"IRL friends of social media “influencers”: what is it like?"
Content Over Friendship
"Awful."
"One of my best friends fell real hard into Instagram, and for a few years it was tolerable and understandable, albeit annoying and strange."
"Everything needed to be documented in specific ways, so lots & lots of photos, even if it took away from the moment."
"But the strange part was how, when she’d share things, the captions always told a slightly different story than what actually happened."
"Like just off enough for me and my other friends to say, huh, that has a weird quality to it."
"Fast forward a couple years, and she gets engaged."
"Boom."
"This was the catalyst for the worst of the influencer mentality to come out. I was in the bridal party, and it was a nightmare."
"No gratitude, just demands."
"Demands for expensive trips and expensive parties and all kinds of things that were above and beyond the means of her closest friends."
"And all the demands were because she had a 'following' and had certain expectations to meet."
"It was really heart wrenching to witness someone belittle their best friend and maid of honor for trying to plan a sweet bridal shower because it wasn’t going to be at an expensive restaurant or art gallery."
"It reached its peak for me when, after the in-state wedding became an expensive destination wedding, there was the demand for an out-of-town bachelorette party a few weeks before."
"I was honest and said I couldn’t afford the bachelorette (mind you, I made about a thousand sacrifices over those months to afford what I could), and was promptly bridezilla’d and told I ruined the whole experience and that I was an awful, fake, inauthentic person."
"It got so bad that the bridal party fractured and disintegrated, she lost two of her best friends (myself and the MOH didn’t even attend the wedding after all her behavior and blow-ups), and we’ve barely spoken since."
"All so she could have an instagrammable wedding that would look good for the few photos she ended up sharing of it."
"And, true to the weird strange re-written reality ways she had, she published a public 'apology' on her blog for her followers and family that completely distorted and rewrote what happened, painted herself as the victim, and got her the sympathy points she was looking for."
"Ppl really lose themselves when they create an artifice for social media."
"I learned a lot from her."- whenthesunrise
Channel 9 Reaction GIF by Married At First SightGiphyLess Than Picture Perfect
"I dated one."
"Not super popular but followers in the 100k range last time we spoke."
"I remember a lot of getting ignored and only receiving nice gifts/acts of kindness when they could post about it."
"Asking me to go to nice places (they didn't drive) only to leave me on a bench somewhere while they took pictures."
"Huge strain on the relationship, especially when they started to get bigger and there was more demand for content."- 42charlemagne
No Chance For Promotion? Not Interested...
"She hasn’t come to anything I’ve invited her to in 5 years because she only goes to events that 'further her business'.”
"Regularly says things like, 'we’re all using each other for something'.”
"Sometimes she texts me the same exact thing word for word over a couple of days, and it’s obvious she just copy/pastes the same thing and sends it to all of us and then forgets who she has sent it to."
"She still reaches out to me multiple times a year and claims I’m one of her best friends, but it sure doesn’t feel like it."
"I’ve told her as much, but she just says 'this is my life now, my business comes first and if you can’t accept that, then I guess you’re not a real friend'.”- Cirrus-Ramparts
It's All A Facade
"Pretty mundane, honestly."
"My friend is conventionally attractive, and if you look at her social media, you'd think she were a supermodel millionaire who goes on tons of trips."
"She's actually chronically unemployed, and has an income of less than 10k/yr."
"Her boyfriend makes about $60k/yr which is enough to afford them a very nice 3 1/2 bedroom apartment, and she has tons of props she uses to make each room look different from day to day so it seems like she's always in a new, exotic place."
"They take two trips a year to fun, tropical places, in which she takes many photos, and posts them as different places throughout the year."
"She's a very kind, considerate, sparkling personality, but whenever we hang out, I tend to be a shoulder to cry on as she laments about her lack of success in life."
"It's quite sad, honestly."
"But with her creativity and personality, I think she'll achieve her dreams eventually."- LemonFly4012
katy perry selfie GIF by Vulture.comGiphyNot What We Signed Up For...
"It's annoying AF."
"One of my buddies is constantly filming everything we do and posting it."
"It's to the point where people walk up to me on the street and ask me about him because they've seen me in his posts."
"I have no idea who they are."
"It dominates everything he does, and has severely impacted his personal relationships."
"He can't keep a GF and it's clearly related to this obsession of his."
"He does occasionally get some cool stuff out of it though."
"After pretty much kicking him out of my life because I do not want to be continually posted online, we've come to the understanding that when he's about to take a pic or video, he hands me the phone so i'm not in the shot."
"Works OK for me."- S_204
But What Will People Think?
"Friends with a high-profile athlete who is pretty popular on insta."
"He is always on the phone."
"Never lives in the moment."
"If we are doing anything fun?"
"Well, it basically didn't happen unless the world knows about it."
"Its just annoying."
"I cant imagine living for the approval or satisfaction of others."- Neither-Act1355
abbi jacobson instagram GIF by Broad CityGiphyWhat Exaclty Is "Influencer Status?"
"I post travel photos and have about two hundred followers."
"200, not 2000 or higher."
"My friend somehow thought that was influencer status and decided to copy me - except she quit her job so she could travel more and 'grow her own brand'."
"In 2020."
"She lost her apartment, her car, and still hasn't found a job, but calls herself a professional influencer all the same."- oikorapunk
Just.Plain.Sad.
"I know a wannabe influencer."
"She will reply to her own posts from her husband's account praising herself."
"Then she will reply to those posts as herself thanking him, it's hilarious, like inception for Facebook."- Sydneyfigtree
Followers Over Friends
"To be honest it’s really sh*t."
"I feel like I’ve been completely forgotten about and like I don’t matter anymore."
"I think that’s just some weird misguided jealousy but it still hurts because I miss talking to my friend."- EmeraldSunrise4000
Take Two...
"Sad."
"In the beginning they started because they got offers from brands because they were so popular on Instagram and it was a lot of fun for them."
"Now they don’t ever post pictures or videos without a filter."
"Rarely ever like a picture on the first try and don’t you dare post any pictures of them without getting their approval for it."
"Imagine trying to get a group picture with all of your friends for your birthday but having you take almost one hundred shots to get one that your influencer friend is happy with."
"Also in the beginning I would like and comment on all of their posts but now that’s not enough."
"They expect me message it others, share it on my stories and my page (something about new rhythms and likes not being important anymore)."
"I hate posting stuff to my page but I do it any way to be supportive."
"It is so tiring."
"They do get free things sometimes though that they sometimes share with me."
"Not worth it imo."- yonewredditwhodis·
Based on the content they post on their pages, influencers' lives would appear to be one giant party.
Spend a day with an influencer though, and it will soon become crystal clear that it is anything but.
Curious to hear the kind of instructions photographers have gotten, Redditor peaches1687 asked:
"Photographers of Reddit: What is the most outrageous photo shoot request you have received from an Instagram 'influencer'?"
These Redditors share examples of people who apparently didn't grasp the concept of how doing business works.
Effects Of Exposure
"Wedding Photographer here, they said they were influencers with a great following that they'd promote me to but when I asked for their handle online, silence."
"I get this is a lot as I'm fairly well known so an easy target when people look."
"Exposure? People die from exposure."
– chrisgilesphoto
How Insulting
"Been a wedding photographer for 12 years. I ROUTINELY get asked to do entire weddings for free. Not even always from Instagram influencers. One time this guy (whom I didn't even like that much) asked me to do a wedding for free for his friend. Someone I didn't even know existed at all until this interaction."
"I just imagine walking into a restaurant and asking for the absolute best meal they have for zero dollars and then telling them it will be good for their business to do so."
– Richsii
Outfit Change
"I had a client ask me to photoshop his head onto another guy’s body because he liked the shirt the other guy was wearing more than his own. I actually did it because it was hilarious and he paid me for it."
– LegendofZoldo
eBay Guy
"I was selling an old camera on eBay, maybe $50, and someone asked me to send it to him for free so he could review it on his YouTube channel. I’m not the manufacturer of this secondhand camera, just an art student trying to make some money, so i don’t know how he thought reviewing my old camera was of any benefit to me. And then it turned out he only had 10 subscribers so I really don’t know what he thought he was doing (you have ten subscribers but start your email off with 'hi I’m name better known as channel name' ???)"
"Somehow have avoided this with my actual photography work but I still laugh about eBay guy."
– Beckerbelieveit
It gets worse.
Reverse Pricing
"Influencer asked me to shoot and before I even had the chance to give her my prices she decided to give me hers, over $300 for ME to shoot with HER for 30 minutes, one of her main selling points was she could 'teach me how to leverage and grow my social media.'"
"Girl was 15..."
"Edit to clarify: She was asking me to pay her $300+ when in reality at a minimum she should be paying me. I don’t even charge that much haha."
– PeterPanBean
An Assistant's Worth
"As a photo assistant in Chicago, I had a friend tell me there was a popular NY photographer looking for an assistant on Instagram for a shoot in Chicago. I inquired with the gentleman, and he said he only had a day rate of $150. On top of that, he said the day would be a 14 hour day, and he asked me to pick up his equipment rental which included a 12 foot sweep, and store it at my place to be ready for the shoot the next day. Hell no. 150$ for 17 hours worth of work? Idc which photographer you are pay your assistants correctly."
– Fake_Franco
Missguided
"Had an 'influencer' try to set up a shoot with me. When I mentioned my price she was shocked because she was under the assumption that I was going to pay her for some reason."
– Amuro_Ray_Gunner
The audacity of these influencers is shocking.
Crap Shoot
"Beet Poop"
"Some influencer that was promoting betanin in beets as healthy diet. She want me to take images of the colored-change poop. That this is actually normal in those that can't process the betanin."
"(that week, my DSLR was dropped hard, and now I am without it. It was a bad week...)"
– anon
Tourist Spot Exploitation
"A few years back I was in Acadia National Park and we did the Beehive Trail hike. For those unfamiliar it’s basically as close to rock climbing as you can get non harnessed as you are going straight up a cliff on iron rungs and stuff, so super fun and you are rewarded with an amazing view at the top. Most people take a quick snap there at the lip, as most do at the peak of their hike, and then move on to the more rocky area (but less a nice view) to rest."
"Anyway while we were there resting two Instagram girls got to the top, and promptly took over the best view of the lip to take various yoga poses. (Because that was totally a natural thing to do after scrambling up a cliff?) For at least ten minutes- families were coming up asking if they could take a picture, but they literally said 'we were here first' and 'we’ll be here awhile' when asked if they were almost done."
"We ended up leaving before they were done but it still boils my blood thinking about it."
– Andromeda321
How Patronizing
"Someone asked me to shoot her entire wedding, a full day, an engagement photoshoot underwater (I do underwater photography also) and some 'honeymoon' shots somewhere... All for 'exposure'... I straight up said no, politely and she kicked off in a patronising way asking me if she knew who she was and what it would do for my career... She had about 10k less followers than I did and I don't even do weddings as I had pointed out so it wasn't even in my best interest even if she had millions of followers."
"Oh and an 'influencer' guy asked me to do a nude photoshoot for him for free. I declined but wished him luck... He then sent a d*ck pic. I reported him."
– rhgarton
Exclusive Modeling
"She asked for $200/hr with a three hour minimum, without any real prior modeling experience, and had conditions that the photos could not be posted anywhere and that she was going to have them sold exclusively on her Patreon."
– CodyDeasy
Influencers, take note.
You aren't doing professional photographers any favors by asking them to take your photos to advance your social media presence, free of charge.
That's not how it works. You know, in case you were an ignorant influencer. Ohh, snap!
