A Redditor wanted to hear about what people have learned once they cohabitated with the ladies and asked:
"What did you not know or realize until after living with a woman?"
I've lived with many women. It's been... an experience.
I'll Do It!
Waking Up Sun GIF by MTV CribsGiphy"According to my wife I cannot open the living room curtains properly and she always need to redo it."
chillipotpeeps
Hygiene
"I either need to do a 1hr upper body workout to blow dry my hair, or let it sit wet for several hours while it dries after I get it wet. Plus, just getting it wet, shampooing, conditioning, and making sure I've gotten all the product out of my hair takes a good 15-20 minutes. I absolutely do not wash my hair every time I wash my body and shave or vice-versa. It just takes wayyyy too long."
RNGHatesYou
The Look
"The color of their shoes will match their earrings and their purse, and if you look carefully, will pick up the highlights of the design of their top. And that's not an accident."
"I never realized this was a manner of dressing until I saw it being assembled first hand, and then the next day at work it was like I paid attention to what my female colleagues were wearing and I'm like HOLY CRAP THEY ALL DO THIS."
LordSn00ty
It’s bizarre...
"Women are both simultaneously messier and cleaner than men. It’s bizarre how messy rooms can get with them and how quickly they can turn it around and make it clean!"
"Also random hairs everywhere, and make up stains that appear. They also have a really weird obsession with glass containers or jars."
ciregno
Heavy Lifting
Stretch Size Up GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy"That she owns only one truly GOOD BRA. There is only one and part of your duty as a man is to protect The Good Bra."
If you are doing laundry, you must take the greatest of precautions to make sure it is properly cleaned, dried, and stored. God forbid The Good Bra ever turn up missing or in the wrong drawer."
"Ladies, why is there only one GOOD BRA?"
StillHereUBastards
I can't even discuss undergarments...
Build Up
"Started noticing a residue building up in the sink. It’s some kind of skin oil, but the wife insists I’m making it up."
Repressedmemoryfoam
Gotta Go
"I live with three female roommates and one night we got onto the discussion of bathroom habits. Two of the three believed that men always stood up to pee. Like if you were going number two and had to go number one you would stand up first and then sit down to finish the job. It was really funny to help to clarify men also sit to pee sometimes too."
zapp1121
Loose Strands
"When long, loose head hairs wash off in the shower, it's common practice to stick them to the wall rather than let them collect in the drain."
"If she forgets to remove them afterwards, it can be very confusing for the next person in the shower. Why are there a bunch of individual strands of hair deliberately stuck to the wall?"
Professor_Brooks
"Oh God this is me. I try to remember to pull the hair off. It's hard to get loose hairs off your head when it's wet so sticking them to the shower is kinda the only option."
Skin Issues
"I have never stayed on one thread as long as I've stayed on this one. Thank you OP and everyone who's posted. The ones about not knowing that pads stick to underwear rather than skin cracked me up, but also gave me new perspective. I mean, it makes perfect sense. How would someone who's never had to use one know if someone doesn't tell them?"
trumpeting_in_corrid
Stuff is moving...
Black Friday Christmas GIF by TargetGiphy"If they leave stuff at the bottom of the stairs, that means you’re supposed to bring it up. If it’s at the top of the stairs, you should bring it down. Also, the correct place for objects in the kitchen is where they currently reside. Stuff is gonna move around constantly, just roll with it."
I just chose to live alone. Men or women be damned.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I wish I had some sort of tradition.
“grandfather”
Water Smiling GIFGiphy"Went over to my Laotian friends house when I was little and upon entering his house he said I had to remove my shoes and bow to his grandfather. When he said 'grandfather' he pointed to a fish mounted on the wall. Thinking it was some kind of reincarnation thing I did it and was instantly berated and laughed at by his whole family."
pistonkamel
Just Like A Pill
"So, I was invited to my friend's grandmother's home for Thanksgiving. I was new to the area and I had no family near so I graciously accepted. My buddy, Jason, gave me the breakdown of his extended family that was going to be in attendance. His parents were divorced but would both be attending. His grandparents were married but legally separated and lived apart, but Grandfather would attending."
"His Uncle Carl would be there with his 'mail order bride' and their young son. His other Uncle Ted, was openly gay and battling AIDS. He and his lover would also be there. So I have set the stage, you can probably picture all of them in your mind. In person, it exceeded my imagination. Ted’s boyfriend wore cowboy chaps to dinner. They were all very colorful and animated, the pre dinner discussions were riveting."
"As we were seated for the meal, Jason’s grandmother (Sara) took out an Altoids tin, took two and began passing it around the table. I watched as everyone took 1-2 and immediately took them and washed them down with a drink. Jason got the tin and did the same. I asked him, why is everyone swallowing Altoids before supper? They all laughed. He said oh, these are Valium."
"We learned several years ago that as we gather for Thanksgiving we drank and arguments ensued. So one year my Uncle said, we should all just take a Valium at the beginning of the meal so we can all just chill the hell out. They all laughed hysterically and agreed."
"I passed on the offer and handed the tin to Jason’s mom as next in line. And as the evening played out, they all essentially zoned out during dinner, no fights transpired, and they considered it a successful Thanksgiving. I would have never imagined this would happen, but it was a damn fun experience."
petey001
"impressionable"
"When I was 11 I stayed at my aunt's house over the school holidays with my 13yr old brother, she had a rule that we couldn't watch any tv shows that she considered 'impressionable.' That meant no cartoons, namely Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon. We missed the end of the Cell Saga. My brother was pissed, he hasn't let it go to this day, over 20 years later."
newbzealand
I think this counts...
"Drank slightly-chocolaty water for a month. I think this counts. Years back I was prospecting for a field site on a very remote island in the south pacific. It was sufficiently remote that having me in the neighborhood was something of a spectacle, so as I made trips out to villages from my 'home village', I was feted along the way. I'd get to a village and the local head man and I would get to talking and they'd have a nice feast."
"These guys aren't entirely cut off from the world so one nice trade good they had was powdered milk and Ovaltine. On arriving at the second village, I noticed that they weren't exactly well-to-do, but out came the Ovaltine. Not wanting to use up their supplies, I foolishly interrupted the preparation to tell them 'that was enough'. They looked confused but handed over water with just a bit of Ovaltine floating at the top."
"It was wretched. But trying to be polite, I drank it all. And smiled. Word got around so every village I went to thereafter was informed of my 'preference.' Couldn't exactly correct them at this point as somebody might have been insulted, sooo I drank it. Kinda wonder if the next visitor benefitted from my blunders in protocol."
Kevin_Uxbridge
Being polite...
Dessert Merry Happy GIF by TWICEGiphy"Went to a friend's house for dinner a lovely meal. The whole family cleaned their plates of food then turned them over and ate dessert on the back of their plates like it was the most normal thing in the world. I copied them just to be polite."
Argybargyass
People really do have interesting ways to celebrate and live.
Diablo 2
diablo 3 GIFGiphy"We got yelled at for 'playing that devil game again!' We were playing Mario kart. And Bowser kept freaking his mom out. So we muted it and all was fine from then on. Meanwhile his little brother was literally playing Diablo 2 at the time in the same room. But he already had it muted so it wasn't a problem I guess."
Qix213
by torchlight...
"I once got roped into a wassailing. Marching by torchlight (literal flaming torches) down to the guys orchard to sing at the trees was a new one on me. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was just a handful of us, as in just me, my schoolfriend, his brother, and his parents. Still, we got some cider out of it."
-Satsujinn-
Naked
"I guess this qualifies as "culture:"
"My sister was dating a man that had been raised in a nudist colony. He took her to meet his family at their house at the colony. She was a tad surprised when his mother immediately says 'there is a hook on the bathroom door for your clothes.' My sister proceeds to spend the entire evening naked with his folks. Her BF had told her before they went that it would be her option but I guess his parents didn't think so."
asphyxiationbysushi
Antwerp
"When I lived in Antwerp (Belgium), I once was stopped by an elderly, woman on the street. She was asking for help inside her house. Guiding me through a house where the temperature was way too hot, she stopped at every radiator and asked me to turn them down."
"In the end we went to the kitchen, where some jewish women and children were watching me silently while I was putting all the burning gas stoves on a low heat. Then she showed me out, thanked me and closed the door. In Antwerp there is a big community of hasidic jews, I can imagine this was during sabbath."
laurens-t
Time and Place
Big Brother What GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"I work for the ambulance service and I was asked to take my shoes off before attending to their mother in cardiac arrest. Politely reminded them that there was a time and place."
phoenixfeet72
culture/religion...
"I had a neighborhood friend that i played on the street with and at school sometimes. Her mom and dad always told me i wasn’t allowed to be in the same room as my friends older brothers because seeing young women was a sin for unmarried men. i was 10 at the most. the youngest of her older brothers was 16. When I was asked by my friend to sleep over for her birthday i was told by her and her mother thatIi needed to remain in my friends bedroom."
"Her mother would bring us food and drinks and take us to go to the bathroom whenever it was safe. I told my sister about it the next day and she told me i wasn’t allowed to go near their house or my friend again. to this day I still don’t know if it was actually due to culture/religion or if maybe they just had a really freaking weird family."
haesslichryn
And check this...
Tom And Jerry Food GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"I remember going to my Swedish friends house. And while we were playing in his room, his mom yelled that dinner was ready. And check this. He told me to WAIT in his room while they ate. That crap was f**king wild."
Wowimatard
Peace signs...
"I went over to a friend's house for a sleepover and when I changed into my pajamas her mom started demanding I put something else on and throw my pajamas out. I was really confused, she was yelling about how my pajamas were sinful and bore signs of the devil!"
"I ended up just calling my mom to take me home because I was so uncomfortable, but that woman just kept scolding us for allowing me to wear satantic symbols. The symbols on my pajamas? Peace signs. She said they were broken crosses, so clearly a sign of the devil."
usernameemma
Eh…?
"I once went to have dinner with a girl from Uni who came from a super nice but very religious family. Her dad turned out the be the pastor. Absolutely no problem being silent while they’re praying before dinner, however after dinner the whole family got their bibles out, and asked me politely, which my favourite verse was so we could read it together. Eh…?"
Qihai7
Coal
australian government simpsons GIF by Environment VictoriaGiphy"My friends father was a Geordie and his grandad was Scottish. Each hogmanay it was my job to leave their house and re-enter bearing a gift of coal. This was my task as I was the only one there with dark hair. So that's a thing."
GabberZZ
Snowed
"Went to stay with distant relatives in Lithuania during winter. It's nothing for them to all get naked in the sauna and pat each other with birch branches then run out and roll in the snow. After a while I just went f**k it and gave into my inhibitions but at first it was a bit confronting being naked, exposed and vulnerable. On the flip side, their snow chilled vodka was primo which broke the ice so to speak; would 100% do again."
mypoopscaresflysaway
skin and all...
"I am reminded of the story on Reddit where a girl went to her boyfriend's parent's house to meet them, and they had a ritual where they gather around a table and savagely consume an entire orange, skin and all. She didn't do it, and she upset the entire family. I think it's my favorite story from Reddit."
frauleinsteve
“witches”
Hocus Pocus Wtf GIF by FreeformGiphy"I was kicked out of an elementary school friend’s birthday party because another friend and I played 'witches' in her treehouse. She was Southern Baptist. There was a literal cauldron in her treehouse, I stand by my decision."
erineestevenson
‘cheat night’
"Late to the game, but here goes. I had a friend growing up whose parents didn’t allow any snacks in the house. Every time he invited me over to spend the night, I was expected to bring boxes of snack food because it could be allowed if brought in by an outsider. And yes, his parents would partake, too. So there was junior high school aged Higestache bringing boxes of snacks for an entire family to have a ‘cheat night’ at my expense."
higestache
When in Rome... so as people do...