I've lost a few besties. Some through death. Some through personal growth and some just because it was time. That was an important lesson. Just like lovers, friends also outgrow one another.
I'm Exhausted
I Cant Modern Family GIF by HULUGiphy"I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself." ~ Wide-Fig-1063
Jake
"He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly."
"He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake." ~ FormerLurker3
No explanation...
"Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive." ~ Tionek
Trauma Tales
"I had a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn't super socially with it. I'm happy to listen when my friends need it."
"Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn't listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse."
"I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since." ~ keepinitcornmeal
It's Weird
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn't let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart." ~ mycowild
Yeah, beware the partner of a loved one who is trying to trap you in a scandal. They are shady. Take that drama and run fast and far.
Why?
Peering Looking GIF by MOODMANGiphy"No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying." ~ NagromTrebloc
Jared
"It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it."
"He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying."
"I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and Benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school."
"We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day." ~ SnooCapers1425
People Reveal The Things That Are Unnecessarily Expensive | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes shelling out the extra cash for better quality is totally worth it. It can cost money to keep replacing cheaper items repeatedly. But some items ar...You First
"Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn't deserve how I was treating her." ~ SuccessfulEggplant82
"Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot (and I mean a crap ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get through it." ~ Nakanon85
Oh Well...
"I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️." ~ Mr_Nonesuch
"Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?" ~ Yarray2
She's Gone...
"My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over."
"Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this crap and then leave me to clean up your mess."
"How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I felt like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was." ~ Scarecrowqueen
Far Far Away...
Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here." ~ ClutchCrgo
Dude... no!
"My best friend and best man in my wedding was married before me. I was still in college when he got married. He always talked about how him and his wife were going to have a 3 some. I thought good for you man. Shortly after I got married that changed to him saying he was going to hook up with this chick by himself as his wife kept chickening out."
"Um dude that's now cheating on your wife. He had a kid shortly after that and he was born right around my birthday. My wife was taking me out of town for my birthday and he invited me to his kids birthday party. I declined saying I would be out of town and he stopped talking to me." ~ overide
Too Soon
"She passed away aged 26. Cancer's a *itch. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure. Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless. (: " ~ Zirafa90
Distance...
stoned the young ones GIFGiphy"Slowly everybody just grew apart." ~ Altruistic-Growth-75
"Basically. Some got jobs after college. Some of us joined the marines, some started their own companies. Some got married and had kids. Here we are in our late 30s and we'd be lucky to hear from any one of us via text." ~ WallSauceMan
League of Legends
"I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy Xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy. I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship." ~ kadyrama
"borrow"
"He stole from uh... everyone. He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole butt wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. Moron never brought it back, probably never played it. Supposedly he did crap like this for drugs. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the hell of it, so who knows. I was not the only victim." ~ TitanicMan
"So help me God"
"Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH HECK"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically."
"He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that." ~ MagneHalvard
BLUR
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Honestly, they just expected more out of me than I was capable of giving. Just blurred lines and unrealistic expectations." ~ Pimpkin_Pie
RIP RC
"He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500."
"Anyway, he didn't show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school. I'm not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I'm pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC." ~ -Blixx-
One of the natural parts of life... saying goodbye. Or in some cases getting ghosted and forgotten. Either way, chin up.
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I've been in love a handful of times. And each time I fell, I fell fast and hard. And after each fallout I swore... SWORE... that next time, I'd take it slow and have a checklist to go through before an "I Love You." Cut to me falling faster each time that follows. Oh well. My heart is a mess. But, love has worked out for plenty of other people.
The Irritated
Come On Reaction GIFGiphy"I first met my wife when we were dating other people roughly, 11 years ago. She found me annoying. I knew it was meant to be when she confessed this a few years later."
fugly16
Getting Oriented
"Met my wife the first day of orientation week in college. Both of us were in long-term (multi-year) relationships already. Less than 3 hours later, I went back to my dorm room and told my roommate, 'That's the girl I'm going to marry.' Took over a year to start dating, but we've been together ever since (nearly a quarter century later)."
"She's the other half of me I didn't realize was missing until we met. DAMN I love that woman... I'm going to call her now to tell her!"
HellbendingSnototter
It's Easy
"I know this sounds early, but like, a week. I feel exactly the same now as I did about her then. I knew it then and obviously I was right."
BleedingRaindrops
"Same. Husband and I stopped dating on date 3. It was too much effort and we were far too comfortable with each other. You hear about "clicking" but you never think how easy it can be. You find someone that fits perfectly with you."
Shanisasha
A Quick 6...
married single ladies GIFGiphy"We dated for about 6 months before I started thinking about proposing, but we were together for almost a year before I finally popped the question. We were juniors in college and got married before we graduated. We've been married for 40 years."
schnozzberryflop
4 Years!
"My (now) wife and started talking about marriage pretty early on. I don't have a specific timeframe, but I'd say within the first few months. At that point it wasn't super serious and nothing planned out. Just like, 'oh, when we get married I want to have XYZ at the wedding.' or 'when we have kids let's do XYZ.' That kinda thing."
"We knew it was going to be a while before that happened, though. She was in her final year of college when we started dating, and I was only just starting my career. We both had things we wanted to do before marriage."
"Mostly she wanted to live in a place on her own, without roommates or anyone else supporting her, for a year just to prove to herself she was actually able to fully support herself. I wanted us to live together, just the two of us, for a year just to know that we were really able to cohabitate well."
"So I didn't propose until about 4 years after we started dating, but we pretty much knew at the start."
VVillyD
See that? Love is like a venomous snake that strikes silently and without warning. Once the poison is in you, it's over. So all you can do is succumb. Oh, that's a gloomy analogy. Whatever, y'all know what I mean. And so do a long list of lovers with a movie worthy tale to tell. Read on...
Happy New Year!!
"20 years ago we met in December for lunch after being set up by friends. Talked on the phone for a couple of weeks, went out for New Years. We moved in together a couple of weeks later, middle of January. Married on February 24th, 10 weeks after meeting. Somewhere in the first couple of weeks we just kind of decided to get married. Best casual decision I've ever made."
bustedaxles
Bling Discussion
"After dating for like three months he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and proceeded to show me his favorites. It was so sweet and I realized there's no way in hell I could marry another man."
Schnucksworld
with the seasons...
just married love GIFGiphy"We met in June, were in engaged by October, and married by the following July. That was 17 years ago."
rburgundy69
Daddy Knows
"I learned that he can defuse my dad's political rants without my dad catching on to what he's doing. It's very sly. Forget romance, that's a necessary survival skill and I needed him on my team."
"Edit: diffuse vs. defuse..."
"Also it was one of many reasons, but my dad is legendary among my family as the man you don't want to introduce your SO to before they're nailed down. He's a wonderful person and dad but he is kind of a crap-head. My husband gets along with him effortlessly. When you marry someone, you also marry their family. It's important that you're able to maintain peace."
Mannagggia
Smells like Love
"A week or two after we started dating she met my parents and farted in front of them."
SmokedByJesus
I Know You
"I had known this person by acquaintance since 2014. Asked me out in March 2017 - said no for 4 months. In September 2017 dated. In December 2017 he proposed, and in January 2018 I said yes."
"TLDR - 4 months after 1st date, but knew him for a few years before dating."
Jadhar303
Me & My Bestie
"5 months. My now husband planned this amazing road trip for my birthday where we went from Los Angeles —> The Grand Canyon —> Monument Valley —> Las Vegas. We had such an amazing time and he was the first person I spent that much time alone in a car with and didn’t want to kill lol. No fights, no bickering (even when a 4 hour drive from Las Vegas back to Los Angeles took 9 hours due to a massive accident)."
"We just laughed, had great conversations, and enjoyed the same music. I knew then he was the one I was meant to marry. We just meshed too well to not be soulmates; 6.5 years later (2.5 married) we still mesh so well. We’ve had maybe 3 verbal fights total, all of which only lasted a couple hours. Lucky to be married to my best friend. :) "
Smoky-The-Beer
Be Mad
"Probably after about 2 months, We had our first big fight and I remember when she offered to leave and I told her 'I'd rather be mad at you with you here, Rather than you leave.' That is when I realized it was different. 2 Kids a house and beating cancer later and we are still going strong."
Gorcrow
"Engagement Ring"
"I think I knew after two months, but after five months, I opened a separate savings account where I'd deposit an amount off of each paycheque to the account labelled 'Engagement Ring.' We were both still in school and I was working part-time on the weekends, so the deposits were more symbolic than anything, but in the end, they certainly helped out financing a good portion of the ring. That was almost twenty years ago and we'll still together."
BroodingBryanAdams
Immediate
In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"My wife says she knew on our first date. I'm a bit slower on the uptake. It took me about 6 months."
*ickMorningwood9
3 Year Rule
"I had a 3 year rule. All of my previous relationships ended prior to the 3 year mark. Either I realised they weren’t the one for me or they realised it, either way it always happened before 3 years. With my wife I proposed just after 3 years when I realised I had had no thoughts at all that she wasn’t for me."
Settledforthisone
She was there...
"Before we started dating. She was my best friend for a few years, and I realized it during that time. I just had to wait for her to break up with her boy-friend. Then we dated a couple of years. We've been married 34 years, and counting."
Trid1977
Scared
Biting Nails Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"5 years; I had a lot of anxiety, undiagnosed depression and OCD. It took a break up and some time apart to realize he was the one I wanted to marry. We've been together for 13 years and I could not be happier."
IsaacNoodles
'Of course she's in those plans.'
"I asked my Dad for advice on if I should propose to my girlfriend or not. We were about 2-3 years in, and I had plans to possibly travel, to leave Pennsylvania where both our families and us live, or get a job overseas. He said do these plans include my girlfriend or not? And that hit me pretty hard because I instantly said, 'Of course she's in those plans.' My Dad told me to marry her. The next day I got the ring."
ClemClementine12
Be Okay...
"Probably about 5 years. I had commitment issues like crazy, and he also had some maturing to do. We broke up for a year, then got back together when I realized that it IS okay to be content in a relationship."
xiaomantoubuns
Listen to your heart, that's not just a great song from the 80s/90s rock band Roxette. (Love them) It's also a mantra we should all embrace more. Just try to embrace it with your brain attached. Pay attention to red flags but don't ignore Cupid's arrow when you feel the sting. Life is too short. But take your time before you share you're bank account information.
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