Redditor Ghost_of_Society wanted to hear about all of the worst ideas for comedy people have witnessed. So they asked everyone:
"What's the cruelest 'prank' you've ever seen?"
The only pranks I've pulled have been prank calls.
You don't know how people will react.
"friends"
Look Around Ok GIF by BounceGiphy"20 years ago, a friend of mine was prank kidnapped on halloween. Driven to a cornfield and left tied up and blindfolded for an hour. Was not funny. The 'friends' that did this actually got some time in prison."
PeeGeePeaKee420
Naked
"One of the guys on my high school track team was pantsed directly in front of the girls from the team. He wasn’t wearing underwear. The person who pantsed him was one of his close friends."
tornadobravo
"Yeah that happened to me when I was a kid. I had enough friends and self esteem that I wasn't devastated, and the girls were all really sweet like 'we didn't really see what happened' but I still never talked to that 'friend' ever again, and was a little traumatized for a while."
Live2ride86
Cruel
"Not so much a prank, but in high school, there was a girl who was apart of the spectrum and she was showing off a dance, and these cheerleaders were clearly laughing at her. The thing is, is that the girl didn’t realize they were making fun of her. They told her to do it again just so they could laugh more."
not7withu
Just like 90%
"I was 14 and going out to eat with my first girlfriend and my mom at Jimboys. Just like 90% of 14 year old males, I suffered from acne pretty bad. We were eating and having a good time and out of nowhere my mom looks to my girlfriend and asks."
"'Do you like popping bumps?'"
"My eyes widened, she knew I horrified by her question. My girlfriend just got quiet and her face went red. She then proceeds to say..."
"'What?!?!? It's not like she can't see them, and you need someone to do something about them.'"
"Then laughed, then got mad no one else thought it was funny and ruined the rest of the evening. I could never understand doing something like that to my child..."
The-DapAttack
Phoney
I Love You Valentine GIFGiphy"A girl wrote an elaborate letter pretending to be another girl in class and handed it to me. I was shocked to receive my first love letter and felt like garbage when I found out it was fake."
chdeal713
How would one think that's funny?
The Switch
oh no wtf GIF by BounceGiphy"I remember seeing a video where they switched the pregnancy test to a fake positive one on their 'friend' struggling with infertility. Messed up."
lydiethesquidie
Just Abuse
"There was that youtube 'family' that was like, 'daddy of five' or something, where one of the kids was literally -abused- constantly. They would do HORRIBLE crap to this boy and then say 'it was a prank for the channel' and he would be absolutely -destroyed- and scream he hated youtube..."
"Anything done as a prank for Youtube? Thats almost as bad as Child Abuse Pranking for Youtube."
rdewalt
The Reveal
"The TV show WB Superstar from the early 2000's. It was a show like American Idol, but they were actually looking for the worst singers. But they told the contestants they were looking for the best singers until the very end of the competition, when they revealed the truth to the winner after their final performance in front of a live audience. Very cruel show."
NerdSandwich
Hang Up
"I have no idea what radio station this was on as I was only a kid, but they used to do prank phone calls. I have little to no recollection of many of them except this one, as even as a kid I could tell it was just wrong."
"The radio host rang up a woman and advised that he was the manager of her husband's company and he was very sorry to tell her that he had been involved in an accident with some heavy machinery and it had resulted in his death."
"As you would expect the woman was beside herself with being told her husband had just died, she was wailing on the phone and the radio host couldn't really get another word in to explain it was a joke, and then they just cut off the phone call and played a song."
"Even as a kid I knew it was a really stupid and cruel idea, and I'm pretty sure that was the last time they did a 'prank' phone call."
kacey_88
Tragedy
Shaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"A group of 5 boys decided to throw rocks from an overpass at the cars below, one of the rocks ended up going through a car’s windshield and killed the driver. The boys got charged with 2nd degree murder."
noncenuggets450
Can we all agree to pranks are just dangerous?
Enough. And it goes without saying, but please do not try these at home, folks.
They see two people entering the building and sometime later, see three coming out. The biologist declares, "Oh, they must have reproduced." The engineer argues, "Our initial count must have been incorrect." The mathematician says, "Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty."
I was never a big fan of math or science, but that joke makes me chuckle. You don't necessarily have to be a master of those subjects to understand the punch lines. When Redditor u/Butcheey asked people, "What's a good science joke?", some very smart people stepped up to deliver laughs. And while they honestly go over my head sometimes, hopefully their nuances won't be lost on you!
Who's training who?
tv land dog GIF by nobodies.GiphyIvan Pavlov is sitting in a bar. The phone behind the bar starts ringing. Pavlov shoots up out of his chair and shouts, "Oh, s**t! I forgot to feed the dog!"
For the math heads
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender: "I'll have a beer." The second one says: "I'll have half a beer." The third one says: "I'll have a quarter of a beer."
The bartender pours two beers and says "you guys need to learn your limits."
What's the difference?
Einstein and his wife were going through a rough time:
Einstein: "What can I do, I'll do anything"
Wife: "I just need two things right now, space and time"
Einstein: "and the second?"
Rocks can be fun
2 tectonic plates bumped into each other. 1 said, oops, my fault! :)
People slate geology jokes way too much
Anyone a plumber or chemist?
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized
I love this joke, because it works perfectly in a written format, but there's no good way to express it orally.
That's true for any job
I'm an electrical engineer and whenever somebody asks how my day was, I always say it had its positives and negatives.
I used to be into model rocketry. Anytime someone commented on how cool that is, I would say it had its ups and downs.
What do these two know?
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are traveling in a car when they get pulled over. The cop asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "no, but I can tell you exactly where I was."
The officer takes this peculiar response as grounds to search the vehicle. Upon opening the trunk of the car, he finds a dead cat. He then asks the two men "did you know there was a dead cat in the trunk?"
Schrodinger replies "well I do now!"
Time traveling punchlines
Back To The Future Film GIFGiphyThe bartender says "sorry, we don't server faster than light particles here."
Two tachyons walk into a bar.
The punchline comes before the joke
You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?
Gassy jokes
Why did no one say a word when the king farted?
Because noble gases don't cause reactions
Helium walked into a bar Bar tender says We don't server Noble Gases round here. Helium Doesn't react
This joke has layers
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are all playing a game of hide and seek. It's Einstein's turn to be "it", so he closes his eyes and starts counting. Pascal immediately goes and finds a place to hide. Newton however doesn't go anywhere. Instead he takes out a piece of chalk, draws a 1m X 1m square on the floor, and steps inside it. Einstein finally gets done counting, opens his eyes, and exclaims "Aha, Newton I have found you!" To which Newton replies "But no, you have found Pascal!"
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Well, there are a quite a few people out there who wouldn't hesitate to ruin a couples' most special day. Imagine having spent tons of money and time to make your wedding day as flawless as possible, only for a disgruntled relative or jilted lover to trigger the most awkward moment possible during the ceremony? In the best case scenario, the objections are planned out pranks to get a good laugh out of the crowd.
Redditor u/Bowling_Cabbages never got to see such an event in person, and so asked people... "Have you ever witnessed a wedding objection? What was it like?"
10. This bitter guest did their research
"The most dramatic objection came from a guy seated further back in a church filled with people. (As an organist, I've witnessed innumerable weddings.)
He said the groom was still legally married to another woman in California - that a decree of divorce had not been finalized by the judicial system.
(Turns out the guy was correct - some glitch in the process prevented the divorce from becoming official, even though the groom thought it had long been resolved.)
Apparently, the man who spoke at the east coast wedding ceremony was related to the groom's wife, and the guy was intent on spoiling the occasion out of some bitterness he held toward the groom."
9. It was just a jest
Giphy"Only once. They were lawyers being married by one of the judges they appeared before a lot. It was done as a joke. The judge overruled the objection."
8. The nephew with good instincts
"When asked if there were any objections, right on cue, the groom's two year old nephew squealed and banged his toy car on the floor a couple of times like he was trying to make a point.
The marriage didn't last, I guess he's the only one who was perceptive enough to know."
7. This very funny gag
"I didn't go to this wedding but my father is a pastor and to this day claims this to be the craziest ceremony he's done.
The couple wanted a redneck-but-not-redneck wedding. They rented him a big rich cowboy suit. Think Doug Dimmadome. They then proceeded to give him a holstered revolver with a blank in it and told him when he got to the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' bit, the groom's brother would stand up to object and they wanted him to pull the gun and shoot him. According to my dad, it was the stupidest request he ever had but it was fun and the crowd loved it."
6. The cranky mother in law silently objected
"My MIL showed up to my wedding in a black funeral type fundamentalist Mormon looking dress in protest. She was supposed to wear purple, silver or teal to match wedding colors and had shown me two outfits she bought in those colors.
But she got mad at me for not letting BIL give the blessing at the rehearsal dinner because I wanted the actual pastor in attendance to do it and threw a fit and threatened not to come to the wedding. She ended up coming but in that funeral dress and frowned in all the wedding pictures and pretty much ruined my wedding."
nonailsdorag
5. Nature's objection
Giphy"I was at an outdoor wedding. During the ceremony we get to the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' bit and during the pause a squirrel had been walking across a tree branch causing it to crack, break, and fall to the floor. It was loud.
I turned to my wife and said 'I guess God is trying to tell us something.' to which I got hit on the arm by her as others around us chuckled. Apparently I said it a little too loudly!
Turned out that squirrel was on to something. They split up after 5 years."
4. The aggressive uninvited guest
"Wasn't necessarily and objection, but a friend of mine was getting married and his fiancées mother wasn't invited. Idk all the details of why but from what I understood she sort of dropped her as a child for a few years then when she heard she was getting married she tried to show up. Anyways the mom and her boyfriend show up and makes a huge scene about how her daughter is getting married and she has a right to be there. She ends up getting pushed down the stairs by security because she was throwing punches at security trying to get into the chapel. It was a crazy experience."
3. A declaration of love
"Ok, my sister and her best friend went to a mutual friend's wedding and they told me this story.
Everything was going normally and the bride walked down the aisle and it was all good. then the officiator asked if anyone had any objections and the best man came forward and just started roasting the bride like he held nothing back. so the groom got really upset and was like 'why are you insulting my wife?' so the best mn answered 'she's not your wife yet' it went back and forth for a bit before the best man shouted, 'I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU DEREK!' the whole place went silent like in a movie. Then the maid of honour dragged the best man away and they continued on with the wedding like nothing happened."
2. This mom didn't hold back
"I was on wedding of my mom's cousin (J). When the guy asked if there was any objections, the mother of J said: i never wanted my daughter to date such a ******* like him. Everyone started whispering and J was holding her tears back. I was something around 11 when that happened, still old enough to understand that J didn't want her mother there. The mother had to leave, and the ceremony continued. After that a went to hug J. She was 20 at the time, really young. She started to tear up while hugging me. Imagine getting married, and your mother would talk **** about your future husband, when she was this young, she seemed to regret going that fast. They are still married, happy and healthy, but if i'm ever gonna get married this is going to be my biggest fear."
1. This very awkward moment
"I got my license to marry people online. It's kinda cool. I was marrying this sweet couple and when I got to 'Does anyone object this marriage?' Someone did. The uncle of the GROOM. He stood up, said he objected because 'I love you more than your girlfriend does! Marry me instead.' It was kinda weird. I am not going to lie."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Insane....
The villain in Hunchback of Notre Dame's whole motivation is that the gypsy girl turned him on and he couldn't have her. Dude had a whole song about being horny and it driving him insane. turnkey85
In the Cup....
GiphyLightning McQueen: "Guys, Doc has three Piston Cups!" Mater: /spittake/ "He did WHUT in his cup?!" 096
Honestly, his schtick became a lot more bearable after learning that Larry the Cable Guy is just a character.
That, and Mater was the best part of that movie. Formaldehyd3
"Anyways I prefer you in leather."
One example I like to use is from Frozen. When Anna is in the sleigh with Christoph he is asking about Prince Hans. One of his questions is "shoe size?" Her response is "shoe size doesn't matter". Mogulzns
In Frozen II Kristoff got dressed as a gentleman for an hour. Anna replied "Anyways I prefer you in leather."
Plus: In my language's translation after that scene happened Olaf said "Wow you've never lasted an hour. I guess everything is possible with love." Toadkiri
ROAR!!!
In inside out there's a scene where disgust says "there are no bears in san francisco!" and anger replies "i saw a really hairy guy, he looked like a bear." lesbrarian666
And then when she's having her San Fran nightmare later on there's a literal bear offering her broccoli pizza. I laugh out loud every time. GreenAndGold115
"come take me"
GiphyThe very blatant "come take me" look Nala gives Simba when they meet back up as adults. AngrySmapdi
Elastics.
Technically Pixar but pretty much all of Syndrome in The Incredibles.
"You married Elastagirl...?" sees the kids "...and got BIZZAY!" SaltySteveD87
I never understood as a kid that Helen thought Bob was cheating on her. As a person who saw my own parents in an unhealthy relationship where it was (now) obvious that my dad was cheating on my mum, watching the incredibles and seeing Helen say goodbye to Bob when he's off to Nomanisan Island (also excellent reference) hurt me so much because I finally realized what she must've been going through.
I'm so disappointed that the sequel wasn't as good, it was alright but nowhere near the writing prowess as the first where its NOT a 'kids' film. It was very much intended to be written for adults, which kids could also watch. Jill4ChrisRed
The Carwash....
In Cars 2, when he's coming out of the bathroom/carwash room thing, Mater warns the other cars about the carwashing anime car lady in the guide video in the stall and says "and when she starts giggling, prepare to be squirted." Mad props to whoever snuck that it in to a kid's movie. therealreptar11
With age comes wisdom...
This one isn't sexual, but Olaf's entire song from Frozen 2 about how "everything will make sense when I get older" as he goes through a bunch of traumatic situations. Kids in the theater were laughing; my friends and I were also laughing, because we knew the punchline. mang0fandang0
"We're your biggest fans."
In Cars. Right after the first race. Mcqueen wins (I think?) Or maybe he ties? Idk. But right after that first race, theres a set of twin girl cars that come up to him and say "We're your biggest fans." And then they flash him. Like they flash their lights at him.
The reason its my favorite is that I just rewatched the movie as an adult and loved all the subtle adult jokes 10yr old me never understood. Also, that hippie van with the "organic oil" or whatever, was definitely high on something for the entire movie. dmartens319
Rescue Me.
GiphyThe fact that they literally added an uncensored picture of breasts for a couple frames in Rescuers Down Under was pretty crazy lmao
Edit: I know they removed it in future editions but it's still amazing that it was in there in the first place.
Edit 2: It was the original Rescuers, not the second one, thank you. u/Vidogo
It was a baked potato.
GiphyIn Monster's University, when they're chasing Fear Tech's mascot through the frat house, there's a background character that looks like a potato sitting on a chair looking high as heck.
It was a baked potato. preu98
Hey Meg....
When Hercules is walking with Meg after their date and he says "And then that play, that Oedipus thing? Man, I thought I had problems!" StarryBloss
Hercules is fun to rewatch cause there's a decent amount of mythology jokes that younger me didn't get. gentlybeepingheart
Another Herc joke was the one where he's talking to the centaur, doesn't know what pronouns to use and looks behind the centaur before saying sir.
Herc was looking at his penis. LittleRedLamps
"laser envy."
When Buzz Lighteryear's wings open after seeing Jessie pull off a cool stunt at the end of Toy Story 2. ZDog64
I just got this when my 3 year old started watching Toy Story this last year. Also in the original when all the toys are going crazy over Buzz's cool features and Woody says his laser is just "a little light bulb that blinks," Mr Potato Head responds that he has "laser envy." There are so many things I've caught or understood better as an adult. Such a great set of movies. threewhiteroses
Oh Bo Peep....
When Bo peep in Toy Story says "Maybe I'll have someone else watch the sheep tonight" (or something like that. And woody gets all excited and says "hehehehehe oh yeah:)))" it's a classic. Tb_Mar58
Earth Moves....
GiphyAladdin and the King of Thieves: "I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon." Cherryblossomlover17
Oh man I distinctly remember that joke as a kid. I remember very clearly knowing I was missing out on a joke, but nobody would explain it to me. Skiliner
Mia & Tia...
My favorite was in Cars right after the first race when Mia and Tia "flashed" Lightning. GeneralGreivou
I like, I don't need headlights because the track is always lit.
So is my brother but he still has headlights. wubbledub
The context is really simple.
In toy story where Woody says "the word I'm searching for I can't say because there is preschool toys present." JustBorde
Upon his "arrival", Buzz wakes up a believes he's in a strange planet. He doesn't realize he's a toy. When he meets Andy's toys, most of them are really impressed with Buzz, except for Woody.
He then tries to reassure them by saying Buzz is just a toy, but Buzz gets stubborn as he truly believes he is a "space ranger" and proceeds to correct Woody about "I think the word you're searching for is space ranger". But Woody replies "the word I'm searching for, I can't say it because there are preschool toys present".
So Woody basically wanted to insult Buzz by calling him an idiot or moron, or some other inappropriate word, unsuited for little kids. Absay
Dumb Bunny....
Zootopia, after blackmailing Nick (recorded him admitting to tax evasion for numerous years) "I may be just a dumb bunny but we are good at multiplying." death_by_osha
The spinning population sign in bunny burrow was the best. Tiger_irl
Swine....
Not NSFW, but one of my favorite lines was in Toy Story when Potato Head switches around his parts to be Picasso and Ham doesn't get it, so Potato Head calls him an uncultured swine. rebookajones
