Nobody wants to die alone. That is one of life's more basic truths. We all hope there is going to be a familiar hand to hold and a pair of eyes that witnessed our lives looking into us as we drift off to meet our maker. That feels like the basics of marriage. Well that and a permanent booty call.
That's why a lot of people turn to a trusted friend to maybe one day be a love interest. It's always good to have a fail-safe and a back up. And the older you get the more the chase becomes too much run through, so why not make it easy? It's like... "hey so and so... you wanna get hitched by this date, in case?"
BAM! Instant I Do.
Redditor u/shansnewone wanted the betrothed out there to tell us about their relationship successes and fails, by asking:
Couples who got married on the basis: "if we're both not married by (x) years old, we'll marry each other" how did things work out?
I am out of options. Unless all of my prior fail safes current relationships don't pan out, I'm going to the grave alone. I'm too tired to look, or too lazy. Potato/potatoe... let's see who has better luck.
Decades Laterjust married love GIFGiphy
"Yep, worked out pretty well. We've known each other for close to 30 years now and jokingly said something similar years ago. Anyway, we got married almost 6 years ago and pretty happy with the situation."
"We were best friends for a long time in high school, I was really into her but the feeling wasn't mutual. I told her if we were single 5 years from now I could see us getting together and getting married. I moved across the country and we mostly lost touch for a couple years, but then almost exactly five years after I'd said that, we reconnected and I told here I was miserable where I was."
"She had just moved to a new city, I moved in with her, and we got together pretty quick. In two weeks, that'll have been six years ago. We just bought a house and our daughter's first birthday is next month. It was rocky at first, since we were both escaping miserable situations and living in a studio apartment, but everything worked out and I live with my best friend."
She said yes...
"Funny enough, there was a girl I liked in High School, but I was 17 and she was 15. She asked me out but I said no because I just got a girlfriend, but I was interested in her and I told her. She said if I'm single by the time I'm 25, can we get married? I was like yeah sure. I asked her when she was 25 if she was single. She said yes. Reminded her about our agreement and she said "I'm only really dating girls right now." So yeah."
Jumped the gun a little...
"I made this arrangement with my best friend from college. We spent so much time together, people thought we were dating and it led to some strife in many of my possible relationships because they saw her as a threat. But that wasn't the nature of our relationship. Strictly friends, I had interest in her one time but was quickly friendzoned and didn't try to make any advances. She never held interest in me."
"One night, close to the end of college, we went out and grabbed some beer at a local place and were transparent that we could see ourselves getting married to one another. We made an agreement that if, by the age of 30 pr 35 (I can't remember now), we were both single, we would get married. After college, we went our separate ways—I continued with school, she got a job."
"We talked inconsistently (maybe once every few months?) for about 2 years. I happened to be in her city one day in 2020 and we grabbed coffee. We talked a little more after that, then things REALLY picked up here in the last few months. We're engaged, getting married in March. Jumped the gun a little, but dammit this is the best decision and relationship I've ever been in."
In the End...This Is Absolutely Ridiculous Mandy Moore GIF by This Is UsGiphy
"Couple I knew both thought very highly of themselves and thought they could do better than the other person. They're now together and miserable."
Well those sound pleasant enough. Well, most of them do. But hey, when you gotta go with what's in front of you, you can't beg. Maybe others had it better.
Cheers to Us...Season 17 Cheers GIF by The BacheloretteGiphy
"Had an agreement. Both were married far before the date. Did however go out for drinks to celebrate the fact that we were both happily married!"
"I know a couple who were best friends but dating other people for about 15 years. No one was surprised when they finally started dating and got married, but they didn't have an agreement like you mention. They just finally got over the idea that love had to start with romance rather than friendship."
What happens... happens...
"My best friend dated this chick through high school. They broke up to go to separate colleges, dated other people obviously. Got back in town after graduating, got back together, got married. That was like 19 years and 3 kids ago. He was telling me they never would've lasted a year if they didn't separate for the 4 years of college."
This is a date?!
"My husband and I were friends. I said ,"if you don't have a date on Valentine's Day, why don't you come over and we can drink/ hang out." ( it was senior year of college… this was everyone's past time on non football days or club nights) Valentines came, and we both had nothing to do. He came over with beer AND yellow/red flowers."
"He offered to take me to dinner. I turned around and looked at my roommate like," huh?! Ooohhhhh... This is a date?!" I accepted the flowers and the 6 pack, got changed and 3 days later I just knew he was the one I wanted to annoy for a lifetime. We were swimming in the Jupiter inlet and I said "I think we should get married" he said "Yep. Sounds like a plan."
"That's all it took… friends + valentines + trajectory change = 2 kids, 2 careers, 6 moves, 1 serous illness. We survived together as a team, and It will be 25 years together in February. Man, I got it right and I couldn't even think of anyone better a fit for me. It's been AWESOME!!!"
Let's Party...Marriage Love GIFGiphy
"In my case i had good friend studying together abroad who had boyfriend."
"I told her to call me when she's free. Two years later she came to work to my city she was already free. She called me and we went to a party where after an hour or two we decided to be together and we are for 10 years."
I'm comforted by a lot of this. Maybe I'll meet some new back ups. And then love will overcome. Anybody free for a chat? ;)
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Nobody wants to die alone. Though we may not admit it, we've all thought about having a love story that lasts until the end of time. Sometimes many of us don't get that lucky. So we start to peruse our sea of possibilities in those nearest and dearest or those acquaintances that are a looker. Forging a pact so that you have guaranteed company later in life isn't a terrible idea.
Redditor u/devilsdickpic wanted to hear from all the marrieds out there who are willing to share about their love story by asking.... Who here has actually married their "Let's get married if we're still single by 40" person, and what's the story?
Life is weird.
Our agreement was if we were both single in 2000. I kinda had a crush on him anyway. He found a lovely girlfriend, they got married. I was invited to the wedding and was kinda heartbroken.
He had two kids with his wife. I later found my husband (and I wouldn't trade him for the world!). Now my pact-mate is divorced from wife and dating one of my best friends from our college friend group.
Life is weird. part_house_part_dog
I Like the Idea....
Not married, yet. I knew he had a crush on me for a while, but I wanted to be on my own for a few years. I didn't believe in love at the time and was against it due to childhood trauma.
Drunkenly told him one day that we should get married if we were still single by 35, and he said he was down. After a while, I realized that he was the one that was always there for me/did right by me/showed up/would leave food and giant bouquets of my favorite flowers on my doorstep/icky romantic stuff/etc. I could go on.
There was no doubt in my mind then that he would treat me right. One day, I decided to spend the night and I haven't slept a single night without him since (except for work trips).
I've become immune to his loud, incessant farting, we've gone full weird on each other, we finish each other's sentences, and we can't wait to pop some babies out. This man was not only friend-zoned, he was bro-zoned. Now, I want 10 of his babies and can't imagine my life without him. This thread helped remind me I could've missed out on something great like this had I not given it a chance. Vyxs
My senior year of high school I made a deal like that with a friend of mine. If we were single by 30 we would get married. Well we ended up getting married 3 years later. Schwabyboi
Made a deal with one of my long time friends that I dated in middle school. I moved, and we kept in touch periodically. While I was in college, we "renewed" the deal, but then I was in a long term relationship, and she eventually got into one as well. However, as mine ended, tragically, her BF of 3 years took his life. It really messed her up, as she was the one who found him afterwards.
Our friendship never really was the same, and she hasn't dated anyone since; only hookups but refuses to settle down or try dating again. Our "renewal" ended this past fall, and I tried seeing if she wanted to meet up since it had been over a decade since we last saw one another. But just seems we've drifted too far apart. Dezimieren
My aunt! She met a friend a long time ago at a festival and always said i'm never going to marry someone and he thought the same so they said if we ever meet again. Years later they both saw each other at the same festival again and now they're married for a little over a year :). anonymousdutchperson
My best friend in high school and I had this. Everyone thought we were joking (both girls) but I think we were pretty serious. We are still best friends and both in very fulfilling relationships with men who understand how close we are and honestly I'd love to live in a giant house with all 4 of us forever. Might not actually be married but it's pretty damn close. catdoc417
We dated in high school but kept in touch. But we lived in different states and she kept a lot of secrets about how bad things were going in her life. She passed away from drug abuse last year. I'm 37.
I don't know if I should feel like I dodged a bullet or feel like I failed her as a friend. JDK002
Marcus. I miss you.
My person ghosted me a few years ago (I just turned 36 today).
We were enemies in elementary school, frenemies in middle school, then friends who dated very briefly in high school. Continued to talk and catch up with one another in our twenties... then nothing. I can't even find him on social media anymore.
To disappear so completely after all of these years worries me: is he in jail? Dead? I'm not looking for him out of some fear that I did something wrong to offend him to make him want to cut me out of his life, I just miss our friendship... and if something has occurred (positive or negative) that motivated him to move on without me in his life, I would like to know. I still look around the internet for him very so often, Catfish-style, just in case I do ever find him again so I know that he's alright.
I hope you see this someday, Marcus. I miss you. stephlovaaaa
Woman I met in high school and dated off and on agreed to get married to each other if we were still single at 30 years old. When we were both 29 we got engaged to other people. We've always been friends and kept in touch so my fiancee and I went to her wedding and she went to mine. We'd run into each other from time-to-time and our kids attended the same school.
Fast forward 20 years and I run into her at a coffee shop. I ask her how her husband is doing and she said they've been separated for a while. She asks me how my wife is and I tell her we've been separated for a while. We are now dating and have been for close to a year. She's a wonderful person and we both feel very fortunate to be with each other. yert1099
This is kinda blowing my mind, because I didn't think this truly existed. I have a friend who says when we're 36, if we're not married, we will be... I used to have a crush on her when I was 16 (now 27) so we'll see!!! Hahaha, ill update in 10 years.
Edit: I have a girlfriend, but I'm shocked that this actually happens and plays out among other people. LordNesak
I did. But the age was 30. Friends through high school and went to college apart. Using IM one night (yes almost 20 years ago), we were chatting. She'd just had a bad break up and I was striking out. I said let's get married if we're single at thirty.
She posted on Facebook that she's single one week after her birthday. My birthday was a week later and I sent, "Gee, we're supposed to get married soon. We better go in a date." Married seven years and one kid so far. Kdj2j2
Fast forward 20 years....
I may be a little late to this party.... but, my wife and I went to high school together and never dated. We were movie buddies and I had a little crush on her, we did make out one time at a party. I was a year ahead of her, and right before I graduated we made a pact to marry each other if we were single in the distant future, can't remember what that date was, but... Fast forward 20 years.
We reconnected on social media and 2 years later we were married. About 5 years later we were going through some boxes and I found a "cheesecake" photo of her from 1987 with a note written on the back saying how she can't wait until our wedding day. We had both forgotten about the pact until we found the picture, Then about six months ago, my parents cleaned out their attic and gave me a box full of stuff they saved.
Inside was a note from my ex in high school and in the ramblings of teenage angst she mentioned that she had a vision of "my now wife" and I together. Odd for an ex to say but we had a good laugh about that. Tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. Thanks for letting us walk down memory lane for our anniversary. shadattack
Me! We agreed on 30 though. We had dated in high school and into college for 4 years. Life just kind of made us go separate ways (like, countries apart). Would occasionally keep in touch throughout our early 20s. Both of us went through multiple bad relationships and made a joke that if we were both single by 30, we would get married.
He came home for Easter one year and asked me to go on a date for old times sake. We made it about five minutes into the date before we remembered how much we were missing out on with each other and what we had had. Got married the following year!
Now we're 5 years in with a 3 y/o and sitting on the couch, each of us on Reddit, and debated who should post this story.
Edit: Thanks for quadrupling my karma, guys! 😁 mkgordo
Love to Her....
Opposite happened to me. Made a pact with a girl I had been friends with for several years. We were both awkward and I felt a good pair, of friends at the very least.
I brought it up, she agreed. Went out and found a husband about 6 months later. I was happy for her, but sad for me. After that she stopped taking to me and I haven't spoken to her in 20 years.
I hope she's still doing well. thewurstunicorn
My Grandma had jokingly said she'd ask some guy she knew to marry her the next leap year if they were all single. When it became apparent that he was expecting this to happen she asked my Grandpa to marry her instead. Sugarnspice44
Almost a Decade In....
I did! The age was 35 and we kept bumping down the age to 27. It took us a long time before we got the courage to tell each other that we wanted more than being friends. We were so afraid of the other one not feeling the same way, but life has worked out better than I imagined. We celebrate 9 years together next month. SendWine
Only for Love.Giphy
A friend made this proposition to me several years ago. I said, "No, even if I'm still alone I will only marry for love." About a decade later we got married. Things are good and we didn't even have to wait until we turned 40. shorthomology
across the country....
I had this agreement with a good friend who lived across the country (be each other's fall back plan when I turned 30). Whenever we were both single, we would be on the phone basically all day. However, when one or both of us was dating someone we would fall out of close contact. This went on for a few years.
After a bad breakup for me, he said that he was coming to my part of the country for Christmas to visit family and that maybe we should not date other people between now (September) and then. After that, there was no question of not being together even before he actually arrived at Christmas. That was almost 15 years ago. This year is our tenth wedding anniversary and we have two boys. sblade77
A ton of Caring....
I have family friends who did that. Two couples who knew each other since college and always stayed close, emotionally and geographically. They made a pact that they would always take care of each other. When one husband and the other's wife died within a year of each other in their early 70's, the two remaining spouses moved in together. Not a romantic situation, just a caring one. Taney34
Let's do 30!!Giphy
Yup. 30 was our agreement, but we found ourselves both single in our 20s and thought, what the heck, let's give it a shot. Dated for nearly 5 years, and we're about to celebrate our 13th anniversary of marriage. UsernameObscured
We all joke about it from time to time: "If we're still single by this date, we'll get married ourselves!" But do any people actually go through with it?
That was the basis for today's burning question from Redditor how-the-turn-tables, who asked the online community: Has anyone ever honoured one of those "if we're still single at 40 let's get married" commitments? How did it go?