Ok, before I get into this article, I have to reference that old Twilight Zone episode where Burgess Meredith is the last man on Earth. No one would let him read, so now he's super stoked because he has “time enough at last" to read every single book. But then....his glasses break.
“It's not fair. There was time now."
Super depressing! Sadly, for four-eyed nerds like myself, everything we do relies on whether or not we have our glasses. Personally, I can't stand contacts, so if I don't have glasses on my face every waking hour, I'm screwed.
Here are a few more people who experience what myself and Burgess Meredith go through on a daily basis.
I think the biggest glasses breakers are children by far. But they break sh*t all the time, so that’s not surprising.
Bye bye glasses.
Don't laugh, but.
Okay, you're going to laugh, and almost 20 years later I can handle it, but I couldn't have handled it for the first year or two.
At a birthday party in middle school I was trying to be festive so I tied balloons to my glasses and they floated away and were gone forever.
I was at the beach and buried my glasses so that I could find them later as hidden treasure. Turns out using palm trees as landmarks is a bad idea, especially if you can't see.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.justin long dodgeball GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
I was in like 5th grade. We were playing dodgeball. I took a shot in the face that sent my glasses flying and we had to pause the game so I could get one of the lenses popped back into the frame. Play resumes. Like two minutes later, boimpf, face shot again from the same kid, who probably needed glasses himself, now that I think about it.
Our gym teacher stopped the whole game and made us go inside and sit down, and the whole class was like "good job, Acrollo," and I'm there with a bloody nose and busted glasses and I'm like "how is it my fault some other dumdum can't get his throws below chest level?"
Nowadays I still wear glasses, and I have two boys under 3, so my glasses are constantly smudged because my kids are adventurous and kinda handsy-in-the-facey when you're down on their level. Seriously considering Lasik at this point.
I was a dumb middle schooler. I'd not been wearing glasses for long, probably only 2 years at that point. I had these super neat glasses that were supposedly "kid-resistant" and they had flexible metal so that you could bend them at the nosepiece and they wouldn't break.
I started showing them off, twisting the glasses around and locking them into themselves, like twisting them as far as they could go. After a certain amount of time that I don't remember because this was about 20 years ago, they'd finally had enough and snapped, right in the middle of the nosepiece.
It was not a fun time when I got home from school that day. My mom was livid.
It isn’t always our fault though. Sometimes we just have really crappy friends/family members/partners.
I hope you replaced the friend too.
I watched them shatter on concrete because of friend of mine wanted to see how bad my eyes were. Instead of accepting NO as a logical response, she yanked them off my face, they went flying, and ended up in a thousand pieces. I’m near sighted and need my glasses to drive. Needless to say, I picked up my car a few days after I got replacements.
At least the fish can see now.Water Walking GIF by Cezar IliescuGiphy
I was out on a boat fishing with my ex Father-in-Law when he flipped his pole to cast out his line and the hook caught my glasses and flipped them 20 feet from the boat into 150 feet of water. The worst part was watching them sink to the bottom of the lake on the damn fish finder screen!
So, this happened to a friend of mine. She wears glasses and had only one pair as she'd broken a pair a week prior to this incident (this will become important later).
So she had brought a guy home and he took her glasses off and put them on the bed just as things were getting hot and heavy. As they laid down, forgetting the glasses were on the bed, they crushed her glasses and got plastic digging into them.
She had no glasses and had to get an emergency prescription for the world's ugliest glasses which basically meant instead of a walk of shame, she wore the glasses of shame.
But most of the time, it just ends up being a freak accident.
I'm pagan and so I do ceremonies pretty often with candles. During one particular ceremony I took off my glasses and placed them next to the candle to pray not even thinking about it. Once I was done with my prayer (thankfully a short one) I looked on my alter to see my new glasses were on fire and melting plastic all over. It was the part that wrapped around my ear so I could still wear them until I got a new pair next year.
Super glue is no joke.Stay On 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLCGiphy
I used Super Glue to do an on-the-fly repair of a crack in the frame above the lens. I didn't wait long enough before putting my glasses back on because I was already late for an important client meeting. The Super Glue bonded my glasses to my eyebrow. In the process of remedying this humiliating fiasco, I ended up yanking out half my eyebrow and re-breaking the very spendy frame into multiple, irreparable pieces. The client was amused.
This is a true nightmare.
Not my story (though I was there and do wear glasses):
I went on a chartered tour of Japan, and on the flight from Los Angeles to Narita, the guy in the aisle seat decided to take a nap. For whatever reason, he decided the safest place for his glasses was in one of his shoes, tucked safely under the seat in front of him.
Not so safe, as it turns out, because mild turbulence hit, his shoe went into the aisle, and the beverage cart rolled over it. After we landed, most of us went to the hotel but the tour guide had to take him to whatever Japan's version of Lenscrafters is to get a new pair at (he told us over breakfast the next day) astronomical cost.
I have NEVER gone on a trip without a spare pair of glasses since. I just keep them in my suitcase so I can never forget them.
Had them blown off my face by one of those "splash mountain" type rides. But here's the kicker: I wasn't on the ride!
My dad took me and a buddy of mine to a amusement park that was about an hour and a half away. We're there for about 30 minutes before we see the water ride. The was a small bridge that crossed over the ride at the point where it hits the bottom and throws water all over the place. My buddy and me wanted to stand on the bridge and get doused by the water. Ride hits the water and splashes up and soaks us. We start to walk off the bridge, and I realize everything is blurry. The force from the water hitting us has knocked my glasses off! Try searching for half an hour, but can't find them. Had to leave, because I was almost blind (I'm really nearsighted).
I think we got to ride one ride, lost my glasses, then had to leave.
Sometimes it’s just pure, unadulterated violence that causes our glasses to shatter.
That’s a resourceful friend.Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphy
Lord, this is for me. Once I was playing with some friends a game called "slo-mo fight". You guessed it, we were pretending to be punching each other but all in slow motion, which was hilarious. My friend pretended to punch me, I turned my head a lil too fast and my glasses fell on the floor.
Since I was blind at that moment, I fumbled around and stepped on them. Broke both branches, and couldn't fix them, so my friend glued a piece of ribbon on each side and for a weekend or something I looked like f*cking cat noir.
That’s a solid pair of glasses.
I was running late getting to school one day, and fell down a flight of stairs. I had a good pair of glasses, so they didn't break, but I did bend one arm to the point that I couldn't wear them. Luckily, I was able to get them bent back into place that day. I had those glasses until my prescription changed a few years ago.
Bent over mowing the lawn to grab a stick. Glasses were in my shirt pocket because I had my prescription sunglasses on instead.
Glasses fell out. Didn't notice until I was done. Bits of glasses all around.
Nice save.homer simpson episode 13 GIFGiphy
I was going over the drop on a rollercoaster and they fell off.
Then I somehow caught them and was so focused on holding on that I forgot to be scared of the ride.
Several years later, the same pair broke.... the lens broke out because I laughed at a joke.
Not a slam dunk.
The glasses I had around 4th grade were marketed as flexible and I told my friend if she bent them they wouldn't break so she tried it and they immediately snapped right in the middle of the bridge.
Also my first time trying basketball in 3rd grade someone missed a layup and when the ball came down it landed right on my eye and the lense popped out.
Personally, there's a reason why I now own four pairs of glasses. Lost my only pair one time and forced to wear dry contacts all day can do that to you. Always have backups!
And if you're the guy from Twilight Zone, it wouldn't hurt to have some large-print books around.