Trauma. Such a simple word. A simple word shrouded in so much difficulty and pain. When trauma goes ignored and untreated, it festers and grows into many manifestations. One dark manifestation is depression. Everyone, and I do mean everyone at one time or another has suffered from depression. It's unfortunate that there is still such stigma attached to it. Right now the world is in a collective depression and often it's impossible to finds ways to cope.Redditor u/Lainnnn wanted to see who would be willing to share with the world some ways to stay motivated, in the darkness by asking... Depressed people, how do you motivate yourself to do things, even small tasks? [Serious]
Many people have always suffered from seasonal trauma so this time of year can often be more difficult and this follows the darkness that can mar the holidays. I've had depression all of my life. Mine has nothing to do with a time of year, just everyday in and of itself. Sometimes it conquers me but often I've turned the tables. One breath at a time. They following people seem to understand my method.
Bot Movementmaywa denki robot GIFGiphy
I pretend that I'm a robot to do very small singular tasks at a time. I really get myself into the mindset that my own motivation doesn't matter at all.
I have found a way to trick me into doing stuff: If I'm lying on the couch, basically feeling like complete crap but I know I should rather go buy groceries and cook a meal I tell myself: I'm going to feel like crap no matter what. If I continue lying here, I'll feel like crap, if I go buy groceries and cook, I'll feel like crap. The only difference is that doing stuff and being active will probably help me long term.
So if I'll feel crappy no matter what, I might as well do the thing that will help make me feel better eventually. It kinda helps me to deal with the crappy feeling and I can get myself to do the stuff I should be doing. Doesn't work all the time but often enough.
Today I skipped class and just stayed in the shower. And since I was in there anyway I slowly picked up shampoo, slowly washed my hair, etc and just kept moving through my regular wash day routine as if I didn't have somewhere to be. It needed to be done and I knew I'd feel a little better and like I accomplished something.
Simple FirstChill Yoga GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy
If something is worth doing, it's worth doing poorly.
A perfect example is brushing your teeth: Haven't brushed your teeth in months? Just go to the sink, stick the toothbrush in your mouth, and scrub for a few seconds. Don't aim for perfection, just give it a half-assed attempt for 5 seconds.
You'll start to build a habit of brushing, and you'll start to brush better every time.
And also, do things one step at a time. Getting out of bed does not equal you needing to clean the entire house, but maybe that coffee table needs to be tidied up a bit? Maybe toss the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but it doesn't need to be run today.
Point is, you're doing things that have positive rewards to them. You'll start to see those rewards as something you want more of. Eventually, cleaning will become less and less of a chore, and more about keeping the things you have clean and nice looking because you actually like them.
Wallowing in bed really is counterproductive, but wallowing in bed one day isn't something to beat yourself up over. Learn to forgive yourself and keep reminding yourself that bad days are ok to have.
Things are going to get better.
It's amazing how many of us are walking through each day with the similar weight holding us down and rummaging through our psyches. At this the internet allows us to talk with a little anonymity. For those of you who can't afford therapy just yet or are too bashful, save this thread, I think you'll find many of these suggestions useful. For instance...
Minimal Waystrying to calm down season 1 GIF by Gilmore Girls Giphy
Another thing for me - is minimize things you are responsible for. If you have a hard time keeping things clean - it is easier with less things.
I just had to do a huge skincare/makeup purge and I had been holding onto expired things and feeling guilty about the money I spent. I forgave myself and threw it all out and then treated myself to the replacements. I'd rather spend more on things I care for and enjoy than have lots of mediocre stuff.
Celebrating the little things. I'm currently trying to do "five a day", and to nondepressives, they probably seem tiny but to me they are huge.
Like today I got showered, got dressed, made a lunch from scratch, went for a walk and put some laundry in the washer (bonus point, its hung up too!). Whoo, successful day!
Do the Dishes
I honestly just try to make the next hour, next few minutes, whatever amount of time, better for my future self. Lots of "I'll be glad I did this" even simple things like cleaning ONE mug at night so I don't have to clean it for coffee & don't feel SUPER pressured to just do all the dishes right when I wake up.
I play 'medieval peasant' so I have to physically react like a medieval peasant to everything in my house that I use.
Use an electric toothbrush? I have to wonder at the magic. Clean running water? I have to shriek in joy, now I won't get the plague! Food in the fridge? Oh my life is bountiful! Automatic lights in the building? Ah!
The light knoweth when I doth move!!! Plants on the windowsill? They must be thirsty have a drink, oh my what a beautiful pot this must be sorcery!
People look at you like you're crazy but the confusion on their faces is worth it and medieval me is very pleased with my life.
I have a little mason jar, everytime I do something, exp; eat breakfast, take a walk. I add a dinosaur to a jar, I also use this for self harm as well, if I haven't hurt myself in a week, I get to add in some dinosaurs. It makes me super happy when I drop in a dinosaur and hear it * clunk * together with the other ones.
Faith and...scared season 1 GIF by The White PrincessGiphy
Hope. That some day it's all gonna be worth it and you might thank yourself for not giving up today.
This is all a lot to process. But it's a good process. Process in and of itself helps me and keeps me moving forward. Remember the only way is through, not over. Trying to always get over will only ever lead you back. So come back here and reread and go look up Brené Brown. You're welcome.
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We all have that one teacher who made an indelible impression on us – good or bad – because of one particular thing they did.
There are two moments that stand out for me.
I remember being in theater class and my professor had all the students share their aspirations within the entertainment industry.
At the time, I was sure I wanted to be a comedian. So when I shared that info, the professor flat out said, "I just don't see that for you."
His bitter prognostication was actually accurate. I never did land a stand-up gig at the Comedy Store or the Punch Line; but I did go on to have a steady career in theater.
Another time, my gym teacher at my Japanese school intimidatingly asked 13-year-old me if I was a "homo." I guess my fierce warmup exercises to imaginary music raised a red flag, prompting her to make sure I "butch" up my perceivably flamboyant moves.
I remember being absolutely mortified at her audacity, and I may have clutched my invisible pearls in shock.
Looking back – boy, did she nail that assumption.
Curious to hear the experience of strangers online, Redditor xtra_why asked:
Bless Mrs. Jones
"3rd grade-Mrs Jones. My dad had just deserted us and we were suddenly destitute. She bought my school pictures for us and paid my lunch bill all year. She never said a word about it. Only found out later. Bless her"
The Stupid Lesson
"I called somebody stupid once when they got a question wrong and the teacher instantly made me stand up and spell 'stupid' backwards. Got it wrong with the pressure and learnt a lesson that day."
Remembered Six Years Later
"The professor I had for my calculus 100 class in university was awesome. He was a good teacher and funny and engaging. If it was a first year class with over 100 people in it. I was just a face in a big crowd. I was on campus after hours a couple years after I graduated (they run programs for kids in the evenings and was dropping off my oldest) and I saw him. He stopped, looked at me hard, and said '<first name> <last name>. Not a bad student. Not great. But definitely not bad.' And kept walking. This was a good 6 years after I graduated. Absolutely amazed he would have remembered me at all after teaching how many hundreds of students in between. That is just crazy."
Toys For Punishment
"I can't remember what I did but in first grade my teacher got mad at me and said 'you wanna act like a baby? Fine come over here.' She made me sit in a corner on the floor and gave me two little toys to play with."
That Thing You Do
"Had 10 minutes to spare before lunch bell and he told us all to 'go jerk off or whatever it is you do.' I don't know what he wanted to say and he apologized to us, but it was funny as hell."
"Sometimes you forget to use your teacher persona. I once had a student tell me that she would be working on Christmas Day (at McDonald's). She was excited to get the holiday pay rate."
"I forgot myself for a second and told her, 'Make that money, girl. Don't let it make you.'"
"In case you're wondering, that's essentially the tag for the movie 'The Player's Club,' a rated R film from the 90s that every Black child (including myself) has seen, but had no business watching."
The Extra Mile
"She took every phone call no matter the time of night while I was in rehab. If it wasn't for her being there in my lowest time, I probably would not be here today."
"in my senior year, my english teacher asked me if i was manic depressive after turning in a personal essay, only for me to get diagnosed with bipolar disorder a week later."
"Told me I was smart and could succeed. I had spent the past couple years at a private school, trying so hard to prove myself. Despite doing well academically, I didn't fit their cookie cutter mold, so I was looked down on by other students and administration. When I told the guidance counselor that I wanted to be premed and go to medical school after college, she pretty much told to lower my expectations because I wouldn't succeed. At the end of my college math class my senior year of high school, I ended up in my professors office to look at what I had missed on my final. He told me that I had done well, and that I could my PhD in math if I wanted. That was not what I wanted to do, but when I told him I wanted to be premed, he looked at me and said you're going to well in that. I know you will succeed. 6 years later and I'm halfway through my second year of medical school, and his words still ring in my mind."
Cool Art Teacher
"Had a highschool art teacher who would let me stay in his classroom during lunches. Always gave me half his sandwich and other extra food because he knew I didn't eat much otherwise."
The Harsh Truth
"I was anorexic when I was in school. She took me aside after class and told me that if I didn't stop doing what I was doing to myself I was going to die. That my body was going to start shutting down, my organs would fail, that it would not be beautiful and I was going to die an awful and painful death."
In the last several months people have been flooding the internet flaunting all they've accomplished while trapped in quarantine. Everyone seems to have either acquired a new hobby or become proficient in the one they had. And its always fascinating to find out how people fall into their time fillers. Heck, maybe we should all start something new and take notes, a ton of the people started with a small hobby to just steady their nerves and turned it into a million dollar business. Someone bring me some knitting needles.Redditor u/lesothoqueen was fascinated by the ways everyone was inspired to fulfill their empty hours by asking aloud.... What got you interested in your hobby?
Caliente...salma hayek dancing GIFGiphy
I started r/SalsaSnobs , which began from a trip to Mexico. I realized that most salsa in the USA is inferior. I was going to have to learn how to make my own.
Pretty much all the time the food is better at the source, the thing is making salsa isn't much of a regular or traditional thing in most western/English speaking nations. If you go to where it originated, its always better.
All the Buzzzz.....
I was teaching my daughter how to make jam from fresh fruits and was dismayed at how much sugar I was using. Did a little research and found out I can cut my sweetener in half by using honey.
Did a little more research into honey and realized keeping bees complimented by "mini homestead" and suddenly... I am a beekeeper!
Through the Music....
I was a weirdo through elementary and middle school and got treated like crap by all my classmates. Found punk rock in 7th grade and realized there were a bunch of other weirdos out there who found a home, so I started a band and discovered I didn't need anyone else's approval for who I was. That was 20 years ago and now I play in bands and write songs and don't suffer these insecurities of not being cool enough anymore.
Yeehaw!cat horse GIFGiphy
My bad knee. I love going fast and feeling the wind in my hair, however i could never run safely. So I started riding horses. Been doing it for over half my life now.
My wife recently got into quilting. After watching her work, there's something extremely satisfying about making precise straight cuts and fitting pieces together to create something larger.
That said, I am far too macho to start quilting so instead I picked up leather craft. That way I can satisfy my need for creating something while also not jeopardizing my fragile masculinity.
A Whole New World.....
I started world building (writing a world and a story around it) after two small events.
First, I had this really cool dream where I was playing as this grey, horned character who held two enchanted swords fighting against people who looked like this man. Just a sea of grey horned soldiers fighting a war and attacking me.
Second I began to think about what my "ideal," Hell would be. I recalled the stories of Hell being a disorderly place and having seven princes that each ruled over a sin. Put two and two together and I'm thinking about people who are forced into kingdoms with unending wars for supreme power over all.
The Midnight Sky....
I went to the dark sky reserve in Idaho and was flabbergasted at the number of stars, the infinite depth, and the visibility for the Milky Way (I'm a city girl). When I got home, I started searching for pictures and was exposed to night sky photography. I couldn't believe how people were able to capture the majesty, and I knew I had to take those pictures myself. I just went back to Idaho this summer to take my first Milky Way photos!
the scroll....computer GIFGiphy
Scrolling through reddit, and posting random comments on random posts, so strangers can read them and go "well that was strange" and then move on with their day.
All the Colors....
I had a party at my house and some artists showed up with some supplies. During the party they sat outside and would occasionally corral guests into painting a few lines. At the end of the party I had an interesting bit of art, which I still have to this day. I thought that it would be relaxing to paint. Turns out I was right. Eight years later and I've developed an adult hobby that will hopefully improve with time... plus, I REALLY enjoy it.
Wish I knew who those people were so I could thank them.
Amazing....shia labeouf flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
I liked the art on Magic: The Gathering cards as a kid and just kept collecting them. Then, in high school, I saw some people playing and I was like "I have some of those!" So I got them to teach me. Been playing ever since.
After being taught how to write properly my mother taught me how to draw but it wasn't until the show chalk zone that made me wanna expand my love for drawing and imagination.
The DebateListen To Me Shut Up GIF by Creative CourageGiphy
Researching and debating flat earthers led me to researching more and more about space, and so now I'm an avid astronomer, and I love learning about stars, nebula and planets.
Youtube videos. I had seen tons of downhill mountain bike videos and my friends were starting to get into mountain biking and wanted me to go, for months I declined and said I would go with them if they tried a downhill park. We went one time and that was it, I was hooked.
Me visiting my great grandpa, here would always be in his garage making gun barrels, ammo. He would always show me his guns and how to handle them. Now since he passed I inherited them and shooting is one of my main hobbies.
HobbiesChilling Video Games GIF by DC ComicsGiphy
Depends on the hobby. I got into blacksmithing because of videogames. I got into videogames cause I grew up in the 80's & 90's.
With the boys....
I was 14 and my older brother had bought a CB 500 with a blown motor. He hadn't done anything with it in a year so my dad told me if I could get it running I could ride it.
Tore the entire thing apart and rebuilt it with some help from dad. Rode it for years. Sold it to buy a CBR 600 RR which I regret now but the places that CBR took me.
I also grew up in the garage with all my brothers and dad. I think we probably spent more time there than in the house.
8 years old:
Dadida, dadidadida, mashing piano keys... Oh what's that
12 years old
Wait, i can play (insert Favorite song) with this?!? I gotta try that.
14 years old
Hey, wait, i can actually play anything on this!!! Omg!!! I'll Start practicing!
6 years wasted, but i eventually did it.
Now i play anything from moonlight sonata to allstar.
For me its building scale models. A Model Building video popped up in my YouTube feed. I watched it, and the guy doing it was incredible. I immediately wanted to try it. Cut to a year later and I have a couple airbrushes and tons of paints and weathering products.
I was watching someone draw at school in fourth grade, I wanted to free hand but sucked. So i traced, then started copying it but not tracing, then i decided to free hand. Im not the best but i can do some decent stuff.
I actually want to start drawing to express myself in a way. But my mind refuses it due to trying to achieve "Perfection". It's like avoiding drawing, as it won't be any good either way. Sounds stupid, I know...
BBQ StyleBbq Barbecue GIF by swerkGiphy
I live in Texas but was raised on Memphis style BBQ. I could never find a pulled pork sandwich that was worth eating where I live. Halfway through quarantine lifestyle I finally bought a smoker so I can make BBQ the way I like it. It's been great spending time outside and learning different BBQ styles and techniques.
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Music is an essential part of our beings. Having a soundtrack to our lives helps us mark turning points and eras that changed us forever. And its always fascinating to know the "behind the scenes" to every piece of musical inspiration. Some artists are not shy about the backstory--just look up the love lives of Fleetwood Mac--and some are more evasive. And once we all get into the truth the music tends to resonate even deeper.Redditor u/blueberriebelle wanted to discuss all the truth that has been revealed for the inspiration behind some the world's best music by asking.... What songs have a really crazy backstory that changed your perception of the song when you found out?
Sara.baking sara bareilles GIF by Waitress The MusicalGiphy
Sara Bareilles "Love Song" was actually written for her record company when they told her she wouldn't be successful without a hit love song on her album.
Came her hoping to see this one. Another in a similar vein is George Michael's Freedom '90 -a giant Mess You to Sony.
One by Metallica is based on a novel written by Dalton Trumbo. The novel is about a soldier who loses his sight, hearing, language, arms and legs on the battlefield through a landmine. He wishes to die but cannot express this because of his injuries. He asks for help but no one can hear him.
Based off the movie/book "Johnny Get Your Gun". Even showed in the original video. I think the movie should be watched by everyone just to know the importance of a "living will". (even though I'm pretty sure, in the book, they didn't know who he was anyway, so it may not have mattered?)
Edit: Thank you /u/trudenter... it's "Jonny Got His Gun". My bad, all >.<
Not a Good Time.Rob Thomas Push GIF by Matchbox TwentyGiphy
Matchbox20 3AM is about his relationship with his mom. I thought it was this song about a girl friend who was endearing in her dark view of the world. Its worse since its his mom.
The VH1 Storytellers clip of this song includes an explanation and the performance brings the crowd to tears. Like many hit 90s singles, the upbeat nature of the recorded arrangement really veil the lyrics. Counting Crows "Mr. Jones" is similar. It's on YouTube, check it out!
"where do we go now"
Sweet Child O' Mine was thrown together in a few minutes and the "where do we go now" part was improvised because they literally had no ideas where the song went. The song main riff was Slash's hand warmer and the lyrics were a poem Axl had lying around.
The iconic riff in Sweet Child O' Mine was written because Slash wanted to create something that kinda sounded like an ice cream truck.
"Save the Last Dance For Me" The songwriter, Doc Pomus, had polio and he married a woman who was a professional actress and dancer. Supposedly he wrote it after watching her dance with other people on their wedding day because he couldn't dance with her properly. Learning that took was was just a sweet song and made it nearly heart wrenching.
Also Alive, is semi-autobiographical by Eddie Vedder. He was raised to believe his step-father was his biological father and had actually met his biological father several times throughout his life, introduced to him as his mother's "friend," but Eddie didn't learn the truth until his biological father died which messed up his worldview.
I assume (hope) the verse about his mother coming onto him is fiction.
American Woman was accidentally created by The Guess Who. The singer was trading records with a collector in a parking lot and he heard the band tuning up and panicked thinking they started without him. He ran up, realized the mistake and started improvising. The band joined in. They found a bootleg later on and decided that their mistake sounded pretty cool.
Not that it's crazy, and the song is clearly about someone facing depression, but Rise Above this by Seether was written by Shaun Morgan for his then depressed brother. Before the song was released, his brother took his life. When the band recorded the music video, it took several attempts because Shaun Morgan kept sobbing. I enjoyed the song before learning that, but now it's difficult to not get sad every time I think about it.
Smile in the face of adversitymusic video 90s GIFGiphy
R.E.M. - Shiny Happy People
The title of the track actually comes from the translation of a Chinese propaganda poster from the era of Chairman Mao which read, "Shiny happy people holding hands."
Less than a year before the band wrote the song, in 1989, the Tiananmen Square protests occurred, and it is estimated that around 2,600 pro-democracy protesters were killed by government troops. This event had a huge impact on the band and inspired the song, which was finally released in 1991.
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Inspiration can come in a ton of forms, but whether it's a song, a statement, a poster, or whatever - it's important to deliver that inspirational message clearly and quickly. That's where some of us have a problem. I was born longwinded and was totally that kid you asked to help you pad a word count for an essay in class. So if you're looking for me to inspire you, expect a 15 minute TED talk and slideshow presentation. But, as that oh-so-appropriate saying goes, Keep It Simple, Stupid. The bits that people tend to remember are smaller and easier to digest tidbits of wisdom. There's just something profound about simplicity.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most profound statement you've heard, that is extremely simple and uncomplicated yet helped you the most in life?
And yeah I could have written a 5 page essay based around any of these statements. Seriously I'm baffled at how people do this. Here are some of the shortest, sweetest, most profound responses.
Not A BoyGiphy
My daughter was about 2. She wanted me to play barbie dolls with her. I said I don't want to play barbie, I'm a boy. Her response was very wise and profound for her age.
"You're not a boy, you're a daddy."
I now play many things with her and let her do my nails.
Recently I heard someone say, "Exercise because you love your body, not because you hate your body." I've been exercising and eating healthy for a long time but I definitely struggle with body dysmorphia and hearing that kind of made me realize that I should change the way I think about things.
Along those lines I heard someone say, "exercise is a celebration of what you can do, not a punishment for what you ate." I kinda dig it and I hate most all get motivated stuff.
From AA: "Your rock-bottom is whatever point you decided to put down the shovel and quit digging."
You Deserve It
You deserve what you tolerate.
Never half-ass 2 things. Whole ass 1 thing instead.
Slow = FastGiphy
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
I've got ER/ICU nurse background, so it's easy in both areas of practice to get overwhelmed with the endless tasks. this helped me to remember I knew how to prioritize, and to do the things I needed safely to get on to the next one. totally helped relieve a lot of anxiety for me.
Stop saying "I don't have time to do this" and start saying "I am prioritizing thing x over thing y."
For instance, it's not that I don't have time to go for a run, it's that I am prioritizing watching an hour of TV over my health. Changes my thoughts about whether I go for that run or not...
We accept the love we think we deserve. Made me realize I put up with my abusive ex's disrespect because I didn't respect myself. I made gaining some self worth priority number one.
Care And ControlGiphy
"Why do you care?"
Huh. Wow. I don't.
Sometimes that goes along with, "What control do you have (over x y z)?"
Until You Don't
"Do what you want, until you don't, then do something else" -My boyfriend to me when we were deciding to be exclusive. We wanted to be together and agreed to date each other until we didn't want to anymore. Going three years strong now.But it applies to a lot of things!
An old manager from my time at a gas station use to say this and I've stuck by it since.
"Work smarter, not harder."
Harder Better Faster Stronger! DustinDirt
"Never argue with someone who is so committed to misunderstanding you!"
I stop many debates with ppl due to this. As soon as I realize things are going nowhere (normally quickly into a debate) I zone so far out because I don't want to convince anyone of my opinion. I have mine. They have there's. Mrst0530
~In the NOW!~
Live in the moment. When you spend time worrying about the past, you get depressed over things you didn't do. When you spend time worrying about the future you get anxious over what might happen. But when you live in the moment you quickly learn it's usually good and even when it's not good you know that moment will pass. This philosophy has changed my life. Tazi752000
"All you got is time, then you die."
Said to me by my father after I said I didn't mind working for less money than I'm worth because I have the time. lordrad
It's in the delivery...Giphy
My grandmother told me "Don't freak out until there is a reason to freak out." Something about the way she said it calmed me down and made me stop and think of what I was anxious about was worth it. WeirdAbbott
Never be idle...
While making idle chitchat I made a comment about trying to avoid things that are inconvenient. My conversational partner said "Everything is inconvenient in some way." I try to carry that thought with me, because some things are worth doing even though they're inconvenient, and I realized I was making excuses not to do things that I needed to. Narahiel
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. GeebusNZ
Make good mistakes. rosekathlyn
If you want to be happy in the future, find a way to be happy presently. pencilpasta
I hear you Jamie!Giphy
"What's on the other side of fear? Nothing." - Jaime Foxx, during a Tim Ferris interview. roserouge
When i was a kid my dad always used to say something to the effect of "no matter what happens, the sun is always going to set and then rise the next day." As someone who deals with a lot of anxiety, it's always a bit comforting to recognize that no matter how bad a day seems, it's eventually going to be over. no matter how scared you are for a certain test or interview, eventually that test or interview is going to be taken. raven_needles
Always a choice...
You may not be able to choose the circumstances in which you do something, but you can still make the choice to do something.
Sounds a little weird out of context, but the idea is that circumstances are never ideal. I was climbing with a buddy and we were supposed to meet some friends in town for dinner. Our campsite was in the opposite direction so we didn't have time to go back and clean up. I was fretting because I was dirty and sweaty, but he laid that nugget of insight on me. It made me realize that I would rather go to dinner with our friends despite my scruffiness than miss out on a jovial evening with them. InBellows