sidedness. When she expects you to do things that she wouldn't do herself."
Blood Suckers
"Energy vampires. You should look that up, but basically selfish people that only care about themselves will unload all their emotions and problems onto you to feel better, but will never ever reciprocate because they feel their issues are important and don't view yours as important. It's about them and never about you, unless it affects them."
- Mugen593
"I was super into a girl that I worked with and we would hang out all the time after work. However, I was never getting anywhere with her. I know I had made my intentions clear and she never told me it would never happen...but just kept the possibility of it happening open. I eventually saw the writing on the wall and moved on and met my wife. I tell you, the second I stopped pursuing her and started acting like just a friend."
"She flipped on a dime and started laying it on strong. I would like to think that I was smart enough to not fall it. The reality is I was so smitten with my wife that I don't think anything could have made me notice another girl. If I had moved on to anybody else besides my wife I probably would have fallen for it all over again."
- Ashotep
I Hate Tangerines
"I was "dating" a girl who said she was too busy to go on a date on Saturday, and that she was only free on Tuesdays. She also said that she wanted to date other guys while dating me. She later admitted that she was cycling boyfriends through the week for free food. I dropped her like a bag of moldy tangerines."
Dinner?
Episode 1 Food GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"She never calls you by your name and you find out you're labeled "free food" in her phone."
"happy pill"
"A girl once called me her "happy pill" a nickname her therapist created cause I genuinely made her life so much better but she cheated on me anyway, My friend told me that you only take a pill when you need it and i've lived by that and use that as a filter for all my relationships."
Lungs Away
"She's in desperate need of a lung transplant and is always complementing you about what nice lungs you have and making offhanded comments about how you don't use your lungs much and could probably do okay without them."
Qualities
"She's always making posts telling her friends where you took her for dinner, birthday, holidays, vacation and what gifts you've given her, but never once does she say anything about any unique qualities she finds attractive in you."
"But how do you know she doesn't mention this to her girlfriends via text or conversation? Do you really need the internet to see something that's between the 2 of you? I personally cringe at those love declarations via social media, that's private stuff."
Tinting
Rose Colored Glasses GIF by StickerGiantGiphy"There are no signs big enough what will be visible through rose tinted glasses."
Let me tell you...
Oh, I can answer this one.
- When asking you for something (time/money/physical effort), if you say yes, she will almost always and immediately look for something else to ask you for that is related. eg: "Can you stop and pick up those hair things for me? [I say yes] Ok, can you also stop by the shop next door and get me that thing I like?" This kind of things isn't a big deal on occasion, but when it's a repeating pattern, it's a red flag.
- She will point out how much she messes with you and how "it's for you."
- Will treat any/most of your interests with disdain or indifference.
- Doesn't ever really care what you have to say.
- When you attempt to point out any inequality in the relationship, she will get extremely defensive and attack you for being selfish, and tell you you need to be more supportive/giving/"a real man." - mostlyBadChoices
Don't Speak
"If she has other men in her life (in whatever capacity), but you're not allowed to even speak to another woman - even an established platonic friend - without her flipping her crap. You are nothing to her but a source of drama and validation. Run (do not walk) away."
- belbsy
Liz!!!
"When she flirts with you all the time, and also everyone else, and asks you to come over to do complex electrical work and says she'll take you out to dinner, and you agree because you like the work and like being around her, but she brings her kids along and ignores you the entire time."
"Then when you're not around her she never texts or calls and just waves at you when you pass her at work every day, making no effort to talk to you whatsoever. And when you try to talk to her she gives you short answers like "Yeeeaaaaah"
"Forget you Liz!"
Flashed
"Idk if it counts but when she takes A LOT of time to text back most of the time but as soon as you invite her to a really good place (where she won't have to pay for anything) she is suddenly faster than Flash to respond and now answers quick as long as the topics are about going to said place."
All the Small Things
"Small things like body language whenever you take her out could be decent indicators... If she doesn't really seem all that into you but chooses to go out with you anyways and she's getting something out of it (food, materialistic things... Etc)".
Kim? That you?
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Always checking her phone, always talking and texting to someone else on her phone and spending your money."
Sometimes... they're just not that into you. And life will go on. Skip any and all drama. And know your worth. BAM. Lesson learned.
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Thing is, for every answer given there were ton of women who also struggled with that issue as well as men who totally disagreed. There were very few consistencies to be found - almost as if deciding only men or only women feel a certain way is ridiculous and people are just ... people?
Bonkers.
That said, here are some of the totally relatable responses. Because honestly, nobody is great with hints and doing nothing is one of the greatest activities ever invented.
Nothing
Bored Nothing GIFGiphyIf we say we're doing nothing, "nothing" is not a void to be filled; nothing is the activity and we love it.
Oh God yes. If I am doing nothing much, my wife always seems to want to fill it with tasks, assuming I am bored, when in fact I am more than happy doing whatever apparently pointless activity I have chosen to spend my limited free time on.
Expression
I'm not angry, I just don't have anything to say.
I find more often than not, I do have something to say, I just don't know how to express it... but it's not just because I don't want to talk.
I just don't know how to express it...
- at all
- in a way that won't hurt you, because i don't want to hurt you; I want to communicate with you, so we can change a thing that happens so it stops happening and we can both be happy
- in a way that won't hurt you because I don't want to hurt you, I want to communicate with you, so you know why I'm in a mood, and that the mood is based on like, sh!t from like, years ago, and this guy who wasn't thinking when he did a thing, and now I'm pissed at him, and pissed at myself for caring, and pissed at my dead father for sh!t from 20 years ago, and pissed at my friend, cuz he does something similar, but not the same, but close enough to make my hackles rise.... and...
No Tears
Just because I don't have tears running down my face doesn't mean I'm not as sad as you.
Sometimes I feel like I should be crying but I'll be right on the edge and nothing comes of it. Feels really unsatisfying, like I've cried and you feel better after but it's just the constant need to cry whilst being unable to.
- CCu1e
I relate the most to this one. Recently, I got the cold shoulder from my girlfriend because something really sad happened to her, and it caused a river from her eyes. Seeing her upset, of course, churned my insides into a sorrowful mess. Apparently, my face simply didn't get the message. I wish there was a way to relay the information that I am also upset.
So true. Lost my job yesterday from covid. I loved the job and most of the crew. My girlfriend was crying asking why she's more upset than me. I just don't like crying unless I'm truly as sad as I could be. At that time i was just accepting the reality and thinking of what to do next. I was still extremely sad.
Creep
I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep.
- El_CM
It's also nice to feel wanted as a man.
Or just not to feel like a dog humping a chair, like that it's not so one-sided.
I've made it super clear that I don't want her doing sex acts unless she feels like it, as I love feeling like they are genuine. I've found that a haircut, casual touch and conversation, normal amounts of nice cologne, and a clean house gets her much more in the mood to start things than anything else, though.
Try really cleaning everything up and making sure she's having relaxed fun with you. My social skills are crap and I look like a Neanderthal and it almost always works.
lesbian relationships have entered the chat
The issue comes from old school misogyny I've learned as a lesbian. Women have been socialized that if you initiate you're a slut whore, the phrase "won't buy the cow if you get the milk for free" comes to mind, even if you rationally (again as a lesbian this shouldn't apply) know that's not how things work anymore, that sht is so ingrained still. It sucks for everyone, that's why for women who like women is so hard to find partners because now you have everyone that has been socialized to not seek people out involved, so everyone just stays home with their cats.
Best Friends Be Like
best friends bff GIFGiphyWhy I don't know what the fck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.
- El_CM
He isn't dead, he isn't divorced, no new kids, and I'm not invited to anything. There's really nothing more we need to know.
Same experience with coworkers. My wife discusses matters beyond the confines of her job with her coworkers. She then tells me about them. Me? I forgot my coworkers exist the moment I leave in the afternoon. She gets a little miffed sometimes when she asks me what they're like and I have nothing to tell her.
Dropping Hints
Hints don't work. Just tell us what's up.
- Qwerzq-
I once said to a guy "I really like you" and he said thanks.... 10 minutes later he looks over and goes, "WAIT you meant LIKE LIKE?"
Before my ex and I started dating, we were just friends hanging out a lot. She dropped hints all the time, which I never ever got. One day, we were watching tv, laying down in the same bed, cuddling, as all coworkers do. She then turned and started staring deeply into my eyes. Then, she started kissing my nose and forehead, before finally she started kissing me on the lips.
I stopped after getting over the shock I pushed her off and asked "Wait, do you like me??"
She sighed and kept kissing me
I was still unsure.
I feel like a lot of clueless guys say this online because they never figured out what flirting is, why people do it, and why it can be enjoyable.
To simplify, unambiguously telling someone "I would like intercourse" is not seductive or fun, and is such an obvious approach that if the girl gets turned down it is embarrassing. The whole point of flirting is to avoid that potential embarrassment by maintaining plausible deniability. It's a dance between two people, where how you say something is as important as what you say.
This is fun. It's an exciting way to build a connection while slowly increasing the tension. It also let's you show that you are capable of holding a conversation, reading social cues, thinking quickly, and having a sense of humor.
For those reasons I, and a lot of other guys, actually really enjoy this subtle dance and the excitement it brings. And it frustrates me to see my entire gender being typecast as clueless when you're really only describing yourself.
Feelings
When I talk about my feelings I want to be heard, understood and something to change. When we fight about my feelings it only makes me repress those feelings.
This right here. I don't talk about my feelings often, but when I do, it's important. Telling me that my feelings are invalid just makes me hold back longer next time I feel the need to talk.
This is something that I've been struggling with. I was raised to think that real men don't show emotion, and now that I'm in a relationship I need to in order for it to be healthy. But when I finally do, I feel like it's ignored or not as important as what's going on with her. Makes it harder to speak up every time when it feels like you're just yelling into the void rather than having a conversation.
Painful Endings
We're not afraid of marriage. We're afraid of divorce.
- BigMilk0
Similarly, I'm not afraid of getting into relationship, I'm not even afraid of asking someone out and getting rejected, I am afraid of being in the relationship for a long time and getting invested and then getting dumped.
5 years single since my first and last relationship went poorly, and it doesn't look like I'll be ready for another relationship anytime soon in the next few years.
I dated a woman for 2 years. I treated her kids like my own and watched them grow up for those 2 years. I built play houses and bought xmas gifts and read them to sleep.
Then the woman and I broke up.
I don't miss her, but I miss the kids. I don't ever want to go through that again. I'd rather be single.
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If You're Nasty.
GiphyHow often we are called a nasty name for turning down someone's advances. 5nitch
Futon Creep.
My boyfriend and I went to pick up a futon we had bought from a yard sale site, we went to the guys house. It was dark at the time because it was the only time that worked for us all. When we got out of the car to go inside I made a quick scan of my surroundings and made a note that there was a shovel leaned up against the house, and there were bricks in a little garden area.
The man we were getting it from made a joke about being trusting to come at night and it TERRIFIED me, and I was thinking "okay I know where there are items I can use to defend myself at least, if something happens." The whole time they were carrying the futon out I made sure to not take my eyes off the man. Things ended up fine, but I told my boyfriend about it in the car and he was so shocked and said he never even had the slightest feeling of danger or distrust. lander_nedla
Walking Around.
Yeap. I took a creative writing class in college where I guy wrote a poem about how racist it is for women to be afraid of walking next to him on the street at night (he was Latino) and while yeah I'm sure some people are doing it because of his race, I always thought he was missing the bigger picture of all unknown men are a potential threat to women. You best believe I never walk alone next to a man I don't know. kickingboys
Wasted Energy.
The non-stop mental energy we devote to maintaining our safety. In public, at work, in every interaction we have with a man we don't know well (and sadly sometimes also with men we do know well), in our homes, in our cars, on the internet... it doesn't ever stop. I'm not saying I live my life in fear. It's so ingrained that I wouldn't even personally call it a burden but it's certainly additional mental red tape. Every single decision or circumstance needs to be evaluate, often instantaneously. whitezhang
The Climax!
GiphyJust because penetration is enough to get you off doesn't mean it's enough to get us off. Least-Gap
YES! Even my poor husband, bless him, still has trouble understanding this! Like if we do certain positions that don't do anything for my clit, he doesn't get that I'm not going to climax from just that.
He's very sweet and does always make sure I finish before he does - he just gets confused when a position isn't doing it for me lol. thhungryduckling
"Women are like this. Women like that..."
We are not all the same. We have different opinions and taste. I met a lot of Men over the years that think that we are all kind of similar. "Women are like this. Women like that..." No. For example, some Women like shopping, other don't.
If we tried to know each others as persons, things would be a lot better. sonia72quebec
"prove them wrong"
How people tend to automatically question what you say, or address it as though you're unsure or you're asking them. Guys tend to have their words accepted, or only questioned after the fact.
How people tend to automatically undermine or dismiss your authority, regardless of your position.
You sometimes have to escalate a situation that should be minor or not an issue at all. You also have your ability questioned or assumed as substandard until you "prove them wrong."
How your accomplishments will be questioned or undermined. You finally get the opportunity to try and succeed? The standards were lowered. You slept with your grader. You cheated. It wasn't really that difficult, and so on. DC_MEDO_still_lost
BOOBS.
Having big boobs sucks. Okay yeah they're squishy sure and you can bury your face in them because for whatever reason you enjoy doing that but from my personal experience... they are a damned nuisance. Starting from when I was a kid, boys used to try to throw shit down my shirts, it became such a big problem that the principal got involved and that was humiliating. Then in high school my best friend and I were called "the DD twins" that was damn annoying.
Then also in high school I went to get my nails done at some nail salon and the two lady owners wouldn't stop grabbing them, they also didn't speak English well so idk wtf they were doing?!? Again in high school I was top student and won an award. My parents showed up to watch me walk across the stage to accept it and last minute the principal told me I couldn't go get my award because of my outfit. Meanwhile other girls were wearing spaghetti straps. My mom confronted the principal and he admitted it was because the shirt made my boobs look too big.
Wtf!! Also, I have to wear two sports bras to do any exercise. After two kids that were near suffocated while breastfeeding, my boobs now practically touch my knees. I can't ever find clothing that fits over my boobs and isn't a tent everywhere else. The hurt after I take my bra off. If I lay on my back they touch my chin and that's an awful feeling. The list could go on forever. Seriously, they suck. NoSpring4
Commonalities.
GiphyThat women's general motivations in life are not significantly different from men's, and that women are no more of a monolith of motivational drives than men are.
Basically, we're just like you in the brain. With all the complexity that involves. RedshiftSinger
Are You Sure?
Men don't understand what it's like to have people always discourage you from big career goals/undertakings. I am applying to medical school and I can't tell you how many people try to discourage me because "when will you have kids?".... btw, not even sure I want kids at all. It sucks, feels like people think your only value is in being a homemaker
And even if they don't give motherhood as a reason to discourage me, I still get met with ".... wow! Really? You want to be a doctor? That's a big undertaking/very competitive... are you sure?" And I can't help but wonder if a man would get those same responses on the regular
*EDIT: I know medical school is indeed a big undertaking/very competitive and that a lot of males probably get discouraged too. miss_appa
Pills.
GiphyThe pill isn't just to prevent pregnancy. It makes your periods more manageable. Some of us bleed heavily enough to be anemic without it. rapidecroche
Padded....
Pads don't literally attach to your vagina. Christmaspoptart
Just asked my husband where he thinks pads go and he confidently said the wings stick to your thighs. They really have no clue, god forbid he'd have to teach our future daughter these things. EdgarAlansHoe
"ok, got it"
We cannot hold in menses. A menstruating vagina is like an open wound, it just bleeds sporadically when it wants to.
I wish we could just hold it and expel it in one go, that'd be awesome! greffedufois
Is this an American thing I'm too Asian to get? Every male that I've interacted with about periods have been more like "ok, got it". I've even had male colleagues give me pain killers (even tea) when I tell them I have cramps. KoishiChan92
No Fear.
It's not necessarily personal when we're wary or afraid of you-it's the men before you that have shown that we need to be careful. When you're at a physical disadvantage that fear heightens no matter the intentions of the other party. zoeyjax
Don't Follow.
GiphyBeing followed in a car. In my college years I had someone follow me on side streets (my car couldn't handle the freeway so I took a long route home) for almost 20 miles. Instead of going home, I parked in the police station down the street from my house and the guy following me drove away. One of the scariest nights of my life. othybear
Leave Me Alone!
Period cramps and how painful they can be.
Some days I'm literally writhing on the couch from the pain and not even ibuprofin or ice can help. It can last hours and it feels like someone is constantly chewing my uterus with sharp fangs. If I say I'm staying home from work/school for period cramps, I'm not being a wimp. I cannot even think through the pain. It's not every period that I get them that bad but when I do, hooo boy. frostbirb
BOOM!!
The real landmine that is responding to DMs. If I ignore you, I'm a b!tch. If I'm friendly, I'm leading you on. If I tell you I'm married right off the bat, I'm conceited for assuming that you were trying to flirt with me (even if you very clearly were). PixelLaurs
the size of it....
That the threat of being physically overpowered feels very real. Not just in the context of being assaulted, but in general. The lingering feeling that if this dude really wanted to he could kill me with his bare hands. I guess this could be gender nonspecific, but being generally on edge and female doesn't help with the "sizing people up in case they try to lunge a me or something" issue. Just being smaller than anyone sort of puts me on edge, and I've heard from other women they have similar thoughts. hellhoundMcdogpound33
Tech No Support.
The fact that I have to often prove to my male coworkers and customers that I, shockingly, do in fact know what I'm talking about at work. Never mind the fact that I have a degree. It's usually customers, but when they expect a man, they will question everything you try to do to resolve their problem. Sorry boss, I'm not a slow worker, it just takes 2x as long to get the customer to trust me (tech support). Canadian_Toast
Got a Pen?
Giphy- How scary it is every time you go out at night alone, whether it's walking to your car or getting gas
- How expensive bras are. The first bra I've ever had thats been fully supportive was $105. My others, that don't do stuff, are $30-60
- What's with the luxury tax on tampons and pads? How are those luxuries? How are those considered luxuries, but condoms aren't? People aren't gonna stop having sex, but there is no easy way at all out of your period (plus the ruined clothes and sheets)
- Oh and I can't forget about my chronic back pain from 10% of my body weight being on my chest. moistmemes024
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Beauty regimes, arts and crafts, and being in touch with your feelings should have never been given the label of being "for women." Anything can be enjoyable for anyone, no matter their gender. Men no longer have to fear being called names for enjoying "feminine" things and activities.
Redditor u/DaMain-Man asked men,
"What's something you enjoy thats considered 'unmasculine'?"
It started a wholesome conversation between men about their favorite products and activities that don't fit into the "manly" category.
Sara Bareilles has some big fans out there
"Sara Bareilles songs."
"IMO one of the most underrated singers."
Wine, cats, and candles
"I have more than once found myself in Walmart just to buy wine, cat food, and candles. I like wine, I love my cat, and I like it when my house smells good."
Sounds like a fun time
"I'm in a burlesque troupe and it's sexy and awesome but there aren't many men in the scene"
It's the best way to drink coffee
Giphy"Big giant sugary fake coffees that are more like milkshakes"
*plays the soundtrack for 'Wicked'*
"I enjoy some musicals. I don't lie about this fact but I also only listen to them when I'm alone."
Pink is just a color
"I really like to wear pink colored clothes, especially the soft pink ones."
"Some other guys find it 'unmasculine' or 'weird'
"It's just a color dude, chill"
A squeaky voice helps animals understand you
"Whenever I interact with a pet (dog/cat) my voice immediately goes from 20 year old adult male to 5 year old little girl excited about her Christmas presents and I start conversing (often very loudly) with them as if they understand me."
He caught K-Pop fever
"I listen to EXO a lot. I hide it very well. I dont like them because they dance and show their abs i just like the music their voices and their rythym."
Nothing like a comfy toilet seat
"A sit down piss."
"Sometimes I just treat myself to a sit down piss, but there is this idea that men should only ever piss while standing up."
"Nah!"
"I'm tired I've had a long day and I have a full bladder."
User Deleted
Dealing with people is stressful
"I let my wife fight my battles on the phone with insurance companies, medical billers, vendors, banks, credit cards, whatever. She does it for work as a biller herself and she relishes going into combat with those people."
We all have skin, it's best to take care of it!
Giphy"Looking after my skin, my favourite part of the day is cleaning my face- exfoliating and then moisturising."
These guys aren't afraid to get emotional
"Crying when I'm sad."
"I cry during movies for some reason. Happy cries, sad cries, I just get emotional sometimes you know?"
Brocheting > crocheting
"It's been a while, but I used to really like to crochet."
"You get to call it brochet"
That's a great scent actually
"My girlfriend regularly buys me a women's shower gel called 'snow fairy', a pink product that smells amazing. She knows it's my guilty pleasure and I don't care that I'm a tall, burly guy in the army."
"Nobody messes with my snow fairy."
He discovered the secret to a soft beard
"I don't know exactly what it is but my SO has bath stuff that makes the water kind of milky and smooth. I used it once. Would definitely use it again if the mood struck. Made my beard crazy soft, like a super conditioner."
Why have beer when you can have fruity deliciousness?
"Fancy, 'girly' cocktail drinks. Tastes amazing."
Cooking is one of the more important skills
"It's not considered feminine anymore but was for a long time... cooking!
I love cooking, basically anything to experiment with new foods."
Who isn't weak for puppies and kitties?
Giphy"Cats. Cats are the greatest things in the world because they're like tiny, stupid people."
"I love puppies!"
He's living the ideal life
"I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea"
Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.
Not the testies...
"Hitting another man's testicles."SonOfTyrone
"Unless it's in self defense under threat of death or serious injury."finlshkd
Not Cute!
"Bragging about being able to drive under the influence, or on the phone."
"Like what am I meant to say, 'congratulations, you needlessly put others at risk to boost your own ego, props to you, fool!'"BinnsyTheSkeptic
Pee Right.
"Peeing in a urinal with your pants all the way down."aioli_man
"And pulling your shirt up above your chest too."steingrrrl
Out of curiosity.....
"Out of curiosity since I saw some comments about cheating and bad behavior towards women, if a guy you know, maybe even consider him a friend or an acquaintance was playing multiple women, leading them on and lying to them, would you say something to any of the women or would you let the women find out eventually themselves because it's none of your business?"ShadowBoxerBabe
"Guys only want one thing"
"Dudes that brag about skating out as soon as they get a girl pregnant. Like why have sex unprotected if you don't want kids with her. Also it continues the "Guys only want one thing".OakyGrim
Just Yuck!
"Cheating on their SO. That's real trashy and they expect you to not care that much just because you're friends. Like no dude. Gross."orion109
Drunk you is still a a part of you.....
"Getting handsy on alcohol. Be able to control yourself or stay damn sober fool!"Quasar_One
"Even worse. Is feeling fine the next day because "you were drunk". That's not a damn excuse. Even when I sobered up the next day, I'd be embarrassed by stupid stuff I'd said and done. Drunk you is still a a part of you."dmkicksballs13
Talk Honest Bro.
"When a dude talks down about his girlfriend when she's not around. Constantly joking about what a drag she is or like, how he had to 'break out of the house' to be there or something. Just makes them sound like they straight up don't like her, it's really gross."Jackielegs93
Be kind for Service...
Giphy"Being mean to a waiter, or anyone in the service industry while going out. It's literally so low, and makes me so mad." bearface7771
"And it is always done by dudes who have never worked a customer service job before. They work for their daddy's construction business and think that makes them an expert in how things should work. Meanwhile if they had to work a single day as a server they would cry and rage quit."Comprehensive-Olive
Grow Up.
"Seeking physical violence because you're unable to deal with conflict in other ways. Majorly pathetic. Grow up."mcarlini
"Being a fool. Using violence against people when it's not self-defense. This applies to people in general. I don't have anything gender specific as I don't believe in one gender having the right to do things that the other gender wouldn't be allowed to."Blunders4life
Where Dogs Lie....
Giphy"A woman I used to work with was sleeping with a married man who didn't want to leave his wife because she was pregnant. He would come in to our place of work with his wife sometimes, but when he would come in alone he would try to be cool with the staff because he was "with" our coworker but all I could think about is what a prick he was."Dr_The_Captain
Do No Harm.
"Being abusive especially to children."ufjhfhcc
"And animals. When I saw my ex kick his dog that peed in the house, I started forming my escape. He never even bothered to train the dog, so shouldn't have reacted that way when the dog had no idea that what he did was even wrong." jessiker
Playing dirty in the dating game......
"Make deliberate attempts to discredit other male friends to secure their chance with a female in the social circle. Playing dirty in the dating game essentially. I find it absolutely disgusting."BlueKat25
"My girlfriend (now wife) and I met up with my sister and her friend for drinks a few years back. While there a guy walked up to our high top and immediately started talking crap to me in an attempt to woo the three women. I mean just total fool comments."
"Little did he know he had just walked into a lioness' den and I just sat back and watched him wilt under the three headed onslaught of some of the most assertive women I know."Vanderwoolf
No XXX!
"Leaking his gf nude as a revenge after breaking up with her."RobertDentist
"One of my exes did this. He spread it around to allllll my previous coworkers, since he worked where I used to. Luckily I never included my face in any of my nudes. After him, I'll never take photos like that again. It still makes me feel sick that he has those, and that unsavory sexist pigs at my old workplace probably have them too." HellyHailey
No Respect.
Giphy"Going after another dude's girl despite knowing their relationship and how happy they are in it."McDazzler
Shame on YOU!
"Sharing intimate sexual details about his girlfriend/hook-ups in a pathetic attempt to impress me." exportkaffe
"Just that kind of shaming in general, it says more about the one dishing it than the one being made fun of."
"Okay so you hated their body in this case something they couldn't control and you were with them and now you're... making fun of them? What are we doing here? Get over them and grow up jeez, I have one ex I really do not like and I still don't body shame like that."Monteze
Be Nice.
"Being mean to impress a girl, there is this one dude who is a real damn fool if that girl is around, no matter what lessons we have etc. He doesn't have a GF."AlmdudlerKing
"They do it to impress their male friends too."JayPunker
Be Unhooked....
"Getting hung up on a girl clearly not interested in them. I'm not talking about in like high school where you have no clue what you're doing anyway. I'm talking about full grown adults obsessing with coworkers and going full nice guy. Along those lines, guys who get upset when attractive girls aren't attracted to them when they put zero effort into themselves."biggman57
Shut Up!
"Cat calling...."
"Drives me crazy. My partner will often tell me about people yelling out of their cars and following her for blocks while on her walk home. We have since got her some pepper spray in case things get too out of control, but I just wish I could do something about it." JohnDough39
Bedroom Secrets.
Giphy"Cheating or bragging about all the women you bed. There's no bro code when it comes to that crap, I'm not in the business of being involved with someone who couldn't care less to ruin or embarrass people." s_team7
We hope you were listening, guys. Let's nix ALL of this behavior.