Redditor h-gotfred wanted to hear from the over 50 crowd, so they asked:
"To you Redditors aged 50+, what's something you genuinely believe young people haven't realized yet, but could enrich their lives or positively impact their outlook on life?"
There is so much to know about life.
And we have to age to learn it.
So let's chat...
Be Happy
just married love GIFGiphy"Marriage/relationships should be fun, and happy. Life is hard, things get tough. Find someone that makes the tough times easier, not harder."
Inevitable-Mine6466
"Piggybacking off this and saying, even the happiest marriages get into arguments. It's not a reason to leave."
J3sush8sm3
Battles...
"Not everything that you disagree with deserves an argument. Pick your battles and let trivial things slide."
hail2theKingbabee
"To echo this: Not everyone you disagree with is 'wrong.' They are simply operating with different information. You can disagree with someone on an issue and still value the person. Don't let one issue define your entire relationship with another person."
A_Socratic_Argument
The End
"If you die, your employer will have your job posted before you are buried. Remember that when making work/life choices."
Justin9314
"I started my career at corporate headquarters for a large insurance company. I was doing GREAT, but I just didn’t like the industry. I applied for a job at a major university and someone took a chance on me and gave me the position (transitioning from for-profit to non-profit is notoriously hard)."
"I made less money over the course of my career certainly but I wasn’t on poverty wages by any means. But I remember about 5 years in, one of my old VPs was in town and we got together. His comment was 'We miss you, but you look so much happier, the psychic income is showing.' Insightful guy."
Reynyan
The Truth
"2 things I will be eternally grateful to my grandfather for instilling in me..."
"Failure is not an end state unless it is where you choose to stop. He loved to quote that line by Churchill whenever something didn't work out for me, Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"Honesty is the most powerful tool you can use to define yourself. Admit your mistake, frankly and honestly. The truth always comes out in the end no matter how big or small and it doesn't get better with age. You can give back something you steal, and you can help those you hurt but once they brand you a liar, it's all you will ever be."
iskandar-
Be Quiet
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"Unless you don't mind hearing EEEEEEEEEEEE like all the time day and night, use hearing protection in loud situations. Tinnitus is a bi*ch."
revnhoj
Take care of your ears.
One of life's greatest lessons!!!
Live by the Moon
bart simpson maggie GIFGiphy"Wear sunscreen."
nilecrane
"I just had a quick look at my 50-year-old upper chest, frequently exposed to the sun in my youth, and compared it to my 50-year-old belly, which has always been clothed and covered (I have never liked two-piece swimsuits). What a difference!"
HootieRocker59
Passions
"Take a genuine interest in what other people have to say, ask them follow-up questions about their passions in life. Don’t just talk about yourself, or wait for your turn to talk. That’s how you have a conversation, and build a relationship."
MayIServeYouWell
"Sometimes you gotta be careful with that. Pay attention if the other person is doing that too, it's important for you to share about your life. It can be kind of lonely when you know so much about your friends, but they don't know about you."
jacarelunar
Practice makes Perfect
"Every skill takes determined practice to master. I see my young friends/relatives try and give up on so many things because 'they weren't very good at it.' If you keep doing that, you'll never be very good at anything."
EarhornJonesI
"I love cooking - and find it easy and relaxing. I have hit a point where I can make several dishes that I can honestly say are far superior to what I could get at a restaurant. I love delighting my family and friends with what I cook."
"But the truth is - I've prepared thousands of dishes. I've practiced for 40+ years. I have f**ked up every single type of food there is at least once. I've burnt things. I've undercooked chicken. I failed to emulsify things that should have been emulsified. I forgot to set the timer. I've added too much salt. I chopped when I should have torn. I did all of the wrong things at some point. And because of all of these things, I can walk into any kitchen and make something delicious."
NewSummerOrange
63
"I’d say invest in your health by regularly exercising. My wife got me into running when we were in our twenties, and it has been a big part of our lives ever since (I’m 63). Nothing crazy, no marathons, we don’t time ourselves or follow a strict training plan, we just pick a route, go at our own pace, and have fun. We still go 3-4 miles, 3-4x per week."
"I also started working out at the gym 3x a week with free weights in my 30s, and have been doing it ever since. I’m no Schwarzenegger, believe me, but I can still work around the house, move furniture, shovel snow and have fun tossing a ball around with the kids without injuring or exhausting myself. Between aerobic fitness and weights, I’ve been able to stay remarkably healthy my entire adult life, knock on wood. It’s also been great for my mental health and managing stress."
"You don’t have to go nuts and set unreasonably strict requirements for exercise goals or diet that a normal person can’t possibly maintain - just do the best you can, make exercising a few times per week a habit, eat a reasonable diet (avoid fried stuff, eat fruit and veggies, lay off the sweets), and 40 years later you’ll really thank yourself, believe me!"
lanky_planky
Plan Ahead
Make It Rain Money GIF by yvngswagGiphy"Debt can really ruin your life. If you want to take on a lot of it, make sure you have a good plan and run it by a lot of smart people first."
vanityklaw
Debt. Everyone should learn about avoiding debt as early as possible.
This whole list should be taught in Universities.
Redditor Palarity was curious to hear some of the rude awakenings people had as they entered adulthood, leading them to ask:
"What were you grossly unprepared for as an adult?"
Who's the boss here? Wait, me?!
"The slow realization that I am the adult in the room who's supposed to help out everyone else."- lapsangsouchogn
Not relying on your parents anymore
"Trivial in comparison to many things, but keeping up familial social obligations."
"Like, it's now on me to check in with aunt M and how she's recovering after her recent surgery, send a gift to cousin K's new baby, congratulate 2nd cousin T on his graduation, etc."
"Gone are the days when my mom did all of that and I just had to sign my name on the card or whatever."- InannasPocket
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGNo more chilling on the quad...
"Going from having tons of friends to really having no one."- ZachariahCasey
Wondering if you have, in fact, "grown up".
"How much I still feel like a kid on the inside."- RosesSpins
Life is precious and unpredictable.
"Loss."
"As time passes and you become an adult, there are two guarantees:"
"1: the adults that shaped you, whom you love and adore, also get older."
"Older and sicker and will die, hopefully later but sometimes so much sooner than you would ever imagine."
"And 2: Peers and folks younger than you will die too, often with little to no rhyme or reason."
"My parents would say growing up that 'death is a part of life'.”
"But I’m not sure there is any way to prepare for really UNDERSTANDING that fact until you experience it yourself as you grow up."- Mbathrowaway202two
Taking care of yourself
"Dealing with a chronic health issue."- Square_Tangelo_7542
It's not all fun and games
"How little time in a week there is to enjoy 'life' after working full time."- Ser0t0n1n
Too Much Deadline GIF by Jeremy Speed SchwartzGiphyThat some people don't grow up.
'How insecure and incompetent other adults are."- ducvette
Bullies aren't only found in high schools.
"Bullying at the workplace by other 'adults'."- MathematicianOld1117
The truth is, nothing can prepare anyone for adulthood.
Primarily owing to the fact that no one follows the same path, so there is just no telling what life has in store for you.
But maybe the best part of being an adult, is that you are always learning, only now you don't have to show up to class or hand in homework to prove the lesson has sunk in.
I learned I drink too much. It's a start.
Time Flies...
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphy"2 weeks can turn into 2 years real quick lol."
radar_ryan
Changes
"The trajectory of your entire life can change in an instant."
MirandaDaPanda
"This. I was a dedicated museum worker just finishing my degree in museology. The pandemic made that all museums had to be temporarily closed, and then closed for even longer and I had to get a new job."
"Now I work for a tech startup and I LOVE it and even got a permanent position. Never thought I would become an office rat, but my team and company and the salary are just awesome. If you told me that before the pandemic I would have just laughed in disbelief."
Tove279
What Matters
"Who are my real friends. That socializing does actually somewhat matter and that grades/career aren't everything."
eliwman
"I 100% lost some people I thought were really close friends during lock down, they just never put the effort in and I finally saw that."
LadyPandy
Just Me
"I really, really like hanging out by myself."
some-girl-online
"Totally opposite for me. I used to love my alone time, likely because I never got it. After 2 years alone with just myself and a cat I was going crazy. Now I've found a happy medium where I get 2-3 hours a day alone and the rest is full of friends / colleagues, and it is working out well. Some days I don't get alone time and a few extra hours on my own the next day makes up for it."
Saraniah
Just yuck
Over It Ugh GIF by ZEPETOGiphy"Life just sucks sometimes, that’s the way it is and there’s nothing you can really do about it and you just kinda have to accept it and keep going."
anonymous5534
Life sucks. That fact has never been clearer.
Shake Baby
Disco GIFGiphy"Dancing like an idiot to disco in my house is my favorite form of exercise."
chemical_sunset
Bad Grind
"That the 9-5 grind is absolutely freaking toxic as hell. The amount of free time working from home and cutting down on my travel time has given me. It's improved my relationships. Given me more time with my kid and fiancé. Less time spent outside of those 8 hours doing chores and errands. I recognize that this isn't possible for every career and I'm sorry if this doesn't apply to you. But that's why our society needs to change. People need more time to themselves."
Pot-Pilgrim
Happiness
"It taught me a lot. It taught me: I don't have to go to an office to work. I can have a deep relationship with my kids. I can re-shingle my garage. I can walk my dog during the day instead of staring at my office wall. I can sell my second car and save on gas and insurance. I can be happy and fulfilled."
feral_philosopher
Together
"It taught me that I love my partner and we work together well in difficult times. We started an illegal take out food business to make ends meet, we started cooking at 8 am and had all the food in containers and ready to go at 6pm for about 20 people per night."
"I am a furniture maker who lost access to my woodshop with so many people testing positive. My girlfriend is a PhD student who couldn’t go to school and get paid for TA hours. We both had never worked in the food industry. We decided to isolate together and made a ridiculously successful business. A year later we got married, because we kicked the crap out of lockdown."
ThinkIGotHacked
Noises Off
"That when the time comes the rich and politicians will throw us under the bus and then complain about the noise it makes."
SeleneTheNewMoon
What a time it was. What a time it still is. Good luck all.
Baseball Fail GIFKeep Trying
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
gotogarrett
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
Odd-Butterscotch-495
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
Fabulous_Parking66
Wait
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
chivesr
Together
Giphy"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
Equivalent_Squash
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
Style
masturbation im horny GIFGiphy"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
User Deleted
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
joleph
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
FederalTiddyApraiser
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
ideletedmyusername21
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
OnceAStudent__
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
Ulfran
Noises Off
Grocery Store Reaction GIF by TravisGiphy"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
SnooWoofers455
No Hands
"Penises can move on their own! Well, be moved by their owner without hands, that shocked me that they can make em bounce."'
pinkupixels
"If a persons heart rate is high enough while sporting an erection, their penis will pulse (move) along with their heart beat."
Entry-Murky
I'm Out!
"How sleepy you got after you have an orgasm... Stuff can be like an instant valium."
MrSparklesan
"My bf figured that one out early during our phone sex sessions it takes me maybe 10 to 15 minutes to recover and want more when I reach climax but my bf is just 'Alright! Time to pass out!' which kinda sucks on my part."
CuteHeart2566
Bad Substitute
"Porn is a terrible guide for virgins. You are unlikely to be coordinated enough or understand your partner's body well enough to do any of that weird stuff. Also, 90% of the positions you see in porn are uncomfortable as all hell. Start slow, communicate, explore each other and learn, that is the key to having a good first time. Source: someone who had no idea what he was doing and made an absolute jacka** of himself on his first attempt."
UnClean_Committee
Angles
geometry GIFGiphy"The vaginal canal is often at an angle and not simply directed straight down."
_Steve_French_
Prepare
"It's a good idea to stretch before. A cramp can really throw the mood off."
eggtart_prince
"And if you get a cramp it's better to own it and be honest with a quick minute break than to power through it or enter a new crazy position that makes no sense at all and leaves your partner wondering where the f**k you learnt this from."
FreshSyntax
Pacing
Calm Down Champions League GIF by Liverpool FCGiphy"It doesn’t have to be fast… slow and steady wins the race."
malak_oz
Low Expectations
"The vagina is lower than expected, I assumed it started at the same place as a penis, and with my first gf I slipped a hand down her trousers and thought she was some weird barbie doll human with a smooth patch instead of genitals. Jeez this innocuous work toilet comment really resonated with people."
adolfspalantir
Weight/Balance
"How important push-ups are."
m_science
"Best tip I can give is learning to put the majority of your weight on your knees, you don't need them up in the air while on top. Doing that I can go 15+ min even though I'm fairly out of shape myself."
kjlwillycoyote
"Planks even more so."
Fit-Depth-4215
Look Away
Netflix Popcorn GIF by TeamTOGiphy"That I’d have to kick my cat out of the room because she would sit at the end of the bed and watch."
Alternative_Law6597
"Lol... our dogs do the same. It’s like you have your own private audience if you get caught up in the moment and forget to kick them out."
xStrawhat7x
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.