People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
- psilome
Autoimmune Problems
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
- redditusernamehonked
Living Stress-Free
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
- NimblyUsingAliens
Morning Sickness
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
- fatmanwa
Coercive Marriage
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
- Tygermouse
Self-Respect
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
- Im_not_that_angry
Possible PTSD
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
- LimaZim
Mental Health
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
- BedBoundBean
Turned Away
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
- kwunshel316
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
- TheFleaBagDiary
Double-Standards
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
- RosyAntlers
Feeling Unattractive
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
- carsonArtsome
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
- Korncakes
Unrealistic Expectations
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
- ItsSarahMarie
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.
The longer couples are together, the more creative they have to be to have quality time together.
But quality time isn't always what other people think it will be.
Curious about the deeply intimate moments, Redditor Glittering_Age_9045 asked:
"What do couples do when they shower together?"
Personal Care
"I have disabilities that make standing for more than 60 seconds (especially in a hot, humid environment like a shower) very painful for me, so my husband showers with me to help me get clean."
"He washes my hair, scrubs me down, and makes sure I'm all taken care of. Do sexy things happen?? Occasionally, but for us, showering together is an act of deep love and care. I appreciate him endlessly for it."
- v_4_valhalla
Greatest Form of Intimacy
"This is what showers and baths turned into for me and my husband as he approached the end. During our last shower together, I shaved his facial hair for him, and it was just very intimate. I knew I had to cherish that moment, even though I didn't know it would be the last one."
"We'd always joked to each other that washing each other's hair is the greatest form of intimacy (quote from 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'), even way before he got sick, but it really was true."
"Oops, now I'm tearing up at work!"
"We were both 30 when he passed, only four months ago. F**k cancer!"
- go-with-the-flo
Romantic Jokes
"One says, 'This is so romantic,' while the other nods and shivers."
- churchin222999111
Support System
"I bought a shower chair, because if I'm gonna freeze, I'm gonna be comfortable. Then I bought a shower head with a stationary head AND an extended one."
"We talk about stuff, we play, we laugh, everything. It started during the pandemic when I was extremely depressed. I'd take a shower to cry away from the kids. Then he'd start taking them with me at night and just hold me while I cried."
"Now our showers are much happier."
- ThrowMeAway_8844
How the Time Flies
"I awkwardly wait there while waiting for my girl to finish with her hair."
- BurningRoast
Water Temperature Disagreements
"My husband pretty much boils himself, it's crazy, and then he calls my regular warm water 'ice cold.' I love showering together but I do wish he would be a bit less of a hot water person."
- OddCupofTea
Define "Hot"
"My husband walked in on me taking a bath the other night and the first thing he said was, 'Woah. It's super hot in here,' to which I, of course, replied, 'It isn't even that warm."
- AnnieBannieFoFannie
Hot Girl Problem
"You take your first shower together, and you realize your girlfriend is actually the spawn of Satan and connects with her homeland through the boiling of her own flesh until her mask has been washed away and her skin is as red as the devil himself."
"A milestone in every relationship."
- Anymonimous
Shower Jokes
"Spin in circles, making silly noises, while the other person says, 'Rotisserie chicken!'"
- GastontheBeast
Unique Shower Set-Ups
"We have two shower heads. It is great. And seats built into each side. Came with the house."
"It is glorious to be able to sit down and relax with one shower running over your head and back while the second shower keeps your front and legs warm."
"But you run out of hot water twice as fast. SIGH. And every kid in the house insists on using the ensuite cause the shower is “better.” Can’t really disagree with their logic, to be fair."
- stiletto929
Taking Turns
"Shuffle round and round, taking turns to be cold and warm like f**king penguins."
- Defiant_Hawk_9892
Enjoying Each Other's Company
"10 years together, married a year, and lived together for about six years. We always shower together, and that’s where we catch up on each other's day, vent, or just talk and enjoy each other's company."
- doggiechewtoy
Good Memories
"Shower conversations are the best. My ex and I would end up just holding each other under the running water, talking about bills or plans or some such nonsense. I miss that. It was incredibly cathartic."
- saintlyknighted
Married Routine
"My husband and I shower together every single day. It's not even sexual or romantic, it's literally for hygienic reasons. We started showering together when we were dating and it never stopped."
"Even when we're fighting, which forces us to talk about the issue. It's kind of nice being trapped in a small area with no other distractions."
- redwhiteandchill
Good Conversations
"This made me remember the time my husband and I spent half an hour in the shower discussing whether or not lobsters are sentient."
- kincaidinator12
While many people may think of two people to get into a shower together for far more intimate activities, these couples might argue that their showers together are already intimate enough. All aspects of a couple's relationship are important, but it's nice to set aside time specifically to talk and reconnect.
People Reveal The Most Intimate Moment They Have Ever Shared With A Complete Stranger
Sometimes all we need is a hug, a kind word, or just a simple smile. And no matter how much love and support we have from our inner circles it can be easier to find comfort in a stranger. With strangers there is no expectation. They don't know how to help you because they don't know you so all they can do is just be there. On the lighter side, life is filled with moments we all share just as humans. We connect in a dance, in a laugh or a wink to commemorate just living in one particular moment... and it's beautiful.
Redditor u/Pielef wanted everyone to share the moments they've experienced with people they've only just met by asking.... What's the most intimate moment you've had with a complete stranger?