I'm not going to get into it because I'd be here all day ranting about breast cancer ribbons, deodorant, baby soap, and farm fresh eggs. And how noooobodyyyyy cleans properly. Like Nobody.
Like a massive amount of the industry depends on how poorly we understand hygiene. Sorry. I said I wasn't gonna get into it...
What I *aaaam* going to do is turn the mic to Reddit. Proud_Silver1576 asked:
What is a hygiene tip/trick that everyone should know?
And you know how you read these Reddit list articles and you ask yourself "OK but does whoever they paid to put this list together even know what they're talking about or are they just picking responses at random or what?"
Welp, if you wanted an article compiled by a writer who is passionate about this one weirdly-specific bit of knowledge, I'm definitely your gal. So let's get into it.
And then go clean something.
The Smell
season 4 bummer vacation GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Floss your teeth. If not daily, at least a couple of times a week. Why? Go floss them & smell that floss. That sewage smell? It's from the food rotting between your teeth." - JeF4y
"If your breath still reeks to high heaven, take a light and look at your tonsils."
"You might have tonsil stones, which are deposits of things that get stuck in your tonsil creases. They look like white little lumps that can be poked out with a toothbrush or finger (depends on your gag reflex)."
"They're not harmful per se, but they stink horribly and definitely aren't helping your situation." - PlethoraOfSquids
"I resisted flossing my teeth for so long, only doing it when I could see or feel something between my teeth."
"Then one day when I was 31 I finally flossed everywhere just to see what else was lurking in my mouth, and UGH, it smelled awful, like an old person on the verge of death."
"Now I floss at least 3-4 times a week, if not every day. I do not want that death smell in my mouth." - VisualCelery
Really Wash It
Look Whos Talking Now Reaction GIFGiphy"Washing my hairbrush. I used to just get rid of the excess hair but that was it: I never rinsed it out. I wash it in a mild soap solution and rinse in very hot water and it makes my hair smell so much better." - IrishAmerican
"I did this the other day, I was pretty grossed out by how dirty the water was afterwards." - spitfire07
"Omg. Bc of product buildup, natural oils, dry scalp, wtf I'm doing this tomorrow thank you! Seems like common sense that a brush would need cleaning too 😂" - rayne-drops
A Safe Sexytime Shower
shower GIFGiphy"If you have plans to shower before sexy time, guys, know that a vag is a sensitive thing, and although some guy-marketed body washes smell amazing, the "smell good" ingredients can be really irritating for her during and afterward. Look for something unscented." - rach_jeffries
"Also, anything with a "cooling effect" or eucalyptus or menthol is a big no-no. Even if it doesn't burn on your penis, it can still sting in the vagina." - yeetingsmillenials
"And ladies, if you are sexually active and struggle with recurring UTIs or yeast infections, ask some questions about your partner's hygiene. Having them wash any bits that touch yours with hypoallergenic soap could help." - hananobira
Nasty
Episode 2 Goodbye GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Occasionally wipe down your doorknobs and light switches."
"When I was a maid I'd clean people's light switches and they'd be covered is brown gunk because they'd never been cleaned before. We touch them multiple times every day. They get nasty." - yarnfrog
"At the start of the plague I deep cleaned the office."
"The worst part was the door. Not the handle but the door itself, because everyone touches the same spot to hold it open when they pull their key out."
"Also the armrests on chairs. I swear I went home and took two showers from how nasty it all was." - shiguywhy
Feet Aren't Magic
Freedom Feet GIF by HysteriaGiphy"Wash your feet!"
"Most people I know seem to believe their feet magically become clean from having soapy water run down them while they are showering. That is NOT the case!"
"You really need to wash your feet. Also a good idea to take a pumice or foot file to calluses and use a hard nail brush for toenails."
"Keeping your feet clean will prevent a lot of problems, particularly with fungus. Funguses live and thrive on dead skin cells so if you have toenail fungus you will have a really hard time getting rid of it till you get rid of dead skin around the nails!" - internet_commie
When Your Brand Changes
Funk Do I Stink GIF by Women's HistoryGiphy"If your body odor starts to get REALLY STRONG out of the blue it can indicate some health issues."
"Slightly sweet, fruity/funky odor? Could be presence of excessive ketones in your blood. You might even notice it on your breath as well."
"If you're on low carb diet or on a weightloss regimen, this is relatively normal. If not... time to ask your Dr to do an A1C to check for diabetes. Ketoacidosis is no bueno."
"Smelling like fresh-baked bread? Wash yo sh*t."
"Change the bedsheets, scrub your mattress, wash your pillows. Especially wash the office chair you've been sitting in during this whole pandemic."
"You've been building up a yeasty sourdough starter. Alternatively, could also be due to the fact that you're eating toooo much bread and your gut is starting to grow its own yeast buildup."
"Also having excessive blood sugar/ketones due to diabetes can promote yeast growth on your skin."
"Low vitamin C, Zinc and Magnesium are also known to negatively influence your body odor as well."
"With the exception of diabetic ketoacidosis, these symptoms aren't immediately worrisome or direct indicators of a serious issue. Just something to keep in mind if you start to notice other symptoms popping up that may lead to a potential underlying issue."
"It's also worth mentioning that everyone had their own "brand" whether they like it or not. The thing that's important to note is what it smells like when it changes." - Campbellschunkycyst
Scrub
Cat Getting Ready GIF by GarfieldGiphy"Soap up a rag and actually scrub at smelly areas."
"After about 5 years of my wife complaining about how she always smells and sweats (I never noticed) during a joint shower I did it to her and the next day she said 'I never knew scrubbing was a needed thing…it worked wonders today, I always just lathered and rinsed!' " - neo_sporin
"I didn't for pretty much all my adolescence and most of my 20s."
"I think it's how I was taught to bathe, but once my mom was confident I was old enough to not drown, I was left to my own devices and just got lazy I guess."
"Finally read a comment thread similar to this one and thought 'okay, I'll try it.' Felt so much better after my next shower!" - Felix-Goldenrod
The Truth About That Vinegar Wash
Laundry Happy Dance GIF by Justin TimberlakeGiphy"Chemist here. Vinegar is an acid. Soaps are bases."
"Everyone raves about how adding vinegar to your wash gets things cleaner and brighter. All that is happening is that you are neutralizing some of your soap."
"Most people in the US use way more detergent than needed. And when you do, it doesn't all get washed off. That leaves a film that can then attract extra dirt. Now instead of your clothes being dirty with your scum, they're dirty with leftover soapscrum and it attracts all the scum."
"Another, cheaper, way to get the same effect you are experiencing is to cut the amount of detergent you use to like a third what the manufacturer recommends."
"Oh and towels seem extra sensitive to this. I will do a vinegar-only wash on my bath towels every few months. Helps get rid of musty smells developing and makes them softer and more absorbent." - quiltingbean
Bidet Buddies
Bidet GIF by Guava JuiceGiphy"Buy a bidet. If you're thinking at all about buying a bidet- just buy one. Buy a f*cking bidet."
"They make ones you can install in about 20 minutes. Just get a bidet.:
"You don't think you need a bidet? You need a bidet."
"Not sure about if you need a bidet? You need a bidet."
"Already got a bidet? Buy your buddy a bidet." - seasaltmaple
Now then ... everyone got all that?
Go. Wash. Something.
Sometimes the red flags aren't as noticeable from the customers point of view.
"Dirty dining room is a red flag. Same for washrooms."
"How fresh is the salad?"
"Noticing the staff fighting."
"Huge red flag would be seeing a manager or owner berate or verbally abuse an employee in public."
"It's tricky, a lot of the red flags are hard to see from the customers side."
"Huge red flag would be seeing a manager or owner berate or verbally abuse an employee in public."
"A couple years ago my family and I went to a local BBQ restaurant where this was happening rather loudly. We ate and got out of there ASAP. Spoiler: that restaurant is no longer open."
Saturday Night Live Ugh GIF by HULUGiphy"We have a locally owned mom and pop country cooking restaurant in our town. They have had the pull down fabric hand cloth machine for drying your hands in the bathrooms for at least 30 years. They are always pulled way out onto the floor and completely nasty looking. All I could ever think about was that the staff would be wiping their hands on them and then going back to fix our food."
Sticky floors.
"If you notice your feet sticking to the floor, turn around and leave immediately..."
:Sticky floors or sticky tables. Tells me that the management gave up a long time ago."
Although, maybe they're cleaner than we think?
"The tables and the floor are sticky in the Asian restaurant I work. We clean everyday but for some reason we can't fix it. Both, the floor and the tables are made up of wood. It is hard to take the stickiness out since they are quite old and have been used by 4 restaurants before. But the kitchen is clean though."
"It's most likely soap and residue build up over the years. We had the same issue at a restaurant I used to work at."
"The old owner kind of had a bad case of senioritis, since his son was going to take over. Once the son took over, he was real serious. One of the first things he did was shut down on a Tuesday, rented a floor scrubber, and cleaned the hell out of those floors. He also brought in a sander and sanded down the surface of the tables and restrained the table and bar."
"Took him a whole day, and some help from the staff, but man it was a hell of a lot better after that. You'll 100% lose returning customers if every time they walk into the restaurant, all they hear is the sound of soles peeling off the sticky floor."
Exposing the kitchen from a different perspective.
"My father and brother both worked as gas fitters connecting kitchen appliances and they told me if you saw some of the kitchens they have seen you would probably never eat out again."
"It can be hard to tell how bad a kitchen is without seeing it but they said if the restaurant area doesn't look great then chances are the kitchen will be even worse. They have stories like pulling an oven out to replace it and grease 3 inches thick on the wall with a dead rat and cockroaches behind it. 🤮"
"I worked for a natural gas company when I was younger. When we switched out a meter on a Chinese food place we had to go in and relight their appliances and hot water tank and all that. I walked into the kitchen and slipped almost falling down."
"The floor wasn't wet it was just that thick with built up oil. When I had to lay down on the floor to reach a certain pilot I saw that the dark greasy floor i was laying on was nothing compared to the horror that was under the fryers. I didn't eat at that building again until new owners set up and I watched them tear the kitchen down to the studs."
If the menu is more like a short story.
"If the menu is too big that can be a red flag. a huge menu means a lot of food types aren't ordered or kept around a lot. so that chicken patty or crab cake will be like one left in the back of the freezer all chunky and crunchy. they also likely won't have as much experience cooking it and it will be bad."
"This is why I don't eat at Cheesecake Factory. I only went there once and not only was their menu huge, the food I got tasted like it had been microwaved. It wasn't bad, but I expected a lot better."
- Omny87
Though, there are some exceptions.
"The outlier is Chinese places. It's 100 different dishes made with the same 15 ingredients, which is totally fine."
"Mexican restaurants too. Chicken, beef, salsa, cream, lettuce, beans, and tortilla are like 90% of the ingredients of 90% of the menu."
- Byizo
Warning: This is about to get gross.
"Dick's Drive In (a burger chain in the Seattle area) uses fresh-cut potatoes for their fries. Sometimes, fresh potatoes have fresh maggots. I was trained to just cook the maggots because you can't tell the difference between a maggot and a french fry once you fry it and put enough salt on it. Now, to be fair, in the year I worked there I never saw a maggot, but the fact that it's a part of their training is gross."
- jnx36
In case you were worried after reading this, it's not a very common occurrence.
"From a potato farming family here. They sure do. More so in the organic crops. Most maggoty potatoes gets sorted out and make for cheap animal feed, some get sorted out in the processing factory, and some sacks get thrown out once they reach the produce Isle. But you're never guaranteed a bug-free potato."
- SVCLIII
Know someone who worked there? Better listen to them.
"When your family/friends who work[ed] there tell you not to eat there. Don't eat there. Don't argue with them because you love the food. Don't argue with them because their stories sound absurd. Don't bring up a friend who worked there in the past and never told you anything like they do. Just don't fucking eat there."
If you can see the kitchen, watch carefully.
"If it's an open kitchen, look out for the kitchen staff wiping their sweat with their hands, on their phone, coughing, touching their faces, not washing hands. I saw kitchen guys grab raw chicken, wipe it on their aprons and make a salad and toss with the same hand. I stopped eating at that place after that."
Some of these may seem commonsense, but I bet there's a few restaurants you've been to where you ignored a sticky floor or an angry manager.
If there's anything we can take away from this, it's that sometimes we may never know what's going on behind the kitchen door, unless we work there ourselves. Trust your friends when they tell you something's up!
"Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here."
Believe it or not, people weren't always so concerned about keeping themselves clean. Some believe in misguided, old wives tales about germs. Others, unfortunately, are unable to care for themselves due to mental or physical health, or even finances.
Redditor u/joe691013 asked people for examples of the worst personal hygiene they've ever seen, and some tales were shocking and gross, while other examples were clearly a symptom of something more.
10. I wonder if customer's noticed
"I used to work retail and one day we had this woman come into the store who had not showered in months. She stunk the whole store up from just walking around. We had to ask her to leave due to hygiene.
I will never forget that stench. It was like low tide and a dead body had been sitting around for a month."
9. This extreme hoarder
"I work in an ER in a low income area, there was one that I'll never forget. She was a mid 40s obese hoarder who had decided it wasn't worth the effort to get out of her recliner for two weeks straight; she had a fridge within reach so she wasn't hungry but was producing feces and urine the entire time without getting up to use the restroom or to clean herself. You could smell her down the hall with the door closed and her behind was literally rotting away with pressure sores down to her bones."
8. I'm sure bad hygiene is a deal breaker for her now
"I have a girl friend who thought that it was normal for guys to have dingleberries. Poor girl was going down on a guy with matted turd fur."
7. Thank your dentist
"I had a friend with very low self esteem. could never find a gf. self pity type of guy. he had the worst grime/film on his teeth. I told him he wont find a gf until he cleans his teeth because its repulsive to anyone with any respect for themselves (in less words) he denied it saying someone will like him for him. blah blah blah. well one day his grandma paid for him to see a dentist who made them pearly whites once again... not 2 weeks later had himself a gf. still thinks it was never the problem."
6. Mints are not a cure all
"I worked at an engine assembly plant in NY state where everyone is in these 3-5 station teams that rotate every hour so you don't go crazy doing the same job for 8+ hours. We had this dude who came to our group who had the nastiest teeth I've ever seen in my life. His bottom front teeth were all fused together into one big, lower tusk. And his breath could gag a maggot. It got so difficult to work with the guy (you could smell his breath from at least 6 feet away) that we had to go to a manager to figure out how to handle it and not be dicks. Well they basically told him he needed to do something about it, so he constantly had a tub of mints on him. After that, his breath just smelled like a rotting corpse AND mint. So, yay..."
5. The nerve to just leave them there...
"I had a part time job at Uni cleaning out student rooms after the occupants had moved out. One room was left with no fewer than 28 bottles of piss that the occupant had decided just to leave in the room. The shared bathroom was next door."
4. No, dirty hands are just dirty hands
Giphy"So, I used to work at this really upscale vegan hot-pot restaurant a few years ago. The owner/manager was very adamant on how it's 'ok not to wash your hands because in my country, washing hands meant you're cleaning off the hard work you've done.' She was the only person who would, even after using the bathroom, we knew she wouldn't wash her hands, she'd use gloves yes since she'd handle food sometimes, but even then, still wash your ******* hands."
3. Maybe inbox them about it?
"I met a girl on a dating app...we got along well online...but she smelled like @ss in person. I'm talking fully clothed and several feet away, there was still a stench. I was really embarrassed for her tbh. She complained about guys ghosting her and not knowing why. I mean it's not easy to tell someone. I don't know how you couldn't be aware of it either."
2. Poor patient...
"I'm a nurse, so I've seen some ****.
But the worst would be a woman with scabies and fleas. I don't know how she got them, but she was so ashamed of having them, that she basically just barricaded herself at home for some weeks, until her daughter got her admitted to the hospital.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that everything on her jumped when you came close to her bed or she moved.
She had them everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE.
I spare you the description of her intimate area."
1. Don't touch any kind of poop bare handed
"I went to a friends house and she picked up poop from her cat's litter box with her hand, and proceeded not to wash her hands."
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