It's never attractive to gloat.
Though every so often, we can't help boast about our accomplishments or the accomplishments of others.
Even so, it can get exhausting to hear others go on and on about a recent achievement.
Particularly if that achievement might not exactly be worth celebrating.
Indeed, some people are so inclined to brag about certain elements of their life, that they often don't stop to consider whether or not bringing attention to it is, in fact, a very good idea.
"What is something people brag about that they shouldn't?"
Over-Medicating
"How much xanax they took and posting it all over social media."
"So many people in my high school took xanax like it was candy and thought they were the sh*t."
"Like congrats, you're now a vegetable for a while."- slav_squat_98
Being Mean
"Treating people like sh*t."- thickredhead27
How Smart Are You?
"Their IQ, especially when they got it from an online IQ test."- captainmagictrousers
Jane Lynch You Are The Weakest Link GIF by NBCGiphyHatred
"How much they hate their spouse yet stay together?"- holdmyicetea
Sleep Deprivation...
"How little they sleep."- NoSexAppealNeil
Questionable Perseverance...
"Going to work no matter how ill they are."- Reynoldssas
"Going back to work right away after having a baby."
"I had a boss that used to brag about not taking a day off even when each of his kids were born."
"I’ve met others that brag similarly."
"So, you are more dedicated to your job than your family?"
"Seems odd to me, but whatever."
"Do you."- Round-Goat-7452
But How Do You Really Feel?
“'I have no filter!'”
"I'm not talking about folks who, through no fault of their own, have difficulty with 'filtering'."
"This is about folks who are basically proclaiming that they're a**holes without saying that they're a**holes." - Reddit
If there's a trait anyone possesses which is most definitely brag worthy, it's having excellent self-awareness.
As they will know not to brag or boast about certain things.
But one should never expect those people to brag about anything.
They're too self-aware to do so.
Professionals Share Their Best 'It Doesn't Actually Work Like That Though' Experiences
A lot of people seem to have a lot of assumptions about the way the world works, and a lot of us don't have any experience to back up those assumptions.
Whether it's assuming that there absolutely must be another box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the back of the store that they can have if they can only convince the poor teenager stocking shelves, or that a photo editor will be able to magically make your blurry, pixellated photo look amazing, there's a lot of things people seem to think are true about different fields that just aren't.
Redditor Enguzelharf asked:
"What's your profession's myth that you regularly need to explain 'it doesn't work like that' to people?"
Stock
"I work in a hardware store and apparently people think we have a huge underground storage big enough to hide every product in existence."
"No, I can't just go and fetch a part for your 20-year-old fireplace or power tool from the backroom."
- Mjarf88
"Also- an extension cord with two sets of male ends isn’t needed for Christmas light installation. No, you didn’t but one last year. Yes, I know this. I worked here last year. We didn’t have them then either. There is a use for those cords but it’s not Christmas lights."
- pherring
"Retail. If an employee tells you they're sold out of that hot sale item. They're sold out. They're not hoarding them in the backroom, because f**k you. They know they're sold out, because you're the 10th person to ask about it, in the last 20 minutes."
- RagingHolly
Pain Meds
"Your terminally ill grandmother isn't 'becoming addicted' to her pain medication. She's dying in as much comfort and with as much dignity as we can provide."
- Aggressivecleaning
"As an add-on to this, the pain medication isn't going to kill them faster."
- fiducia42
"Honestly, I needed someone to remind me of this when we were at the morphine phase with my mom. They explain how they’ll stop all treatment and make her comfortable with the morphine, and somehow it just felt like we’d be killing her. The doctor took her time to explain that was not what was happening. I am a relatively smart person but in this situation I just really needed to hear this."
- Scullyxmulder1013
Antibiotics
"Antibiotics don't work on viral diseases."
- The_Max_V
Conservation Of Energy
"As an engineer, I have to explain a lot of time that the law of energy and mass conservation can't be broken."
- Bobraie
"Are you telling me that my childhood invention of a solar-powered car with a big lamp on it pointing at the solar panels *wouldn't* be able to run forever? I don't believe you.
- JayGold
"One time the HVAC went out in my office and my boss brought in a portable air conditioner. I asked where we were going to vent the hot air, and he was like 'What heat? It's an A/C, it just makes cold.' It took 20 minutes on a whiteboard to explain that you can't 'make cold,' you're just transferring the heat somewhere else."
- KickFacemouth
Accounting
"When someone finds out you're an accountant 90% of the time they will say "great, so you can help with my taxes haha" . There are loads of accountants who may never see taxes in their day-to-day and have minimal knowledge from their certification only."
- dahliafluffy
"So much this, and no I’m not busy in April because it’s tax season, it’s because the quarter just ended."
- jaaaaagggggg
Video Editing
"Video production. Your only options in the edit are what the camera captured."
- JhymnMusic
"Dude this. I have clients sometimes ask me to add slow motion to certain shots. 'Make it look slick and smooth.'"
"Well, you shot everything at 24fps so, no. It’s gonna look like sh*t."
- try_by
"'Just fix it in post' I will end you."
- DefinitelynotDanger
Grants
"There aren’t just buckets of grant money available for your wacky idea. You have to have a track record, an organization, a plan and a budget. It’s highly competitive."
- Soobobaloula
"I’m a professional grant writer too. The number of times I have to explain that the 'airport grant' cannot be used to replace East Main Street is too damn high."
- PrideofPicktown
"I tried to explain this to an interim administrator at the school where I worked. I had asked to meet and discuss ideas for grant projects, as writing grants had previously been part of my job. Wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t just say 'it’s for a school' and that would be that."
- Sheepeys
scrooge mcduck 80s GIFGiphyArboriculture
"Putting an angled back cut when felling a tree against the lean does absolutely nothing and will result in a tree falling on your house. Just pay us to do the job"
- spjnr
"Learned this the hard way when my landlord came over to take down a tree in the back yard by lassoing it with a rope tied to a water skiing handle and cutting a notch into the tree with a chainsaw. Turns out trees are heavy, who knew? Granted it was his house but my family living in it. We moved into our own place a little later and I’ve hired arborists ever since."
- Top_Chef
"Yep. Every good redneck knows to pull the tree down with a buddy's pickup."
"Preferably a buddy you don't like with a pickup that's not worth much."
- imdatingaMk46
Ordering In A Bar
"I work in a bar. People frequently ask for drinks to be “extra strong”, but when I explain that they can just order a double, but we can’t add extra alcohol to their drink for free, they look at me like I’m speaking a language they’ve never heard before."
- Fabulous_Piccolo_178
"For a strong drink you either have to tip very well every time you are in, or be friends with the bartender outside of work."
- Idrinktears92
"Pretty much yeah. But if I’m not behind the bar, I can’t ask whoever’s bartending to f**k up their inventory by just giving away liquor—it’s like people don’t understand that we keep track of how much is in each bottle and when the sales reports don’t match the inventory, it’s a problem. Like if you work retail and somebody asks if they can just add an extra item to their purchase without ringing it up or paying for it you’re going to look at them like they’re insane."
- Fabulous_Piccolo_178
Photo Editing
"Photo editing. It's amazing how many people think they can give me a tiny, blurry, digital image of the back of their daughter sitting on a park bench, with uneven lighting in the shade, and think I can magically and quickly turn that into a banner of her standing next to the Eiffel Tower, smiling in the sun, facing the camera. Neither Photoshop nor I have any idea what your daughter's face looks like. I can't just 'turn her around'. I literally have to work with exactly what you are seeing in the photo you hand me or email me. Now if you give me several photos, some containing her face, some with her standing, etc., then yes, I can do some quite magical things."
- nollaf126
"ENHANCE"
- whateverathrowaway00
Super Troopers Reaction GIF by Searchlight PicturesGiphyThe moral of the story is: if someone who is an expert in a field tells you that something is a certain way, it's probably best to believe them.
Many people live by the mantra that ignorance is bliss.
It's true, how being left in the dark about influential pieces of information is preferable.
For example, being cognizant about a co-worker's questionable private life can adversely affect how others interact with this individual if they object to their tendencies outside of the workplace.
Not knowing certain things can be freeing, a notion that was explored when Redditor Distantmole asked:
"What’s something you really wish you didn’t know?"
These Redditor examples are based on an occupational hazard.
Printer Expert
"How to fix a printer. Sometimes, I just play dumb when I'm asked..."
– jfincher42
Undervalued Employee
"I was the ONLY one who knew how to unjam the printer at my old job. And it was a lemon - it jammed at least once a day. I quit the job because I was overworked and unappreciated. My replacement left in less than a year. I hope they're suffering without their little resident unjammer. Thanks for letting me vent."
– KidsTheseDaysYknow
Parents are people too, and you wouldn't be here were it not for them.
So there's that.
The Origin Of You
"I know exactly where, when, and how I was made in grand detail. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to tell me this, but I now know and I wish i didn't."
– stitchmidda2
Making Waves
"I was conceived in a waterbed in my parents’ old condo. My dad told me when I was 15…"
– the_crystal_onix
Pulling Back The Curtain
"My father photographed all the births, me and my siblings."
"Each of us had a photo album growing up."
"They started with the photos of our births."
"My father took photos of us coming out.... of the vagina."
"This is the first page of my childhood photo album."
"Checkmate sir."
– joejill
Too Close For Comfort
"My parents told me they conceived my younger sibling in a tent with me and my older sibling while we were sleeping in the same tent. I did not need to know that."
– arkayer
You think you know everything about the members of your family.
However, some things about them are better left a mystery.
Grandma's Tactic
"Was on a vacation with my grandma in a shared room and she disappeared into the bathroom for 5 minutes, came out, I didn't think any of it and didn't care, and she came up to me and said."
"I have bad constipation right now so I shoved a bit of soap in my butt to help softening it up! Maybe I'll fart bubbles soon, he he!"
"That happened 6 years ago but it's burned into my brain."
– dinanysos
The Family's An Open Book
"Didn't need to know the reason I'm mums least favourite child and I certainly didn't need her to tell me what colour my step dad's pubes are. Didn't need my Grandparents to tell me that they had sex the night before on the couch I was sitting on or my grans favourite position."
"Also didn't need to know my uncle only has one testicle or that my dad was in the room when my cousin was conceived. My family is far to open lol."
– scruffadore
Infinite Capacity
"If you find an unlabeled videotape laying around burn the f'king thing just in case."
– Trav3lingman
The myth of mammals.
Scary Fish Tongue
"There is a parasitic isopod that gets inside a fish’s mouth, severs the tongue, and lives in the fish’s mouth acting as a replacement tongue."
I wish I didn't know about as Demodex or eyelash mites.
Oh, you didn't about them?
Prepare to have your mind blown.
There is a community of mites living in the pores of our faces.
Ever wondered why your face randomly itches when there's nothing visibly making contact with your face? That's because these little stubby boring worms–that are a distant relative of ticks and spiders–are having a party inside your fleshy dwelling, and they are grateful for its host to extend the welcome mat.
You're welcome.
America is in the know about a few things.
I know it seems we're crazy and hostile.
That doesn't mean clueless or blind.
Say what you will but the one thing we're not is naive.
We're blunt. Just roll with it.
Redditor Tell_me_why-wanted everyone to sit down, take a deep breath and listen to some hard truths. They asked:
"Americans, what is the rest of the world not ready to hear?"
Why do humans hide our heads in the sand? You can't ignore reality. At least not for too long.
400 What?!?!
crossover noah GIFGiphy"That someone personally spent over $400 million on a replica of Noah’s ark in Kentucky. Like actually. I’m not even kidding. It’s several football fields long."
Csj2454
Extremists
"Twitter/Reddit are probably the worst representation of American culture possible. Life outside these two platforms are completely different no matter what way you spin it. Reason being, extremist opinions are the ones that get the most fake internet points, so thats all you will ever see."
WRiPSTER
Psychos
"Most New Yorkers aren't psychopaths... all of us are."
You8mypizza
"I find this so weird - I've been to NYC twice. Everyone was super friendly. Like way more friendly than I expect other Scottish people to be."
"At one point we were standing (to the side, we're not animals) trying to work out how to get somewhere and a nice man in a business suit stopped and helped us without asking? Admittedly, NYC was less friendly than the less of the US, but still way friendlier than I'm used to at home. Folks in shops would talk to you, folks on the bus would hear our accent and want to talk to us, it was honestly exhausting."
BonnieMacFarlane2
"American pizza"
"I went to Italy and there was a restaurant selling 'American pizza' which was pizza with french fries hot dogs and more ranch than pizza. He said it's authentic American pizza and it's how everyone eats pizza over there. I told him I'm from America and I've never once seen anyone eat that. He told me i was wrong and it's how all Americas eat pizza y'all are crazy too."
Arik_the_Bruce
The Coolest
Season 2 Yes GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Henry Winkler gets even cooler after happy days."
myclueis
"Met him at a comic con. Nicest guy, let anyone take pictures with him and giving hugs to everybody."
Silent_Bob_82
Oh the Fonze. Who knew he'd get a second wind?
No Laughs
"M*A*S*H is better without the laugh track."
McFlyFarm
"I just listened to a podcast that mentioned this today (Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend) - apparently there was a rule that they could never use a laugh track while they were in the operating room. The guest of the episode (Stephen Merchant) explained how he thought MASH was great in the UK, then saw it in the US with the laugh track and thought 'My god, Hawkeye’s an a-hole!'"
jwilcoxwilcox
Sunshine State People
"The only reason 'Florida Man' exists is because of Florida's laws about the accessibility of crime documentation, which makes it a goldmine for tabloid journalism."
Agent_Onions
Bad America
"America isn’t the best by far, but as an African American I know the racism in other big countries is way more overt, I’ve experienced it and sadly realized America is one of the few places I can live in somewhat peace."
Low_Lettuce_8467
"No doubt. The racism in America can be very subtle at times but in other countries when they’re racist, holy crap, they’re freaking racist! Like mimic a monkey, throw a banana at you racist. It was wild to experience."
Concealer77
Still Important
tape bert GIFGiphy"The use of the Metric system is way more prevalent than you think."
Foresight2187
Americanized...
"American food isn’t just burgers and fries. It’s Americanized versions of all the cultures that immigrated here. Like hard shell tacos, ny and Chicago pizza etc."
idk-though1
"We have lots of variety."
Traditional-Ad-4712
"We did make buffalo wings though."
GoobsterInc
Color
"Racism is not just an American problem. I’ve heard so many Europeans say that only in America do people of color experience discrimination, and that in Europe everyone lives in total peace and harmony and no one 'seeing color.' Complete BS."
Geodudette2014
"I think the main reason racism is so heard about in America is shearling that we have more Black people. America is around 13% Black while Europe is around 3%."
"Surprise, sur-f**king-prise, racism is more vocal when there are more chances for it to happen. Also, we have for decades, really centuries, had equal rights be a constant debate. I find that when you hear about bad stuff a lot, it becomes more of how much of a thing you hear than the scale that is most memorable."
CaptainBlobTheSuprem
Not Exclusive
"America is not as exclusive and xenophobic as you might think. Nearly anyone of any origin can come here and be considered American. Whereas if you visit a lot of other countries no matter how much you know about or appreciate their culture, or how long you have lived there, they will never consider you one of them."
xthesavior
Oh Florida...
Prepare Yard Work GIF by City of OrlandoGiphy"The only reason 'Florida Man' exists is because of Florida's laws about the accessibility of crime documentation, which makes it a goldmine for tabloid journalism."
Agent_Onions
100%
"The government is not an accurate reflection of the people. The vast majority of Americans are moderates who have views all over the spectrum depending on the topic. I was really thinking about how its everywhere that the American population is either 100% left or 100% right like many of the politicians. It's so hard for bipartisan policy to go through because the majority of politicians, specifically on the federal level."
"Just go with whatever their side of the isle is pushing and not really making the decision based on how they view the proposed policy. Like how we keep getting stuff with 100% Republican support and 100% democrat rejection or vice versa. I could've explained it better."
spade13F
Get Fit
"The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] "
"A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start."
Super_Adventures
Travel Issues...
"We have more cities than New York, LA, and Miami. It's not just these 3 places and the rest is flyover country. Also, our country is HUGE. The bigger states, like mine (PA), you can drive for 6 hours in one direction and still be in the same state. I remember my family had to tell an English couple that was going to be in Erie for a week or two that we wouldn't be able to meet them for tea since we're on the opposite side of the state. That goes for flights, too; you won't be able to visit New York, LA, and Miami all in one or two weeks."
_Ping_-
We have enough...
Water Douse GIFGiphy"We have a buttload of fresh water. When the climate crisis is in full impact we will still have usable water in the country. I said in the country, not that the entire country will have usable water. The Great Lakes are one of the largest fresh water systems in the world. And if you are worried about pollution here, you clearly haven't been to much of the rest of the world."
Food Constraints
"Despite there being an obesity epidemic, there are many MANY children who are hungry. Unfortunately, the foster care system is a worse outcome sometimes. We have many, many hungry children."
RioBlue93
"Currently teaching 'saving and spending' to my first graders. They had to answer the question 'what is one thing you would like to save up your money for?' One of my students wrote 'money to buy some food.'"
BreezyBolognese
It's time to face realities. We can't ignore facts or life. Move along.
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We are living in an age of information, where thousands of published articles with millions of words are flying by our eyes at such a rate anyone not born within the last 50 years would have a heart attack knowing how much free knowledge is available.
And then there are people who maybe didn't pay attention in reading class and didn't quite understand the assignment. It's not enough to read something, you need to think critically about it, and have the skills and processing power to understand what's being presented to you.
Still, it's funny to read about all the dummies you might come across.
Reddit user, Kat_in-the_hat, wanted to know about the dumbest person you've ever met when they asked:
"What is one thing a person has said to you that made you think ‘wow this person is an idiot’?"
You expect television to teach us a lot, right? What you don't always expect is that sometimes the television lies to us.
Now You're All Singing The Melody In Your Head...
"A work colleague coming in the day after a visit to the zoo telling us that panthers aren't really pink"
Bumblebee-Bzzz
"I can almost hear the disappointment in their voice just from reading that"
Starl19ht_2
Curse You, Perry The Platypus!
"My ex’s brother in full confidence said lava was 2 words. Tried to explain its 2 syllables, not words. I was the idiot apparently"
"...for context we were watching a phineas and ferb movie they were all on a chain over lava. Phineas tells them to let go of the cliff and Candace says something along the lines of “I have 1 word for you! LA-VA!” And then his brother looked at us and proudly said “that’s 2 words, dumb@ss”. He was/is notorious for having little to no common sense"
RevolutionaryEggRoll
Still, you live out hope in this world that maybe there are intelligent people out there, willing to interact with us and offer us their wonderful insight into how intelligent the human race can be.
And then we meet these people.
Everything Has An Equal And Opposite, I Suppose
"That of course Cats and Dogs are opposites, like the opposite of up is down etc. And that of course they're not mammals..."
a-jm93
What Kind Of "Donation" Got You In To This School?
"In college a girl I knew thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. Like the sun turns into the moon at night. I was like how did you even graduate high school?"
Elicyz
That's Not No
"I know 10 people that have had covid and survived, there's 100% survival rate"
OnlyMeAndMyTh0ughts
People Who Failed Geography Now Offering Their Thoughts On Geography
"Years ago a couple proudly told me they had been going to Spanish classes for a year because they wanted to immigrate to Brazil. When I pointed out that they speak Portuguese not Spanish, I got told that ALL of Latin America speaks Spanish!"
"Even bigger idiot: I thought everyone was in on the brown cows make chocolate milk joke. But apparently there was still some idiot who wholeheartedly believed it."
[UsernameDeleted]
What Does She Think Women Do?
"A girl my friend knew said 'How do guys testicles store so much pee in them?'
"She was in her 20s"
-the-goddamn-batman-
...No Immediate Follow Up
"I asked my manager if I could go to the toilet. Me being a woman, I unfortunately bleed every month. I asked the first time and my manager said ‘wait’ and then I told him that I desperately need to go, very obviously hinting I am bleeding. He got the message, and was very aware I was on my period. He then said, “can you hold it?”.
melon699
We're Living In The Tablet Present
"While standing in the middle of Disney World and staring at a foldable paper map of the park in her own hands, my sister in law goes, "Why doesn't this map tell me where I am? These maps usually have a little arrow that says something like "You are here" so you know where you're at."
mox44ah
"You have to pay extra for the "Marauder's" feature."
Tastewell
Not...No, Not Those Kinds Of Bones...
"The government wants you to think we're running out of oil, we're not because it comes from bones. We could extract it from chicken bones".
"I was fascinated by how he had interpreted fossil fuels and then come to the most hilariously wrong conclusion."
zerbey
Once Again, No Immediate Follow Up
“You know bones don’t bend, right? Then.. how does..” Girl I’m talking to proceeds to hold up her pinky finger and wiggle it a few times. “how do our fingers move like that?” Genuine confusion on this girls face. I didn’t know how to respond."
Olli_lol
Dynamite Parenting. Really, Top Notch Work, Lady.
"Why should I be responsible for my son's late fees?"
"I dunno, lady. Maybe because he's 12 and can't get a job yet? Also there's the matter of the letter you and he signed when he got his library card that says you're responsible for any fines on the account, as his parent or legal guardian. Just a shot in the dark."
bowlbettertalk
You know, maybe it's better there are people this ignorant out there?
...I don't know the reason, but there has to be one, right?
People Who Failed Science Now Offering Their Opinions On Science
"The first person I dated after my amputation, freaked out over it and said to stay away because they didn't want to catch what I had, as if amputations due to cancer are contagious. This was right when Myspace had started getting popular, and texting costed you like, 10cents per text."
SlaterVJ
"I told someone I had a biopsy done years prior for melanoma but it was benign. It meant I didn’t have skin cancer. He freaked out because we had messed around (no sex) and he thought I was going to give it to him."
jukeboxpirate
Don't Assume Everything About A Person
"Since I have white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, that means there's no way I can be anything other than caucasian. I tried explaining the history of the Caribbean to her but she was adamant that anyone from the Caribbean or south of the border was tan/brown with no exceptions."
"I'm a white Cuban that's mostly spainard with at least a quarter black"
2baverage
Time To Put Up A Want Ad: 'New Roommate Requested'
"My roomate burst into our living room in a total panic and said, “you guys, i’m really worried! My goldfish hasn’t come up for air in a really long time!”
"When we explained to him that fish breathe water through gills, his honest to god reach was “👁👄👁 what”
cwatson426
Beware The 5G
"I don't want to take the vaccine it will make me sterile"
"You are 65"
zyzzfansikkunt79
"Most people don't understand the difference between impotence and sterility...they think its the same thing. So he gets an ignorance participation trophy beside his idiot award."
KlutzieKelpie
T...Cells...
"I have the strongest T-cells" apparently thats why he never gets sick and hasnt gotten covid. Dude comes into work sick all the time, he just doesnt acknowledge it. Now I cant remember exactly what he said but basically he makes it seem like hes a super human and his T-cells are literally better and strong that the rest of the human race"
nerdbird68
Let's all pledge to read a book today.
Maybe two.
Who's the dumbest person you've ever met and what did they do? Tell us all about it in the comments!
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