Redditor Turbulent-Ad-7862 wanted to hear about everyone's thoughts on the first person they had sex with, so they asked:
"How do you feel towards the person you lost your virginity to? Do you still remember them?"
Oh... the first.
I have two. (Not at the same time).
One of each gender.
Still care deeply about both.
HER
Happy Its Me GIF by Kiaundra JacksonGiphy"Pretty sure she was the one who got away, but we dated in high school and she moved away before our relationship could find a conclusion. At this point, it's probably just nostalgia... lol."
Dewey_Bosh
Oh Them
"I don’t feel one way or another. I haven’t seen her in over 20 years or so. I haven’t thought about her in years until this post."
1980pzx
15~ years for me and exactly the same. This post reminded me of her and honestly, I hope she’s doing well. A quick Facebook search shows she married the guy she dated after me and they had a kid. That’s wonderful and I’m glad for her."
UncoolSlicedBread
"Same situation for me, only it has been more like 10 years instead of 20! I actually almost forgot about the guy until I saw this post, lol."
MsSibylline
Best Of...
"Well on the 'hot/crazy' matrix she was firmly in the top right-hand corner lol. So I remember her very vividly, the sex is still some of the best that I've ever had. Luckily I had some older and wiser friends who kind of dragged me out of that relationship. For which I am very grateful. I have no idea what became of her, and I don't particularly care. :-) "
BeerPoweredNonsense
Better than me...
"I miss her, to be honest. She was fun, fiercely intelligent, and far too good for me. It was humbling being completely ill-equipped to argue with her, but fun to watch her demolish adults in debate and run rings around them in conversation. It’s been 22 years since I last saw her, 17 since we last communicated by email. She has a family of her own now and inevitably was an enormous success in her career."
Prudent-Earth-1919
Still Strong...
just married love GIFGiphy"I've been with her for 10 years and I hope to still be with her for another 60 or so."
Caractacutetus
"I mean, we've been married for 15 years and have 5 kids. I guess she's OK."
aroundincircles
It's amazing that people can make it work for life.
It gives me hope.
Though I'll stay a cynic.
Why Not?
Snl Queen GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Oofta, I do remember them. But it’s not a romantic story at all. I was caught up in the 'everyone is doing it, better get it over with' and I lost it to a stranger at 15. He was also 15 and it was his first time. 😩 "
Ashley0716
So far, so good...
"Pretty damn good. It's only been a few months but I'm totally into him and (despite his self-proclaimed aversion to relationships) he pushed to be exclusive and he's texting on an almost daily basis wanting to get together. As for how I feel, 50% horny, 40% happy, and 10% anxious sums it up well."
_eviehalboro
Memories
"It was my high school girlfriend. I ended up breaking up with her. We hooked up again about 6 months after the breakup. Just casual sex. No labels. Ended up going to different colleges in the same city. Hooked up and went on some dates during our freshman year. Still no labels."
"Eventually she basically gave me an ultimatum. Said she emotionally couldn’t do the casual thing any more. Basically, we get back together for real or we go our separate ways. I wasn’t willing to get back together, but I respected her decision and didn’t want to toy with her feelings. She wanted to be together, and I knew that any kind of just treating her like a normal friend would have only given her hope. So I basically just cut out all communication."
"That’s been 8-9 years ago now. She seems to be doing well. Just recently got engaged. She was a good girl, and I’m happy for her. Wish it didn’t have to end as it did because she was cool and I liked spending time with her. But it would have been selfish and emotionally manipulative to do anything besides cut off communication as I did. I have nothing but fond memories of her. I hope she’d say the same of me."
ShitfacedGrizzlyBear
17
"He was a friend I met during a school theatrical production. I was 17, I told my dad I was staying back at school to do assignments and then hiked it to his place. His father nearly caught us. He’s a good person and has come so far. He was addicted to prescription meds for a long while. I won’t ever forget him and I hope he’s doing well since coming off that sh*t. :) "
OttersAndOttersAndOt
Ugh... HER
Angry Fed Up GIFGiphy"I still remember her, but I hate her guts now. She ended up cheating on me, and then thought it would be alright to still be friends after."
Ghoulthrower676
The one person we can't ever forget.
Good or bad experience... that first time and person stays with us.
Redditor red_darrow99 sought answers from strangers online and asked:
"People with sex drives way higher than their partners…How do you handle it?"
Like with many issues in a relationship, it all starts with being communicative to resolve them.
Let's Talk
"I have a relatively high sex drive, but my new partner has a lot more than I do, so for the first time I've had to say sorry, not feeling it, I felt like I failed her."
"But I communicated it to her and she understood and I think that's as healthy as it gets."
– Elijah_Wouldnt
Identifying The Conflict
"We talk about it and don’t play games about it. Neither one of us are embarrassed. I (f) have the higher drive than he does and he is very physically affectionate and lovey but there’s no mixed signals. I admit when we were first together, rejection didn’t feel great but I find that really talking with him openly and looking at this from an 'us vs the problem' instead of a 'me vs him' problem is something we are strong with."
":It’s easy to feel like it’s you versus your partner, especially with a bit of a bruised ego (which is fair to have). I learned to enjoy the cuddling and touching and kissing but really pay attention to the signs he gives. There are some things he will only do if he seems like there could be a chance for him to get into the mood."
– pwrflwor
Full Transparency
"Absolutely this. It's all about transparency, but I think you need to have this level of transparency very early on in the relationship, otherwise these kind of future problems can be very difficult to navigate. Talk to your partner. Be open and honest early on in any relationship."
– Digitek50
Some Redditors found a solution.
Relieving The Tension
"I’ve read that some people use sex to ease tensions in their life (me). Other people need to have tensions eased BEFORE having sex (my wife). So what I have been doing is easing those tensions for my wife before initiating such as cleaning, laundry, dishes, bills, etc. It eases her mind and makes it easier for her to get in the mood. Also, its good for our relationship anyway. That’s my advice. No guarantee that it will work, but it helps in my case!"
– nimrod823
There's Always The Consolation Prize
"You take matters into your own hands."
– sm12511
Reading Erotica
"If she likes to read tell her to start reading smutty novels. Holy f'king sh*t."
"My wife and I have been together 20+ years. Super high sex drives for first 15 years for both of us, basically until kids."
"Then her drive just dipped pretty low. Then she started reading these books and sometimes I can't even keep up."
"I read one of them and it's ridiculous. I don't get it, story sucked, writing sucked, but it definitely put me in the mood. And her too."
"She doesn't like to watch porn and life as a mom / worker / wife is just stressful. Reading is relaxing. Reading puts her in the mood while relaxing. Win win."
– bNoaht
Understanding His Perspective
"I never try to force my boyfriend or beg him to have sex. We just chill, and he initiates if he is actually in the mood cause lord knows I am always ready LOL. Otherwise, I take care of myself."
"It definitely hasn't been easy. I am like a once everyday kind of person minimum. My boyfriend is a once every couple of months, maybe. If he's really stressed out at work it can be a while. I felt very rejected at first and unattractive. But I had to understand it from his perspective. To him, it's not important and when you're stressed unimportant things go on the back burner. For me, it's a stress reliever so the more stressed I am the more I want it. Just like when someone people are depressed they eat, but when other people are depressed they'll starve themselves. Everyone is different."
– BysshePls
People continued sharing their experiences.
Check The Testosterone Level
"My wife has had the same issue. She wants to be more intimate, but it doesn’t come naturally, and I’m very sensitive to her feelings. One thing to check is her testosterone level. Women actually need a healthy testosterone level for procreation, and it can be suppressed by a number of reasons. For us, it was breastfeeding."
– brentnic
It's Not Personal...Sometimes
"It's frustrating and disheartening. I have to work really hard not to take it personally or as a sign that he's not attracted to me. I don't initiate at all anymore because the rejection really hurts."
– placentacasserole
Long Drought
"The beginning of our relationship was filled daily with it. 7 years later and we go 10+months between each time. I'm not handling it I'm slowly breaking.."
– CyberMech96
Marriage Might Not Be The Right Answer
"I have a high sex drive, I am very affectionate, and I create opportunities for intimacy. My fiancé is now the exact opposite, coming up on a year of communicating my needs and feelings with no feedback other than 'just not interested or not feeling it' then she goes back to her phone (little world). It’s clearly depression. A year of pecks on the cheek for kisses, and that’s it."
"I’ve asked, pleaded, and begged for her to call a Dr. To seek some help. But it’s just been excuse after excuse."
"I do love her. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me. I can’t force her to seek help when she doesn’t feel there’s an issue."
"I can feel resentment growing as I debate whether I’d be happier just with a dog in my life. At least then I’d have another being wanting to go for a walk with me and spend time with me."
– ohp250
Ignoring the problem won't make it go away.
Have those hard conversations and find solutions or make compromises together.
That's if the relationship is important to you.