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With 7 billion people, countless machines, and shifting earth formations all humming along constantly, sudden chaos is never far away. Every time we leave the house we accept the possibility that some total calamity could erupt around any and every corner.

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Punctuality matters, particularly when it comes to getting an education. That doesn't mean it's always possible, though.

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Listen to me ... once again ... women do not urinate from our vaginas. I'll rephrase and say it louder for the folks in the back, WE HAVE A URETHRAL OPENING FOR THAT. IF URINE IS COMING FROM A WOMANS VAGINA THEN SHE NEEDS MEDICAL INTERVENTION.

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While most people are sleeping, some work the graveyard shift. Sure, it pays better, but you also have to deal with things that go bump in the night... or that scream... or want to eat you...

Awsaf_ asked night guards of Reddit: What's the scariest experience you can share with us?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

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I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I've never been to a wedding where the bride or groom went total -zilla on everyone. I've seen some terrible parents, I've heard my fair share of unfortunate speeches - shout out to that one awkward a capella performance. So intimate; so terrible.

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