While dating can be a wonderful experience, it can also be unnecessarily complicated and not all it's cracked up to be.
For some, it's simply easier to remain single and independent, rather than to be left guessing by a potential partner.
Redditor chewysnacc asked:
"What is stopping you from getting a partner right now?"
Lack of Communication
"It kinda seems like everyone I meet and am interested in is already dating/in a situation with someone. I get plenty of connections on dating apps but they usually just stop replying."
- TwoChaptersIn
Missed Opportunities
"I’m too shy and don’t meet new people. My life is a cycle of waking up, university, sleep, and when I get opportunities, I don’t take them."
- Arcofly
Grief Takes a Toll
"I just lost my wife after years of illness and have no desire for another relationship."
- gtnair
"It's been four years now since her death after a three and a half year fight that she put up. We spent 12 years together and I still just can't bring myself to really go out there again when all I want is her back."
- Anunnaki2522
Feeling Unworthy
"Being a 62-year-old dishwasher with no money."
- thomas4004
"I met my current partner while I was a dishwasher. There are people out there for everyone. Don't focus on what you don't have."
- JustwantedAUsername
In Need of a Solo Journey
"I'm just not ready for one. The biggest reason is laziness, probably."
"The idea of being in a relationship is way more appealing than the actual responsibilities involved in my current stage. Relationships take work, and I'm not gonna just half-a** it like an a**hole when I can't guarantee that I'd fully commit."
"I'd just be wasting somebody's time and that's not fair to them. Plus, there are plenty of things that I'm already not putting enough time into that are way more pressing.""
- PEEWUN
"Yeah. I hear this."
"It’s not necessarily that I’m too lazy to get into a relationship and be with someone. Instead, after six months, I start becoming 'lazy' and want to do my own things by myself waaaaay more frequently, and it’s pushed every girl I’ve been with away."
"I’m probably destined to remain single. However, I’ve become entirely content with that. Sometimes I do miss having a partner and the advantages of having a partner, but those reasons are purely selfish on my own part."
"Partly blame being an only child with parents that both worked 60+ hours a week. I’m far from upset by it though. Instead, I cherish the fact that I can be nearly 100% content being alone."
- Blacksheepoftheworld
Self-Improvement Era
"Just got out of a toxic relationship where we both played our part in being toxic. I‘m currently working on myself so it doesn’t happen in my next relationship again."
- Crounty
"I'm working on myself. I'm in no position to date anybody and have nothing substantial to give another person right now. I need everything I have to fix me."
- scienceforbid
Procrastination: The Dating Edition
"Pragmatically speaking? Nothing really, maybe some internalized form of procrastination?"
"I keep myself decently well-maintained mentally, emotionally, and physically. Career-wise/professionally, I've built myself up as a pretty well-rounded person and although I've still got a ways to go, I'm decently stable with my currently established work-life balance."
"And I'm also a decently well-socialized person who interacts well with the public, can hold a conversation, and is decent at paying attention to social cues and body language."
"If I actually tried to get into the dating game, I'm decently confident that I could do okay for myself and my partner; but I guess I just haven't had a reason to actually take that initiative step..."
- mythrilcrafter
The Introvert Has Entered the Chat
"My pathetic social battery and conversational skills."
- Capt-N3M0
Updated Priorities
"I'm divorced with a three-year-old boy in my mid-30s."
"It’s a minefield out here, and my threshold for nonsense is way lower than my threshold for loneliness."
- ChickensPickins
Ableist Thinking
"My wheelchair. I’m completely self-sufficient and independent. I’m a moderately attractive 29-year-old male, I’m in good shape and have a very active and athletic background."
"Girls simply won’t look past it and treat me like a human. I don’t identify as a wheelchair or as disabled, I identify as human, treat me like one."
- DocShaayy
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
"I don't go to places where it is socially acceptable to approach women often. I hate loud a** clubs, don't go to many concerts, and really don't go to bars much. I don't really have a friend group, either. Even when I do go, I don't even know how to do it. I can talk to them, but that never goes anywhere."
- HooterEnthusiast
Prioritizing Trust
"Just some trust issues and with no one around me who is genuinely interested in getting a long-lasting relationship."
- lilac_skyy
Dating in Real-Time
"Maybe it's just not the right time for me."
- common_Database_1322
"Sitcoms and tv/social make everything appear like it happens fast."
"Time in real life is an important factor."
"'Right Now' only works for people who have the privilege to choose and we all know if you have the privilege to choose, you have the power to wait."
"Life is crazy."
- typesett
Social Cues
"I am a high functioning Autistic and have issues interacting with strangers. My looks are good enough to get dates with women I find attractive, but they are generally put off by my lack of eye contact and I'm unable to tell if they like me or not."
"I've actually botched quite a few dates where I thought they weren't into me, but I thought we'd make good friends so I stated so. They stopped talking to me after that."
- MrStealYoBichonFrise
A New Season in Life
"Just got out of a marriage with someone I’ve spent 12 years with. I’m starting to enjoy my new freedom. I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about explaining any purchases. I’ve been able to give up weed since I’m not around her."
"Even though it was a traumatic experience initially, I’m starting to thrive and my friends and family have noticed a difference in my attitude and anxiety. Even though she was a big part of my life and I still feel love for her, it’s becoming clear that our time together has come to an end. We were what we needed for that season in life."
"Plus I got an awesome kid out of it."
- No_Key_6276
This conversation was a great reminder of how similar we all are, in the sense of experiencing insecurities and living through parts of our lives when it's more important to work on ourselves than to develop a new relationship.
But there was hope in these responses, as well. Most of these reasons are temporary, but even if they are long-lasting, there are others who have managed to date under those same conditions.
People Share The Greatest Historical Examples Of 'F*** It, I'll Do It Myself'
Just step aside... I'll do ti!!
Sometimes you just have to push everyone aside and do it yourself. That's why that saying is so popular... "If you want something done right then do it yourself." Those are some very true words. And there is historical proof. Some of our greatest leaders only had success because they just weren't going to wait another second for someone else to "do it."
Redditor u/throwaway121270 wanted everyone to chat about the times they and those in the past had to take life into their own hands by asking..... What is the greatest "f*** it, I'll do it myself" in history?Jonas Does.....
GiphyJonas Salk needed human subjects to test his polio vaccine. That's normally a long process and he wanted to make the vaccine available as quick as possible so he just experimented on himself. anarchocowboyism
Give a Hoist....
Otis invented pretty much what we consider the modern elevator.
Nobody was convinced it was safe so he hoisted himself up extremely high and had somebody cut the cable with an axe to prove how confident he was that the elevator was safe regardless of almost worst case scenarios. Iivaitte
TeX/LaTeX......
Donald Knuth is one of the big names in computer science. Back in the 1960s he set out to write the definitive texts on computer programming and analysis of algorithms. The first three volumes came out and he started the fourth in the early/mid 1970s. He was unhappy with how the newer printing/editions were typeset and so he took a summer to "solve" that problem.
A decade later the fourth volume still had not been completed, but as a consolation prize we got TeX (later extended to the more commonly used LaTeX), without question the most comprehensive and powerful language for creating documents with heavy technical requirements; it is a strange mix of a markup language like HTML and a compiled language like C. It is completely free and has been for well over 30 years and is probably the most bug-free piece of software I've ever seen. Certainly for its size and scope, there's not much out there of comparable quality.
There is literally no mathematics that cannot be properly typeset in TeX/LaTeX. Its default style is instantly recognizable to any working mathematician. It is used across nearly all STEM fields and there are hundreds, if not thousands, of journals that only accept manuscripts written in LaTeX.
It wasn't until the early 2000s that drafts of the fourth volume started to appear. Nobody has seemed to mind. shellexyz
John Broke....
GiphyJohn Snow (not that one, the father of epidemiology). No one believed him that the Cholera outbreak in what is now Soho was because of a contaminated water pump. He broke it. They arrested him for vandalism and held him until the outbreak suddenly ended..... pyrangarlit
the other undertaker's wife....
In 1888, Almon Brown Strowger, an undertaker, noticed he was losing a lot of business to the other undertaker in town. He found out that the other undertaker's wife was a telephone operator and when she intercepted people asking to be connected to Strowger's funeral home, the operator would route the call to her husband's funeral home instead.
Three years later, Strowger patented the automatic teller exchange, a system which allowed telephone users to make calls without the need for human operators, singlehandedly destroying an entire workforce. nova3482
People Break Down Their Greatest Accomplishment On The Internet | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
They saved 14 of their friends.
Probably the time Nando Parrado and Roberto Canessa decided they couldn't wait around any longer and legged it for 10 days across the Andes with no warm clothes, climbing gear, or food except some scraps of their dead friends stuffed into a sock.
They finally found someone out in the middle of nowhere, Sergio Catalan, who rode horseback all night and then took a bus to get some help. The mountain climbers had come from the wreckage of a crashed plane that everyone had been looking for for over 2 mos. They needed help for the other survivors who were injured and starving. They saved 14 of their friends. NotDaveBut
MAJOR!
Léo Major, he liberated an entire village from Nazis by himself, he's one of the handful of super bad@ss soldiers you sometimes hear about from WW2. Jonyb222
The Finns....
it's gotta be Aimo Koivunen- he was a Finnish soldier in the second world war when the finns were trying to reclaim land from the soviets. he got separated from his unit mid-war in the middle of nowhere- he was the one tasked to carry the drugs they held in case of injury or tiredness, one of which was pervitin (which was literal meth in a tablet form).
instead of just taking one or two, he downed the whole bottle and went on a weeks-long method up rampage. he got hit by a landmine, evaded soviet soldiers, caught a bird and ate it raw, all while on skis. he finally made it back to finish lines where on arrival, he weighed only 90 pounds or so and had a heart rate of 200 beats per minute. he ended up living for another 45 years.
edit:here's an article if you want to read more and see a pic of his unyielding stare. burntwenis
The Global....
GiphyMaurice Hilleman invented over 40 vaccines during his career in the pharmaceutical industry.
In 1963 his oldest daughter caught the mumps. He cultured a sample from her, developed a vaccine, and injected it into his younger daughter.
That vaccine is still in use and has saved millions of lives.
In total, it's estimated that his work has saved 118 million lives globally. mrbibs350
Beyond the C....
The guy who started fedex wrote a college paper about a nationwide overnight shipping company, and got a C... started the company anyways.
Later after he started it and it was struggling, he couldn't get a loan and the company was almost bankrupt, and he bet next weeks payroll at the casino on roulette and won.
Also got a silver star in the Vietnam war and now co-owns the Washington redskins... the latter often viewed as the biggest failure in his life. FinanceCorpStrategy
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