Wrapped.
dog spinning GIFGiphyWrapping gifts. It looks like an angry drunk person's attempt every time.
Unparalleled
If you watched me try to parallel park, you'd be convinced I was screwing with you. I don't even come close. And I'm trying really hard.
I'm 45 and I haven't parallel parked since my driving test when I was 16. I avoid it like the plague.
Next Word
Spelling. My goal is to spell a word, not correctly, but correctly enough so that the predictive text can figure it out, and can show me the real spelling of the word. I often fail even at that though, so my last resort is always Google.
I definitely don't have dyslexia and I have this problem all the time with most words even slightly outside "common daily use." You get the point.
The way I've always seen it, spelling for me has been like handwriting (hated that class in grade school). I know I'm not great at it, but 1) it's too inconsequential to me -- especially given modern assisting technologies like spellcheckers and 2) I'm honestly just too lazy to learn the wealth of words I need to spell correctly when I can just solve the immediate problem in a short second or two.
We Can Learn.
Black And White Parasite GIF by Madman FilmsGiphyClosing pizza boxes.
Go work at a pizza place. You'll learn pretty damn quick haha. I couldn't close one either until I worked at Pizza Hut for three years.
Awkward...
Talking to people I don't know.
I used to be uncomfortable talking to new people, but then I spent a few years working retail. Working register forced me to interact with hundreds of people every day.
Now I work in local news and have to meet and work closely with new people almost every day.
I'm still awkward as hell, but I'm less uncomfortable!
Unsnapped....
Under threat of death I still wouldn't be able to whistle. I've read the tips, I've practiced, I'm still basically just spitting or forcefully breathing through pursed lips with no noise at all.
Same. I honestly don't understand the science behind what makes a whistle. Maybe I haven't watched enough videos.
I also can't snap my fingers.
unrecognizable...
Recognize people in different environment.
Edit : Since so many upvotes, I will share a little story (I think I'm face blind)
Usually I grow a big beard once a year or so. A couple of years ago my friend had this majestic beard. I felt that it was awesome so I decided to pump it up by growing for 5-6 months. When I shaved it of I started to laugh because I couldn't remember how I looked.
just one eye
katy perry wink GIFGiphyWinking. I CANNOT wink for the life of me. My friends are constantly harassing me for my inability to wink. It's awful. Why can so many people just shut one eye?! It seems so simple, yet I just CAN'T.
Strike a.... NO
Posing for pictures. When I smile, it looks like there's a gun being pointed at me behind the camera. I just don't understand how photogenic people exist.
Step 1-2-3
dance dancing GIFGiphyDancing. I genuinely cannot coordinate my body to do it.
Same here. No matter what I do/how I move I always feel like that I'm doing that stereotypical 'white guy dance' or worse.... I look like one of those inflatable tube guys.
I lIke You
Flirting
I am so bad at it when I'm trying. I'm such an awkward person. I'm good at it (as in I don't realize I'm doing it) when I'm not trying.
I personally define flirting as saying things that can be taken as romantic hints or that rise up sexual tension (if there is anything like that).
Than again, I'm still a virgin, so maybe taking flirting advice from me isn't a good idea.
And you are?
Jack Nicholson Reaction GIFGiphyRemembering names. I don't know why but I can't remember names. I've forgotten names of people I've known for years and talk to them regularly.
I Ruin It
Telling jokes. I always tell the punch line too soon or bastardize it in such a way that it's no longer funny. The hubs always gives me grief.
Same! And stories. I can't tell stories for crap. I'm working on it, because being able to tell a succinct story actually helps me do my job but I usually make my boyfriend tell our mutual stories or get other people in the story to jump-in because if I tell it I'll ramble or ruin it by laughing before it's time -.-"
No Hugs
scared jimmy fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyComforting or consoling a crying friend.
I get so uncomfortable around upset people. I don't ever know what to say or do.
The weird thing is that I'm an emotional person myself. I cry easy. I just cannot deal with other people crying.
Is that today?
Remembering dates, even my own birthday.
Lmao same I don't know anyone's birthday altho I do know my own. The most accurate thing I can remember is maybe the month of the birthday, remembering the days is asking too much.
To the BBQ....
Small talk.
It's easy to do, utterly useless skill but really easy. Mention something generic like "Weather's pretty good/crap, right?" during a moment where it's quiet and wait for the response. If they ramble on, it's obvious they're an extrovert so pick up on one of the topics they talk about and follow it through, you'll usually build up a conversation by itself doing that. Something like "Ha, yeah. I was supposed to be having a BBQ tonight but looks like that's not happening now." You can reply "God, yeah I could really go for BBQ right now. I'd kill for some hot wings." However, if they say something like "Yeah, heh..." don't bother probing anymore as either a) they're an introvert b) they're miserable and have no intention of small-talk.
If it sounds too simple, it's because it is.
Lost in Space
Finding my keys, wallet, and phone right before I have to leave.
My husband has this problem too!
I have the strange superpower to find anything within 5 minutes/just know where whatever he's looking for is; we make a great team lol.
Keep Paddling
Swimming. I look like a hopelessly drunk emu flapping about like it's having a seizure.
As long as you can keep yourself afloat and are comfortable, who cares how fast you swim. I wish everyone could learn basic swimming at an early age. Not everyone needs to be on the swim team, but just being able to stay calm and get to the side of the pool or swim to shore it would save a lot of needless drownings.
Shut Up
mic singing GIFGiphySinging LMAO.
I was at a Christmas party one time when I was a kid, and we started caroling. My singing was so bad I was asked to stop caroling. :(
Always Askew
Drawing straight lines ~ damn it.
Hey! I used to suck at drawing straight lines until I took an engineering drafting class. The thing imo that helped me the most was looking at where you wanted the pencil to end up, not looking at where the pencil is.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.