Redditor iicebath wanted to hear about all the crazy things delivery people have witnessed, so they asked:
"Delivery drivers of Reddit, what are some standout moments?"
Reminder: please tip generously because you never know what your delivery folks have been through that night.
Spark it Up
Chris Tucker Smoking GIFGiphy"A guy offered me weed. After I refused he insisted on giving me something, so he went opened a package of nutter butters. I grabbed a handful. They were good."
Tech_Enthusiast49376
WEEERRKKKK!!!
"Walked into a giant skyscraper in central London to deliver a parcel for a guy named Thomas, at the reception I'm told he will be in his office, so I walk in and find him dancing by himself in the corner with no music or AirPods or anything, he's facing the corner just doing the Carlton, so he had no idea I was just standing and watching."
"I leave the room and just try to reevaluate what I just witnessed, when I walk back in he is standing behind a table acting like nothing just happened. So I hand him my parcel and he just thanks me and signs for it. I have never got a delivery from Thomas to this day."
jamessaleh190e
Corpses
"I used to collect biohazards from doctors' offices, hospitals, and other places. I think people that work in funeral homes like to mess with the living. I saw way too many dead, naked bodies at that job. Did that job for 6 years and then went back to slinging office supplies. I have not seen a dead body since."
unhalfbricklayer
blah blah blah...
"I used to deliver Appliances for a major home improvement store. I'm at the end of my shift and standing at the back of the truck finishing up my paperwork in a... not great part of town. Suddenly I hear someone walking up behind me and turn to see three young men approaching my truck."
"My initial instinct is to just be, 'take what you want, blah blah blah,' but as soon as I'm about to go into my prepared statement the guy asks if I have any leftover boxes because they have to help his aunt move the next day. So I got rid of all my cardboard in one shot and had one less thing to worry about when I got back to the warehouse."
plucky13
Just Chill
Chill Leopard GIFGiphy"Delivered food to a guy on Friday afternoon. He answered the door in his hi-viz vest and tighty whities. I've never seen a man more chill with himself than that dude."
Thrownawaybyall
People really have no shame sometimes.
Not a Drop
Happy New Year GIFGiphy"I left the drinks on the roof of my car and made it to a stop light two turns away. A guy behind me got out of his car and handed me the drinks through the window and I was so shocked that nothing spilled I couldn't even thank him. I just exclaimed 'Omg how did they not spill!' and he ran back to his car."
unseenwreckage
'Oh, you're here!'
"Pre cell phone and gps days (1979), I was delivering carpets to an unfamiliar town. We got high to start the trip, lost the directions, but knew the address. We were so lost. We drove until we saw some people in a yard, and stopped to ask directions. Before we said anything, they said 'Oh, you're here!' We somehow found the right house. We dropped off the carpets, no complaints the next day. It must have been the right place."
eightfingeredtypist
Keep the Carvel
"Did Doordash for some extra cash on the weekends about 3 years ago. Had a Carvel order going to a funeral home. In my head I was thinking it was definitely a funeral where some kid was so upset that they ordered ice cream to calm them down and cheer them up. I arrive to the funeral home and it's empty."
"I knock on the front door and a few seconds later a dude answers in nothing but his boxers. Behind him another dude was looking at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. That dude was also in nothing but his boxers. Weird sh*t to be happening inside of a funeral home."
F_a_username
Deliveroo
"I'll never forget when I worked for Deliveroo arriving at the customers door, lifting up the big bag of food to hand it to them, and the entire bottom of the bag fell out, leaving their whole order spilled across their door step. I remember their face of pure shock so vividly. I offered to help clean it, of course, but they refused, I think they just wanted me outta there, haha."
MacyTmcterry
Preparation & Dessert
Licking Ice Cream GIFGiphy"Still my favorite delivery. On a Saturday night, they ordered a pint of gourmet ice cream and a box of condoms."
fd1Jeff
There is so much to learn about people from their deliveries... and I am SHOOK!
Redditor littleallred008 wanted to compare notes on all the degraded quality in the world of retail.
"What has simultaneously gotten worse and more expensive?"
Fast food in general. Wendy's? Your potatoes are shriveled and sad. They used to make me happy.
Ronald?
big mac 80s GIFGiphy"Big Macs. That burger 'patty' is a stones throw away from being a slice of roast beef."
badmangoodguy
Read Closer
"Cable/ Internet providers. Oh yes sorry your trial period was over, your bill went up 200 dollars. Oh no we didn't promise you 200mb/s download speed constantly, we said UP TO. read the fine print."
demonardvark
"In the US, if you’re lucky enough to live in a place with more than one option, call and threaten to cancel (speak with retentions) at the end of your contract."
"You should be able to renew at a better rate (maybe not as good as the trial offer). I actually just switch every year between Comcast and AT&T. I just set a calendar reminder for the following year once I sign a new contract. It’s a small hassle but worth it to save hundreds per year."
sameoldtexans
Skin
"I swear that Reese's peanut butter cups have gotten shi**ier over the years. the peanut butter seems chalkier and the chocolate tastes blander.
Plus I can't ever seem to pry them out of that little cup wrapper without leaving the bottom chocolate 'skin' stuck to it...
"I think the push to put them in the freezer and eat them chilled is a ploy to cover the declining quality."
thatstupidthing
No place like no home...
"As someone shopping for a house, I have to say homes. Not only has the real estate market been ridiculously inflated (especially in NYC, my residence), I'm finding that the actual quality of a lot of these homes are absolute crap. Due to the ability to find and source cheap materials and labor, developers are able to make huge profits off high prices and low costs. It's making me really rethink if I want buy a house, or just use all that money to aggressively invest."
orange_cuse
Not so Wild
I Hate You Wings GIF by The BachelorGiphy"Buffalo Wild Wings. I don’t know if it’s just me, but their prices have gone up and the quality has gone down."
ChongerHonger333
From my reviews, wings in general have just taken a hit.
Never Lasting
Show Off Renee Zellweger GIF by Working TitleGiphy"Clothes, very few companies make clothes to last and fast fashion is rising while the cost of items continue to increase!"
Longest_YeahBoi_Ever
Yuck
"Scented candles, Yankee Candle in particular used to be the candle that was considered premium. But while they've never been cheap at least a while ago it was worth the money. But now they're just exorbitant in price, they don't smell like they used to, and they are not worth the money."
llcucf80
Use an IPhone...
"Photo booths! Oh the old ones were so cool! Four different real photos for 1 dollar. - Now you pay $ 7 for four identical bad laser prints."
aSadGirlsTongue
"This is why we bought all the supplies and just made one ourselves, super easily. Literally bought a backdrop & frame, all the fancy lighting, props, tablet, tablet stand, color printer, and even the little clicker thing to press when to take the photo."
"All of that off of Amazon, for less than 1/3 the price we were quoted to rent one from a company. And now we have a photo booth... lol. We can be that cool couple that can bring a whole photo booth setup anytime we're invited to our friend's weddings, parties, events, etc."
Rachelalala
Ruined
"The Cadbury Egg is honestly the most disappointing to me, because nearly every one of the food products mentioned has plenty of viable alternatives that haven't been ruined. You can find a thousand high-quality chocolate bars or ice creams or whatever."
"But the Cadbury Egg is a singularly unique product. There's nothing else like it on Earth, so once Cadbury ruined the recipe, it was a treat lost forever."
KlaatuBrute
Learning
Robin Williams Movie GIFGiphy"My university education, specifically this year. They are raising tuition AND fall semester has no in-person sessions."
BlueKnightBrownHorse
Pay Up
"College tuition. When I hear college used to be paid with a summer job, my eyes get watery. I’m a college student."
MsMeself
"I didn't pay for mine on a summer job but worked nights and lived alone and could take 3 classes a semester + summer classes (and paid 1/3 rent) with the money I made."
DpvReno
"A friend of mine pays for his own tuition and covers some house bills for his single mom because he lives at home but he works 2-3 jobs year round, one of them being construction. I don't know how he does it. He's stressed and tired all the time."
trottingtriever
“save and share”
"Smarties. Never been right since they got rid of all the artificial colours. Better for you, I'm sure, but chemical blue was the best flavor."
BlindMansJesus
"Went to poop when they got rid of the tube and replaced it with that weird hexagon box. Actually all my childhood favorites taste worse when you find out Nestle makes them all."
"I can’t stand the box that they’ve split into three sections trying to get you to 'save and share.' If I wanna open the box and pour the lot down my gullet, that is my Canadian-born right."
msstirius
Dang Bucket
"I’m sure this will get overlooked but KFC. I remember growing up a whole family could eat there and it was great! Now it’s just garbage, super greasy, and will cost you an arm and a leg for a dang bucket of chicken. They have gotten way worse and the price has went up."
rprider1a1a2435
Frozens
Ben And Jerrys Empowerment GIFGiphy"Ice cream with fudge in it. Used to get massive slabs of fudge now they just have tiny nuggets."
ThatFinnishGu
"I can pretty much only stand to buy Ben and Jerry's these days. It ruined other 'frozen dairy desserts' for me."
marvlyn
the cheapest bidder...
"New homes. Cookie cutter houses, built with cheap contractors who cut corners left and right, situated in neighborhoods with ever higher HOA fees: and the HOAs are getting more expensive too."
aznuke
"I agree with this one. I thought buying a newly built home would be great. Turns out everything is cheap. Those nice looking base boards? Particle board. Cabinets? Particle board. Nice front door? it’s plastic and warps when the temperature changes."
"Everything ‘looks’ nice, but at the core it’s all super cheap material that was installed as fast as possible by the cheapest bidder."
fanpoppa749
Greedy Mickey
"Disney Theme Parks. (Speaking pre Covid world). They were better when you could do an entire park in a day, cost much less, like $40 vs whatever the insane price is now, and they limited who could get in."
"Universal is the same way, specifically Halloween Horror nights. It was $15 the first time I went, they capped how many tickets they sold and you had time to do every house plus a couple of rides. It was my favorite and we would go every year."
"Now? It's like $70 for a ticket, you have to buy fast pass for another $30 or $40 just so you have a chance to do every house because the lines can literally be hours long because they don't cap ticket sales and they recycle the same houses but pretend it's a new theme. It's so miserable we stopped going."
BrokenCankle
House Stuff
Giphy"Certain house appliances. My grandma has had the same fridge for 40 years. My parents recently had to replace theirs. It's their third in 20 years."
I_hate_traveling
"On the other hand, you don't want a 40 year old fridge because they are super energy inefficient."
lyrasorial
"Imagine how efficient those old fridges could be with modern technology and materials but the old mechanical design and quality control."
ICC-u
We like Bigger!
"I remember the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts to be bigger and cheaper."
Aero222
"When Donuts were their main thing. now, with all of the sandwiches, breakfast foods, shakes, smoothies, etc... donuts are an after thought."
politicsdrone704
I feel like life itself has degraded and become too expensive in general.
RedditorGlam_SpaceTimewanted to hear about the times the HOA has driven everyone crazy.
I have been able to avoid HOAs for awhile... but for how long?
Trashed
Oscar The Grouch 10000 Post GIFGiphy"HOA sued us for leaving out garbage bin out a day past garbage day… a total of five times in the three years we’ve lived here."
boardcertified*itch
"I live in a neighborhood with no HOA and do you know what my neighbors do if I happen to leave out my empty trash bins? They have the audacity to pull them in for me and I have to thank them next time I see them."
emailaddressforemail
Additions
"They wouldn’t let me add an acre of land onto my property. My neighbor owned 100 acres of land and was letting me buy an acre from him to add onto the 4 acres of land I already had. Since you can not build anything on 1 acre the HOA was refusing the purchase. However, when some lawyer said it was ok they let me buy the acre. I think they just wanted to waste our time."
TheCactusClub
Secrets
"HOA attempted to hold a 'secret' community meeting, where they'd vote on turning the large field and walking path everyone used for recreation into an RV park. It was 'secret' because they basically told no one and put up the required notice in a place where no one would see. As you can probably guess, most of the board owned RVs. Thankfully a few neighbors took notice and started knocking on doors. A crowd showed up and the proposal was starkly shot down. Freaking dirtbags."
CloudsOntheBrain
Enforcement
"HOA tried to enforce a rule that many houses in the community didn't comply with. I did some checking and it turns out that (at least in our state) if an HOA doesn't enforce a rule on everyone, then they can't enforce the time on anyone."
mypoliticalvoice
"Well that is kind of the point of a rule. If it's just used to abuse people the board don't like, it shouldn't be enforceable at all."
Painting_Agency
Useless
Angry Ariana Grande GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"One of my coworkers got a warning from his HOA saying that he had too many boxes inside his garage. They claimed that he couldn't use his garage for storage."
BirdSh*tPie
Who makes up these rules? Why are they evil?
No Good
Angry Tyra Banks GIFGiphy"We built a new fence around our property and told us to take it down since the other fences looked old. We built a walkway from the door to the driveway, they told us to take it out."
OkraFit3987
Let's Throwdown
"The condo association wanted to renovate the pool and pitched the cost they were moving forward with. There were a lot of developers in the building and they noticed that it was about 4 times the cost it should have been. Association says tough cookies, things get fun. People writing notices of what's going on with the association, the association writing emails about it, lots of sniping back and forth."
"Then one day I'm in the lobby waiting for someone to show up and the head of the association and one of the people calling them out ran into each other and they had to immediately get separated by security because they were about to start throwing punches."
thugloofio
A Feet Away
"HOA of my neighborhood tried to tell me that my house needed to be added onto, because houses need to be at least 1800 sq ft in the neighborhood. My house is 1750 sq ft. HOA was started in 2004. My house was built in 1989. My family took the HOA to court, to make a long story short, HOA had to back down, cuz their rules didn’t exist until AFTER the house was built. So, the HOA rules do not apply to my house."
AmaranthRosenrot
Wake Up!
"I slipped in my driveway and fell and broke my femur near my hip and couldn't get up. I was laying in my driveway calling for help for about 30 minutes and I could hear people walking past but nobody stopped for quite a while. I eventually asked someone to call an ambulance as my phone was in my car out of reach and got taken care of."
"Spent a few days in the hospital and when I got home I had a letter from my HOA saying I was in violation for sleeping in my driveway in the middle of the day. So the people who walked by and definitely heard me call for help and didn't stop were from the HOA or reported me to them."
Zonerdrone
The Punishers
"Everyone had to drag their trash bins down a hill to a curb where the garbage truck would pick it up. People would be slow to get their bins back after pick up. So the HOA went a dragged all the bins to the other side of the neighborhood and threw them in a pile in a random patch of public grass. So we pay these people to be childishly petty and antagonize us? And their 'punishment' only created more of an eyesore than bins uniformly lined up on a curb."
FireteamAccount
Age Old Wood
luther rage GIFGiphy"A gorgeous vintage wooden sled that has been in our family for at least 100 years was laid out one winter by my family. We received a letter informing us that since firewood is not allowed in front yards, we had to remove the pile from our yard."
Loose-Possession-68
Pay Up...
"My wife and I bought our condo almost 6 years ago and the guy we bought it from had owned it for less than a year. When we closed he said he had never got a key to the neighborhood pool when he bought the place from the previous owner but he was old so didn’t care and was never gonna use it. We said no big deal, we will just ask for a new one."
"Well the HoA wants us to pay $300 for a 'new' key because we had 'lost' our old one and it’s some fraud prevention measure to stop people from selling their pool keys or something. We had told them immediately after moving in we never got a key and after 6 years they refuse to get us a new one."
"We just pick the lock and go anyway but if it was an issue I’d be furious at the ridiculousness of making us pay into the HOA to maintain this pool when we never got access to it even though it wasn’t our fault and probably not even the fault of the guy before us."
Manly_Mangos
History
"We live in a historic district so the HOA is super strict about the exterior of our homes. Our patio door was warped so we spent forever trying to find the exact same style/color antique door to replace it. As soon as we did they got pissed we didn’t get it approved first. The only way you would even know we swapped it was if you were watching it happen."
ttrimmers
Shades
"Drones were used to make sure no one was growing vegetables in their backyards. No parking along the street in front of your house. Garbage cans had to be brought in within 15 minutes of pickup, though that was a different time each week. My neighbor was sued (and lost) after replacing their old windows. The new frames were the 'wrong shade of eggshell cream.'"
EhlersDanlosSucks
Downhill
"When I was married, we bought a house in a new construction neighborhood. When buying the home, we were informed that the developer would have full control of the HOA including funds until the neighborhood was done being built, at which time the homeowners would take control. We thought it wasn't that big of a deal, just be patient for a year or so."
"Well the developer keeps buying acreage adjoining the neighborhood to expand it. Six years later the neighborhood is still expanding with the developer in charge of the HOA. Potholed streets, weeds and overgrowth, a dilapidated pool, etc, not to mention the probable misuse (stealing) of funds."
startinearly
$125
"At the start of Covid, our 8 home HOA treasurer just… stopped collecting dues. No invoices, no reminders, nothing. It’s a three year term that’s almost up, so there’s no telling what’s going to happen when/if they change treasurers. Nobody seems to mind, or even really talk about it. Everyone just seems to enjoy the extra $125 a quarter in their bank account, and there’s plenty in the HOA account to cover the expenses and insurance for years to come. It’s me. I’m the treasurer."
HydroRyan
Visitors
"Visited a friend who lived in a strict HOA neighborhood. I was a smoker at the time, he didn't allow smoking in the house and the HOA had a rule about smoking outside. You weren't even allowed to smoke or have visible alcohol cans/bottles in your own back yard. Yep, if you drank alcohol during a cookout or whatever, it had to be poured into cups. They also had rules about parking in the driveway for more than 30 minutes, visiting the guy was a pain in the a**."
imnotacrazyperson
Photo Fool
Car Air GIF by MotorTrendGiphy"I got six separate notices for a parked RV in front of someone else's garage. It wasn't my RV. It wasn't my garage. It was parked in front of the owner's house for about 2 hours while he loaded it up prior to a camping trip. The best part is that they photographed the violation and it's clearly someone else's stuff in front of someone else's house."
thecasualchemist
Checks
"As I bought my condo the HOA went from small local to corp management. And they are a bear to get anything done. They pay booklets out with bold cap lettering to pay on time. When I send my check (I refuse auto withdrawal ) I remind them of how threatening this language is and to stop using it. The following year it was reworded to state: 'please pay by —(date). It works sometimes on the blow back side.'"
Car Thieves
"Towed my car illegally, several times, because I had out of state plates on my car. Cost me around $600 total."
Slight-Hovercraft197
The HOA people are worse than the DMV!
But there are a few who still get an unwelcome shock of their lives – even with the understanding that their particular work atmosphere can be unpredictable
Curious to hear about their experiences, Redditor jlbeekman90 asked strangers on the internet:
"People with jobs that require you to go into strangers' houses, what is the weirdest thing you've encountered?"
Not Alone
No one ever told these people they would have friendly intrusion while on the clock.
Got Goat?
"A goat in the living room. The mother came down and shooed it outside."
"human 'mother', or goat mother?? lol"
Stinky Critter
"Not me but my dad who can tell the story much better than I can. He was once repairing a furnace in the basement of one of his clients homes. Nobody was home when suddenly he heard a scurrying behind him, but when he looked nothing was there. This went on several times before he realized the noise was coming from behind a couch. Slowly, he began towards it. As he bent down, a skunk popped out from its hiding spot and met him face to face. Turns out he was a pet, but apparently it really spooked him at the time."
"Awful And Itchy"
"I'm an EMT, so I've seen lots of hoarders, human and animal waste, etc. But, the most aggravating day was when my partner and I got fleas from this dudes house. Our ambulance was swarming with fleas. Her and I were covered in fleas. We could see them jumping around there were so many. We had to mark out of service to decontaminate the truck and ourselves. It was awful and itchy."
The Zookeeper
"I work as a mobile computer repair/IT service guy. Went into a house to work on a laptop, and they happened to be my next-door neighbors. House had an animal smell (people with pets usually do not notice). But this was different. As I sat down to work on the laptop I heard a loud screech, and a pigmy marmoset jumped from a cabinet onto my head, pulling my hair violently. I then watched as an albino skunk, 3 house cats, 2 small dogs, and various large birds (a mynah, African gray, and what I think was some kind of guinea fowl) all appeared from various rooms and furnishings. All the animals were kind of friendly (there was no biting), but the sheer volume of animals in that tiny space was crazy. A few weeks later the Department of fish and wildlife and US customs raided their house. I found out later my neighbor smuggled rare animals. And had several aquariums full of rare poisonous snakes."
Basement Community
"Not me, but my SO. SO used to work for comcast as an installer and electrician many years ago. He has lots of odd/funny/alarming stories. My favorite is when he was in the basement of an old house running some wires. He couldn't find the pull for the lights so he was using a small flashlight to look around. So he's looking around and catches eyes in the dark with his flashlight. Goes back and realizes there's many eyes watching him in the dark. As soon as he realizes he gets creeped out and starts to head for the stairs. Then something starts screaming. Which makes him scream. Then the home owner comes down turns on the lights and apologizes for not telling him about the herd of goats that live in the dark basement. Apparently they are easily startled. He said there were probably a dozen of them down there."
Horror Movie Territory
People who enjoy going into scare houses during Halloween wouldn't dare experiencing the following.
Here Are My Digits
"So this was back when I was a student on a placement in community mental health services. I went out on a visit to see a man who was just recently discharged from a medium secure hospital, he had schizophrenia / psychosis. We were going in for a routine checkup."
"I knock, he opens the door, and this incredible stench just hits us in the face, and I thought I was gonna throw up right there. But alas, my supervisor urges me to go in, we walk into his house, and it just smells sooooo bad. My eyes were watering. I keep my composure, we chat to him, and I notice some black thing on his kitchen table, looks like rotting food/mould/tiny dead mouse... Idk. So after chatting, I casually ask him what that black thing is and if he needs help cleaning it up."
"Oh it's my toes"
"What. The. F'k."
"Yeah I cut them off, they didn't fit right on my foot."
"Needless to say he was immediately readmitted. He reportedly cut them off with a kitchen knife and then seared his wound with a lighter. I believe he had to have his entire foot/below knee leg amputated because it got infected."
Scare-bnb
"I used to help my dad who was a real estate appraiser. We went into this one house that was in the mountains, it was vacant. One room looked like it had black carpeting. When we looked closer, we found out the floor was covered in dead flies. The only room in the house like that."
Grisly Discovery
"A neighbor called the police after noticing the mail piling up outside of a neighbor's house, never ever a good sign. I get the check the welfare call and go with a back up car. No answer at the door so we try to look through all the 1st floor windows when my partner spots,a foot in the hallway. We forced entry and found the eldery female barely alive. She had fallen two days,earlier and had a broken hip. Fire/rescue came and got her to the hospital in time. I know not the weirdest thing finding her. We had to grab all the prescription medicine we could find to take to the hospital, it was then that we found her mummified husband sitting in the bedroom chair. Coroner said he had been there about six months."
Trash Can Alternative
"I was 20 years old working as an internet installer (just over 10 years ago). A cute girl a little older than me ordered service so while I was at her house surveying (both flirting) I told her I had to trace some lines down. It was a studio type MIL suite she was renting behind a house as she was in college."
"Started tracing lines and had to look behind her bed. It was just a mountain of used tampons, she had been shoving them under and behind her bed. The rest of the house was relatively clean."
"Also lots and lots of hoarders. There are so many hoarders."
Wasteland
"When I was a caregiver, I was absolutely flabbergasted when I walked into a home where there was dog sh*t everywhere. No pads, no newspaper, etc. Just dog shit e v e r y w h e r e, of all kinds. Dried, fresh, broken into bits, whole pieces..."
"There was a capable adult in the household who could have let the dog out. I had to bite my tongue, every time I went there and was told to pick it up, because I so badly wanted to go 'What in the absolute f'k is wrong with you??? How do you live like this when I'm NOT here???'"
Pizza Delivery
These Redditors delivered pies and came back with bizarre stories.
The Gift
"As a pizza delivery driver, I wasn't required to go into anyone's house, at least on paper. In practice though, it happens. If I were doing the same job now, I'd be much more wary of going into someone's house, but at 19, I thought I was invincible and didn't care."
"I have tons of pizza delivery stories from back then, some I've even told on Reddit before, but I've never told this one."
"There used to be this log cabin looking house right in the middle of town. It's since been demolished but it was legitimately just a very large log cabin sitting in the middle of a city. It was probably 10pm when I went out on the delivery. I looked at the address, looked at the wall map to see exactly where I was going (the days before GPS), and realized it was the log cabin. I'd always noticed it but had never visited it, nor did I know anything about it. So it was kind of exciting getting to see who actually lived in this place."
"I arrive and pull into the driveway and for the first time, I noticed it had 3 separate doors. A, B, and C."
"'I'll be damned, it's a triplex,' I thought."
"The address was for unit C, so I went to unit C and knocked on the door. As soon as it opened a wall of stink knocked me across the face. It smelled like... I don't know, a mixture of piss and unwashed crotch? A woman answered wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties, which wasn't particularly strange for my town, but when she raised her arms, I could see her boobs hanging out the bottom of the shirt."
She turned around and said "I gotta get my pocket book, will you set it on the counter?"
"Extremely hesitant, I crossed the threshold and saw the counter right next to me. I set the pizza down. She came back out with the exact change and a copy of The Last of the Mohicans on VHS. She handed me the money and said 'Have you seen this?' and plops the video in my hands."
"'Uh, yeah, years ago,' I say."
"'Well now you own it,' she says. 'That damn movie is so good.'"
"I stare at her and the tape for a moment and I'm like 'I mean if you like the movie I don't wanna take it from you."'
"'No it's fine,' she says. 'I got like 50 copies of it.'"
"Right after she said that, I noticed her tv was on and, no sh*t, Last of the Mohicans was playing. I remember clearly it was the scene where the guy was being burned alive."
"'Okie doke, thanks,' I said, and left."
"When I got back to work, I told my manager I'd just delivered a pizza to the log cabin in town and he looks at me and says 'Did she give you a copy of Last of the Mohicans?'"
"'SHE DID!' I replied."
"Yeah I got a copy from her too."
"Not particularly scary or anything, just weird. I never had a delivery for her again."
– CDC_
The Excited Teen Customer
"Similarly, I had a young guy once open the door in nothing but some track pants and I couldn't help but notice his raging hard-on and a semi-nude old lady lying on the couch behind him."
"Pizza delivery doesn't pay enough, but it's a crazy job with limitless stories."
– CDC_
Pizza Museum
"I was an internet installer about 10 years ago, too! I actually just recently got back into the industry, but yeah..... There are a lot more hoarders out there than people typically think. And for weird stuff, too. I had a guy that had stored about 4 years worth of pizza boxes in his basement, stacked to the ceiling and piles sorted by where he ordered them from."
Many employees who deliver items or make home visits for inspection and repairs have continued doing god's work throughout the pandemic – as long as they abided by safety protocols and were healthy.
With much of the pandemic seeing an uptick in such services, these itinerant workers undoubtedly have endless anecdotes to share.
Hopefully, stories about finding corpses or severed toes inside homes were not a frequent occurrence.
Because no thank you.
Working with people in their most personal spaces is bound to lead to some secrets being exposed. Especially after years of servicing the same families, they get to know the most private things about the people they work for. For example, something hidden from a spouse can easily be stumbled upon while a housekeeper is cleaning.
Redditor u/Hunterofshadows asked housekeepers about the secrets they shouldn't know about their employers.
20. Scandalous affairs
"My mom is a house cleaner and she told me that one of her clients used to be a house cleaner to her now husband. Basically he left his ex wife to marry his house cleaner, he also took his kids and i wonder when the kids are going to make the connection"
19. Mom and daughter were too close
"The wife was too attached to her mother. The husband worked crazy hours and often had to travel internationally. One time, Husband was gone and she had contractors build the basement into a large suite. By the time he was back, his mother-in-law had moved, from Texas to Utah, into his home. The mother-in-law tried to manage the househould while my employers were away at work. The husband ended up buying the mother-in-law an apartment 20 minutes away. He also gave me use of the family vehicles as an apology. About a decade later, they're still together, but have moved accross the country to escape the extended family."
18. A hidden resting place
Giphy"I was a house keeper for some extra money during summer, this old cute lady asked me to watch her house while she was on vacation, it was night time and I wanted a little snack so I walked to a cabinet in the car corner of the kitchen, moved some cereal boxes around and found a vase with the label 'hubby', It made me shed a tear not gonna lie."
17. Sketchy banking
"No at housekeeper but a personal banker. Lady went to the states with a few stacks of one dollar bills. Cam back to deposit the usd after her trip and accidentally handed me some rolled up hundreds and a coke baggie and condom fell out of her wallet.
She came in a few months later to change her salutation from Mrs. to Ms. as well as her last name, and freeze her accounts."
16. That hair didn't look real
"Was a housekeeper for a family for 9 years... I knew that the husbands hair on top of his head wasn't actually real. Well maybe it was real, but it wasn't attached."
15. The owner of the place must have been furious
"Once cleaned out an airbnb that looked like the two girls who last rented it were both on their period and just let it drain all over the bed, chairs and couch. Horridly nasty."
14. Interesting stuff in the closet
"Nanny here.. I do some light housekeeping as well, which includes the family laundry. Husband has a framed boudoir pic (no nudity) of the wife on his bedside table. Cool, whatever, happy marriage and all that. Known about that one basically since I started there. Last week however I noticed a pic on the wall in their closet (where I set the clean laundry basket) of the wife topless. Didn't really expect to get to know them on that level. Haha."
13. They probably know that this housekeeper knows...
"Went to clean a vacation condo. Cleaned everything, saved bedroom for last. All over the bed and floor, laid and spread out (pun intended), were Penthouse and Hustler magazines. At that moment, I thought I'd run out before the guy came back. But I already cleaned up the rest of the place. I HAD to dust and vacuum this bedroom. Cuz they knew I was there. I know the question presented is for something I know, they don't know I know, but ..."
12. Secrets from the wife
"Not a full time housekeeper, but occasionally house sit/baby sit for my neighbors. Before bedtime the kid gets an hour of game time. So i turned on the computer, getting it ready and I guess the dad forgot to close his tabs. But turns out that he has a lot of kinks/fetishes that I'm sure his very catholic wife wouldn't appreciate. He came back oblivious and I didn't bother telling anyone anything since it wasn't my place to do so."
11. Love letters
"I knew the couple I was cleaning for would get a divorce about 6 months before they did when I found a note from his lover in his coat pocket."
10. Their client's progress
"Dog walker, here. I was dog sitting for an older work friend once and saw her 'days sober' calendar. I was simultaneously sad, because I had no idea she was struggling, and happy for her because she had almost a full month marked off."
9. He couldn't wait for the bathroom...
Giphy"Not a house keeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they'd go out and explore the area. That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It's late at night, the kids are sleeping, I'm laying on the couch and the parents get back. The dad says, 'is she sleeping' referring to me? I didn't say anything so apparently he assumed yes. He then started farting very loudly."
8. There has to be a line drawn
"My friend who cleans houses said she once had a girl who left dirty pads all over her room. She refused to clean it"
7. Secret passages!
"House I used to work at had a secret passage from the master bed to the attic, also a secret passage from a cabinet in the great room leading to the exterior of the garage"
6. Their legal troubles
"That she got a DUI. Typical religious white collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids. She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer. I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record...yup. DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that I started noticing 12 step books and such."
5. The lawyer who likes to party
"we know a lawyer (who owns the company) in a pretty big office likes to have hookers come to the office on nights when the stadium nearby is hosting a game. He's married. There's also always alcohol in the trash cans..."
4. This unique collection
"I'm not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys. And when I say 'toys,' I'm not using a euphemism for 'sex enhancement items' or anything like that. Literal genital toys. Windup penises with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren't official PEZ brand), rather risque variants on 'pin the tail on the donkey', a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses..."
3. The basement from "Parasite"
"There's a secret basement in the house behind a shelf in the kitchen, the previous owner did it."
2. Marriage troubles are obvious
"Haven't been a housekeeper in years but we can always tell when your marriage is falling apart. The amount of 'giving up' is clear."
