Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.
Redditor 20195780 wanted to hear about all the things we've done as children that were more odd than regular, so they asked:
"What things did you do as a kid that you now realize is extremely weird?"
Biggest life lesson... Nothing is normal kids.
Eat Up
I Love You Omg GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Ate rose petals. My grandfather told me they are edible. I still eat one when I go visit his grave."
Unsyr
In my Room
"There were spiders and mice in my room which totally freaked me out so every night before I went to sleep I'd whisper a report of what the weather was outside to encourage them to go outside rather than stay inside and bite me in my sleep."
Jimothy-Goldenface
"That is so cute. Rather than wanting them to be killed or refusing to sleep in your own room, you just told them the weather instead. Super cute!"
tejnno
"This reminds me of what I'd do. I would rotate my stuffed animals that I slept with so they wouldn't feel left out. I did this by putting them in an ever changing line around my bottom bunk bed against the wall. Part of my bedtime ritual was scooting them down by one so I would know which one to sleep with the next night."
"And the one first in line would assume to seat of honor with me on my pillow. As I tried to fall asleep I would think about each meal I had that day and feed each stuffed animal the ghost of that food. I also fed the ghost of my grandfather."
AceTheKid450
Ventilation
"I used to host imaginary science shows where I would get questions from viewers that I had to answer. I don't remember a lot of the questions from my fake audience, but I remember trying to explain that glass actually could let air through, and that was the explanation to how we didn't suffocate when all the doors and windows were shut."
"Young me did not know a whole lot about ventilation."
"I also remembered something else now, my mom worked as a nurse, and she sometimes let me take syringes home with me, both with and without needles (don't really know how I feel about that nowadays, though). I sometimes took a bit of everything from our bathroom (shower gels, shampoo, whatever fluid I could get my hands on basically), and I filled a mixture of the s**t and put into a syringe."
"I then sneaked around the apartment and chose my victim: a poor plant of some kind. I injected a small dose of the magical elixir into the poor plant."
"Super happy this didn't develop some sort of mental disorder for me later."
H-Lunulata
Experiments
"I used to have 'science experiments' in the bathroom sink. Meaning, I’d go the bathroom and lock the door. Once in I’d make sure the sink drain was shut and then proceed to add every cleaner/chemical/ shampoo etc under the sink to the sink in hopes of a reaction. Never got one, but it also never stopped me from trying. In hindsight I probably could have killed myself if I had mixed the wrong stuff. I obviously didn’t."
WilliamHarry
Thief
Stealing Mike D GIF by Beastie BoysGiphy"I used to steal things from my sister when she was mean to me, and then hide them by sewing them into her stuffed animals. She found out a few months ago and was really freaked out."
Pearlhuntress
Ah, stealing, who hasn't done it?
Blended
animation domination fox GIFGiphy"Not me, but my partner used to keep Kiwis (the fruits) as pets. He would name them and take care of them... until his mom took them to blend into a smoothie. That was a rude awakening for him."
spacelordmthrfkr
Eat What?
"I used to eat tissues as a kid. My mum found out one day and yelled at me to stop, (as any sane parent would do) so I started eating them in secret. Sneaking away with a tissue box to another room to eat a tissue or two."
"Until one day when I was about 5 years old I had to go to the hospital. I had no idea what was going on all I knew was that I had trouble breathing through my nose."
"Before my operation I was in the hospital and I overheard one of the nurses say that they just needed to remove the excess tissue in my nose. Naturally I thought that the tissues I had eaten had started getting clogged up in my nose and I never ate a tissue again. I made the realisation at 14 that it was muscle tissue in my nose and not the actual tissues I was eating."
AutisticArmadillo
Jokes on them...
"A few years ago, I was visiting my aunt and uncle, and they had some old film from the '80s of my extended family on a camping trip. There was a full playset there including a trampoline, and my mother was filming my cousins and I playing. I'm not sure why my aunt and uncle had the tape instead of my mother, but whatever."
"I was about 3 at the time, and my mother panned the camera away from my cousins playing on a swing set towards me on the trampoline. Except I was lying face down on the trampoline, full-on thrusting my hips into it as hard as I could."
"Now, I don't specifically remember doing that, but I have a pretty good idea of how my little mind worked at the time."
"I'm certain that I was just trying to see if I could build up enough force to lift myself off the trampoline mat, or flip myself over. Still, not exactly the best thing to be watching with your aunt and uncle, who threatened to save it and show at my wedding."
"Jokes on them; I pocketed the tape when they weren't looking."
gravitydefyingturtle
Almost 60
"Several friends and myself had a fascination with writing in code. We had little pocket notebooks full of codes and deciphering instructions (also in code) and would write volumes of notes between us in code. Notebooks got confiscated by a teacher, we wouldn't tell her how to decode, she tried to get us in trouble. Parents thought it was hilarious. I'm almost 60 and I still have one of these notebooks around somewhere."
kellydean1
Gimme Water
Water Douse GIFGiphy"I used to waste a crap ton of water by turning on the shower and lay on the floor next to it with a towel over my body and fall asleep with a tiny bit of water splashing on my face. I used to imagine I was in a cave and it was raining outside for some reason. ah good times."
Azz*ock
Kids have so much more fun before we learn the truth.
Redditor kyukale0310 wanted everyone to share about what life is like with a little more self-worth and asked:
"What do you do confidently now that made you feel weird in the past?"
For me, I'm better at life in general with confidence. Still a long way to go.
Gimme!
Pay Me Season 3 GIF by Good TroubleGiphy"Asking people to pay back money they borrowed."
macabre_irony
"God, back in my senior year of college, I used to dread asking my roommates to give me the money for the bills. No idea why, since that's what they agreed to, I just felt like such an a**hole for doing so."
Dahhhkness
Packaging
"Unwrapping a tampon in a public bathroom."
anonuglysimpleetc
"Lol. The differences in experiences here are great. I definitely used to pretend I was unwrapping a tampon so it didn't sound like I was just waiting for the other person to leave so I could poop."
churlishcurls
"Yeah so ironic how all the adverts talk about how 'small and discrete' their new tampon is, but still make the packaging the loudest sound in the world."
Amazon_river
I just love birds...
"Paint/draw and then share it with strangers. I did not grow up with art and had absolutely no confidence in attempting it. During our quarantine this spring, I taught myself how to watercolor and draw birds and am now selling prints and stickers and donating 100% of the profits to bird conservation groups. I just love birds."
bakedfish
Turn Around
"Walking down the street, realizing I was going in the wrong direction, and making a U-turn without pretending to have forgotten something."
jam_jj_
"Same here. My old tactic, since the cell phone era began, was to stop in front of some building, look around like I was waiting for someone, and pretend to call or text that person until I was certain that anyone who might've seen me was well out of distance before turning around."
Dahhhkness
All Wet
Pool Party Swimming GIF by Party Down SouthGiphy"Swim without a shirt on. My sisters made fun of how I looked without a shirt on when I was like 12 and it stuck with me for years. Just the other day I went to the beach and realized that I finally don’t care anymore."
eternalrefuge86
That shirtless swim is still an uphill battle for me.
Hear Me!
hear me what GIF by Rico NastyGiphy"Saying how I feel. I'd usually bottle things up because I didn't want to upset anyone."
Dining Out
"Going out for a meal on my own."
SnooMacaroons08
"Thank you for this one! You reminded me of the first time I did this when I was about 20 years old. Moved into a new neighborhood and really wanted to try this cute little place down the street from my apartment but was solo."
"Put it off too many nights to admit, until finally said screw it, grabbed a book, got a table and had the 4 course prixfix menu and I loved it! I was super nervous and embarrassed, but ended up having a pretty damn fine time, ends up I’m ok company!"
cookinmy**ckinassoff
All of It
"So many things! Getting older and caring less about what people who don’t matter to me think of me has been extremely liberating. I’ve also learned that most people aren’t actually paying attention when you do something stupid or embarrassing, people are usually off in their own little worlds."
"I was a very self-conscious and eccentric child, but adult me has fully embraced my weird side, and it’s wonderful. I am who I am meant to be, and I’m surrounded by amazing people."
BlackCaaaaat
Cinema Time
"Not really at the present, not since February, but going to the cinema alone. First time I ever did, back in 2016 it felt weird to be honest. Even had a mother ask me if I was waiting for anyone when I saw Kong: Skull Island, but now I actually prefer it most times."
"It means I don’t have to worry about scheduling with a friend on what day’s best."
"Don’t get me wrong, I have still gone with friends but 90-95% of the time I go alone, I can do whatever I want before or afterwards, whether to look around the shops or just go straight home."
comrade_batman
Proud
Speech Language GIF by jetlifebabyGiphy"ENGLISH! I used to be terrible and my accent still sucks sometimes, but after more than 20 years of practice and a bachelor degree from an English university, now I'm quite proud to be bilingual."
Sometimes it only takes a bunch of practice.
What do you now do with confidence that you wouldn't have done years ago? Let us know in the comments.
Redditor ChadBrowGer wanted to hear from all the gents out there and asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the hardest thing to explain to women?"
PICK ONE!
Meet Up Season 7 GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"It's ok to just tell me where you want to eat."
I just live...
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live."
RoastyMyToasty99
"Work gets put into a box as soon as I clock out, I then spend then time it takes to get home to flush my mind of it all so I am not angry or stressed about my day."
"I don't want to think about work until I clock back in the next morning. My day was the same and something funny or interesting may have happened but I am not opening that box when I'm sitting at home staring into the neighbors trees blowing in the wind."
theflyingkiwi00
Calm Down
"I'm seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office. I turn my head for damn near everything that enters my periphery, you're really not that special."
Iniquox
"This makes me so freaking self-conscious in the gym. Everytime someone walks past I look, especially in the mirrors and I always catch the eye of a girl probably thinking I'm checking her out. I really don't wanna be seen as that creepy guy making girls at the gym uncomfortable. It's literally the last thing I'm thinking about."
jimmyjinx
Codeless
"When we say we need time or space, that’s exactly what we need. It’s not code for 'you need to try harder.'"
LeaveForNoRaisin
"Had an ex who would keep pushing me to talk when I got angry about something. I just wanted some time to cool off before having a discussion about it."
"One of the reasons she's an ex. My wife now is fantastic, we understand each other and when it's best to just shut up and let things settle. More often than not we realise the reason for getting grumpy in the first place is trivial and we get over it."
cyborg_127
Hands Up
Yep Reaction GIF by C H A R L Ö T T EGiphy"The specifics of nod code. It’s easy to say 'up if you know them; down if you don’t' but the exact meaning of the downward nod is hard to translate. It’s seeing them, acknowledging them, and saying that neither of us have any issue with each other."
SmartAlec105
"Raise your hand if you just nodded by yourself several times."
gravyjives
A simple nod speaks volumes.
Who Knows?
Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy"Why I don't know what the heck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day."
Apollo1255
You First
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep."
NKoreaisbestKorea
"It doesn’t necessarily make me feel like a creep, but it makes me think the girl doesn’t actually want sex most of the time."
"When a girl does ask for sex or initiates it in her own way, it makes it so much more fun for me and takes out a lot of the anxiety and stress that sometimes surrounds sex in a relationship because it really does feel like a two sided give and receive situation."
Gulliath
Conflict Resolution
"Sometimes (this is me personally so I can't say it's common) the struggle not to share emotions isn't as much the worry of backlash from society or friends, etc. It's more just a conflict within ourselves to verbalize and come out with it. I trust my friends with respecting how I feel, I just can't get it out because I'm fighting myself."
FoxxyPantz
Love Me Tender
"Sometimes I’m just horny, but (in a committed relationship) sometimes I look at you and I’m just so in love that I want to be as close and intimate with you as I can, which is sex. My ex and I had different love languages, and she would worry that I don’t love her as much as she loves me which was just crazy because I was head over heels for her at all times. Trying to explain that that really close, lovey sex was one of the ways I showed her exactly how deeply I was in love with her, but she didn’t get it."
No More to Tell
Talking Blah Blah Blah GIF by Wiz KhalifaGiphy"Very often, we say something at its face value with no double meaning, or alternative meaning, behind it. It's women who ask me, 'What did you mean when you asked/said that?'"
"I said/asked exactly what I meant. If wanted to state it differently, I would have done so."
Well, that all sounds easy enough. A little clarification can go a long way.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
A deleted Redditor wanted to discuss the most shockingly simple knowledge we acquire later in life. So they asked everyone:
"What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?"
I'm still processing the fact that Elton John isn't singing to young Tony Danza.
The more you know.
Smorn
Sorry Good Morning GIF by PEEKASSOGiphy"Not me, but in college my buddy asked me how to spell 'smorning' because his phone didn't recognize it as a word. He then goes on to say 'you know, like 'the smorning.' I ask, "do you mean 'this morning??'"
InfernoCBR
Dirty Snow
"I lived in a desert most of my life. No snow. Before my recent experience, I had spent maybe a total of 5 days of my life in snow, and the snow I was in was incredibly light. Because of this I always pictured snow as eternally white and ethereal, like in all the cartoons I'd watched as a kid."
"Went to spend time with my partner's family back in the Midwest in early February. I was absolutely enchanted on my first day of the two week stint. Then I watched what happened as the snow stayed around. And I got to see black ice and the nasty gray/brown snow blocks on the side of the road."
"I suppose I should have KNOWN snow got dirty and tracked over and nasty but I didn't. Robbed the childhood wonder and whimsy right from under my nose."
Happy 19TH!!
"I was baking a cake in my dorm for my 19th birthday. My friends were running around and being loud so I yelled at them to stop because I didn’t want them to ruin the cake. They looked at me like I had two heads so I had to explain that my siblings and I were always taught that making loud noises or running around a kitchen when something was baking would make it fall. I was surprised they had never learned that baking rule."
"Yeah turns out that was made up to stop kids from running and being loud for a couple hours when baking was being done. I called my mom up to ask her about it and both she and my grandma were just as shocked as I was to find out it’s a myth, so apparently at least 3 generations have believed and followed that rule."
rakedleaves
Damn Ma!
"My mother used to feed me 'dark green lettuce' as salads, I loved it even when I was a kid."
"I think I was 17 and I had a friend over for dinner, asked my mom for seconds of dark green lettuce."
"Friend looks at me, 'Uh, you mean spinach?'"
"Moms had been fooling me my whole life."
Marutar
Pecking Order
"I thought Robins (the birds) came out of hibernation at Christmas time because that's when you see them on cards and stuff in the UK. I did not realise for an verrrry long time that you in fact see them all the time, like normal birds."
bos_well_
I can't recall ever seeing a Robin. I may not be looking hard enough.
Get a Dill
Dance Dancing GIF by WoodblockGiphy"One day I had a lightbulb moment. 'Pickling is a process! You can pickle anything. SO WHAT ARE PICKLES?!?' I was gonna blow so many minds with this question. Turns out, it’s cucumbers. And everyone on the planet knew that, except me."
Goatpuppy
'Turn your head'
"I was in my mid 30s before I realized that the 'turn your head' part of 'turn your head and cough' was so that you didn't cough on the damned doctor. I always thought it must've flexed some particular muscle or something, I don't know. To my credit, I am a man and I don't think I've ever had to do that."
RaceCeeDeeCee
The Half Left
"My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times."
"I was so embarrassed to be in college before I realized that was ridiculous and finally asked him what really happened."
"In reality, he and my uncle had been working in their blacksmith shop, and my uncle accidentally brought a sledgehammer down on his pinkie. He didn't want to traumatize me with the truth as a kid, but by the time I asked, I was more than old enough to handle it."
EducatedOwlAthena
Balloons...
"When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by."
"Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it. So fast forward 20+ years. I’m on a date and we stop to get gas and we see a balloon floating by the gas station. Probably hadn’t thought of that story again in all that time."
"So I start telling my date the story about how I had a balloon fly away and then my mother found the very same balloon at a gas station and then as I’m saying it out loud I realize (too late to not look like an idiot) that of course it wasn’t the same freaking balloon. I’ve never seen someone laugh so hard."
Bonzi777
Shocked
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"For years I had been removing toast from the toaster by sticking a butter knife in and picking it out. It wasn't until I was 20 that my girlfriend freaked out when I started doing it that I learned metal in toaster = bad. Guess I'd been pretty lucky."
shallowwaters
Ok. To be fair, I've done that toaster trick before.
But now I have a toaster oven. All good.