Redditor GrouchyResolution974 wanted to know what the boys can't quite seem to grasp about the ladies, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s one thing you will never understand about women?"
Thankfully, I like boys, but's it's a fascinating topic. I'm listening.
Follicle Issues
Giphy"Based on the amount of hair I have seen in the bathroom, and that I somehow still keep finding in my clothes/bu**crack, how do you still have so much hair on your head?"
shartnado3
mark your territory?
"Are you planting hair ties and bobby pins everywhere to mark your territory?"
"This actually came up in a previous relationship when my girlfriend (at the time) found a 'foreign' bobby pin in one of the bathroom drawers, and freaked out about it until I casually explained that she is in fact not the first girlfriend I ever had and that I don't go through and scrub every square inch of my apartment after a breakup."
onamonapizza
Chaotic Sizes
"Why are women clothing sizes all over the place? One store a size 4 could be a 9 at a different store."
Zihark53
"We don't get it either, and we don't like it. The fashion industry refuses to standardize sizes, make bras for well endowed women at a reasonable price, or put useable pockets on our clothing. It's freaking MADDENING."
TattooedWenchkin
"This is a topic most of us rant about at LEAST twice a month, if not every time we go clothes shopping. My best friend says women’s sizing depends on your horoscope and your immediate proximity to a chicken."
queenlesbian99
Why so Small?
"Why are their pockets so small? Who started this?"
GBgabe13
"Pockets went away because 20th century fashion silhouettes were too slim for pockets, cost of installing pockets makes manufacturers not include them in designs, and women’s clothing is made of weaker fabrics that aren’t suitable for pockets. The purse industry thing is a myth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zSSE9pgC8"
butter_milk
Chatter
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy"Starting a conversation, then continuing the conversation after walking into another room where you can't be heard."
therealfrankpenny
Women have super sonic hearing, it's a gift.
Bruh!
Jersey Shore Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"I'm going to McDonalds, want anything? No. *Proceeds to eat all of my fries, bruh."
california-whiskey
"'I'll just have some of yours.'"
"No I want all of mine, that's the point. I'll just get 2 and finish yours."
Idontdanceforfun
0 to 100!!
"How a woman can instantly tap into the rage (with 0 energy loss) they experienced from an argument we had 2 years ago, and I don't even remember it happening."
whatchlookinat
"It's because of the implications of the past rage. I think women tend to connect behaviors into a pattern more, rightly or wrongly. So X things is seen as a warning sign for something negative."
"Something happen twice is a pattern of behavior that indicates negative thing. I think men tend to view each incident as an isolated event. I don't think either one is right or wrong. I think you need both kinds of thinkers in a social group. A lot of women just tend to lean one way and a lot of men the other."
jittery_raccoon
Location?
"Where do you want to eat?!"
WhenAllElseFail
"As a girl, I absolutely hate having to choose. I will never turn down a place when my husband picks. If I actually want something I will tell him. It should be simple. I get stuck making dinner at home most days and make those decisions- don't make me also figure out food out of the house too."
nickygirl19
"Frankly this is a fair take that I’ve never considered."
flaming_carrot12
Hats off y’all...
"Why the f**k you would ever want to be pregnant. I watched my wife push out two kids with no drugs, and y’all have my undying respect. No freaking way I’d do that dude. Courage is defined as a woman who intentionally get pregnant, knowing what that actually entails and all the terrifying risks associated with it. Hats off y’all."
ToastFromTexas
Bad Company
"Toxic Positivity. Why are you always hang around people you don't like and pretend to be nice to them."
Way_2_Go_Donny
"It’s not necessarily a good habit for sure, but women's networks rely upon collaboration so if you burn bridges, women can do a lot of damage to you socially with a bit of well placed gossip. Sadly. Women’s weapons are psychological devices, vs mens which may be more overtly aggressive."
Dry_Representative_9
Googley Eyes
Want You Love GIF by NICOLE DADDONAGiphy"How they can look at men and find them attractive. I’m an overweight turd and somehow I’ve managed to find one that finds me attractive."
mrtouchybum
We thank these ladies for answering these questions so candidly, in hopes of catching some of the men up to speed.
Do you have any burning questions or things you'd like to answer? Let us know in the comments.
Driving anywhere is a scary situation for me. Unless it's an empty city. Everyone acts like we're in Mad Max: Thunderdome.
50 Seconds
Prayer GIFGiphy"I worked at a credit union and got robbed. He jumped the counter and robbed me first then the other 3 people working. Scariest 50 seconds of my life." ~ green_eyedblonde_
The Doctor is in...
"Three months ago I went to the doctor for bloating and constipation. The symptoms had been coming and going over the previous two months and then finally getting progressively worse in the last couple weeks. One CT scan later, I learned I have advanced ovarian cancer. Terrifying statistics regarding prognosis. Living with gratitude everyday that I have access to excellent care and tons of loving support from family, friends, and neighbors." ~ thismagicalbeauty
Emergency Stomach Pain
"My wife was 30+ weeks pregnant when her stomach began to hurt to the point she really couldn’t talk. It was extremely intense pain. The hospital (one of the best in the world) had a difficult time figuring out what it was so they sent her down to imaging. By the time she came back to the room, they realized my wife and the baby were really starting to struggle."
"They did an emergency C section and realized most of my wife’s intestines were black and dead. It ended up being intestinal malrotation - My wife was apparently born with her intestines not fully anchored and supported so they were more prone to twist."
"We had no idea.Our baby passed away and my wife almost did. That was scary, still is. Especially if she gets a stomach ache it’s difficult not to think of the worst case scenario. Also losing a child is 'scary' so I guess I got two for this question - yay me." ~ SmokyToots37
'knew a guy'
"Was already on the worst date of my life with a barely coherent guy who smelled like he hadn’t showered in a week. I was dropping him off at his bike after a glass of wine at a fancy wine bar where he 'knew a guy' who wasn’t working that night, so guess who has two thumbs and paid for both drinks? 👍👍 this guy."
"Suddenly dude yells 'LOOK OUT!' and I slam the brakes. I missed getting demolished by inches by a speeding SUV blasting through a stop sign and across an arterial road at 70+ mph. I later found out that it crashed into someone’s house shortly thereafter. Anyways I was shaking like a leaf after that, that guy saved both our lives. Wish I could say it was a meet cute but I never saw him again." ~ SasquatchIsMyHomie
Head Gear
Lets Go GIF by MacklemoreGiphy"Getting hit by a car at 45mph and I was on a push bike no helmet or anything, and had a head on collision with it, massive head and brain injury, died once, brought back and here I am. The lesson is, always wear a helmet when on a bike." ~ MrBreaker187
Always have a helmet. Always be prepared. Well, as prepared as possible.
Get Down!
Oh My God Omg GIF by AudibleGiphy"Being in a store when a tornado went directly over the store without touching down. I'll never forget that noise." ~ DeathSpiral321
Rustle
"I was in bed when I heard a rustle. Looked around. Saw nothing. Lay back down. Heard a louder rustle. Looked around. Looked under the bed. Lay back down with my heart in my throat. Something large landed on my face and chest… it was the stupid poster over my bed. To this day I’m proud I didn’t soil myself." ~ hootyowlscissors
On the Intercoastal...
"I was snorkeling on the outside of an intercoastal in South Florida. I had no real experience doing it before. There's a big wall of rocks separating the area we were snorkeling and jet skiing in from ships and boats entering and exiting the intercoastal. We climbed up on the rocks for fun and I had to take off my flippers to do so."
"I jumped into the intercoastal area and without my flippers on, I was instantly sucked out into the middle of the intercoastal as a cruise ship was coming through. The details about how close I was to getting hit and exactly how much danger I was in are a bit blurry. But I absolutely thought to myself I could die right now. My friends dad swooped in on his jet ski and saved me." ~ ClockNo4364
Outside the Restroom...
"Back in university I went to the restroom. When I came out there was this guy I’d never seen before waiting in the hall by the women’s restroom. He started talking to me as if he knew me and kept asking for help on a specific assignment. I kept telling him that I wasn’t in that class while trying to get away."
"Every time I took a step to the side to walk past him he would block me and walk towards me, cornering me back into the bathroom with every step. Even though it was broad daylight, I was terrified and I could tell by his demeanor that something wasn’t right."
"My back was to the bathroom door when he began to pull something out of his backpack. I never saw what it was because at that very moment another guy walked past and asked if everything was alright and the first guy left very quickly." ~pocky-town
Oh Hell No!
"One I was about to have a shower and looked in the mirror then I saw that absolute massive huntsman in the reflection. Like so big I could see each of its eyes from decently far away." ~ a_singular_fish
See, I always knew spiders were minions of the devil. Them and palmetto bugs.
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I tell you what is not a good idea, thinking you know people's marriages better than they do. Everyone thinks they can make the love story of others better, but you have to be in the relationship to know how to properly effect it. Let's learn...
In the back...
Julio Cesar Rome GIF by Luis RicardoGiphy"My "friend" kept asking me to hangout with her and a mutual friend that I no longer talked to. After turning her offer down multiple times, she made it her place to tell me everything that the mutual friend had been saying behind my back for years."
Sad Bride
"At my friend's wedding some of their parent's friends who they didn't really want to invite took it upon themselves to go to the table that had all the presents, remove all the envelopes attached to each individual present and neatly put them all together at the corner of the table. My friends realized they did this during the wedding so that would have been crap. The couple thought they were doing something really nice but my friends had no idea who gave what as a gift. The bride was not happy."
Decades Later...
"When I was 16, someone I was friends with bought me a baby turtle for my birthday. Now it's 23 years later and I don't remember the name of the person who did it, but I do know that I've hauled the turtle and his 6ft indoor tank set up and his portable outdoor pond summer residence through six house moves, and paid someone to look after him for a year when I was living overseas. I love him, but I would never have voluntarily bought a pet that lives for 60 years."
"see the light"
"When I was 16, I was was out to very few people, one of them a person I considered a best friend. One day, she invited me to ride horses at her boyfriend's farm, so we ditched class and went. When we got there, his KKK grand wizard grandfather sat me down and proceeded to tell me the Lord told him that I'm gay and he was going to bring me back to God. I spent a few hours confessing my sins to Jesus and pretending to "see the light," then never talked to her again."
- efluxr
Meow me Not
Michelle Pfeiffer Batman GIFGiphy"Bought me a cat for my birthday. Here is a present you have to spend money on and take care of for a decade. Don't do this. Please."
Never just give pets to people. Or plants. Please never give me a plant, I'll forget it's there. And I'll buy my own pets please. That's a presumptuous thought.
Gone
Big Cat Bad Idea GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Ripped a family member out of my life because they thought it was what was best for me. Really it was because it was what made their life more comfortable."
3 months in 2016...
"For a period of 3 months in 2016 I worked a 40+ hour week graveyard shift job while living at home, which my parents offered to let me do in order to save money. My mom would regularly break into my room regardless if I'd caught any sleep or not and yell at me to help her with tasks around the house because she "wasn't doing me any favors by allowing me to be lazy" and because "I was young and could handle it." I wound up getting the flu and not recovering for 3 weeks because I was so unhealthy from all the sleep deprivation. Thinking about her still makes me angry this many years later."
People Who Work In Remote Places Share Creepiest Things They've Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
AFTER
"My ex-roommate bought the guy I was "dating" online a bus ticket after he told me he had a warrant out for his arrest and needed someplace to go. Unbeknownst to me, she had found his contact information, had also been chatting with him, and decided he could stay with us, but didn't tell me until AFTER he was on the bus. And then she made me pay her back for the bus ticket."
Sax it Up!
"As a middle school sax player in the school band about to go on our very first band trip to perform concerts for other schools in the next province, I was incredibly excited. My mum decided to surprise me the day before we left on the trip, so she put a towel on the bottom of the bathtub, laid my sax on it, and filled the tub with water. She left it to soak, and then polished it to gleaming perfection."
"She was SO PROUD when I got home from school to show me this shiny, sparkling, beautifully clean saxophone. That no longer worked. Every single pad had to be replaced. Which couldn't be done where we lived, so it had to be sent out. I had to borrow the school's 1970s era sax which was beat to sh*t and looked as bad as it sounded. My mum felt so bad. And had to spend a bunch of money fixing my sax."
I Quit!
Giphy"Persuaded me to go work with them at a very, very toxic company. The only thing I was not micromanaged on was my bathroom breaks."
Dear God!
"My mom insisted we paint the baby's nursery. I thought it was fine, but nope, we have to go pick out paint, because baby girl can't have a blue room. She paints half the room, gets paint all over my wood trim (Dear God - it stripped the finish to take it off) then didn't even finish the room. I had to finish painting it myself, the baby was 5 weeks old."
Hiding Evil
"My grandparents kidnapping me and raising me in a cult (that they started) completely cut off from the "evil and worldly" outside world."
Don't Push
"Push me in the deep end of the pool. My dad & uncle learnt to swim by being pushed into the deep end of a pool. So they thought that this would work with me. nope... Here I stand, a 31 Year old male who's scared of water. I can't take baths (I shower) can't go into gyms which have pools, never been near to the sea/ocean. And have anxiety crossing bridges over large bodies of water."
HELP
Nbc No GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"My mom threw away my anti-depressants because she doesn't believe in mental health issues."
I'm Shy
"My friend/roommate and his girlfriend were kind enough to throw me a surprise party. I don't really celebrate my birthday and I REALLY don't like being the center of attention. I appreciate the intention and the effort they put in to it, but it's a little frustrating to have stated that I don't want to celebrate and have someone do it anyway."
truly horrendous...
"My friend's wife has spent half the time I've known her trying to set me up with her friends because she thinks I'm a catch lmao, out of respect and because she's trying to do something nice I've gone out with most of the people she's fixed me up with but it doesn't go anywhere and she obviously doesn't stop being friends with them so at like bday parties for their kids or celebrations for things I'll show up and have to see these girls I've gone out with all in one place and you know they've all talked, truly horrendous."
An Ill Thought
"Gave me food poisoning. Chicken wasn't cooked thoroughly. But it was covered in sauce and cheese, so I had no idea. I ate about 2/3rds of my dinner, then was immediately sick. Like the worst sickness I ever experienced. It was freaking painful."
In his memory...
"Serious here. My 17 year old son was a geek. He was the captain of his high school robotics team. He passed away. We asked that in his memory, people donate to his robotics team as that is what he loved most in life. My mother chose to spend $3000 rebuilding her backyard flower garden in memory of him. That one irked me a little."
Reset
Calculating Oh No GIF by MOODMANGiphy'Clean' my graphical calculator after borrowing it to do one calculation. By deleting every program I've written on it by doing a hard reset."
Bad Christmas...
"Knowing I couldn't have dogs at my house, nor financially support myself let alone a dog, my now ex boyfriend got me a 4 week old puppy for Christmas in 2019. Needless to say it got re-homed a little less than a year later after spending most it's time in an outdoor run kennel at my grandma's. I know he meant well and thought I'd love it. But please for the love of God don't get people pets as presents. If they want a pet they will get one themselves."
Bad Santa
"This one is not "bad" per se but the result was a mini disaster. We hosted a secret Santa among a small group of friends one year and one of the girls decided to send me a copy of Queer Eye guidebook or something. Turns out my mom got hold the package first and she opened it. I was not out to any family at that point."
Here is a thought... mind your business. That can be the best intention with best outcome. Help when it's really called for. Just a thought.
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