People Reveal How They Figured Out Their Sexual Orientation
Reddit user jacklawd asked: 'How did you conclude that your sexual orientation is what it is?'
When it comes to defining our sexuality, we all have our different journeys.
For some, it's not about arriving at a destination. It's about a constantly evolving state of being and the individual they find along the road to self-discovery and love that dictates who they are in the moment.
Nothing is ever set in stone.
And for others, it's about an innate conviction that informs their sexual identity, even at a premature age prior to having any sexual experiences.
Curious to hear from strangers online about where they fall, Redditor jacklawd asked:
"How did you conclude that your sexual orientation is what it is?"
For some, it was love at first glance.
Love Them Melons
"I was sold on boobs from an early age."
– maclaglen
Nudie Magazine Was Revealing
"I saw a Playboy when I was like 6 and my mind was blown."
– puma721
"Me too, I was 7 (female) and it definitely did something to me. That said as soon as I could could see porn with guys in it, that's what I wanted to look at. I've had sex with women but I never fantasize about them. So I don't really know what I am. Mostly straight but a bit bisexual I guess?"
– sravll
Study In Contrasts
"Look at woman with big chest -> Ooga Booga"
"Look at man with attractive body -> No ooga booga."
– IntermidietlyAverage
"Ripped dude -> good for him."
"Hot woman -> Oh, baby!"
– CCPMustGo
When You Know, You Know
"Basically this lol. I can look at a guy and say he's attractive guy with nice body but past that I'm just happy for him."
"See an attractive woman though and yeah thoughts are more like she's pretty I would want to take her on a date and do stuff."
– MysteryMan999
These Redditors were put through the test.
The Influence Factor
"Spaghettisexual - straight until wet."
– IllPanYourMeltIn
"'Six beer queer' is the other one."
– oopsneedathrowaway
"I've never felt more understood than I do right now."
– Malhablada
Very Fluid
"I'm kinda the same. I used to say I was 'straight-leaning pan' because I actively prefer and seek out relationships with women but a strong emotional connection isn't dependent on gender. Eventually I discovered the term 'heteroflexible' and immediately identified with it. My preferences are hetero, my heart is demi-pan."
– GingerlyRough
Innocent Observation
"I was putting clothes back on my daughter's Ken doll. My son asked why I was doing it and I told him it's because she took his clothes off. He wanted to know why she took his clothes off. I told him maybe it was the same reason he takes the clothes off her Barbie. He thought about it a moment, looked confused and said, 'But Ken isn't fun naked!'"
– KennyanneConway
It was never up for a debate, and experimenting wasn't an option.
Siren Of The Screen
"I saw Selma Hayek. And my brain shut down."
– 1w2e3e
"Hooolyyyyy SH*T. Do you remember her in Dusk til Dawn, or Dogma? Oh my Gawd. It's like a mental hard reset. My brain is panicking just thinking about it. Good lord."
– hail_SAGAN42
Just The Fairer Sex
"Idk I’ve always been attracted to women Never really wanted to try anything with guys."
– CephalonPhathom
Standing Bi Their Decision
"Saw a hot girl. Saw a hot guy. Thought 'yeah both is good.'”
– HailYourSelf717
"both?" "Both.." "Both." "Both is good"
– Attack_AC130
Hot For Teacher
"At 15 all my friends constantly talked about their crushes on our male classmates or their favorite male rock star. I was constantly thinking about my female teacher. My thoughts were never physical; they were about mundane things. So I tried to convince myself I wasn’t gay. But I knew I couldn’t talk about my feelings. One day in class I was sitting on the floor with some other students and the teacher randomly put her hand on the top of my head. I felt like I was going to faint. The infatuation lasted a couple of years. If I saw her walk by all the way across the cafeteria I would be in a good mood the rest of the day."
"A couple of years later it happened again with a coworker closer to my age. The constant thoughts started up, just mundane things like replaying our discussions in my head. One day I had to talk to her about something. I was standing about 3 feet in front of her and looking at her, and I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to breathe."
– mythrowaweighin
The thread demonstrated that many of us have fought against or contemplated various scenarios before being comfortable with who we are to allow ourselves to experience defining life moments.
Nothing is hardly ever black or white.
It's interesting then that the ignorant contingent repeatedly argues that people "choose to be gay," because that makes sense. Do they think people deliberately choose to live a life being constantly subjected to ridicule, judgment, and endless bullying?
Not only does that rationality not make sense, but, unfortunately, statements like that only invalidate the existence of people in the LGBTQ+ community, or worse, prevent them, from coming out of the closet.
Ricki Lake Opens Up About Her Struggles With Hair Loss In Emotionally Candid Instagram Post
In a totally candid social media post, the much beloved actress and talk show host, Ricki Lake, confided with her fans that she's been struggling with hair loss in secret for 30 years.
In the post, she claimed 2020 as her year to be liberated from her struggles and live a real life.
And her fans are here for it.
In a series of three photos shared on Instagram, we see a woman who certainly looks comfortable in her own skin. Lake smiles at the camera, her head shaved down to only the smallest amount of fuzz.
In her post, Lake was open about her career and the demands her hair maintenance had placed on her ability to travel, to work and in general to live her life.
But in 2020, there will be no more of that.
Lake confided:
"Liberated and Free, Me. First things first,I am not sick. (THANK GOD.) I am not having a mid-life crisis. nor am I having a mental breakdown, though I have been suffering.Suffering mostly in silence off and on for almost 30 years.AND I am finally ready to share my secret."
"Deep breath Ricki…. Here goes….. I have been struggling with hair loss for most of my adult life.It has been debilitating, embarrassing, painful, scary, depressing, lonely, all the things. There have been a few times where I have even felt suicidal over it. Almost no one in my life knew the level of deep pain and trauma I was experiencing."
"Not even my therapist/s over the years knew my truth.I know that by sharing my truth, I will be striking a chord with so so many women and men. I am not alone in this and my goal is to help others while at the same time unshackle myself from this quiet hell I have been living in."
Lake also explained that this all began as early as her Hairspray days clear back in 1988, when her real hair took a huge hit to make it big for the movie. Ever since then, Lake has felt pressured to keep up a certain look, which significantly limited her life.
@rickilake/Instagram
Lake continued in her post:
"Ever since I played Tracy Turnblad in the original Hairspray back in 1988 and they triple-processed and teased my then healthy virgin hair every 2 weeks during filming, my hair was never the same. (Yes, that was all my own hair in the film.) From Hairspray to Hairless. :("
"In my case, I believe my hair loss was due to many factors, yo-yo dieting, hormonal birth control, radical weight fluctuations over the years, my pregnancies, genetics, stress, and hair dyes and extensions. Working as talent on various shows and movies, whether DWTS or my talk show, also took its toll on my fine hair.I got used to wearing extensions, really just over the last decade."
"All different kinds, tried them all, the ones that are glued on, the tape-ins, the clip ins, and then into a total hair system that I hated, and finally to a unique solution that really did work pretty well for me for the last 4 or 5 years. I tried wigs on a few occasions but never could get used to them. It all felt fake and I was super self-conscious and uncomfortable."
"I've been to many doctors, gotten steroid shots in my head, taking all the supplements and then some. My hair would recover and then shed again. It was maddening."
@rickilake/Instagram
Lake also continued her story in a longer form over on Facebook.
Lake first shared what she felt she would be free of:
"So of late, after 2 months of bliss 'working' in London and after my last extreme diet where I lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks, my hair started shedding again, big time."
"This time, I say no more. I have to be set free."
"Free of the maintenance every 10-12 days, where my added hair would need to be tightened (sometimes painfully) and my gray hair would need to be colored. I felt like I was a slave to this maintenance schedule. I wouldn't go out of town longer than 12 days, because of this. I even brought my hair fairy and dear friend, to London during my stint there to do what she needed to do to keep it on my head."
Then Lake confided for 2020, it was time to let it all go:
"Well, it is a new year and new decade and a new me. With the love and support of some of my dearest friends, John Bonny, Mandy Ingber, Sarah Havana Prats, and my love, Jeff Scult, I buzzed my hair off and it feels so good!"
"Huge heartfelt thank you to my dear friend Amanda Demme for photographing and capturing this pivotal moment in my life. ❤️"
"I am liberated."
"I am free."
"I am releasing and letting go."
"I am brave."
"I am beautiful."
"I am love."
"For 2020 and beyond, I want to be real."
"(I will on occasion choose to wear hair, but now it is for fun, not because I am hiding anything. I am so done with hiding.)"
"Happy New Year and decade to all!"
Just as she predicted, Lake's message reached thousands of fans who identified with her story, both men and women.
They shared their stories and their thanks across Instagram and Facebook.
Ricki Lake / Facebook
Ricki Lake / Facebook
Ricki Lake / Facebook
@rickilake / Instagram
@rickilake / Instagram
@rickilake / Instagram
@rickilake / Instagram
@rickilake / Instagram
@rickilake / Instagram
Lake has since shared her story in an interview on Good Morning America.
It's incredibly heart-warming when someone decides to be themselves, especially when they have an image to uphold in front of a lot of people.
It means even more when the message they're sharing does something for others.
You can see the role that launched Lake's career, John Waters original Hairspray, here.
Who named Earth? It may be something we've all learned in school but for most of us, it's likely information we all have filed away as... not vital information. Information that of course becomes fascinating late in life. Who got to have that honor and why? And could they have some up with something far more interesting? Like Thomas.
Redditor u/ObserverOfReddit wanted to hear about some possible options besides "Earth" by asking.... If you had to rename Earth, what would you name it?
A New Poll Shows A Surprising Increase In The Number Of Self-Identified Bisexuals In The U.S. Over The Last Decade
When you stop trying to put people in boxes and let them identify themselves, it's amazing what can happen.
The amount of Americans who identify as bisexual has increased in the last decade by 2.2%:
3.3% total, up from 1.1% in 2008.
Bi update: Miserably bisexual at the moment.— BiBot (@BiBot) 1556286340
All human beings are born free & equal. 🌈Lesbian, 🌈Gay, 🌈Bisexual, 🌈Transgender,& 🌈Intersex persons must enjoy t… https://t.co/dneF3MKrAK— UN Women (@UN Women) 1556356505
I am a bisexual and bi stands for biodegradable because im also trash— féli (@féli) 1556143701
What's more, the rise in bisexual identification is mainly from women.
Share of adults in the US identifying as gay, lesbian or bisexual* www.theatlas.com
5.6% of US women consider themselves bisexual, compared to .6 percent of US men.
Share of adults in the US identifying as bisexual* www.theatlas.com
"Some people have said that this means new people are identifying this way, but I think actually this is an illustration of what happens as sexual tolerance becomes more mainstream," sociologist Tristan Bridges told The Daily Mail.
"It becomes less scary to sort of publicly identify yourself (as LGBTQ) even in an anonymous survey."
Bi update: I'm exceedingly compassionately bisexual.— BiBot (@BiBot) 1556372713
Bi update: I'm really angrily bisexual.— BiBot (@BiBot) 1556348241
Quartz.com attributes this new "safety" in identifying in the LGBTQ community to a few things.
"For one, there have been more (and more favorable) representations of queer people in the news, on television, and in film over the past two decades, with 2018 seeing record growth in LGBTQ roles on TV, with queer people of color outnumbering their straight, white counterparts by 50% to 49%, according to GLAAD's annual TV diversity report. The study also noted that Netflix is the streaming platform that has the highest percentage of LGBTQ characters, dominating outlets like Hulu and Amazon Prime."
INFO | Today is the one year anniversary of the 99 episode.. This episode is so special, even more so bc rosa came… https://t.co/B7VkIo1QJZ— Brooklyn 99 Updates (@Brooklyn 99 Updates) 1544017939
17 bisexual women TV characters who thwarted tropes and won our hearts. https://t.co/HJDVELxiAM #BiVisibilityDay https://t.co/FXunUUM98t— Autostraddle (@Autostraddle) 1537711200
One of my favorite female characters on TV came out as bisexual, and the next day I find out that she's also into game nights. I'm so happy!— M. (@M.) 1556375325
In honor of #PrideMonth here is a slideshow highlighting some wonderful bisexual TV characters and the fans that co… https://t.co/VKoIsN2Mg1— Yana Grebenyuk (@Yana Grebenyuk) 1528039201
It also went along party lines:
"Democrats were significantly more likely than Republicans to identify as bisexual (4.5 percent and 1.6 percent, respectively). Some 3.3 percent of independents said they were bisexual in 2018."
Which correlates to a rise in LGBTQ candidates running for political office. For example, Kyrsten Sinema, who identifies as bisexual, in the Senate.
And with the popularity of Pete Buttigieg running for the presidency, the picture of LGBTQ people in the US is more welcoming than ever before.
So go on out and take pride.
Proudly declare your sexuality in an anonymous survey, or whatever. It will pay off.