Finding love is something that nearly everyone hopes for at some point in their life.
For some, love practically finds them. They hardly need any time searching for the true love.
Others might have to work a little harder and be a little more patient. They never give up the hope that their one true love is out there, somewhere.
Then there are those for whom the search simply isn't worth it and have found themselves resigned to the fact that they may never find someone.
Whether or not that's how they want their life to be.
"Have you given up on love, if so why?"
Fear Of Getting Hurt
"To me the price I have to pay if I want to be in a relationship is I have to be vulnerable."
"And at some level I just don’t want to get hurt that bad again."
"I accept this, and have family, friends, work, hobbies, and things to look forward to."
"So while I wouldn’t say I have given up on love, I’m not looking for it and would be very wary of any new situation."- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Gotta be honest, pretty much have."
"The last person I loved romantically found just about every way to put me down and reject me, all the while pulling me back in repeatedly."
"It was not worth it."
"I'm going solo but still kind of hoping for Miracle."
"I like me."- ATXDefenseAttorney
Don't Have The Energy
"Yes, because I'm tired."
"Tired of going out to find someone to love, tired of getting to know a new person and being comfortable enough to fall in love, tired of learning new things about this new person and whether we are compatible, tired of meeting each other's families and getting to know a whole new bunch of people..."
"Being single may be lonely, but I won't be exhausted."- Avelevanstar
"Not sure if I've given up, but I am getting real tired."
"Having to get to know new people, putting my heart out there without knowing if I'll succeed this time, so tiring."
"I'm learning more about myself in therapy, and I've seen ladies' heads turn when I speak, I've been told I have a nice voice, but chasing a lady is so much work for so little payoff."
"Never had a girlfriend before too, and I'm hitting 40 soon."
"Each new lady is a learning experience but it's also incredibly draining."
"Sometimes I just wanna curl up on my bed and ignore the whole world."- Blim004
It's Given Up On Them
"I haven't given up on love, but I doubt I will ever love again."
"After 53 years and so many attempts that ended in tears, I don't think I will ever have that chance again for a variety of reasons."
"I spend times just trying to come to terms that I will die alone someday."- kalwayne3573
For Their own Self-Care
"Yes."
"For now."
"Need to repair myself so the next guy doesn’t have to do it for me."- Beginning-Match592
Lack Of Reciprocation
"Given up on love as I am the only one loving, the others just need me."
"When they're done, they push me away."- gameygamer15
Traumatized By Past Mistakes
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love?"
"So that's why, though I hope time will heal me or sth."- guess_I_feed
"I was in a 10-year abusive relationship."
"Unfortunately I didn’t realize until very late and then I ended it."
"It’s too much of a risk to meet someone again as these type of people are very manipulative and you don’t realize the cruelty they are capable of until you are trauma bonded."
"It’s not easier being single but it’s a lot less heartache."
"I thank my lucky stars every day that I got out."- corickle
"My last four love interests either cheated or 'found a girlfriend'."
"It's left me believing I'm just not a person who can be romantically loved."- Owlmystery
Happy Being Alone
"I’m not capable of giving someone my all and I enjoy my time alone more than anything."
"Two failed marriages later, we chillin."- HDTempo
Life Is Good The Way It Is
"I had a big love."
"It didn't work out."
"Now I live a truly beautiful life alone and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"I just spent the weekend with my friend, her toddler, new puppy and failing marriage and when I got home I nearly cried with the feeling of gratitude for my peaceful life."- spice-pop
"On romantic love, yes."
"I have so many social aversions and require so much space that I'm neither capable or interested to nurture such a relationship."
"I'm happier and more functional on my own."- USAIsAUcountry
Literally Don't Know What They're Missing
"Never been loved before, can't miss what I haven't experienced."- Allnutsz
Social Anxiety
"I wasn't socialized from the ages 12-22 and have severe social anxiety."
"It's hard to meet people when you're terrified of them."- owe-me
The true romantics should never give up the hope that their soulmate is out there, somewhere.
That being said, being without a partner is nothing to be ashamed of.
As the only person in control of your own happiness, is you and you alone.
People Describe The One Quality That Makes Someone Instantly Interesting
What is it about someone that captivates you instantly?
Could it be the twinkle in their eye as they talk about their passions? Or perhaps its their overwhelming sense of humor that draws in everyone in the room?
Whatever it might be, everyone has that one trait, that one quality, that can make them instantly interesting to someone listening nearby.
Reddit user, _GreyX, wanted to know what snags your attention in someone when they asked:
"What's one thing which makes someone interesting to you instantly?"
It doesn't even have to make sense why that person is interesting to you.
If they're only funny to you, and no one else, doesn't matter.
You'll sit, listening to them, for as long as you can.
Make Me Laugh
"Sense of humour"
Full_Throttle33
"I have entire relationships that are built on mutual humor. Sincere humor is the best, when someone can be their full selves with you - serious moments are appreciated and occur but our love language with one another is our ability to laugh together."
pnwstep
You've Seen Things Others Haven't
"If they have traveled outside their home country or have lived/are living outside the home country."
sqdot
"As someone who spent the last 15 years outside my home country, this is normal for me, or that they’ve learned a second language.(I have too just not always the language of my host country)."
Mixedstereotype
Math And Numbers All The Way
- "If they're interested in math I instantly love them. Haven't met anyone tho"
- "Funny sarcasm a bit situational, but if someone is good at using sarcasm in a gunny way I want to be they're friend."
Totally Got Into A Fight With A Bear
"Facial scars, and not ones done intentionally. If you got a big ol scar on your face, you've seen some sh-t, and I am dying to hear about it."
The_Patriot
"I have a fairly prominent scar close to my eye that I got from walking into the corner of a table as a 2yo."
"Can't say I've seen sh-t, but I sure as sh-t didn't see that table."
qnrd
Conversations are tricky to navigate, especially when you think you'll do nothing but bring the group chat down.
That's why when someone perks their ears up to give you the floor, it's intriguing.
Let's Talk TOGETHER
"They draw people into the conversation by finding topics of mutual interest."
Back2Bach
"A great tip for doing this is to abandon any embarrassment at knowing nothing about someone's passion. Instead of trying to change the subject or staying quiet, ask the basic questions that come to mind."
"You'll find there are two types of people - those who delight in explaining why they're so passionate to you in a way that makes their passion practically contagious and those who can't be bothered making an effort. The first group are the ones you want to talk to anyway, as they not only match the effort you made but make it effortless for both parties."
texanarob
Take Your Time. I'll Listen.
"People who can find the sentence through all the stuttering I do and are actually interested to chat for an undetermined amount of time"
thiccccpotato420
"Hang in there buddy! It's a shame how society treats people who stutter! I'm a speech therapist and the biggest problem for my patients isn't the stuttering, but the inability of other people to just take a little bit more time and let them finish their sentences on their own time"
pugglik
Or Maybe We Don't Need To Talk At All
"Ability to enjoy and appreciate comfortable silences without having the need to constantly talk."
howwouldiknow
"Seriously."
"Nothing's more annoying than someone who constantly talks just to fill the air."
Sweet_Taurus0728
You don't know why, you just know how it feels.
It's a gut thing, deep down inside, that lets you know this person is something special.
Let It Out
"Passion. Doesn't matter about what, they could be passionate about installing toilets and I'd listen to them. I find it infectious."
Confident-Fee-6593
"YES fully f-cking agree. My friends always apologize when they go on about something I’m not into/haven’t even heard of, but I could listen to it for hours. Just hearing the excitement in their voice and seeing their eyes light up just soothes my soul."
hi_j1nx
"They’re not afraid to like things. I’m so bored of people whose personality is based around not liking things or being too cool for things. Coming from someone who used to be extremely cynical — cynicism is boring."
nineelevenairways
Eyes That Make You Feel
"Their eyes. Some people have very kind eyes and I’m extremely attracted to that."
snarfymcsnarfface
"Omg this. So far I’ve only met one person with really kind eyes and there was a time when I was in bed just crying about it cause whenever he looks at me it’s like all the mistakes I’ve made in my life doesn’t matter"
WittyRich
Speak Your Truths
"Honesty. Even at their own expense. Extremely attractive trait in friends or significant others."
Detharal
"Double this. It comes down to being able to accept wrong and being unafraid to open themselves up to judgment, criticism, and consequences of action, which is a huuuige display of strength, and == hot. Dishonesty is insecurity at best, malice at worst."
acidnbass
Trust your gut.
You never know what kind of fascinating individuals you'll be lucky enough to interact with.
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Listen, the phrase "honesty is the best policy" is one of those things we say, but we don't really mean as a blanket statement. Honesty is not, has never been, and will never be the best policy in every situation.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not out here advocating for lying our faces off - but there are some situations where the truth just isn't necessarily the kindest, safest, or most productive route.
Don't believe me? I'll prove it with the help of everyone's favorite website, Reddit. Reddit user tinythunder15 asked:
When is lying better than being honest?
The responses were full of situations that some of us may never even have imagined, some of which we hope to never find ourselves in. Take a look, but brace. Some of this got really, really sad.
No Need To Relive It
"When the patient with dementia asks you, again, where their deceased spouse/child/other very important person in their life is."
"Telling the truth only makes them relive the horror and despair of finding out that that person has passed away all over again."
"I worked with a guy who had dementia and killed his wife. He was in an inpatient psychiatric facility that was locked and secured. He couldn't remember anything for more than 20 minutes. He would regularly ask us why his wife wasn't coming to visit him. One time his son told him out of spite and he flew into a self destructive depressive rage."
"Half hour later the guy didn't understand why his knuckles were bruised and sore and why the wall was bloodied. He seemed like a really nice guy and had created this persona that he was a loving husband who would do anything for his wife, wrote her three love letters a day, and wanted to help others. It's almost like he forget he was this jealous monster who killed his wife when she tried to divorce him."
"In either event, we just stopped telling him. We would say "Maybe tomorrow" knowing that he wouldn't remember asking us by lunch, let alone tomorrow."
"Does telling someone the truth and dropping crushing news on them making them come to the realization that their world is a lie and they killed the person they loved the most 5-6 times a day when they can't do anything about it or change who they are through introspection really benefit anyone?"
"I can think of instances where I was genuinely ok with lying - and they all focused around caring with people with memory issues. Sometimes it was about granddad being dead, other times it was about forgetting to do mundane stuff that didn't really matter. For example if they asked around naptime: "Did I start the laundry?" I would just say yes, then go see if the laundry is started once she's asleep, and if not, I would start it."
"Sometimes people with those issues ask if they're a burden, or if you're ok. You tell them they're not a burden, and you're ok... because I mean, wtf else are you gonna say? "It's hard, and yes, it's a burden, but you're family, and you couldn't stop me from caring for ya if you tried." They wouldn't understand and it would make them feel guilty."
I wasn't ok, but I always told her I was doing fine. Sometime grandmom was a proper wench to me towards the end (dementia sucks), but when she was having lucid moments and asked about how she was doing at other times, I told her she was fine and generally just sleepy. There was no point in making her feel bad over something she can't control."
""So... generally, when people are in their sunset years I'm fine with lying for kindness. I'm not necessarily gonna say what's "better" because it isn't on me to judge you; but I'll say that I understand people in those situations are all just doing the best they can, and I don't fault people either for lying, or for telling a harsh truth every once in a while."
Only The "Mentally Strong"Â
"Interviews. I was asked so what have you been doing the past year because it had been over a year since my graduation. I, like an idiot, answered honestly and replied that I was in a depression, but now I'm fine."
"So when the the roll call came for the name of selected candidates the first thing the person who was announcing said that they needed "mentally strong" people. Okay, then."
The Ambulance Lie
"Telling someone in the ambulance that they're going to live."
"I have a friend who is an ambo. He tells patients he's never had someone die in his ambulance... which is technically true. Because they refuse to declare someone dead in the truck, because otherwise they have to drive to the morgue and fill out a bunch of paperwork. Instead, they continue to administer CPR until they get to the hospital and let the on duty doctor declare the time of death. That way the body is the hospitals problem and not theirs."
"I was looking into becoming an EMT a few years ago. They taught us never to tell a patient they're going to live. Instead, you're supposed to dodge the question by saying, "We're doing our best to help you."
- Alinda_
"You've never had to lie to someone in the back of an ambulance then. When someone is dying, those BS platitudes are pretty obvious."
"SCENARIO : You're the single occupant of a vehicle driving between 50-70mph that has struck a deer at night. The deer entered the passenger compartment. The antlers of the deer have penetrated your chest."
"An ambulance arrives 16 minutes after the impact (this is practically light-speed if you're rural) and the ambulance crew (EMT-B and EMT-P..because you're lucky and it's a 3-person crew) look at you, as you realize you feel cold and numb and you ask "Hey...am I going to be OK?"...as you cough up some blood from the growing hemothorax in your chest..."
".....uh....*ahem......er...."!!!!WE ARE DOING OUR BEST TO HELP YOU!!!!"......please don't die....."
"you hear.. in a robotic, terrified voice... from the EMT who is working on you. You feel good about that.... or maybe you want someone to lie to you (because who knows... maybe they're wrong and you're gonna live anyway?)"
"It just doesn't always work. You go ahead and tell people who are dying that you're not allowed to discuss statistical averages... see how well that goes down sport."
Safety Over Honesty
Giphy"When you're lgbt and your parents are extremely homophobic/transphobic. Basically, when telling the truth will put you in danger."
"If you're gay in Iran, its definitely better to lie."
- Toad_0
White Lies Save Lives
"When you are speaking to a person who is about commit suicide. Speak as if life is better, even if it isn't at the moment. I'm not saying you should 100% lie, but if you lie (in case you NEED to lie) enough to get that person to seek help instead of committing the act, you will understand the need of a little lie."
- SooWh4t
"As someone who's been on the other side, I'm glad my best friend lied when he had no f-ing clue what was really gonna happen. I'm here today and I'm thankful."
A Hideout
"If a guest at my hotel is hiding from an abusive SO or parent(s) and the abuser(s) show up or call looking for them, I'm certainly going to lie and say I've never heard of the person they're looking for. I've worked in hotels for nearly two decades, and on a few occasions over the years have actually dealt with this situation."
Lying To Kids
"I fully support lying to kids. Whenever they make a crappy art project, tell them it's great. Sing terribly along to a song, tell them it was great. I want my kids to be confident. There are enough people in the world who are going to tell them they suck, they need to KNOW that there are people who will think they and what they do is awesome."
Maybe To Protect Them
"It's a feeling, I want to tell my parents that I had a horrible day at school and that I feel sad but... I just can't... it's better that we are happier. Maybe it's to protect them, maybe it's to prevent them from prying, or maybe take action."
A Matter Of Public Safety
"I had a friend who's grandma had severe dementia. She'd get out money to pay for a delivered pizza, and when the pizza came, she couldn't find it. She also would be driving and forget where to go and blackout sometimes. My friend ended up telling her grandma that she got her license taken away to protect her and everyone else on the road."
- Yawang04
CPR And Everything
"When there's a vehicle accident and the involved party asks you if the other party is okay and you know they're dead."
"The driver was performing CPR and everything on this dude who was drunk riding his bicycle on the wrong side of the road with no lights at night. It wasn't his fault, but he never could have lived with himself."
"We held the scene (as we usually do when there's a fatal accident) and I had to lie to the driver that the bicyclist was okay in the hospital."
- anticsd
Call Me Shallow
Giphy"Breakups, sometimes."
"May be an unpopular opinion, but I think there are times when lying to someone about why you are breaking up is the right thing to do. To be clear, I only think this is a good idea if it is a very young relationship or you haven't been dating very long. If you are in a long term relationship, you owe it to that person to be honest at that point."
"So for instance, earlier this year I was dating a girl for a bout a month. Initially I wanted to make the relationship work, because she was a really sweet girl. But as we saw each other more and more, I started to realize that I just wasn't that physically attracted to her. Call me shallow if you want, but physical attraction is an important thing in a relationship. I thought that maybe I could gloss over this in light of her other qualities. But it became something that I started to think about more and more."
"So I eventually decided to break things off with her. When I did, I just told her that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship right now and that we should probably just be friends. Which was a lie. But being honest with her would have meant saying something like "I just don't find you that physically attractive." Which to me, is far more damaging and just kind of mean."
"Whether or not people want to admit it, I think that this is honestly pretty common. With a great many breakups, there's the reason that they gave you, and then there's the real reason."
Tell Them When They're Older
"When my kids ask about their grandfather, my father. All the young kids in my immediate family think he died from a heart attack. Truth is he shot himself while both him and I were home. When they're older i tell them the truth, but no need to put that on a little kid."
Your Number
"How many men (as a woman) you've slept with. It really makes them either upset that they probably aren't the "best," or upset they aren't the first. It's truly a double standard I hate."
The Truth Is Dangerous
"It might be a messed up idea, but if lying helps you in a situation or simply makes a situation better than lie. I mean yeah if the situation will be resolved or handled better with honesty then, by all means, tell the truth. They say the truth will set you free, I, on the other hand, say sometimes the truth is too dangerous."
Unnecessary Harm
"When the truth would cause unnecessary harm."
"A friend of mine was prepping to break up with her fiance, and then she died after some medical complications. They were living together and planning their wedding at this point. At her funeral I recounted some sweet stories of them together that she had shared, and told him how much she loved him."
"Telling him anything else would have been cruel. She isn't coming back, and there would be only pain from knowing the truth."
Chillin' With Jake
"When you're still living with your parents but your leaving to go have sexy time."
"Hey guys, going to chill with Jake, might spend the night. Dont wait up!"
"Am I going to tell my saint of a mother I'm going to have premarital sex? Never ever!"
Plated
"Here's my story. My (now) wife bought an engagement ring off the internet. She read 18k gold so that's what she thought she got. Well turns out it was 18k gold PLATED over lead. How did I find out? Stones kept falling out and when the jeweler cleaned it, it basically became nothing."
"I knew she'd never forgive herself if she found out. So I paid for the mold to be made of the exact ring with real gold and stones. I will take that to my grave."
Gestapo
"The Gestapo is knocking on your door, asking if you're hiding anyone. You are. LIE."
Thanks to these Redditors for breaking down when the best time to lie is.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Life is all about love and hard truths. There is no way around it, being hurt, feeling pain and having to do difficult, soul crushing things is inevitable. We all dread those moments in life when you have to look someone in the eye and have one of "those" conversations. But through pain will come triumph or... more pain. It's a toss up... it's why we have vodka.
Redditor u/paytie wanted to discuss some hard truths by asking... What's the worst conversation you've ever had to have?
Lawyers and court employees Reveal The Most Ridiculous Things They've Witnessed In Court
Working within the law can be one of the most difficult workplaces in life. Lawyers, judges, bailiffs, court stenographers... they have been witness to some of the craziest society has to offer. Everybody out there has job stories but, the people who show up before a judge might just take the cake. You have to wonder... "do these people actually want to roam free?" Or are they still high?
Redditor Max_Fenig wanted members of the judicial system to regale us with some stories asking... Lawyers, judges and other courtroom workers of Reddit, what is the most ridiculous thing you have seen in court? Pull it together people!