People Explain What They Bought With Their First-Ever Paycheck
Reddit user MisterChiTown92 asked: 'What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?'
Working a first job is an important part of growing up.
Whether it's working a paper route (do kids even do this anymore?) or working at a video rental store (do those even exist anymore?) first-ever part-time jobs establish important life values and lessons to the youth.
Also, there's nothing that validates accomplishment at a young age more than being able to buy something with their hard-earned money.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor MisterChiTown92 asked:
"What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?"
These generous Redditors found value in paying it forward.
Dinner's On Me
"It was 1976, I was making a whopping $2.50/hour at age 16 (20 cents higher than minimum wage, and it was an office job so I wasn't on my feet all day)....my family didn't have a lot of money (which is why I started working while in the 11th grade), so with my first paycheck I took my Mom and brothers out to dinner at Big Boy. I remember being all proud to say 'Get whatever you want, even the combo meal and a milkshake, it's on me."'
– Ouisch
Dinner Miscalculation
"I took my mom out to a fancy French restaurant. I had no idea how much it was going to cost, then plus tip, I didn’t even have enough! So she had to help me pay the rest. My mom still joke about that from time to time when we go out with the family."
"That was almost 25 yrs ago, damn time flew by."
– jonwtc
Gift For Mom
"I bought my mother a beautiful shawl. I never saw her wear it but it was in with her things when she died nearly 50 years later."
– WakingOwl1
These Redditors got to reward themselves with the things they enjoy most.
Creating Memories
"About twenty bucks of my first paper route earnings, for the pizza buffet and soft drinks, and some arcade games, with my best friend."
"While the shape I've been in has varied over the years, I've kept that stamina I built up hauling around damn near my weight in newsprint. For long endurance rides, hikes with a loaded-up pack, and running."
– ArmsForPeace84
Brand New Kicks
"I was 14 and got a job as a bus boy at a local BBQ joint. With my first check, I went and bought myself a pair of blue/brown Airwalk shoes. I remember how cool it felt to be able to buy something for myself and not have to ask my parents."
– johnnybmagic
Scoring Big Time
"A Playstation 2. Excellent buy, kept it for a over decade before buying an Xbox One."
– Birdo-the-Besto
"It was an Xbox 360 for me. Loved that console."
– HabeLinkin
"Still have a modded PS2. Had a hard drive with games on it too. It still turns on last I checked, I wonder if the hard drive still works..."
–DubaU
A Timeless Treasure
"My family owned a construction business, and my father had me on site for as long as I could remember. I don't remember the first thing I ever bought with what he paid me, but I remember the first thing I set out to buy and had to work for weeks to get the money for. It was a Lego castle set. $49. I'm almost 50 now, and I still have it."
– Spodson
Naughty Pleasures
"lol I bought a candy g-string so I could eat it off of my girlfriend while she was wearing it, and a black cowboy hat with spikes on it from Hot Topic hahaha"
– dirtydickmf
Some recalled having to prioritize taking care of business over indulgences.
The Necessities
"gasoline and insurance to continue to be able to go to work."
– TurpitudeSnuggery
"I remember getting my first paycheck being so proud of it and my stepfather goes wow you don't have enough for gas. How are you getting to work for the next two weeks? Made me realize I needed to work more."
"I should also put in here that this was my first on the books paycheck. Made it feel a little different."
– truelydorky
Saving Up For Wheels
"Used to mow lawns and do odd jobs for cash when I was a kid. When I got my first 'real' paycheck that I had to cash at a bank, I saved every penny for several months until I bought my first car at age 16."
"Had zero expenses back then, which made it easy to save money. Fun memory."
– YupHio
Building A Wardrobe
"Clothes."
"I had to start working at the age of 12 because my parents could no longer afford to buy clothes for me."
– Opposite-Purpose365
I worked at a video game store in the mall when I was 15.
I was miserable being stuck behind a counter in a tiny corner store with hardly any adequate air circulation. Working with a personality-clashing co-worker didn't help things either.
But when I got my first paycheck, I remember thinking it was a major milestone and reward for enduring the unpleasant work conditions.
I used my first-ever earnings on a denim jacket from the Gap at the mall where I worked. I wore that stone-washed jacket with pride at school for years.
What was your most prized purchase from your first paycheck?
Whether we like it or not, the fact that each and every one of us will expire one day and go off into whatever the next phase of existence is is a harsh reality.
So we might as well make the most of the time we have while we're here and leave our mark.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave for the succeeding generations?
Curious to hear from strangers online about how they want to be remembered posthumously, Redditor D_And_R_Gaming asked:
"What do you want written on your tombstone?"
There is still humor in death.
Misunderstanding
"I asked to be cremated what the hell"
–Aksjer
"I was going to say 'Bacon Cheeseburger' but then realized that’s Jack’s, not Tombstone."
– ImAF'kinLiar
Life Is A Crapshoot
"I've made many dumb decisions in my life, and only one of them got me killed."
– kinda_fruity_ngl
"Russian roulette without the roulette."
– Aquahert
People got creative.
Keeping Score
"A Steam review of Life:"
"309,936 hours played 'It's OK.' 👎 Does NOT Recommend "
<em>– Anti</em><span></span><em>Theory</em>
-Reddit
Old School
"(My Name)"
"1964 - 2137"
– TrailerParkPrepper
"My spidey senses tell me you are from Poland."
– itstoolatebro
Careful What You Wish For
"Slightly off topic….but I saw a picture of a headstone once that had a cookie recipe on the back of it. The poster said that while grandma was alive, they’d ask her for her famous cookie recipe and she’d say, 'over my dead body'. So, when she died, they found the recipe and put it where she always said - over her dead body."
"I don’t care if it’s true or not; that’s savage and I’m here for it!"
– Fluffy_Momma_C
There seems to be no limit to what you can have on your epitaph.
We Have Options
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[X] Save & Quit"
– theyusedthelamppost
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[ ] Save & Quit
[X] Quit
I don't have to be saved"– Mor_Hjordis
Spirit Rises
"My body lies but still I roam."
– twistedsister78
"Roamer, Wanderer, Nomad, Vagabond, Call me what you will"
– cooperkfb8
Message To Mortals
"GET OFF MY DAMN GRAVE!!"
– LucyVialli
"In really small writing... 'you're standing on my balls'"
– reiveroftheborder
Only The Strong Survive
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
– parataxis
"Evidently you didn't get stronger."
– 69420memes
How Bewitching
"A short melody in sheet music carved into the stone that causes bad weather and time travel paradoxes when repeated."
– MrLuxarina
A Lasting Impression
"I dunno but when I was a kid I came across the tombstone of a world war 2 vet. And on the tombstone was his picture. He has very long canine teethe like a vampire, on the stone was a poem that read"
“'Beware kind friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare for death and follow me.' It’s just something I’ve never forgotten."
– Ok-Hovercraft2713
I remember being amused as a kid waiting in line to ride Disneyland's iconic Haunted Mansion attraction.
Up on a hillside adjacent to the Antebellum-style manse were a series of headstones with darkly humorous epitaphs.
One that particularly drew my attention was one that read:
"Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head. R.I.P."
At the time, I really did think gravestones explained how the deceased perished, and that this one was intentionally funny.
Can you imagine?
Purposefully inflicted pain.
One of the most famous examples I can recall is that walking on coals nonsense.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!
That and Bikram yoga. Good Lord the heat.
The things humans will put ourselves through is astounding.
The things we can actually withstand is kind of amazing though.
Redditor Ok_Security_8657 wanted to hear about the times we've had to suffer through, so they asked:
"What is the most painful thing you've ever experienced, *on purpose*?"
Let's see what stories Reddit had to contribute.
Twice?!
Season 2 Couch GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Novocaine doesn't work on me. For submarine service you have to have all of your wisdom teeth removed. The Navy does not use anything other than novocaine. They only pull two at a time though. I went back the second time."
LeepII
Salted
"I cut my thumb pretty bad years ago while using a knife in my kitchen. And looking at the salt shaker on the counter I got the idea to literally. Pour salt on a wound. It was like an electric shock was sent through my nervous system. A short but very intense feeling of pain. Use salt water/saline instead."
SidOfBee
"Technically it is an electric shock as salt has negative ion that if the condition is correct it would shock your nerves."
Kaperal
Feel It
"I have a friend who got a lung biopsy WITHOUT numbing and pain meds. She was 14. She said she wanted to 'feel it' like the biopsy on her knee (which did, in fact, use drugs). She says it was the most painful experience of her life. She had 26 cancerous tumors big enough to show up when on the scan of her lungs. She is happily married, alive and well, and a total bada**."
_ohhello
Welp
"I cut my arm open trying to catch a falling glass once. Saw the insides. To be thorough, I cleaned the wound by alternating squirting isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide in it. A little later my surgeon friend told me soap and water would have been good enough to clean it. Welp."
sbvp
"Next time use coffee grounds. I've also heard of people using chili powder but that seems like it'd be nasty."
Lordofdogmonsters
Motionless
Jake Johnson Pain GIF by New GirlGiphy"IUD fitting. Thought it was all fine because I didn't have too much pain during the procedure... 12 hours later I could not move from the pain and had to get my mum to deliver pain killers to my flat at 7am next morning bc I'd gone through everything we had."
Chance-Bread-315
Painkillers 24/7 for somethings please.
WHITE HOT AGONY
madeline kahn flames GIFGiphy"Recently, I had a couple plantars warts cut out of my feet. The shots they use to numb you suuuuck. Went right into the bottom of each of my feet under the big toes. WHITE HOT AGONY. Thankfully, the pain doesn't last very long, and the operation was pretty much painless after that."
NervousCap
Not Cool
"Getting my eyes washed after being Pepper sprayed. We were given a chance to experience the proper stuff while in military. My mind went 'Hell yeah, that will be cool!' Well, got sprayed, had to walk 5 meters to a person holding a water bottle so he could rinse my eyes. Motherf**ker had warm/hot water in the bottle and he poured it to my face."
"It burned even more and I got waterboarded at the same time."
"I've heard that you can experience pain that makes you fear you will die. Maybe, but at that moment I learned that you can feel pain that makes you fear that you might not die, and you have to suffer that pain."
Tit_U_Lum
Bad Removal
"The most painful experience of my life was passing a kidney stone, though whether or not it can be considered to have been experienced on purpose is debatable. I certainly contributed to its development through my choices, but that’s another story."
"On the other hand, I had an ingrown toenail removed before."
"After removing the entire side of the nail, the doctor chemically burned the exposed nail bed with a chemical called phenol. Even though my toe was entirely numb, it was the most white hot searing pain ever. It hurt so bad it took my breath away. The best part is that the toenail came back, and I’m getting it done again in two weeks."
Gordoniscool666
Truth Hurts
"Decided I had to tell the woman I fell in love with that I had feelings for her. I knew before I told her that she would reject me. She was not in a mentally healthy place and didn’t want to be with ANYONE. But I wanted her to know the truth. So I took the rejection like a man and we are still friends."
Horror-School-6713
Done
"Putting my wedding ring on our bedroom dresser (knowing my marriage was over) while my wife was across town doing a police officer she had met at the shooting range. I walked out of our house and have not spoken to or seen her since. That was over 40 years ago."
wyoflyboy68
Bye Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"Putting my dog down. She passed in my arms. There's a song that I associate with her which I can't hear without tearing up, despite her exiting my life more than a decade ago."
GeebusNZ
These are some brave folks who have been through some enormous pain. We thank thank for sharing!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comment section.
Much of human history must have been an olfactory challenge. For one thing, people are smelly, and the commonality of bathing before the 20th century in some cultures was questionable.
For another, there are recorded periods of history that are full of things like open trenches where people would flush their waste.
These things are mercifully no longer a part of our daily lives.
But that doesn't mean bad smells have been eradicated. Much to the contrary, because of how uncommon they are, we notice them even more.
Redditor JA-darkside asked:
"What smell have you experienced that you will never forget?"
Here were some of those answers.
Dark Days On The Ward
"Hospitals. Both of my parents died two months apart and I was in them every day. I'll never forget that weird, sanitized smell."-PREClOUS_R0Y
"That probably explains my aversion to Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds and most flowers. Grandpa died when I was 3, and we had many other deaths in the family before I even turned 10."-tacobelmont
Sense Memory
"Literally all of them. I'm that person who will smell a rosewater lotion and be like 'Wow this smells like the bathrooms at the Foxwoods casino!!'"
"I haven't been to Foxwoods since I was 8, though I was there semi-frequently due to my parents working there. But for real, almost any damn smell I can connect to SOME point in my life."-AriIsMySavior
It Buuuuuuuurns
"Ammonia. I did some work at a fertilizer plant, they had a urea tower where they used a lot of ammonia and every once in a while you would find yourself downwind and get a blast of it."
"Not only does it smell bad it burns your mucous membranes. You can feel the 3D shape of your sinuses inside your head when they get irritated all at once."-OhAces
These smells are sure to (figuratively or literally) burn their way into your memory.
A Little Creepy Dude
"There was this girl I liked that is friends with my buddy in college."
"When my other friends and I were visiting them one weekend, I slept on the floor of her dorm and she had this air freshener plug-in that smelled very sweet like vanilla and flowers or something similar."
"When I got back home from visiting, my pillow smelt like that for the next couple nights and it reminded me of her every time I went to bed. It was some of the best sleep I've had in my life."-Round_Rectangles
The Past In A Room
"My Grandpa's study in his very old house. His study was full of books, the smell of cigars smoked long ago, old carpet, aging furniture, scotch, etc."
"I was at a wedding recently where the venue was a 'club' for management/corporate type people. It was old, probably hadn't been updated since the 80's."
"I walked into one of the lounges and was hit with the same smell and thrown back into my childhood at his house."-ialo00130
There Was Going To Be One About Diarrhea.
"Diarrhea, once I believe I consumed food that was poisoned and I had horrible diarrhea that was dark brown, it came out like pee."
"It lasted for about a week and the stench wasn’t the worst part, it hurt like hell. I lost around 10 pounds over the span of a week because I wouldn’t eat and if I did I would either throw it up or just poo it out."-LennyGaming69
Wow, I'm On Fire!
"The smell of my hair burning when i lit myself on fire. I was trying to take a bong rip and my hair got in the way and immediately lit on fire."
"I fell out of my chair smacking my head to try and put the fire out. I could hear my hair burning and it started burning my head and my face."
"I finally put the fire out and was just laying on the floor in my room with smoke coming off of my head. The smell of my burning hair was so disgusting."
"But the worst part...I dropped the bong and my entire bowl went all over the carpet. I cried. 😭😌"-_gloomysunday_
Senses, as the most powerful tools people have, really play a part in shaping a person's experience of the world.
Why Did People Have Carpets
"The 3rd floor of my school. I had really bad anxiety and the school didn’t have proper ventilation. Like the windows were sealed shut and it was horrible during the pandemic."
"The smell mostly came from the carpet because of how old it is. It hit you when you entered that floor and my stomach would start gurgling from the anxiety."
"Strawberry kiwi kool aid tastes like how the carpet smells."-waitwhat2604
The WORST Possible Smell In The 21st Century
"Near where I live, there's a decent amount of sewerage, garbage, algae, etc, around natural water spots and mud, that you never want to go into if you can help it."
"Especially never ingest it or let it touch an open cut or wound. You can for the most part avoid the awful smell and sight, as most of these areas are hidden and not easily gotten to."
"One summer, a few years back, I didn't have much to do, so I would just walk around looking for these places(There's this pond that at I found that was covered in some pink kind of algae)."
"So because I was around these kinds of places on a consistent basis, I of course got my foot in some undesired places."
"The muddy and wet shoes would carry the smell of the place, and I don't think everyone will get the way I'm about to describe it, but it's the most accurate way I can."
"It smelled like some one cooked tortellini, pooped on it, and left it out in the sun for a year."-Jyona-San
Mmm...Rotting Produce
"Rotting potatoes and liquified bell peppers that had been donated i encountered while I did an internship-esque thing at a food bank sorting the donated food."
"Also while working at a landscaping company this older guy asked us to clean up this sorta enclosed outdoor space that he had used as his dogs toilet for months while he was recovering from some kind of accident."
"It was in the middle of summer pushing 40°c for weeks, the space was fully sealed so no way for anything to be washed into the ground, the dog had clearly been suffering from diareha for a while and on that day we had some warm summer rain."
"With all that said rotting potatoes and bell peppers are still 1#."-Karlmarx95
Miss you...
"My grandmother passed away 20 years ago. I still know what her home smelled like." ~ Down_Low_Too_Slow
mammals...
"Pig slaughterhouse. Still love me some bacon though." ~ Meat-walker
"It’s livestock, so a bit like a barn, but like industrial grade levels of unmaintained filth caused by the literal pools of shit filled pig urine that sloshes out of every truck that drives through. Then there’s this smell of rancid rotting bile under it. It’s mild, but very obvious." ~ CounterSanity
The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Before we all had caller ID, wrong numbers phone calls were commonplace. But now that almost everyone screens their calls, it's wrong number texts that have ...HER
"The perfume that this one girlfriend wore, way back in high school." ~ bigredcar
"Oh man do I feel this. The perfume thing is so visual, I can still see her eyes, smile, hair, and clothing style. Kathy B. was her name. I asked her what it was once, and she told me, but I totally forgot. It was many years ago." ~ chriscaulder
The Burn
"Burning plastic in barrels at an industrial park in Istanbul. You knew it was shortening your life with every breathe and you couldn’t escape it." ~ real_schematix
Parchment
"Paper mill." ~ Positive-Source8205
"Yes! There’s none near me where I live, but I can still remember the smell from only driving past them one time! One was in Maine and one was In Oregon." ~ furnacemike
Spam...
"When I was in high school I got to go to the National FFA convention in Indianapolis and they had all these booths set up. One of the booths was for Spam. It's not a horrific odor, but it is one that I wish I had never smelled." ~ happyhumorist
Garlic Bad
"My cattle dog tangled with a skunk and got sprayed and made it into the house before I could stop her. Omg that sulfur garlic rank smell... so bad. I managed at least then to grab her by the collar and chuck her back outside to clean her off." ~ MadCraftyFox
Expressed...
"Bad smell- one night my dog expressed her anal glands on my bed while i was sleeping. It took forever to get the smell out of my mattress. It was horrific. Good smell- my grandmother's cooking." ~ amahler03
"popper"
"She parked on a north facing hillside dirt road in the middle of the Southern California desert in the summer, rolled up the car windows and locked the doors, and ingested about 100 assorted pills, We found her a week later (we call her a 'popper.' because the body is so bloated that they typically will 'pop'). That was in 1979, and I still remember the smell. 😢." ~ Maxsdad53
The End
"The smell of death. when my aunt was dying in the hospital that was all i could smell in her room. When my grandpa was dying in hospice that’s all i could smell. The smell stayed in my nose for days, and I’m still catching whiffs sometimes weeks later." ~ Life_Calligrapher779
Chocolate & Wax
"A college near me that my grandma used to work at when i was very little, we would visit everyday to bring her lunch and i remember the weird, almost chocolate smelling floor wax smell. they renovated the building and the smell is gone, but i still get scents of it when i walk in there now as an adult." ~ rainruins
Choking...
"Fumes of gas from a mixture of oxalic acid and chlorine. These chemicals must not be mixed, as it creates a toxic gas that will cause death. I accidentally mixed small portions of it when i was doing laundry. Both are effective at removing stains. It smells minty at first, but when inhaled it feels like it choked you to death, as if you cannot breathe oxygen. It nearly caused me to death, and i coughed many times in order to breathe." ~ alistairjumanji
Smells can create both positive and negative memories, just as sounds, taste, touch and sight can.
But since smell is so directly linked to our digestive system and our in-the-moment stability, those smells that aren't as pleasant can really leave quite an impression.
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Bodies are beautiful. All bodies, of all shapes, sizes and looks are being more embraced by the world at large now. And what people are loving more and more are what makes our look and bodies unique. What could be more unique than a scar? For better or worse scars mark certain moments of our lives. They remind us of where we've been and where we may never want to go again.
Eight times out of ten, scars come with a great story, because normally we were idiots when we acquire them. But don't rush to cover them up, they can be part of your beautiful.
Redditoru/teatimefancycakeswanted to hear about the ways we've marked up and blemished the temple that is our bodies, by asking:
What is the stupidest reason you have a scar?
I have a scar above my lip. It's a straight line to my nose. I got very lucky because it runs along the lip line I was born with so you can't really see it. But I know it's there. How did I get it? Read on...
Sliced
music video loop GIFGiphy"I cut myself on a butchers blade, then wiped the blade on my pants, cutting my leg."
Blades
"When I was 6 I thought it would be a good idea to punch a hole in a piece of paper with a pair of scissors while my other hand was holding the paper directly on the other side."
- TK82
"Done a similar thing, stabbed an empty water bottle to test the sharpness of the knife and underestimated the knife. At least I found out how sharp the knife is."
The Mark
"Kid me was pretending to be a cat running on all fours, I rammed my head into the dishwasher. Forehead scar."
"Similar story. I shut my eyes thinking I was invincible when I did that. As a precautionary measure, put pillows on floor in case I fall down. Slipped on the pillow banged my head on the door knob. Harry potter scar but the alphabet O."
- neekyboi
Swingin'
"One time as a kid I tied a toy triceratops to a string and I was swinging it around above my head. Somebody came into the room and distracted me and that thing flew head first into the side of my head. It was under my hair but if I go bald I might have a weird three pronged scar."
"I took a cupboard door clean off its hinges while running on all fours chasing my dog. My pride hurt more than my face."
Getting Crooked
Jimmy Fallon Pain GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"I sat on my hair straightener 😐."
- cohmfies
"I also have one of these on my leg from kneeling on straighteners. Sitting on them though, ouch!"
- weestace
I decided I could fly. I was eight. It was a dark, rainy New York afternoon. I was in my mother's room. I jumped up on her bed using a long, satin sheet as my cape...
Cut Off
Ninja Lol GIF by Justin GammonGiphy"I nearly took off my ring finger when I used a stiletto to remove a bandage from my hand. Had to put it right back on. lol"
Don't buy cheap...
"Does anyone remember those bracelets that you slapped on your arm and it coiled on your wrist? And remember how some schools banned them because "tHeY aRe DaNGeRoUs, kIdS WiLl gEt HuRt"? And how most people thought it was an exaggeration and no one was stupid enough to get hurt with them? Well I'm one of those stupid kids. I have a long scar through my inner forearm that looks just like if I tried to commit suicide, all thanks to that cheap bracelet."
the scar to prove it...
"My mom dropped me on my head as a baby. Well less dropped and more slipped on ice where I went flying and landed on a gravel driveway, splitting my few months old head wide open. While it's faded over the years, I've had a large scar at the center of my forehead essentially my whole life. Oh and it's kinda in the shape of a lightning bolt so I'll give you one guess as to how my childhood changed after the first Harry Potter book."
"Other downsides include my Mom's persistent guilt that I wish I could take away, and that one time I had a CT scan and they saw what looked like a mass and I essentially counted the minutes until my next appointment a day later, thinking I was dying. Turns out I have a scar on my brain too. But on the upside it makes for a great conversation ice breaker and when people ask if I was dropped on my head as child, I can proudly proclaim "Yes, and I have the scar to prove it!"
On Break
"Was playing handball with a bunch of my friends at school one day during lunch break, when somebody knocked the ball far away and it began rolling downhill. The layout of that area of the school was such that if something started rolling downhill, it was possible for it to go a loooooong way down several sets of stairs and walkways before it stopped, so ideally you'd want to stop it as early as possible."
"I began to run after the ball hoping to catch it before it rolled too far, but as I was running, I got a bit off-balance and began to lean forward. So to compensate, I tried running faster and faster to counteract this. Unfortunately it reached the point of no return where I was at a full sprint and was still in the process of falling further forward, so I pretty much had to just accept my fate by this point - I fell over and hit the concrete at pretty much a full sprint. Lost quite a bit of skin from my elbow, and there's still a small bit of scarring there about 15 years later."
Smored
Camp Fire Smores GIF by Sherilyn CarterGiphy"Not me but my brother. Managed to get a scar by accidentally hitting a s'more on his cheek when trying to eat it."
It's all dumb to me!
"I was sitting with my legs crossed with my knee under the frame of a very old, wooden waterbed. I lifted my knee and a screw pierced the skin and ripped open a gash three inches long. I sneezed while shaving. I scratched my chicken pox. A metal door closed on the back of my heel slicing off a quarter inch of flesh. I'm clumsy, I don't know which one ranks higher, but they're all pretty dumb."
I flung myself onto the bed thinking I could be airborne, and for a moment I was. I landed on the corner of a small portable radio my mom loved. (Very eighties) And now because I wanted to be the wind, I'm blemished for life. Oh well.
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