We all have different pain tolerances. One individual's joy is another's joint and back pain. Depends on the threshold, and what we're willing to accept and put up with. Once that level is hit, it becomes a hell you can't escape from.
And the worst part? That pain might come and go, a wave ebbing against you, pushing you.
Some solace you can take is you're not alone in feeling pain.
*The following article contains discussion of sexual assault.
Reddit user, Jeremykyb, wanted to know when it's just the absolute pits when they asked:
"what is the worst feeling?"
It feels bad, but to reach the end, we have to start.
It Only Goes Downhill From Here
"My first thought was wet socks, but the answers here are way worse."
triton2toro
Unable To Find That Connection
"Trying hard to make friends but failing , honestly nothing worse than talking to yourself in a group of people ."
living_sunshine
"this hit me harder than most other things here, I've spent my entire life just trying to find someone or some people to hang out with but I'm just the awkward outcast all the time. I have no one to be with physically."
Fluffyturtle225
When It's Actually 0/100
"I know relationships are never 50/50 but loving someone more than they love you after spending years with them. Finding out from your friends that your significant other is sleeping around hurts bad when its 100% unexpected. The heart sinks straight down to your feet and the mind goes down a rabbit hole of thoughts and emotions on why you weren't good enough."
whosyodaddy328
Knowing It's Going To End
"For me personally, it was coming to the conclusion that this really great friend I had throughout high school was slipping away from me. It wasn’t as if they’d changed or anything, they were still that great person I knew. It was just that we went from talking to each other all the time to waving, and now to just not really talking anymore. I know that as I’m finishing up my last year and as I move on with life, most of the people I’ve met through high school will be a distant memory, but right now it’s just the worst feeling when you know a friendship that you really valued and tried to make work, in the end, just didn’t."
billy20115
Being The Only One Not In Love
"The worst feeling that I have ever felt happened in 6th grade. My whole lunch table ( except for me ) was dating somebody and had the whole school liking them. I was just sitting at the corner of the lunch table, eating my food watching them talk to their gfs and everyone else who liked them meanwhile they would brag to me about it every time they left."
"That’s not the worst feeling tho. The worst part is how they would degrade me and make me feel like I’m not a human being so much even after making fun of me for not having a gf. They would always call me fat and make fun of me for being black which I can’t control, and then when I lashed out at them they always said I had anger issues. I always struggled with finding my place in the community considering I’m one of the only black kids in a white dominated school and area, and they just made me feel like an outcast. I still have no gf and I still get made fun of for something I cannot control. That is the worst feeling to me."
IlyVox
Hiding Who You Really Are
"Being forced to act different around other people cause you know they would react negatively to who you are(as an example, my parents are extreme right wingers who are very racist and homophobic so I just have to act like I’m the same)
"Despacitoian
Is the pain within you? Or is the pain happening to someone else and you're unable to do anything to stop it?
Is that pain equal?
Not Trying To Be A Creep, But It's Too late
"Making a girl uncomfortable by accident."
New-Inspector7070
Good-Bye To Family
"A few years ago I euthanized an elderly woman’s elderly cat. She’d lost her only daughter to cancer and her husband the month before."
"I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She looked down at her cat in her arms, started to cry, and between sobs said “I just want my family back.”"
"If you find something worse than sitting there powerless as an old woman’s heart breaks over the sudden and permanent loss of all of her loved ones, you have my profound sympathy. Because that was awful."
TankVet
Can't Quite Kick The Habit
"Watching someone you care about mess up their life. All you can do is watch"
just-existing-here
"I tried so hard to help my younger brother with his alcoholism and I couldn’t. It was a feeling of dread, desperation, hope (he was good at saying the right thing). It’s hard to watch."
longwalktoday
When It's Your Job And You Still Feel Like You're Not Doing Enough
"People crying to you for crisis help and being unable to help them."
"I work in a place where I get 60-100 calls a day of people in crisis (mostly homelessness) desperate for someone to help or point them in the direction of help. I often get blamed for their problems despite my job just being to answer the phones and having nothing to do with their matters whatsoever. I legally cannot assist with their problem but I can listen."
"I used to be homeless so I actually understand what it’s like to be in their position."
"I hope one day I can be in a position where I can make a difference in these people’s lives, and hopefully, save them"
OkConsideration1111
How Would You Turn It Around?
"Losing hope. Specifically the hope that things will get better."
brushpickerjoe
"The feeling of a full blown depression. When all the hope and happiness you used to feel suddenly disappear and every thought about your future turns into despair. The feeling that it will never end and that you will never feel happiness again. There is no way out and nothing will ever change for the better again."
"But after an infinitely long time, there eventually comes a moment where your mind becomes clear and for the first time in forever, you remember why live is worth living. That moment was the happiest of my life."
Latron23
Some People Don't Deserve To Have Kids
"How about a parent telling you they don't love you?"
"When I was 12 my father got another woman pregnant, so decided to divorce my mother for other woman. On his last day coming by the house ever, he came into my room to say goodbye and as he was leaving he told me, in pretty much these exact words, "I want you to know that I don't love you anymore and I am going to start a new family now. You probably won't ever see me again." He then walked out of my room. I ran out of my room screaming and crying holding on to my dad's leg begging him not to leave as he dragged me down the hall, my mother screaming/crying, to have him basically shake me off, curse, and bolt out the door. Next time I saw him I was 17."
"It was a pretty messed up thing and it REALLY hurt me as a kid."
GeneticsGuy
Doing What You Can To Protect Your Loved Ones
"Knowing that I can't take the pain away from my daughter from being betrayed and sexually abused at age 4. Six years to get justice and he's out in less than a year. All I can do is keep her safe, make sure she knows speaking up was right and that it wasn't her fault, and to make sure she knows her parents love her."
Signal_Host307
Nothing Can Compare
"The grief from the death of a loved. Lost the love of my life after her 5 year battle with Ovarian cancer. We were happily married 31 years. It was like someone had cut open my chest and ripped my heart out."
renewed_artist
"Semi-related: seeing the decline of a loved one. In my case, it would be my parents."
"I can't speak for anyone else but for me this is the single most depressing thing in life."
"Your parents are never old until they suddenly are. They fall down and get injured. They don't have the energy to go up the stairs in their own home. They can't cook your favorite dish on your birthday."
"Suddenly it hits you; they're elderly and you've been treating them like they're still the dark-haired workhorses from your childhood. You finally take a moment to think back and you see the signs of their deteriorating health. A stumble here. A fainting spell there. A cut or bruise that takes forever to heal. But it was no big deal because your parents have always been strong. They've never slowed down for anything."
"You look across the table at the suddenly frail woman sitting in front of you, squinting at her crossword puzzle and realize that you don't know how much more time you'll have together. It's then that you truly gain an appreciation for all your parents have done for you and what they will continue to do for you."
"You resolve to return the favor in what little time remains, not knowing that just by breathing you'd paid that debt long ago."
Denster1
A Feeling Without Compare
"Watching your own child die in your arms."
Bout3Fidy
"This is unfortunately the correct answer. I hope, and I mean this in the nicest way, that all the parents out there die before their children. Nobody should have to bury their child."
BingusBeerus
"There is literally a separate classification of grief that is mainly experienced by parents who watched their own children die, it’s classified as “complex grief.” I watched my 10 year old sister pass from a brainstem tumor with each parent holding a hand. It is still the most unbearable grief I’ve ever known, which makes the realization that my grief will never hold a candle to my parents’ almost impossible to wrap my head around."
"If you watched one of your children pass before your eyes, know that you have countless people’s condolences and respect in equal measure."
Ellislsland
Maybe now is the time to send that text or return that call? Could be worth it.
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.
Louis Tomlinson Helps An 83-Year-Old Man Check Items Off His Bucket List In Emotional New Music Video
Louis Tomlinson released a new music video for a song titled "Two of Us" yesterday, and it has his fans feeling some feels.
In the video, Louis Introduces 83-year-old Richard and the pair go about crossing off some of the items on Richard's bucket list.
Richard lost his wife to Alzheimer's in late 2016. Around the same time, Louis lost his mother to cancer.
Louis said on Twitter that he learned a lot from Richard, who he describes as a:
"fearless man who in light of tragedy still pushes himself to live with as much laughter and happiness as possible."
#LouisAndRichard https://t.co/HYG08HNVbj https://t.co/K4NO734iI8— Louis Tomlinson (@Louis Tomlinson) 1556121833
The video is structured more like a mini documentary, with "Two of Us" playing quietly in the background. The focus is really on Richard's story.
After talking about Richard's life up to now, the pair set off to do some of the more spectacular things on Richard's bucket list.
These included flying a helicopter, driving a race car, getting a tattoo (though he actually ended up adding his art to Louis' ink instead), and riding on a roller-coaster.
Louis was right by his side the whole time, and the pair seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the experiences.
The final event that Louis arranged was possibly the most special of the bunch.
Richard, in addition to other such jobs as taxi driver, an actor, and serving in the RAF, had also been a lounge singer until his wife's condition progressed to the point that she could not be left alone for long periods.
Tomlinson told Richard as they exited the roller-coaster that he had a little gig lined up for that evening and wanted Richard to come.
Little did Richard know that the "gig" was a sold-out arena performance.
Richard took to the stage and performed an excellent rendition of Andrea Bocelli's "Con Te Partirò" to raucous applause from the audience.
At the end of the video, Tomlinson tells Richard how much he enjoyed their time together.
"It's been lovely. I mean, honestly, no bullshit, actually spending real time with you and feeling like we're getting to know each other has been real nice."
You can view the whole music video, and it's amazing story, below:
Louis Tomlinson - Two of Us (Richard's Bucket List Official Video) youtu.be
Twitter was quite emotional after watching the video.
Louis could’ve made a music video about himself and the terrible tragedies he has experienced but instead he used t… https://t.co/sSfZO5yHYt— Tom Jay Williams (@Tom Jay Williams) 1556136081
@leggimidentro__ just the idea that he is being there for someone is enough for me..😞😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭— *Bl4kk4t (@*Bl4kk4t) 1556131725
when louis grabbed richard’s hand on the rollercoaster 🥺🥺🥺 #LouisAndRichard https://t.co/eMMVYoSXF7— kim (@kim) 1556124614
Many praised Louis and Richard for supporting each other.
@leggimidentro__ @Louis_Tomlinson you are the epitome of a good human. 🕉️ #louisandrichard— JulieTyre🌎 (@JulieTyre🌎) 1556134069
i honestly don’t know what i expected but wow. what a beautiful video. two men who are the definition of strength,… https://t.co/n7LBxu2bn6— steph (@steph) 1556122556
Others were taking Louis and Richard's friendship as an example.
@BluebellWoodCH @Louis_Tomlinson There is something very cathartic about dealing with grief by trying to spread joy… https://t.co/9u50UW6EAH— Sans visage (@Sans visage) 1556145040
@Vevo_UK @Louis_Tomlinson I hope this inspires more people to reach out and make a new, old friend! 💙— Nelson Aspen (@Nelson Aspen) 1556134285
Some reminded folks that they can help by donating to Alzheimer's and cancer research.
True friendship can be found in unexpected places,and shared grief can being a deep understanding between people.
Allowing yourself to see others around you, regardless of age, can open up the opportunity get to know some amazing people.
A Poignant Note This Mom Gave Her Daughter's Husband On Their Wedding Day Resonates Even More After Her Death
Are you ready for some feels?
Because you are about to have ALL of them.
Nikki Pennington lost her mother five years ago to brain cancer.
The two were very close, and as such, it was very hard on Nikki.
Her mom had the ability to get Nikki to remain calm even in the face of severe anxiety. When she died, Nikki feared that would be lost.
It turns out, however, that Nikki's mom had passed on her wisdom to Nikki's husband in the form of a note.
The day my Mom died I called my husband. I said, 'My person is gone. The one that knew me and loved me with all my flaws. The one, the only one who could calm my fears, she's gone.'
Then he began to tell me a story about my Mom. A story about her that I never knew before because she didn't want me to know. You see on our wedding day; my Mom gave my husband a note. A note that was just for the two of them. A note with the title that said, 'How to be Nikki's person.'
It was a step by step guide on what she would say and do for me when my anxiety was taking over.
Step 1: Just listen
Step 2: Listen a little more
Step 3: Don't try and solve the problem
Step 4: Tell her you understand
Step 5: Keep listening until she's sorted it out on her own. She will, she always does. She doesn't know it yet, but she's had it figured out on her own all along.
Nikki's husband took on the responsibility ten-fold.
Nikki still misses her mom every day:
"My Mom gave up being my person not because she wanted to but because she wanted my husband to know how to be when she was no longer here," Pennington ended.
"She gave up being my person so that she could make sure I would always have one, no matter what."
Pennington runs her own blog called Grief To Hope. Pennington identifies herself as a "motherless daughter" and most of her posts revolve around her relationship to grief.
The loss of a parent actually biologically and psychologically changes a person.
"In the best case scenario, the death of a parent is anticipated and there is time for families to prepare for the loss, say their goodbyes, and surround themselves with support," psychiatrist Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi told Fatherly.
"In cases where a death is unexpected, such as with an acute illness or traumatic accident, adult children may remain in the denial and anger phases of the loss for extended periods of time…[leading to] diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder or even PTSD, if trauma is involved."
On grief, Pennington blogged:
"The truth is, there is no wrong way to grieve and there is no right way either. If there was then there wouldn't be a whole world full of people missing someone because we would all have it figured out and we don't. We are just all out there grieving and missing someone and trying to keep their memory alive the best we can."
"Well Mom, you will still forever be my person."
Do you have the feels? We sure do!
Family Creates Bucket List For Their Dog After He's Diagnosed With Terminal Cancer 😭
Losing a pet can be devastating. Over their short lives they become family members and provide comfort in difficult times. In exchange, we try to give them good lives. Vermont couple Cynthia and Robert Peterson decided to do something special for their six-year-old dog Finn.
Stitch shared with us the bittersweet way a family is saying goodbye to their beloved pet.
Today we are sharing a story of man's best friend with a message of living your best life. https://t.co/5Sv6FI2chw— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928692.0
This is Finn. He is extremely playful and loves to play fetch. His energy hides the fact that his days are numbered. https://t.co/2b9J0rxNhk— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928692.0
They explained that Finn recently got a cancer diagnosis.
Finn was diagnosed with cancer back in May, but his family is doing something very special to make his final days a… https://t.co/X2BGkTFAir— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928692.0
Cynthia told the BBC:
"We've turned a devastating experience into an empowering one. We've made friends with people globally whose dogs also have cancer."
She also explained:
"He helped me through the grief when my dad died and now he's dying of cancer, too. It's a hard blow but really powerful to look back at how he got me through those times and now I'm going to help him."
Finn has not responded to chemotherapy and is estimated to only have six to eight weeks left to live. Cynthia is planning to write a children's book in his memory. They've also been processing their grief by interacting with other pet owners who've lost their beloved animals to cancer using the hashtag #CanineCancerWarrior.
We got a glimpse into the Peterson's life with Finn.
Their main mission is to keep him comfortable and happy! https://t.co/9aBMUYtMaK— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928693.0
They even shared some of the things on the bucket list.
Some of his activities included riding in a hot air ballon and chowing down on a steak dinner. https://t.co/TJnq5ban7e— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928693.0
And his humans explained the gifts Finn gave them.
A powerful message that Finn will leave behind 💛 https://t.co/iiLXnfHa8h— Very Local (@Very Local) 1540928694.0
People were touched.
@KristinaLuca 😭😭😭😭 I just gave my dog the biggest hug/kiss and he looked at me like... stop mom, you’re embarrassing me.— Sash (@Sash) 1540932971.0
@De_Sasha LOVE HIM WITH ALL YOU HAVE— Kristina Koppeser 🐾 (@Kristina Koppeser 🐾) 1540933406.0
@BBCWorld What a good doggo (and good people). 💙🐶— JB (@JB) 1539417018.0
Many related.
@BBCWorld @BBCNews I’m do sorry to hear ur dog has cancer, my Labrador has just come back today as he has a lump on… https://t.co/p170nwluvI— John (@John) 1539459493.0
@BBCWorld No, I can’t cope with this story. Breaking my heart. I lost my Goldie to a brain tumour when he was only… https://t.co/Q7VW60PfMU— Remaining Grumpy 💙🇪🇺🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 🌹YNWA (@Remaining Grumpy 💙🇪🇺🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 🌹YNWA) 1539525971.0
Losing a pet is so hard. We wish the family and Finn our best in his final days.