Non-Sexual Things Married People Look Foward To Doing When Their Partner's Away
Reddit user shaka_sulu asked: 'Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?'
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.
In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:
"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"
Some people are happy to take up extra space.
Spacious Parking
"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."
– starkpaella
"Genius answer. It always brings joy."
– Heynicejobtoday
Hush
"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."
– 2workigo
"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."
– jaybeeg
Bed Positions
"Sleeping on the diagonal."
– snogweasel
"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."
– downvotingprofile
Quiet Viewing
"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."
– PheonixKernow
These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.
Taste In The Finer Things
"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."
"It’s the little things. 😂"
– aizzo4
All Mine
"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."
– missag_2490
Cheers
"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."
– Tom__mm
"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."
– JLHuston
Screen Time
"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."
– sexrockandroll
"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."
"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."
"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."
– Big-Mine9790
To each his/her/their own.
The Organizer
"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."
– Dependent_Top_4425
"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"
"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."
– Individual-Army811
Everything But The Kitchen Sink
"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."
– holographoc
Establishing Order
"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."
"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."
– Lyeta1_1
When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.
He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.
Which is all well and good.
But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.
People Reveal The Most Absurd Reason They've Seen A Marriage Called Off
Reddit user AnuragSlNGH asked: 'What's the most absurd reason you've heard of someone cancelling their marriage?'
My aunt and her ex-fiance were often hailed as the gold standard by my family when it came to romantic relationships. They were perfect for one another and had the healthiest relationship most of us had ever seen. My cousins and I all hoped to emulate their relationship someday.
Then, the marriage we'd all been looking forward to was called off.
Why? My aunt liked to hang toilet paper "over" (which is the right way), and her ex-fiance liked to hang toilet paper "under." When her ex-fiance replaced the toilet paper, my aunt would be annoyed that the toilet paper was hung under, and would complain, but that's where it ended.
When my aunt replaced the toilet paper, her ex-fiance would go so far as to change the position of the toilet paper every time he used their bathroom, and she couldn't take it anymore.
My cousins were so confused. That seemed like a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding. Being a few years older than most of them, I knew realistically, their issues were less about toilet paper and more about the fact my aunt's ex wasn't willing to compromise. However, the party line was that the wedding was called off because of the toilet paper, and to this day, we still tease my aunt about it (who, by the way, found another man, and has been happily married to him for 12 years).
Redditors know people who have called off their own weddings for absurd reasons and are eager to share the stories.
It all started when Redditor AnuragSlNGH asked:
"What's the most absurd reason you've heard of someone cancelling their marriage?"
Prophecy
"One of my friends was engaged and is Catholic. Her husband had to convert and he had a dream where he was in a Catholic Church but not getting married, he was a priest. So he had a vision of becoming a priest and now the wedding is off."
– Southern-Pay9792
All About The Money
"I was going to be a guest at a wedding and found out it was canceled 2 weeks before the date. The bride found out that the groom had gotten a significant discount on the price of the venue and she was insanely angry that anything at her wedding cost less than premium."
"Keep in mind, this was her dream venue that she had chosen. She was just mad that her fiancé was “cheap”. Or something."
"I was never super close to either of them, but the last I heard they never ended up getting married."
– NotSureWhatThePlanIs
"Guy dodged a bullet there."
– thefman
"No doubt, my wife and I high-fived when we got a discount on our venue."
– Old_Employer2183
What's In A Name?
"My cousin called it off 3 days in advance because the bride and groom couldn't agree on whether to hyphenate their last names, or use his."
"In retrospect, there was a significant class/ culture divide of which that was merely one symptom."
– thefuzzybunny1
"I used to work with a guy whose last name was West. When he married a woman with the last name Wild, she said she was happy to take his name. He told her that she was insane, and they were not under any circumstances passing up the opportunity to be the Wild West family."
– transluscent_emu
Ban 4
"They realized after everything was already planned, invites sent out etc. that they didn't like the date. They moved it to 2025 so there wouldn't be a 4 in their wedding date."
– MarkmcZack
"Their kids are just gonna jump straight from 3 to 5."
– TripodTheSuperCat
Yikes!
"Bride cancelled the wedding a week before because she was a hardcore disney adult and she was offered a temp job at disney and felt she "couldnt miss the opportunity of her dreams.""
"We live quite a few states away from disney and she said she couldnt do the long distance. Really she just wanted to party like a frat bro in Florida without any repercussions."
"She made a "songs to have sex to" playlist on their shared spotify a few days after they broke up. It absolutely crushed him."
"Oh man, what a sh*tty chick."
"Sounds like he dodged a bullet in the long run, but that must have hurt a ton at the time."
– Sunshine030209
Where's The Ring?
"My friend's former fiancé was a nice dude. Firefighter, easy to talk to, treated her well and got her a nice ring. Every now and then the ring would go missing but he would eventually find it, safe and sound."
"She had a good job, too, and was giving him thousands of dollars a month to fix up a house they had bought to live in after they'd gotten married."
"Turns out, dude was living two lives or attempting to at the very least: he's married for 10+ years and had two kids, the engagement ring was his wife's and he stole it back every now and then to "find" it for her. There was never a house, he never bought one, and used all the thousands he had been given solely on cocaine."
"Needless to say, they cancelled the wedding."
– Zenthoor
Last Minute Non-Planning
"They did nothing."
"They picked a date, sent mails with it to invite people. And then did nothing until a week before said date."
"Of course they could not rent the venue they wanted nor find another one. They couldn't find caterer, dresses etc on time."
"But also, legally, they couldn't get married in such short notice."
"So, they cancelled the wedding, and will get married later."
"It's been 5 years. They're still not married."
– Marawal
"kinda sounds like they're made for each other, lol."
– alohamoraFTW
Worst Prank Ever
"The best man said in his speech that he slept with the bride about 2 weeks before the wedding. All hell broke loose. The groom demanded that the marriage be cancelled. It took a few days to get the truth out & for the groom to finally listen. The best man thought it be a great prank. The groom was apologetic to the bride, but she didn’t forgive him. Because he believed in others’ lies & won’t let her talk."
"He is a big AH. While hunting for the truth, found out best man has a history of sleeping with groom’s past GFs & crushes. Still trying to figure out why groom stayed friends with this AH. Awhile ago, bride found out groom is still friends with AH."
– RottweilerBridesmaid
What God Says Goes
"My uncle and ex aunt called off the wedding because “God told them to wait” a month before the wedding. They lived across the country so my parents had to fly with three children under 10 years old and the tickets were non-refundable. My uncle called my dad with the new date, about 6 months after the original date."
"My mom called him later and when he asked if we would be coming to the wedding she said that she spoke to god and he told her to bring her kids to Disney instead. My parents still joke about it today and my uncle divorced that wife a year or two later. Happy ending though, he married his best friend about a decade later and they are truly perfect for eachother. She really is a wonderful woman and we couldn’t be happier for them."
– Big_Meesh_
I Wouldn't Give Money Either
"They didn't have enough donations from friends and family."
"They set a date, and when they sent out the invitations, they included a line stating invitations returned without the required minimum would not get seated in the hall, another not allowed into the wedding. The bride and groom would make an appearance outside in the parking lot so they could have a chance to congratulate them, though."
"They received... $0.00!"
"Why? Their minimum was $100. $250 if you wanted food. $500 included "cake service." For alcohol $50 got you 6 drink tickets, and I think the cheapest drink was 2 tickets, and some were 10."
– Demorant
The Future's In The Food
"My Italian uncle canceled his wedding because the bride's family (not Italian) would not serve lasagna at the wedding reception."
"He ended up marrying an Irish woman whose family was okay with serving lasagna at the reception."
– rockyroadicecreamlov
"This actually seems reasonable to me. It doesn't have to be about lasagna but about communication, compromise, and treating the groom as an equal partner. It's indicative of what the entire relationship might be like."
– metmerc
Yup, sounds about right.
Many couples like to spice things up in their relationships to keep things fresh.
When it comes to bedroom spices, couples tend to add ingredients, like another person to the mix.
But everyone really needs to be on the same page with who they're mixing with.
Or drama can ensue.
Redditor MrRandyWatson_100 wanted to hear about what happened to relationships after inviting a third, so they asked:
"Redditors who have had a threesome with their SO, how did the relationship turnout after sex?"
Bad Things
Tim Robinson No GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy"It was already horrible, that's why I didn't mind trying it. It didn't get any better, but it was a lot of fun."
Educational_Dust_932
Thanks, Jerry
"Went on a vacation with my ex and her best friend from out of state. It was heavily alluded to that we were going to give a threesome a go. We all arrive at the hotel, and her friend turns on the TV while we unpack. It was by chance an episode of Jerry Springer (or some equivalent type of show). The subject was 'Our threesome ruined my life.' Obviously, it didn’t happen."
sincethenes
"Wanna hear a pile on to that? We broke up a few years later, I haven’t seen or heard from her in years. I bought a new home two years ago in the middle of nowhere. I go to the local grocery store, and there she is. Turns out she lives about 1/4 of a mile away from me. Thanks, Universe."
sincethenes
Then Again...
"We all went out to eat breakfast the next day and it was just such a funny experience. We laughed and talked about how crazy it was. Afterward, my girlfriend was embarrassed and said she didn't want anything like that ever again. Then it happened again (at her own insistence, with the same girl)."
"Then again. After the 3rd time, I was pretty blown away that this would be a regular thing. After a while things stopped and my girlfriend went back to being super embarrassed about it and liked to pretend it never happened."
Kogah
Well bye now...
"The sex was fine, we invited a third for a fun night at a hotel with a jacuzzi and drinks. But then the third person didn't leave, nor did they leave in the morning after breakfast, and the next night after dinner we literally had to ask him to leave so we could continue our vacation as a couple in privacy. It gave us a funny story to joke about for years and didn't affect our relationship."
Mister_IceBlister
Realizations
Shocked Sesame Street GIFGiphy"Haven’t been in a threesome, but my gf had two on the same day with her previous partner, which is when she realized she was actually into girls more."
"So in a way, I can thank those threesomes for my relationship. She doesn’t like it when I bring this up lol."
DreaDreamer
Epiphanies can come at the strangest times.
Whoops
Schitts Creek Oops GIF by CBCGiphy"My girlfriend asked me who I would like a threesome with. Then she got angry. Apparently, I was supposed to name only one person."
arvigeus
Long Stories
"I (M) hooked up with a friend and his wife a few times. He originally proposed it as something she would enjoy, with both of us focusing our attention on her. She reluctantly went along with it but quickly got way too into it for his comfort. He got jealous of all the attention she was getting despite that being the point of the threesomes in the first place."
"Long story short, after many long fruitless discussions and a few arguments we finally got him to admit that he was in love with me, he wanted the threesome so that we (he and I) could have sex (despite us having had many conversations in the past about how I'm not that into men and he's definitely not my type) without cheating or him getting a divorce."
"Longer story even shorter, we're no longer friends, they're divorced, wife and I became really close friends for a few years."
tempUN123
Happy Holidays
"Relationship with who, your SO or the third person involved?"
"My SO brought her very close female friend for a threesome as a Christmas present to me one year. I was really nervous but they made me feel super comfortable and able to just enjoy the experience. I'm still with my SO and the friend is still a friend, we don't see her very much as she lives in a different country but it's in no way awkward."
AverageMale31
Surprise
"I had a threesome with one of my close friends and her boyfriend of like 5 years (at the time). She wanted to surprise him and boy did it work. It was fun! We ended up doing it a few more times. They’re still together and doing well and my friendship with them has never changed. The only difference is now we have inside jokes and references together!"
wineshivers
Be Careful
Bedtime Threesome GIF by PantayaGiphy"Just fine... But don't play with others if your relationship isn't on solid footing and your communication isn't up to par."
Misophonic4000
"In my experience, sometimes you think you’re on solid footing, but in reality, it’s a house of cards easily toppled. In retrospect, it was f**ked either way, but this definitely expedited the end."
AdmiralTiberius
Not all fun ideas are good ideas.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
There are a lot of sayings about human nature that address bad behavior in a relationship.
One such idiom is "a leopard can't change its spots." Another is "once a cheater, always a cheater."
But is that really accurate?
Can a significant other cheat just once and never again? And even if they can, is the relationship ever truly healed?
Reddit user Menezeris3029 asked:
"People who have stayed in a relationship after their partner cheated. How was it like after?"
Projecting And Gaslighting
"It was super short-lived because of the hardcore projecting."
"Because she cheated, she assumed that I was going to cheat with all my women friends. She became super controlling and didn't want me to have any women friends."
"I ended up leaving because my friendships were more important than a broken relationship."
~ Ookimow
"It's in fact so common that people who baselessly accuse others of cheating are almost always cheating and projecting it on their partner."
"Every time I had been cheated on, this is the trigger that made me realize it was going on in the first place and was easily able to find proof."
"They out themselves."
~ PsionicKitten
"My ex husband tried to get me to go to therapy. And don’t get me wrong, I needed it and should have gone, to get the self-worth to leave his a**."
"But my point was, if you won’t stop cheating on me why waste money on therapy lmao‽‽ It’s like sitting in the ER while someone is stabbing you in the back."
"He swore on everything we had he wasn’t cheating on me again."
"Yeah…..he was the whole time."
~ WillBsGirl
Regrets, I Have A Few
"I really truly believed I would rise from it and forgive him, get over it, and come out of it stronger."
"It was never the same. I lost that trust and I couldn’t get it back. And eventually, I stopped caring to want it back."
"It was a 7 year relationship & although I don’t regret it, I sometimes wish I knew to walk out sooner."
"But it made me realize what I really deserve and it led me to the forever man in my life who treats me so well and loves me and honours our commitment."
~ backandforthlosing
"This got me in my soul!"
"My soon to be ex is not violent, he's grown into a lovely man, just not the one for me after what happened."
"I've just cracked my early 30s so I'm calling this my quarter life crisis and moving on...a lot of those things you have said resonated so much!"
~ Puzzleheaded-Ad-9724
"Reasons for not leaving—Fear, isolation, guilt, not wanting to hurt the person you love most in the world, even though they hurt you. Not wanting to lose them."
"It’s hard to let them go, because you have to let go of a part of yourself too and the life you thought you were building together. It is so hard to accept that it was all just an illusion."
"After some time passes, you try to put what happened at the back of your mind as a survival mechanism, and then your partner assumes that you have forgiven them because you no longer appear to be preoccupied with it."
"Sex also complicates things because some cheaters think that resuming sex equals their partner has moved on and are not upset any longer."
"You keep quiet and bottle up emotions to keep the peace, but at a severe detriment to your mental health and well being."
"This is where I am currently with my relationship. I am just trying to get through one day at a time until I gather enough strength to move forward."
"I too hope to wake up one day and say, 'FUK THIS!' I have known about the infidelity since 2021."
~ lunarmantra
Never The Same
"Happened in 2010, part of a mental breakdown on their side. Stood by and watched my world fall apart with a young child to look after."
"I believe in the vows I took when I got married, especially in sickness & in health. 13 years later, still married, perhaps stronger than ever but it still hurts."
"The pain numbs down over time from a glowing ball the size of the sun to a little pin prick of light but it still burns."
"I’m glad we stayed together, child is now a happy and rounded young lady—enjoying the world and her life ahead of her."
"We are now 26 years together so if any of you are reading this, good can come from bad, life does go on, listen to your heart but don’t ever get mugged off."
~ oldskoolplayaR1
"Caught her in an 'emotional' affair early on in our relationship."
"Both her and him told me it was a mistake and he apologized and told me it was over."
"I believed it all."
"However I will admit that it bubbled up during arguments over other issues because of how betrayed I felt."
"It weighed on me to the point where she told me I needed to see a therapist to get over it. I went to 3 of them over a period of the next 4 years."
"We went as a couple maybe a year after that."
"Flash forward another 2 years…I found the texts and pics."
"It never ended and it only grew. The entire time she told me to get counseling. The entire time we were in counseling together."
"The entire time I worked 2 jobs and 7 days a week because she lost her job and took a year off and I picked up the slack."
"You do not recover."
~ justaguylookinghappy
Tick, Tick, Tick...
"A ticking time bomb."
~ Ratakoa
"Yep. We spent a year trying to recover, then had 2 good years..."
"Then he cheated again... I think in the back of my mind I was just waiting the whole time for it to happen again."
~ naturally_eva
"This! Every single day, this is what's in the back of my mind and yup, waiting for it to happen again and hoping, at the same time, that it won't."
~ ahuh_itzme
"Ex wife was the same. We tried again, but she just had to get back in contact with him… lasted ten months, but only eight before she’d started seeing him again."
"It was a 12 year relationship for us, with most of that married. I don’t think she actually stopped seeing him really, looking back."
"When I started seeing a new girl, my ex wife tried to seduce me! Erm, no."
~ CabinetOk4838
"Shoot, mine never even stopped seeing the other guy. She swore up and down she wanted to stay together and it was all a mistake—so I laid out some very simple rules for moving forward, starting with no more contact with the guy."
"She never stopped."
"To this day I dont know what she was thinking. She just kept on trying to see us both. This was a 10 year marriage with kids, too."
"About a year into the divorce, she straight up moved 500 miles away (by herself), became a drug addict, and her entire life fell apart. Got arrested for felony drug possession etc..."
"Most bizarre complete self destruction I've ever seen in real life."
~ alonjar
If They'll Cheat With You...
"One of my buddies dated a girl once that cheated to be with him. Then after awhile she cheated on him too."
"He was so shocked."
"But I was like, bro, she cheated on someone to get with you. Her cheating on you to get with someone else shouldn’t be a surprise."
~ travworld
The Other Side
"That's not always true. I cheated once. It destroyed the person I love, and it sent me into a 2 year spiral of depression and anxiety that I had to be hospitalized for twice."
"I'll NEVER, EVER make that mistake again. People can learn from their past mistakes."
"That being said, 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is true more often than it isn't - and that's quite sad."
"I just won't be one ever again. Absolutely not worth ANY of it."
~ reflUX_cAtalyst
The decision to stay with someone who has broken your trust is an individual one.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are many happy endings for couples after one partner cheats.
In 2022, a reported 2,132,853 couples in the United States vowed to remain together until death.
But as of that same year, 41% of first marriages were ending in divorce.
And if a person walked down the aisle again?
Well, 60% of second marriages ended in divorce and a whopping 73% of third marriages didn't last.
The five leading factors cited in divorces in 2022 were:
- lack of commitment - 75%
- infidelity - 59.6%
- too much conflict - 57.5%
- married too young - 45.1%
- money problems - 36.1%
So how do couples get from "happily ever after" to "get thee from my sight"? And when did they know it was time to call it quits?
Reddit user Zealousideal-Ad3609 asked:
"Divorcees of Reddit, when did you know your marriage was over?"
Like a True Crime Plot
"When I found the text messages of him telling her he loved her and joking about my life insurance money."
~ girlinthewhirled
"I've watched too many true crime shows."
"I told my husband that I'm not getting a life insurance policy on my a** for a long time cause I don't want to have to side eye him every day."
~ The_Artsy_Peach
Winners Never Cheat And...
"He told me he'd had an affair."
"Initially he begged me to stay together, to work things out, but within two weeks he had cold feet again and had even met up with his affair partner so... Yeah."
"At one point, my ex-husband had told me he wanted a divorce. I didn't see him for like 2 weeks but then met up with him to sign unrelated paperwork."
"I noticed he had a tan and asked him if he'd been having a fun time, but he said no that he'd been miserable and that he must've gotten too much sun hanging out with some friends in their garden. Later that morning he told me he wanted to work things out and not get divorced etc..."
"I found out much later the reason he was tanned was because after he told me he wanted a divorce, he'd chased his affair partner to Crete and been on holidays with her, going snorkeling etc... and sending photos of his holiday back to his parents."
"Meanwhile I'd asked my mum to visit me because I was mourning my relationship and thinking I was getting divorced. We did eventually, but months later after he finally told me about his affair."
"Cheaters gonna lie and manipulate."
~ Kowai03
...Cheaters Never Win
"My ex was having an affair and I didn't know it yet. One night we got into a big argument and raised the issue of divorce for the first time. We talked for hours before going to bed."
"The next day he and the kids went out of town for the weekend (the fight was over the fact that he had scheduled a weekend vacation without consulting me and I couldn't go because of work). Three days later he was home and we sat down and he cried begged me to stay, saying he didn't want to raise our kids without me and he loved me."
"I found out later that he had met with his affair partner and her kids at the beach and they all had a nice little weekend vacation together. He swore our kids (5 and 9 years old at the time) to secrecy."
"Of everything he did, that's what made me the most angry."
"We're now divorced and co-parenting, he's in a toxic on-again off-again relationship with his affair partner, and he's told me multiple times that he regrets everything."
"Meanwhile I'm enjoying living on my own and hanging with my friends, my kids, and my dog."
~ ApparitionofAmbition
"When I learned my wife was sleeping with my brother."
"Took him in so he wouldn't be homeless (booze) and when he got a job as a systems administrator at 125K she suddenly decided she wanted to be with him rather than lowly me."
"It's okay."
"I ended up meeting the love of my life and we've been together for 18 years now."
"She ended up dumping my brother after she finished her Masters degree."
"They are both alone and (I hope) unhappy."
~ AugieGreenfield
Unrequited Commitment
"I gave up and faced reality when we had our one couple's counseling appointment."
"Therapist asked on a scale of 1 to 10 how much we wanted to save the marriage. I said 10 and he said 0."
"But it turns out I didn’t want to save it either because I realized he didn’t like me all that much, and that’s not a healthy life."
~ MrsUnrulyFarms
"This sounds oddly similar to our marriage therapy session where she asked that same question and he looked bored and then halfway through got up and left."
"She told me, 'I can certainly help you try to save your marriage here, but I can’t do much when he clearly already has one foot out the door'.”
"I started seeing her on my own to help process what was likely the end and it was."
"But it has been over eight years and it was for the best."
~ boygirlmama
Fight, Fight, Fight
"Most conversations turned into an argument."
"Then they became more distant."
"Resentment had well and truly set in."
~ DavosLostFingers
Say One Thing, Then...
"When we sat down as a couple and agreed we could not afford a new car then two days later he bought the new car he agreed we couldn’t afford."
"I came home from work that night ready to argue with him and suddenly realized he knew I would get angry and that was the price he was willing to pay to have the car."
"It took a few months to get the money to move out but my marriage was over that night."
~ LifeHappenzEvryMomnt
"I was engaged to a man like that. We had decided one thing for our future, so I had gotten a job in the area we were going to move to so I would graduate and go right there, with a job."
"Then he did something completely different and when I asked what I was supposed to do, he told me I’d figure it out."
"I waited for him to get to where he was going, which was thousands of miles away, then sent the ring to his mother, certified and insured, and never talked to him again."
"I figured it out all right. Grateful to have been given clear warning and the space to wash that man right out of my hair."
~ sukiskis
Loneliness
"One time I was driving in my car and talking to myself (which I did all the time because I had no one else to talk to). I glanced to my right and my (ex) husband was sitting in the passenger seat."
"He left me alone so much (busy gambling and when he was home, he was glued to his phone/computer) that I was so used to being by myself and ignored so completely that I forgot he was in the car."
"Anyways, I was sort of embarrassed he heard me talking to myself so I said 'oh sorry, I forgot you were here'.”
"He didn’t even reply… so I said his name and he eventually looked up from his phone and said 'did you say something?'."
"I realized how much of my life I was going through completely alone (except for my dog). More things led to the divorce but I realized how being lonely was different than being alone and how much better life got."
~ river_of_coffee
"Mine was along these lines too. There was actually much more, but this one conversation was really the final nail in the coffin/veil finally dropped completely, so to speak."
"I had gone back to school and wasn't doing well in a STEM class, and it was really making me reconsider my path. I wasn't sure what to do."
"We were in bed for the evening and I tried to talk to him about it and my plans to speak with my advisor to potentially switch majors. He was just glued to his phone and I barely got a grunt in response."
"I just couldn't help but think how much it sucked—this was my partner for life? That was the level of support I could expect, especially when I was considering something that would ultimately change the entire course of my life/career?"
"It was awful."
"He also barely said more than 'good job' when I got accepted into a great school. He tried to convince me to go to a much smaller, unknown school instead even though it had literally no impact on him either way."
"Later told me he was jealous and couldn't handle the progress I was making."
~ LoveisaNewfie
In Sickness and—Well...
"After suffering from serious bouts with Crohn's disease for a couple years, in the worst part an episode that lasted 3 months where I dropped from 190 lbs down to 137lbs (I am 6 feet 4 inches tall, and normal weight is about 220lbs)."
"I overheard my (now ex) wife in another room telling her friend that 'she didn't sign up for this' and had no intent of helping me any longer. If I didn't die soon, she'd have to divorce me."
"She'd yell at me for being too loud in the bathroom and waking her up during the night, and repeatedly for being 'lazy' even though I was able to keep my job (she didn't work) through it all and support her and our children."
"Since the divorce, I've had 0 Crohn's flare ups, got back to my normal weight plus a little extra, eat and drink anything I choose, and take 0 medication. It's been over 13 years now, and no relapse."
~ JeegReddit44
"I was suffering these recurring bouts of abdominal pain and in and out of the hospital for about two years, including having an appendectomy."
"I was finally diagnosed with Crohn’s and started testing for the meds they wanted to put me on and found out I had latent TB, which required it’s own lengthy treatment."
"I was weak and miserable and lost my job."
"One evening some friends from out of town wanted to get together but just as we arrived at the meeting place, the pain started and I could feel myself struggling to focus, ears ringing, I felt faint."
"I told my then husband what was happening and I asked him to help me find a place to sit down and he just stared at me oddly. I reached for him saying something like ‘please hold me I think I’m going to faint’ and he stepped back to let me collapse on the sidewalk."
"I was so embarrassed, and so devastated. I wouldn’t do that to a stranger, let alone my partner."
"That was it for me."
~ scrapsoup
When Someone Shows You Who They Are...
"We had problems before this night, but I kept trying counseling and other things hoping it would work out."
"But our youngest was little, maybe not even 2 yet? She had a history of seizures, so we were 'used' to them, but it was still scary."
"It’s the middle of the night and I’m walking back and forth in the living room with her because she had a really high temp, it was 104-something. I was trying to figure out if I wanted to take her to the ER or not as I remember her being really lethargic as well."
"My ex (her dad) stood their screaming at me about what a wh*re I was, what a piece of sh*t I was, how I ruined his life, etc..."
"I remember asking him something like 'what if your daughter came to you and said her partner was talking to her like this, what would you do?'."
"He looked at me and said something like 'well if she deserves it' and shrugged his shoulders."
"I don’t even remember what set him off that night, what I 'did' to upset him. I just remember holding our youngest and over his shoulder I saw my daughter (the oldest and from a previous relationship) sitting at the top of the stairs watching this."
"She was probably around 11….and I just decided I was done. I told myself I was going to make it through the holidays and her birthday."
"We had a good holiday and her birthday was the same sh*t, different day. The attention wasn’t focused on him, so he was a jerk."
"I KNEW I was making the right decision. I waited until the clock hit midnight and I said, 'I want a divorce' and never looked back."
~ JustCallInSick
Divorce rates in the United States have dropped every year since 1980.
The rate had spiked with the rise in feminism and LGBTQ+ equality in the 1970s.
Women were no longer forced to stay in toxic marriages. LGBTQ+ people were able to live more openly instead of conforming to a heterosexual marriage.
A contributing factor to the drop since is fewer people are getting married before they're ready. Gen X and Millennials are waiting longer before taking that step. Gen Z is on track to have one of the lowest marriage rates.
Gray divorces—those of people over 60—are the only divorce rates still on the rise. The cost of healthcare, longterm care and longer lifespans are all factors in gray divorces.