Redditor Bertarioni85 wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
Perfect
"The Nod."
LongrodV0NhugenD0NG
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
Jibber_Fight
Robert Redford Nod GIFGiphyMake Room
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
hesawavemasterrr
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
roofiethedog
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
mr-random-ny
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
MustWarn0thers
Never Forget
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
rapalosaur
Power
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
anonymous5534
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
DEcrypt1SouL
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphyWow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twice
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Pixelthomas
talking episode 15 GIFGiphySticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
Itchy_Clutch
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
JoeWinchester99
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
Manowaffle
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
BosephusPrime
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
Regular-Bat-4449
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
Neednowater
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
azen96
Nothing!
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
concequence
Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphyBehind the Walls
"We all want a secret passage in our house, somewhere. We all want to pick up that stick we walked past that looks like a gun or a sword."
AkimboMajestic
"Yeah always wanted that since a kid. Promised myself that plus a snooker room, arcade room, and a room that is completely bare except a single mirror on each surface (Inc floor and ceiling)."
"I read, wether true or not I dunno, that NASA used to have a room like that as a last test for astronauts as a surprise and if you fell over then you fail. As an adult I have an Xbox. Not so much the other stuff."
Crivens999
Tap It
"When you strap something down you have to slap the top of it and assure that it isn’t going anywhere."
SoleShihtzu
"I work at a granite countertop shop and when I was loading trucks anytime we finished one me and my buddy would look at each other, shake the cart and say, 'Oh yeah this *itch ain’t going anywhere.'"
iRevelate
"This is true. Clacking kitchen tongs to make sure they work is stupid though. I'm totally doing it next time I use them and every time after... but it's still stupid."
ZenkaiZ
What is Caught
"Zippers are dangerous."
moritsune
"I’ve never understood the appeal, jeans (or any pants) on bare butt sucks majorly, is crazy uncomfortable. I also don’t want the essence of all all over the inside of my pants because it’s easier to wash underwear than pants. If someone’s wearing underwear but still getting their stuff caught in a zipper, how???"
Noodlepoof
Technique
"We have to hold our mouth a certain way when we are doing something technical."
BCEXP
Not Working Technical Difficulties GIF by FoojiGiphyLiving in Fear
"The fear of thinking that you will get kidney stones one day."
PsyPexi
"I had it once because of bad habits (coke instead of water and too much sugar in general). Dismissed those habits and never came back in 20 years. Drink water, be fit, will never happen!"
As03
"Fear? I’ve already had to get two removed… the pain was unbearable. And having the tube removed after the procedure was… less than comfortable."
ChronoLegion2
You never know...
"Sometimes my sex drive in an inconvenience. It seriously over powers my normal thought processes at the worst times and then I have this internal battle. Lol."
Honest-Guy83
"The power of erections can lead us to marriages, 4 kids and a minivan, a dark alley, the church bathroom, the boat ramp, or even in a random brothel in Thailand after a drunken night out with the boys. You never know."
DOEsquire
Be Better
"If you are kicking a stone whilst walking and you miss a kick and it gets left behind you are not supposed to go back to kick it again (and you know also feel sad)."
gdevil334
mad homer simpson GIFGiphyAll the Things
"I find it fascinating that no matter where we are from we can all agree on similar stuff. Like nodding, tonging, not taking the urinal next to somebody, never really receiving compliments as men. I'm from Germany and I can definitely relate, I think you guys from all over the world can as well."
"That being said, men can just hang out and not speak a single word for hours. My best friend and me would hang out on a daily basis when we were younger (am 33 now) and just watch TV, play Fifa and smoke some weed. His sister is still impressed to this day, later on her boyfriend joined us too."
"But sometimes when we had full blown conversations, almost to the point where we would fight each other it was about some random, unimportant bulls**t like 'if we were sharks would we still smoke weed' or stuff like that hahaha."
VincentVega_069
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.
I've met a few people who did time and utilized it to learn. It's always possible.
No Bumping
buster keaton GIFGiphy"When my dad came home from prison I remember him being very polite .He was careful not to bump anybody, and he always said excuse me if he were trying to pass somebody."
kindalikeacoustic
Gotta Go!
"The dorm pod I was in had metal stairs that made loud noises when you walked down them. Almost got in a fight with 3 other people because I woke up at night and had to piss and woke everyone up. To this day I can't fall asleep without peeing immediately before laying down. Like, even if I went less than an hour earlier I have to stand there and focus with yogi-like intensity to squeeze a few drops out or I lay awake feeling like my bladder is full."
StubisMcGee
Perfect Game
"I can play Spades a bit better now."
HGMIV926
"Man I got really good at spades in there. Played constantly. Had 400 packets of ramen at one point, then people stopped wanting to play me and my partner."
chaktahwilly
"I can never find anyone who knows how to play spades and it is very frustrating. Hokm is a game with almost the exact same rules, except spades is not necessarily the high suit. Cards are dealt face up at the beginning and whoever gets the first ace, after being dealt the first hand of five cards, chooses the high suit. The rest of the hand is then dealt and the game proceeds."
ApathyEngage
Checkmate
"Man jail-house chess players are fun opponents. They can play some stupid s**t that ends up transposing into a solid mainline. I'll be like, how can I punish this? then all of a sudden be like, oh we're here?"
toastar-phone
"Wow, that's funny you should mention that. I was talking to a US chess champion in a bookstore once (chance encounter) who regularly played against dozens of people for charity. He randomly mentioned that people who learned in jail were very tricky because it was all nonstandard stuff and lots of tricks and traps. But said he always beats them anyway."
taleofbenji
In Between
Salt Bae Sugar GIF by TruviaGiphy"Save every extra sugar packet I come across in case I get hungry between meals."
cbauser
Well it sounds like there are skills to be acquired while the time goes by.
Food Needs
Mr Bean Eating GIFGiphy"Eating fast. Too fast honestly."
marksm4n0neshot
"Picked this up in the military and 14 years later I still scarf my food down like the worlds ending."
Sublime_Dino
Use of Space
"My bedroom is basically set up like my old cell. In my bedroom I have everything at arms length. I sit with my back to the wall when I'm out. I still pace back and forth in small spaces."
ieata**fordays
"My boyfriend still does all of this too. He also sleeps with a crow bar or a bat next to the bed and gets super on edge when someone comes walking up behind him. When we go out to eat he always needs to be facing the door. I get annoyed with it sometimes but when he explains how we've both had very different live experiences it really puts it into context."
brisleynaomi
Never Bored
"Being entertained doing absolutely nothing like staring at a wall I just don’t get bored anymore."
No-Improvement-6734
"I was put on three months bed rest at the start of 2020, and I learned this skill. I’m honestly never bored. Ever. I’m not someone who’s really ever been bored much to begin with. I would spend hours thinking about everything and nothing and staring at the trees out my window. Very healing actually."
mosesthekitten41
Slow Response
"I did 12 years in a state institution. The only really strange thing to me was answering the telephone. First off, you don't receive calls. Second, once the call connects, you can hear them say hello and then a prompt plays letting them know the call is recorded and what not before you then say hello. For about a year people would answer when I call them and I would wait for the recording to play before responding."
LHDC417
Senses Up
Spider-Man What GIF by Caleb Linden DesignGiphy"Hypervigilant. Size up everyone everywhere I go. Especially public transport and public spaces."
shep_ling
Private Pooper
"Well my brother had a hard time closing the door to poop he said it felt weird to poop alone."
-roarnation
"Before jail, I was a private pooper. Sucks the first week bc you know you gotta s**t but just can’t. You get over it. Still a private pooper but my wife kids and dog all love to join me in the bathroom for my after work shit and decompression time. It still drives me up a wall bc our bathroom is TINY but I hold my tongue out of love."
sweat119
Reflections
"Former prison librarian. I learned to always look in window reflections to make sure my back was covered. I had to count inmates as they came into the library so that there weren't too many people. I can look in a room full of people and give a really accurate estimate of how many bodies are in a room because of this."
mindfulminx
FASTER!
"I eat with my plate tucked between my arms, huddled over it like a trough, shoveling it in as fast as possible."
hungry_hat
"My adopted brother does this too. we slowly taught him that he doesn't need to do that anymore, but it's heartbreaking to see a skinny, small 11 old year child golf down their food like there's no tomorrow. He grew 20 centimeters in 2.5 years of being with us, maybe more."
c4rem0nster
Hands Off
Seinfeld Soup GIFGiphy"Ice cubes. Spoon. Soup. Eat it as fast as possible this way. Don't let someone have the chance to take your soup."
Elfere
Just leave it nice...
"Flushing before it hits the water on every drop to mitigate the smell everyone has to deal with. Lots of flushes. Work probably wonders what the *uck is going on in the restroom when I’m in there. And general toilet cleanliness etiquette so it’s nice for the next person. I don’t want to clean up your nastiness, you don’t want to clean up mine. It’s a good way to get into it with someone for the dumbest reason. Just leave it nice."
"To be clear, I was not advocating many flushes. I was just answering the question honestly about what stuck with me. I do advocate the cleanliness part tho. Do that. To avoid wasting water there are environmentally friendly before-you-go sprays that create a scented oily slick on the water’s surface that mask and trap smells beneath the surface pretty well."
"Then you only need minimal flushing. I’d suggest looking into that for work/office/communal restroom situations. Problem is they don’t have that inside, and if I have to choose between flushing a few times, or trying to explain why the smell is good for everyone because I’m saving the planet and we should all be happy about that instead of pissed at me. Could I lose the habit now? Sure."
GRAVITRON_748
"commodities"
"My husband still makes 'jail snacks,' he also turns meals into sandwiches because bread was cheap and filling. Spaghetti between bread slices is an example. If we go somewhere like a restaurant, he's extremely uncomfortable if he doesn't have his back against a wall so he can see the room and no one can be behind him. He's very quick to anger/react if he feels disrespected. I also know people who hide items they feel are valuable. Even if they live alone, they hide 'commodities' like good snacks, Crest Whitestrips, etc."
chut2906
NOW
"Made a habit of addressing something that could potentially become a problem. Harshly and immediately. Currently trying to drop the harsh part."
Apart_Advantage6256
'aha'
"Not me but a 'Brother from another Mother' did. We were roommates for a while and he had a peculiar habit that i had no clue where it came from. He would wake up early and do his 'business' in the dark, door wide open, and smoking a cig. Without fail, every morning. Took me a night in County jail to put 2 and 2 together and have my 'aha' moment."
42_Dude
All walks of life...
"I was a corrections officer for 8.5 years, if you’re not on a power trip you learn how to talk to anyone. People from all walks of life, with charges ranging from shoplifting to murder. I could walk into any housing unit and talk to any inmate without hesitation. If you’re not a *ick It also teaches you how to talk someone down so you don’t have to fight with them."
justneedadvice87
This are some very interesting habits they've picked up.
Do you have similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.