Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:
"How did you use to think babies were made?"
So Random
Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."
cb1216
The Egg
"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"
"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."
sneekeemonkee
Home Invasion
"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."
"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."
"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."
millennium-popsicle
Hold Me
"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."
Old_Army90
Born That Way
Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."
ChemicalAd1157
Kids. We were so innocent at one time.
Born that way. Cute thought.
Delivery
"Babies are made at a baby factory."
Kotopause
"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."
MadOrange64
Saliva
"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."
Djent_Reznor1
The Seed
"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."
"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."
spidermom4
Good Faith
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."
asn-grl
"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."
HumanHuman_2003
Prayer can only do so much.
But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.
Redditor notViperX was curious to hear all the things people believed every modern teenager needs to know, leading them to ask:
"Adults of Reddit, what is something every Teenager needs to know?"
No Means No!
"It's ok to say no to anyone."
"Don't let anyone in your life guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do or are uncomfortable with."- Purpleraven01
What Constitutes Being "Cool" Is Debatable...
"It's exactly as lame to not do something you want to do because it's too mainstream or popular as it is to do something only because it's cool and the cool kids are doing it."- itsacalamity
Pay Attention in Gym And Spanish Class!
"Learn a second language."
"It's good for your brain, and it's a lot easier when you're young."
"Get active and fit; make it a habit."
"This is one of the most important ways to stave off cognitive decline as you get older."
"Plus, it's great for managing mental health during the transition to adulthood."- HappyHappyKidney
will ferrell anchorman GIFGiphyPut Those Pennies In The Bank!
"Start trying to save money now."
"You will definitely thank yourself later on."- Lastnight97
Sometimes Being Wrong Is The Only Way To Learn You're Right
"Failing is okay."- 2Graves1Ashe
People Are Always Willing To Help!
"When you make a mistake, own up to it."
"People are more willing to help you when you admit you did a dumb thing."
"This goes for school, work, and personal life."
"Forget to make a payment on a loan?"
"Call and talk to the finance company."
"Mess something up on a school project?"
"Tell your teacher and ask for a bit of leeway, Etc."
"People will be more likely to help you if you communicate."
"Start your retirement fund as early as possible."
"Doesn’t matter if you can only afford $5 a week, it’s still $5 more than you would have had otherwise."
"It WILL add up and you’ll thank yourself later."- GreenOnionCrusader
help me 80s GIFGiphyFollow Your Dream, But Have A Safety Net
"Get a marketable skill, unskilled labor sucks."
"You need something that’s going to pay you, it doesn’t have to be your life’s passion, contrary to what my peers were saying at that age, but you do need to be able to tolerate it."-sweetperdition
"If you don't have a passion, learn new skills."
"You might find your passion or something you're good at."- checkmatelocked
Better Safe Than Sorry
"Cashiers don't care if you buy condoms."- induceddaftfan
Safe Sex Love GIF by DUREXGiphyLooking back at things we wish we knew or had done differently will never end up doing us any good.
But giving this advice to young people could save them a world full of trouble.
Rather than mope about the past, we can help improve the future.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?"
The Whole Truth...
"Opposing counsel: 'Isn’t it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?"'
"Client: 'No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood'."- lizard96golf
Thought She Was Being Clever...
"A buddy of mine case as a public defender."
"A gal was busted on drug charges, and told him she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her."
"He thought, ok we'll use that."
"Turns out, she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her because she just sold them to an undercover cop."- CheapCigars
Choice Of Clothes Can Make A Difference...
"My house was robbed."
"In addition to all the stuff the thief took, he also stole a bunch of my suits and all of my neck ties."
"I had a big collection, like 100 or so."
"However, the thief left fingerprints on a hard plastic box that I kept spare change in."
"Fast forward 3 months, the thief is caught in the act of robbing another house in the same neighborhood, same detectives on my case and this new theft."
"They fingerprint the guy and the fingerprints match the ones from my house."
"At the thief’s arraignment, I see him stroll in wearing my suit and my tie."
"I tell the district attorney, he says there’s really no way to prove it."
"However, the tie he chose to wear was a one of kind street map of San Francisco and I still had all the documentation to prove it."
"The district attorney’s eyes widen and he informs the judge."
"The judge has the thief placed under arrest again for possession of stolen property."
"The thief’s lawyer was dumbfounded."
"It was a nice end to a rough situation!"- West-Operation
suit and tie johnny bananas GIF by 1st LookGiphyNever Depend On Technicalities
"Obligatory not my client."
"Company I worked for at the time was doing due diligence before acquiring a small tech startup."
"The COO of the tech startup was a well-liked guy in the company, friendly and outgoing."
"Though we had heard rumblings that the COO was rather hands-on with the work and with female employees."
"Apparently there was a walk-away package proposed to the COO that would let him keep a sizable portion of his post-acquisition bonus because a young woman who worked in their sales department had filed HR complaints against the COO and obtained counsel."
"I sat in on the meeting with the COO and the company's retained lawyers while they grilled him about his contacts with the young woman."
"The COO denied ever having contact with her within the company without multiple other people present, those people said his behavior toward her in the meetings didn't raise any flag."
"The COO emphatically denied having any contact with her outside of work."
"The lawyers asked the question a half-dozen different ways and each time the COO denied any out of work contact."
"Later we meet with the woman and her lawyer with the COO not present."
"Her lawyer gives us a rather graphic card that came with a bouquet of flowers addressed to her from the COO."
"The guy had an account with a florist linked to his credit card."
"When the company-retained lawyers confronted him he said, 'but I never had contact with her'."
"'It's not like I delivered the flowers myself'."
"COO got terminated for cause so no walk-away package."
"At her request the woman was given PTO until after the acquisition then moved to another one of the companies under our umbrella."- GuiltyLawyer
season 5 episode 21 GIFGiphyWho Exactly Am I Talking To?
"Employment case."
"We got to the deposition of my client and all set up."
"The first question is 'please state your name'."
"The client looks at me and says 'can we take a break?'"
"We do and she pulls me out in the hall to tell me she's lied to me about her identity."
"She's apparently a serial fraudster and has changed identities 7 times since the 90s."
"She apparently thought the other attorneys had some how figured it out and that's why they asked the question."- Philosopher422
It's The Little Ones That Get You...
"Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around."
"I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55."
"No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad."
"When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow."
"I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow."
"The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances."
"When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it."
"Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the south, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident."
"I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one."
"I legitimately do that all the time during consults."
"Give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason."
"At least she took it well and didn't get defensive."- AmberWavesofFlame
Driving Get Away GIF by Zella DayGiphySwing And A Miss...
"I used to work at a big health insurance company, which started up a company softball league."
"I started up a team for my division - Major Accounts."
"Lots of people wanted to play, so we had a big co-ed roster."
"I asked everyone to pony up $25 for a jersey and towards soft drinks, which I’d buy, chill and bring to each game."
"Because there were so many people on the team, I had to alternate who played defense each inning."
"One guy didn’t like it, and got mad that he couldn’t play center field every inning."
"So he decided on the next time he went in to let a couple of easy fly balls hit to him go past him on purpose for a home run."
"This guy was a clerical level employee playing with VPs and SVPs, not a smart career move."
"So I benched him for the rest of the game, as in I didn’t let him play defense."
"Two days later he serves me with papers, that he’s quit the team and is suing me for $25."
"I say this is dumb, you should just play and enjoy having fun after work with the people you work with."
"A week later I get a call from The People’s Court."
"They’re interested in putting this on TV but want to know more."
"I tell them the story and they say this is too stupid even for them."
"So they pass."
"Court day arrives, and the guy makes his case."
"I take the stand."
'The judge first says 'why haven’t you settled this?'"
"I say there’s nothing to settle."
"He asks me a a couple more questions and then asks 'so you kicked him off the team?'"
"And I say, no, he quit'."
"'I asked him to stay on the team'.”
"The judge says 'I’ve heard enough, ruling for defendant'.”
"The weeks later the company CFO comes up to me and asks when is it going to be on The People’s Court?"
"I had to say it’s not going to be, because they thought it was too stupid."
"Next round of layoffs, that guy is at the top of the list."
"I’d guess he’s still a loser."- mPeachy
Uh Oh Oops GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphyCareful The Things You Post...
"Prosecuting a guy who is claiming 'back injuries'."
"He posted pictures of himself holding strippers on Facebook the day after his 'injury'."- EasttownPot8ohead
Petty Threats?
"A commissioner referred a guy to me because I speak the guy's language and do that kind of law."
"Protection order case."
"Guy was asking for a protection order against his GF that had tried to stab him."
'I mer the guy talked to him."
"He seemed sketchy but he had decent answers to all my questions."
"I decided to represent him."
"Submitted declarations and exhibits."
"His GF responded that she was the victim and claimed police arrested wrong person."
"I met with him again and went over the accusations."
"I asked him, 'have you ever hit your GF?'"
"He answered no."
"We went to court."
"I made my argument."
"I felt confident."
"But commissioner requested 'permission' to question my client."
"Question 1: Have you ever hit GF. "
"My client answers no."
"Never."
'Question 2: have you ever tried to hit GF."
'Answer: 'yes many times'."
"'I even tried to straddle her in a chair but she moved ducked squirmed and eventually escaped'."- IndiaaB
Judge Judy Reaction GIF by Agent M Loves GifsGiphyFacts!
"My grandfather was the client in this very situation."
"He left my grandma after 20 years of marriage to be with his high school sweetheart."
"He and my grandmother had lived in the home my great-grandmother, grandmother's mother, gave to my grandmother."
"Grandfather had later been added to the deed when they did a home improvement loan because he was the earner and grandma was a housewife."
"My grandfather told his divorce lawyer that the house had been HIS mother's home that he inherited and my grandmother had moved in our whole family to make it uninhabitable for him."
'He then changed the story to say that he and my grandmother were gifted the home jointly."
"He also went on and on with wild stories that my grandmother was a mafia boss, despite the fact that we are not in Vegas, not of a nationality known for organized crime, and not rich."
"The lawyer accepted all of this as fact with zero proof and even went so far as to harass my grandmother's lawyer about how she was knowingly representing a criminal.
"There were even papers filed to sue my great-grandmother for mortgage fraud and all sorts of other bogus suits, again, filed solely on my grandfather's word."
"After mediation, wherein my grandfather wanted to to sell the home and split the money after paying his legal fees, keep both cars, pay no alimony, etc., we go to court."
"My grandmother's lawyer hands over one thing, the home improvement loan application wherein he listed my grandmother as the sole owner of the property and listed my great-grandmother as the previous owner."
"The judge was livid and my grandmother walked away with far more than her lawyer thought was possible."- myJNfamilythrowaway
Golden Girls 90S GIF by MattielGiphyDespite the longstanding negative connotations which come with them, lawyers are there to help you.
So it's always the best decision to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially if you're paying for their services.
That, or just obey the law so you won't need one.
"People who downloaded their Google data and went through it, what were the most unsettling things you found out they had stored about you?"
Followed My Every Step...
"That there is a map of everywhere I went in the last couple of years that's accurate to the hour."- Crank05
Context Is Everything...
"There's an audio recording of me saying 'check the Jewish boy's penis',"
"I don't remember ever saying that but ok."- MrPingeee
They Don't Always Get It Right...
"I'm the vice-president of a company that I've never heard of, and can't find any other info on it."- leavingdirtyashes
"Apparently I sleepwalk thousands of kilometers and then manage to get back home in time for work."
"Also a bunch of recordings of my computer's fan spinning."
"Ah, Google."
"Hyped up Google."
"Incompetent Google. "
"I know my data is in good hands."- Carkudo
Black And White Cartoon GIFGiphyYou Can't Erase Everything...
"If you use Google Photos and allow Maps to track your location:"
"I took photos that I didn't like, deleted them."
"Weeks later I am just browsing my timeline in Google Maps and those deleted photos are there, tagged to the location."
"Nothing incriminating, just thought you should know that a delete isn't a delete."- kinobe
They Don't Miss A Thing...
"It's not unsettling but I found out that Google can tell when I'm driving a car vs my motorcycle by using the gyroscopes in my phone."- Xtremegulp
It's Not Just Google
"It wasn’t google data that shocked me, I am kind of expecting it to know everything about me."
"This came from instagram."
"My period was very late, so naturally, I told my husband in our very private and quiet home setting, and bought a Clearblue pregnancy test."
"We don’t own tv, Amazon Alexa , google voice or similar."
"I just have reddit and Instagram on my smartphone."
"My period was just late, but the very next day I got bombarded by ads on Instagram about Clearblue and other pregnancy sticks and some other baby sh*t."
"There is no way that it was a coincidence since it was the second time getting a very, very specific ad."
"So the app is listening, and showing me ads accordingly."- lagattaca
Blood Celebrate GIF by Halfsquare DesignsGiphySelective Storage
"Recordings of conversations with my boss over two years."
"I don't know why it only had recordings of us talking and no one else."- FiveOhFive91
Careful What You Say...
"Definitely the voice recordings."
"That should be turned off by default instead of needing to be changed by the user."- mahoujosei100
They Waste No Time...
"All phone activity, opened app, closed app etc, from the very first day I owned my phone, constant check of my GPS, constant check of my device orientation."
"If someone steals your google account, they basically can found out everything there is to find out about you."- linecraftman
Who Dis Star Wars GIF by LEGOGiphyIt is helpful to have an online cloud to store things, saving you paper and stress of remembering where you put it.
What's a bit frightening is that Google and other services are starting to get one step ahead of us when it comes to what they document.
Leaving one to wonder if Big Brother is, in fact, watching us…