The Absolute Weirdest Questions People Have Been Asked In A Job Interview
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked: 'What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?'
I once burst out laughing during a job interview.
It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.
What cracked me up?
This interview question:
"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"
After I stopped laughing,
I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:
"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."
The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked:
"What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?"
Apple Jacks Is Even Better
"Went to a job interview at Applebee’s. After going over my extensive work experience in the service industry, the manager asked:"
"If you were a cereal, which one would you be?"
"Me: 'Mm, I don’t know. Cheerios?'."
"Him: 'Why Cheerios?'."
"Me: '…because I seem like a Cheerio kinda person?'."
"Him: 'Hmm. Most people say Fruit Loops, because they’re fun and colorful'."
"Me: 😐"
"I did not get the job."
~ Numerous_Age_3223
The Best Medicine
"Do you like to laugh?"
"Asked by the most stoic woman who worked in that office."
"I laughed in response and got the job. Apparently I answered correctly."
~ Danceinthepurplerain
Wut?
"Well, I already know your weaknesses. What are some of your strengths?"
"I had no idea what he was talking about since we never discussed weaknesses."
~ JoshuaByer
No, And Goodbye
"I was asked at an interview if I planned on having kids soon."
"I answered that I was 19 and still living with my parents so, no, I wasn’t but based off him asking that question I didn’t want to work for him and cut the interview short."
"He seemed entirely shocked but I could tell he was asking out of misogyny and not any other reason."
"He was an arse and I’d already decided I didn’t want the job—this was just an excuse to cut the interview short."
~ Chinateapott
"It was 2 guys interviewing me for an ICU RN job. I am female and this was several years ago."
"Their very FIRST question was 'So are you married? Have any kids?'.”
"Which yeah, is maybe small talk, but you can’t ask that in an interview and it’s not your business and why is that the VERY FIRST THING you are saying to me upon meeting me‽‽"
"I said 'Come on, you know you can’t ask that kind of stuff'."
"It was awkward after that and I didn’t get a call back."
~ Free-While-2994
"I was asked in an interview if I had any children. The guy even lamented he knows he isn't supposed to ask me that, but the hours are very strict and people use their kids as an excuse too often to not work their full hours."
"Little Miss Helpful that I was told him then that's how he should phrase the question so as not to appear discriminatory towards women. He looked surprised as I gave him a better script example."
"And then proceeded to answer the more PC version of the question I created and told him, 'I don't have any obligations that would keep me from working the hours and shifts I'd be scheduled for'."
"I was not given a job offer. No surprise there."
"Which was fine and dandy because I wouldn't have wanted to work there anyway for a variety of reasons."
~ NolaJen1120
Were They Applying At X?
"I had an interview where the CEO randomly sat in."
"When he learned about my heritage, the CEO asked what my views were about the current government of the country my parents are from."
"Even the main interviewer cringed and was speechless."
~ Craptardo
Gotcha!
"Interviewer: 'You don't have any kids?'."
"Me: 'No, not yet'."
"Interviewer: 'You're Mexican, aren't you?'."
"Me: 'You can't ask that during an interview'."
"Dude went bright red and apologized immediately before I burst out laughing. The interview was going well and I already had the job in the bag. At this point we were more or less just chatting."
~ messonamission
Is It A Job Requirement?
"If I hire you as the HR manager will you go and f*ck all the nurses? Because that is what the former HR manager did."
"Interviewer was the Hospital CEO."
~ heartofgold48
Run, Girl, Run!
"I got hired and quit the same day. I turned 19 and was looking for something full time. I got a call for an interview at some promotion business."
"I got called into a room where my potential new boss was sitting. He was very friendly and nice but it all became very very weird very quickly."
"He asked me normal interview questions: 'What made you want to apply? Do you have experience in promotion work? Where do you see yourself in this company?'."
"Eventually he trailed off to make small talk which would be normal if it wasn’t weird."
"He asked, 'How old are you? Oh wow, you’re young. I think you’ll have an easy time here, you’re very beautiful. Very beautiful. You know, as soon as you walked in here I just felt something. You have such strong energy, I don’t know if it’s that smile or your charisma'."
"I was very shy, I did not have a bubbly personality at all."
"He sent me 'out in the field' alongside another girl to test the waters I suppose. We stood in front of a well known bar where our 'mentor' told us that the promotion at his stand was to sell backpacks for kids in need of school supplies."
"After he explained that, he called my boss and said I was a good fit."
"Immediately after that my boss called and was like, 'I KNEW you had it in you. Ahh, I don’t know what it is about you, [my name] but you just have something amazing going on. I already decided not to go with [other girl's name] because it’s your name I want to see with mine'.”
"I told him I was late for class and sped back to campus where I told my teacher why I was late and what had happened. He advised me to quit immediately."
~ Advanced_District789
Not A Nanny
"What would you do if someone started shouting at you in a meeting?"
"I responded that I'd just leave the meeting. I don't get paid to babysit. if someone wants to act like a child I'll leave them to it. The interviewer seemed taken aback while the other guys where chuckled."
"Turns out the guy who asked the question had a habit of raising his voice to people who disagreed with him."
"I ended up getting the job and found out the guy was just super invested in the product he was developing. Like he had patents on it, books written, etc..."
"So when he's in a meeting and gives an input, and someone disagrees with him, he will not let it go until they are on board because in almost every case he IS right. He was a great guy and I miss working with him."
"He never raised his voice with me, though."
~ shaidyn
Just Plain Wrong
"During an interview my insulin pump went off (it does this quite often). My potential boss asked me if I had to wear it all the time."
"I said yes and explained I was a type 1 diabetic. They then asked me if I could leave my insulin pump in a locker for an 8 hour shift."
"Obviously I can’t."
"It got awkward and I didn’t get the job."
~ kayguy55
Not Long Ago, In An HR Office Not Far Away...
"My GF was recently asked in an interview:"
"What weapon would you want to have in a zombie apocalypse?"
"She answered 'light saber'. They asked why."
"She said because it doesn't run out of ammo or get dull."
"They seemed to like that answer."
~ freezingprocess
Did They Need Help With Theirs?
"How do you tie your shoes?”
"Opening question."
"It honestly helped calm me down and made the interview easier to get through. I brought up the TedTalk on how to properly tie your shoe and the lesson I learned from that."
~ i_like_pretzels
"They really wanted help figuring it out, all the other applicants couldn't teach them."
~ Just-Good-2851
I was the interviewer at different points in my career and I'm struggling to understand the point of some of these questions.
Maybe their lack of purpose is the point.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have you been asked?
The Worst Things Someone Can Say On A First Date
"Reddit user MiloMilkOnDrugs asked: 'What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?'"
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
Promises
Players Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
FriendNegative6013
Honk Off
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
blu3teeth
Circa 2005
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
mageakeem
Safety First
"Does anyone know you're here?"
Baby-hazell
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Hachiko75
Previously...
canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
REDDIT
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
Mirror Mirror
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
Academic_Ingenuity84
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
LurkerOrHydralisk
Oh Baby
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
BuffaloInCahoots
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
phillmybuttons
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
ashoka_akira
Family Dynamics
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
Kiunan5
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
Digital_Punk
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Bobtheguardian22
Be Serious
Shouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
295DVRKSS
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?
There are certain things that are bound to get you fired in just about every profession.
Being nasty to colleagues and clients/customers, misusing company money, and first and foremost, not showing up to work.
When it comes to teachers, however, there are even more rules that others might not think of that are guaranteed grounds for dismissal.
Or so we think.
As some teachers manage to get away with shocking, if not downright apalling behavior and still manage to stay in the classroom, and out of the rubber room.
Redditor stockstandardly was curious to hear some of the most outrageous things ever done by teachers who managed to hold on to their jobs, leading them to ask:
"What DIDNT your teacher get fired for?"
You Thought There Was Only One...
"Y4 teacher put gaffer tape over the mouth of talkative students."
"Regularly."
"History Teacher invited me (16yo) over for beers and smokes."- stockstandardly
It Is Possible To Be TOO Close...
"Y5-7 gym teacher showered with us (the boys) because apparently there was chewing gum in the drain in the teacher's shower." - Runkepapir
Nobody Knew, Or Nobody Did Anything?
"I knew of two girls in my grade (age 16-17) that had inappropriate relationships with two separate teachers."
"Nobody was punished because nobody knew."
"Which makes me think this kind of thing probably happens all the time."- Green0livesAndHam
No Harm, No Foul?
"We had this little old lady for our all-male music class(16 years old) and she loved us and we all loved her."
"When we left the class she would slap our bottoms and we'd joke around trying to not get hit and dodging it and just goof off."
"We knew it was absurd and inappropriate and so did she but we all thought it was hilarious."
"I was always worried someone would narc or another teacher would see it and say something."
"She was the best. Hilarious woman and a good teacher."- SkinkaLei
How Much Proof Do They Need?
"Purposely slamming a student’s hand with the door."
"Hard."
"Happened a year after I graduated hs but there’s video footage of it out there somewhere."- lecstasy
Schools Should Be A Safe Haven...
"Telling the whole class to beat me up after school and defending them when I defended myself."- QuiescisMagna
'Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child"?... ABSOLUTELY NOT!
"I remember when I was in elementary school and my sister as well."
"My sister would always come home complaining of her bottom hurting and having trouble sitting."
"Back in school days during the 80s, they would give wooden paddle licks to kids for misbehaving, etc."
"My mother confronted my sister one day for all the complaining."
"She made my sister pull her pants down and saw multiple bruises on her bottom."
"My sister confessed that her teacher was giving paddles to her for however many multiplication problems she missed on her tests."
"Apparently, she was getting licks quite frequently."
"The next morning, when dropping us off at school, my mother was infuriated and stormed into the office and gave them a piece of her mind."
"Showed them the bruises on my sisters bottom."
"My mom fought hard to get the teacher fired, but they never did."
"The only thing they did was move my sister to another room, and the teacher stopped paddling kids."
"My sister never told my mom she got licks."
"I never did either.'
'Because you were scared of getting in trouble at home."
"Because getting licks at school meant you got in trouble at school."
"You didn't want your parents to find out."
"Can you imagine what would happen to the teacher in today's world?"- Safe-Block-7993
TEMPORARY LEAVE?!?!
"8th grade science teacher was asked if putting hair in dry ice as an experiment would create a reaction."
"Teacher said 'let’s see'."
"And proceeds to grab scissors, walk to said student, and cut off a two inch chunk of hair, close to her face, halfway down her waist length hair."
"You could hear a pen drop as he wordlessly walks over and tosses the chunk of hair into the box of dry ice."
"No reaction but he was put on temporary leave a week later."- InternalDreadIncomin
Learning By Anything But Example
"11th grade, teacher was clearly not heard by even a single student to say during a bomb threat that she hopes they blow the whole place up."
"This is after her husband got fired for knocking up a student."
"Not a single person heard her loudly proclaim she wanted the school to go boom, so she wasn't fired."
"Lol."
"Loved by all is an understatement."
"Another teacher 9th grade year wasn't fired for backing my friend into a corner and looming over her with his hand on the wall above her head."
"F*ck you, Mr Hanks."- GreenOnionCrusader
Far too many students feel unsafe at school for a variety of reasons.
Their teachers should never, EVER, be one of them.
And one bad teacher has the ability to ruin it for all the extraordinary teachers out there.
While we can all dream that there is the perfect person out there for everyone, we can also agree that each person is not perfect for everyone else. There are absolutely dealbreakers that would apply to one person and not someone else.
But most of us can agree that there are certain things that you absolutely do not say on a first date.
Redditor TacticalBabushka asked:
"What is the worst thing to say on a first date?"
No Fat-Shaming Allowed
"Once I went on a date with a guy, and afterward I messaged something like, 'So what did you think?'"
"And he answered, 'You carry your weight well.'"
"I was surprised, because it’s a subject that had never come up before at any point, and this was back before filters existed, so he knew exactly how I looked before we met, it wasn’t due to any surprises."
"He also wasn’t into 'overweight women,' per his own admission, so this wasn’t said with enthusiasm."
- HyperboleEverAfter
Sweet Ulterior Motives
"My husband actually said to me on our first date, 'I’m really glad you’re not skinny.'"
"I think he meant it as a compliment. 12 years later, I realize it’s because he assumed (correctly) I could cook."
"He likes to eat."
"I am 5’7 and at the time we met, I weighed 190ish. I’m pretty solid built, and yeah, I have some meat on me, but it’s not sloppy. I’ve always worn a size 12/14 and I’m busty."
"He weighed 260 at 5’9 and was into bodybuilding, his chest measured 52 inches (no man boobs). He also worked in a steel mill at the time and probably needed to consume 5k calories a day just to maintain. We are not small people, lol (laughing out loud)."
"And yes, I can cook very well. Good food is very important to him. We currently weigh 160 (me) and 250."
- Argercy
"He likes to eat so much he put his own foot in his mouth!"
- Constant-Sandwich-88
Too Much Too Fast
"I love you."
- Bmilvis
"So, this reminds me of something that happened to me (TL;DR: the man was already making plans for marriage and the rest of our lives not even five minutes after meeting each other):"
"A Tinder date said, 'I saw in your profile that you’re in environmental science as well as soil science. How about we take some time to negotiate where we should move in the future when we are married based on where you want to study.'"
"I chuckled at him and thought he was just being cheeky and flirty, but then he got this very confused and serious expression and said, 'Why are you laughing? You don’t see yourself marrying me?'"
"And it was after we JUST said hi to each other, bruh!"
- Astro_Baddie
The Ex Talk
"Anything about your ex that was unprompted."
- Jugnaut_
"Oh yes. I went on a first date where my date started talking about his exes for some reason. Then it continued to how he was still friends with most of them. And the finale was, 'I may not be a good boyfriend, but I'm a great ex.'"
"The appetizers weren't even served yet... I really didn't know what to do with that information. We didn't meet again (for that and other reasons)."
- double_plankton
"I met up with a girl on Tinder in the middle of quarantine and just blabbered on about my last couple of girlfriends for like an hour in her car and then left. It felt so good to talk to someone in person that wasn’t my parents."
"Then she texted me as soon I I drove off like, 'Maybe next time you meet up with someone, you should let them speak and not talk about all of your ex-girlfriends, dude.'"
"It was pretty f**king embarrassing honestly, lol (laughing out loud)."
- parkrat92
"Bro was looking for a therapy session."
- The_Next_Legend
A Way to Be Introduced
"I saw your sister when I was going through all your Facebook pics. She's hot. Is she seeing anyone?"
- I_Lick_Bananas
Inappropriate Promises
"From a girl to me: 'I am so fertile, you can get me pregnant just by looking at me.' She was in her mid 20's, with three kids, all from different fathers."
"I did not go back for a second date."
- Tallguy67ca
Weird Comparisons
"'You remind me of my mom.'"
- Icy_Alfalfa_6896
"This happened to me… I eventually met her and realized i don’t want to ever become them."
- ZealousIdeal_Face572
"Or 'you remind me of my ex.'"
- notthepapa
Acing the Test
"You have passed the preliminaries and are definitely in the running. Good job."
- Shiny_Whisper_321
Sad Trombone
"Not me, but my wife and I were having lunch near a college campus. We ordered and found a spot. There were two college kids sitting behind me. There weren't a lot of patrons so it wasn't as loud as it could be."
"With that being said, from the conversation they were having, we gathered it was a first date."
"Our food arrived and we started eating, and midway through, I looked at my wife and told her I was glad we were past all that awkwardness of figuring each other out."
"Another five minutes hadn't even passed, and I heard the guy telling his date that, 'At night I have to play really sad music because I can only go to sleep if I cry...'"
"When I tell you my wife and I stopped mid-chew and wide-eyed stared at each other... I started to turn around to save him from digging deeper, but my wife grabbed my arm and shook her head no."
"Then my wife said she (the date) had this. What she saw that I didn't, was the young man's date was in the process of grabbing her purse and leaving."
"He sat there for about five minutes after that and left. I looked at my wife and said, 'He's probably going to sleep early tonight.'"
- MastrShak3
All the Red Flags
"I’ve heard a lot of crazy and bad stuff on first dates."
"One told me her boyfriend was in jail and she will be with him when he gets out and she doesn’t want him to know that she’s dating other people. But that wasn’t the worst."
"Neither was the date that had six beers while we talked for a few hours and said it helped her anxiety (an alcoholic red flag)."
"The worst was someone that spent almost an entire hour telling me how unhappy she was with her life. I mean her family made her unhappy, her job made her unhappy, her body made her unhappy, her baggage made her unhappy and even her car made her unhappy. She was looking for someone that would sign up to help her make it all better."
"I told her good luck and thank you for the time. It was the best learning experience I had on a first date."
- palm_desert_tangelos
When No is a Complete Sentence
"In my twenties, early twenties, I walked in, sat down at the table, and the girl simply said, 'No.'"
"I got up, walked back out, and drove home. I say that sucked quite a bit, you know."
- randomdaysnow
Awkward or Fun?
"'You have the same name as my dog.'"
- BlueCanary434
"I’m laughing now, but if a guy ever told me that, I’d be confused and then would bond with his dog so hard. The stories that I could tell that would sound weird as if I were talking about myself would be amazing."
- New-Seesaw9255
Educational Matters
"'You know the earth's flat, right?'"
- WillKillz
The Second-Hand Embarrassment
"One time on a date, the girl wanted to pick me up. Weird but sure. So we saw a movie and then we grabbed coffee, and she was just driving me around."
"She mentioned work was so boring that day that she wanted to pull her hair out."
"Like an id**t, out of my mouth come the words, 'Don’t do that. Nobody likes a bald girl.'"
"She went quiet for a second and then said, 'I guess this is a good time to tell you that I have cancer and this is a wig.'"
"I still crawl inside myself with I think about that."
- KarateKid1984
We've all made mistakes in our lives and likely have said some things we didn't mean or that we wish we could have phrased better. But when we're trying to make a good first impression on a first date, there's a special sting to those mistakes that we make.
Back before we became self-conscious adults many of us sang our hearts out. But we weren't all singing the greatest hits of Barnie or Disney.
Probably more than a few of us belted out what we heard on the car radio, home stereo or streaming music services our parents or older siblings listened to.
Which led more than a few of us to expand our vocabulary beyond our years.
Reddit user Ok_Way_2341 asked:
"As a child, what’s a song you sang loud and proud, only to find as an adult it’s super inappropriate for a child to be singing?"
His Purple Majesty 👑
"'Gett Off' by Prince. My mother heard me sing '21 positions in a one night stand' and took the disc off me."
"It unfortunately belonged to my older sister."
"Got punished twice in one week."
"I still love that song."
- Cherrianje
Giphy"I was very very very old before I realized what 'Little Red Corvette' was about. Like mid-century old."
- Street_Roof_7915
"She had a pocket full of horses..."
- heatherbyism
"Trojan and some of them used…"
- Ferraenz
"I guess I should've closed my eyes, When you drove me to the place where your horses run free, 'Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures, Of the jockeys that were there before me."
- heatherbyism
"That line was so confusing to me as a kid."
"Toy plastic horses, maybe?"
- absentbusiness
GiphyMaybe not on that car ride.
"In the car, riding shotgun with my dad driving… 'I’ll make love to you, like you want me tooooo' - Boyz II Men."
- ADrunkenBotanist
"That’s in that weird intersection of 90s R&B that was tender and not necessarily nasty, but still definitely about sex.
"And sometimes, the songs were nasty, but if they were smooth, you could get away with it. 'Freek’n You' by Jodeci and 'Too Close' by Next come to mind."
- bearded_dragon_34
Who was it?
"'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy"
- AnimeTattooChick1836
"My classmate told me when she was younger she thought it went 'we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom door'."
"Seems a little strange that she didn't question the fact that they were naked, but yeah."
- No_Location854
"Oh no, I still thought it was floor."
"But for some reason my innocent little brain legit imagined just two naked people on their knees banging their fists on the actual floor."
"Ahhh simpler times."
- mikehawksux
GiphyMmmm... candy.
"The particular song that mentions 'I'll take you to the candy shop and let you lick my lollipop' left me completely unaware of its underlying meaning back then, as I blissfully enjoyed its melody."
- dimarikl
"That song is 'Candy Shop' by 50 Cent."
- Zcoombs4
We blame Austin Powers.
"'I Touch Myself' by Divinyls"
“I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.”
- Sorry_Rhubarb_7068
"I still remember the day my early 20’s self figured it out, that holy crap! moment."
- MyOldGurpsNameKira
"I figured it out when I was 14."
"To be fair, that’s a major hobby of pretty well all 14-year-old kids."
- dagbrown
Giphy"I forget what year that song came out, but I think I was around 15 when it did. (so about 1990, I guess?) I remember getting what it was about, but thinking I had to be wrong because it'd be 'illegal' for someone to release a song like that, so it must be about something else and I'm just too dumb to understand what it's really about."
"I had this weird idea as a kid that I was only one of the people on the planet who knew what sex was, so I assumed almost everything sexual related was an accident (as in, they didn't mean to make it sound like it's about sex) and it was actually about something else and I was too dumb to understand the true meaning."
"I actually made up a number once of people who knew what sex was and that number was 7. I thought myself + 6 other people on the entire planet knew what sex was."
"I honest to God thought this, by the way. I never stopped and wondered where all these kids came from if only 7 people knew what sex was."
- temalyen
Mini Monster
"My 11 year-old, completely innocent niece: 'let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick' [from 'Love Game' by Lady Gaga]."
"Me: 'Let's play a different song'."
- 314159265358979326
"Skyrockets in flight" wasn't about NASA?
"Apparently 'Afternoon Delight' [by Starland Vocal Band] wasn’t about getting out of school."
"I did not know that."
- HuellMissMe
Giphy"My mum told me it meant having cake in the afternoon, which made perfect sense to me because that IS delightful."
- HelpfulName
"My aunt told us 'Afternoon Delight' was about going to get ice cream. 🙃"
- Truecrimeauthor
"I thought it was about a picnic!"
- MoonLoony
"I thought it was about a picnic too!"
"In 3rd grade we were each allowed to bring in our favorite record and play it for the class."
"That’s the one I brought."
- _ThisIsOurLifeNow_
GiphyIgnorance is bliss.
"My friend's daughter used to loudly sing Katy Perry 'Peacock'."
"Literally Everyone: 'Ummm...'."
"Friend: 'It's a song about a bird, and you will not say otherwise'."
- domestic_omnom
Got milk?
"'My Humps' - Black Eyed Peas"
"Apparently they were not just talking about milk and Cocoa Puffs."
- happygolucky226
"No, that's that 'Milkshake' song [by Kelis]."
"She makes really good milkshakes, right?"
- CatOfGrey
Giphy"My cousin (4 at the time) loved singing the 'Milkshake' song."
"Then she and her sister were gently told not to sing it so they moved onto 'My Humps'!"
"I couldn’t bear hearing about lovely lady lumps, so I tried to find another song more appropriate."
"They settled on another Peas one 'Shut Up!'."
"Slightly more tolerable I guess, but there was no telling the girls to shut up because they’d just start repeating it back in song at you."
- 3rdslip
GiphyBut Uncle Luke was so subtle...
"'Me So Horny' by 2 Live Crew."
"My Dad once said 'It’s your mom’s favorite song'."
"Thanks Dad."
- Geriatric_Sloth
"When I was a kid, my little brother came into the room singing [from 'We Want Some P***y' by 2 Live Crew] 'Just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"My mom in outrage said, 'what did you say!'"
"He calmly looked at her and spoke confidently, 'All I said was just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"He was like 4 or 5 years old, that tape [Is What We Are by 2 Live Crew] was confiscated immediately."
- Tweedbreak
Uncle Luke of 2 Live Crew
GiphyAnd now for something completely different...
"In about 3rd or 4th grade I came home from playing at a friends house…said friend had been singing some weird song that got stuck in my head."
"So I stroll in and take my seat at the dinner table and start singing as loud as I can: 'Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I’ll sit on your face and tell you that I love you too!!'…my parents damn near choked."
"They couldn’t stop laughing and then told me never ever to sing that again. Luckily they were huge Monty Python fans…nothing I knew about at the time."
- roygbiv_87
*WARNING: NSFW*
Ah, to be young and innocent again.
Did you learn anything new about what a song really means?
Or did you sing something as a child that didn't make the list?
Share your story in the comments.