"Reddit user Quintowne asked: 'What is the fastest way you've seen someone get fired?'"
How to lose a job in 10 seconds.
Now, that sounds like a fun show to watch.
It is astonishing how fast people can lose their jobs.
Some people really need to learn how to actually exist at a job.
You'd think it'd be simple... but no.
Redditor Quintowne wanted to hear about all of the ways some employees have been let go, so they asked:
"What is the fastest way you've seen someone get fired?"
With many years in food service under my belt, I've had more co-workers than Mars, Incorporated has made M&M's.
So many were gone by the end of shift one.
SecretsCar Police GIF by BabylonBeeGiphy
"New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone the second week."
"My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: 'I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.'"
"Boss says 'Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!'"
"First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denied it. I just looked at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man."
He Was Warned
"Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down."
"Oh Gawd, just reading the word voodoo brought out a flash of memories I buried."
Oh Willywet willy martial arts GIFGiphy
"First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Sh*t you not."
I have never understood this wet willy thing.
Who even came up with it?
LoopholesAngry Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register."
On the Spot
"Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot."
"I did customer support at a software company that sold to other businesses, and every one of us had one customer that we hated a hell of a lot more than any other. The guy who sat next to me hated Amway."
"A high school friend's dad offered me a job with his company after I graduated, it was 'Do the interview and then go to work.' The interview consisted of a five-minute spiel about the company and a 45-minute Amway sales pitch with the understanding that if I didn't agree to sell Amway for him, I wouldn't get the job. Dad called me a couple of days later wondering to know why I didn't take the job. I started to work at about the same time the former interviewer stopped working there."
"Half an hour. Working in Arby's, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day."
"Always smart to rob a place after giving them your name and address."
"The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. The guy was fast asleep, under his desk. He was gone before you could say hangover."
"I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans."
"He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up."
Buh-Byejumping episode 11 GIFGiphy
"A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!"
"When I was in middle and high school they hired students with driver's licenses to drive the busses. This was in the 80's."
My school bus drivers were all nuts.
I always thanked GOD when I got home in one piece.
Reddit user Just-Stay-386 asked: 'What’s an excuse to get out of work that no one can get mad at?'
Nothing will get you in more hot water with your boss than coming up with a lame excuse as to why you didn't show up for work.
Especially if that excuse doesn't even turn out to be true.
Of course, life can be unpredictable, and sometimes what you're telling your boss might very well be nothing but the truth.
You just might need some evidence to back it up.
However, there are some excuses that might be one hundred percent foolproof for getting out of work without any resistance from your boss or colleagues.
No matter who you are, or who you work for.
"What’s an excuse to get out of work that no one can get mad at?"
Any Excuse Is Better Than None
"As a manager as long as you let me know that you aren’t going to be able to work then we’re good."
"If you just don’t show up that’s a different story."- LF_reditIf You Say So Ok GIF by The GrinchGiphy
Say It, Don't Spray It...
"I got sprayed by a skunk."
"I tried to go to work after showering with Dawn dish soap but my boss told me to go home."
"So I’d say getting sprayed by a skunk."- Sunshine95454
Ultimately, Not A Pleasant Experience For Anyone...
"I worked construction, and two separate instances on two different crews, someone said they sh*t their pants."
"Nobody questioned it and they left."
"I do believe they did sh*t their pants tho so you have to commit."- allornothing26
"'I sh*t my pants'."
"Absolutely, 100%, understand."
"See you tomorrow."- Abadathayear january GIFGiphy
Apparently Anything Regarding The Rear End...
“'Butthole is bleeding I can’t make it in'.”
"Not a single person will want to ask questions."
"You’re welcome."- Psychologystudent28
Oddly Impressive In This Day And Age... (Assuming It's True...)
"I called in to work and said I had scurvy."
"A couple hours later an FTD florist delivered a bonzi lemon tree from my boss."- HawkMisfit
Not So Much The What, But The When...
"The excuse doesn't matter it's the frequency."
'You need to be excused a couple of times a year?"
'No big deal."
'You're out every other week?"
'That's an issue."- Im_probably_nakedNetflix Seriously GIF by Stranger ThingsGiphy
Or Better Yet, To A Hosptial!
"Me: hey I think I need to head home."
"Boss: Why’s that?
"Me: I think I broke my arm."
"I’m standing in front of my bosses desk with my arm turned completely backwards from the elbow down, was in total shock."- ssandhanitizer
Good Thing They Remembered To Call...
"Last time I called into work, it was a quick call."
“'Can’t make it in. Hit my head. Blood everywhere. Ambulance is on the way'.”
"That one worked pretty well."- bioVOLTAGE
Speechless Isn't Always Good...
"Guy at work phoned in to tell our boss he couldn’t make it in because he didn’t have no clean socks."
"Boss was speechless."- Tankclark1Nbc GIF by The VoiceGiphy
If Only For Plumbing Issues...
"I used to have a sh*tty office job."
"I once had severe diarrhea and my boss tried to get me to work from the bathroom, at the office."- adventurousorca
In a Post Pandemic World...
"You don’t need more detail than that."- too_sexy_for_reddit
"Where I'm at Covid is still a mandatory out until a negative test."-azorianmilkTest Virus GIF by Magician EdzusGiphy
You Can't Make This Stuff Up...
"Worked on a construction crew at one time with this one colorful character that just couldn't get out of bed and to work on time, but could do the work of two when he was on the job."
"He always had the most entertaining excuses for missing work that no one could be mad at him."
"'Ran over a rabbit and had to return home to put it in the freezer'." "
"'Scored some weed that was so good I forgot what day it was'."
"And the coup de grace...'Woke up with my face in my girlfriend's armpit and was afraid to open my eyes'."- eron6000ad
"Something wrong with your kid."
"I've honestly thought about making up a kid just so I have an airtight excuse to cut out as often as my parent coworkers do."- Yak-F**ker-5000
In truth, pretty much any excuse could probably work
What's more important, is an air-tight alibi...
Humans are annoying.
Our attention spans are limited, our attitudes really need adjusting, and we make dating torture on ourselves.
So losing interest in a person should be more of a given than a surprise.
But it is fascinating to learn about what can change a person's mind about another so quickly.
Redditor lixxie_lx wanted to hear about all the big and minuscule things that have us running for the hills, so they asked:
"What instantly makes you lose interest in a person?"
This is a major issue for me.
I lose interest at the speed of light.
Not Cuterude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy
"Superiority complex. It’s fine to be confident, but if you need to put others down to feel that way you’re just insecure and it’s not cute."
"The moment I can tell that they aren’t trying. Either they aren’t all that interested in me or they expect me to do all of the 'work' so to speak. Either reason is a good enough one to step away."
"I’m going through this as well. 5 year relationship, no kids thankfully and not married. We’ve had to do long distance the last few months and she’s essentially radio silent. Never calls and only texts back if I chase her."
"We trust each other implicitly and even share location but the lack of interest in even checking in with me or being affectionate unless I initiate it has me feeling so gaslit. I fear it’s something as simple as growing apart but neither person wanting to end it."
"When I tell them I don't like something, or something makes me uncomfortable and they continue to do it intentionally as if it's flirting."
"Hardest breakup I ever had was because of a person's inability to stop f**king with me... it's not funny when someone says that it bothers them and you continue to do it."
"Everything else was really good it gave me huge self doubt that I was just being a whimp and she had a point that it was just teasing. Even got to the point that I thought that's just the way this give and take is gonna go in this relationship. Glad I decided to get out... I would have been miserable."
"Constantly talking sh*t about others and trying to boost their own ego."
"Yup, I thought I met a good person at first, but then she started talking sh*t about everyone, not to mention if I got something I wanted, instead of being happy for me, she becomes extremely jealous."
"The last straw was when she left me in the middle of the street and left without me for university even though she told me she was picking me up. Sadly, she's still friends with my sister, and she kinda has to be because they share so many classes, but I'm still trying to find a way to cut off all contact, which is harder than I thought would be."
I See YouMarried At First Sight No GIF by LifetimeGiphy
"Few things are 'instant' dealbreakers, but blatant displays of rudeness or condescension toward strangers when under stress is a big red flag. Like, I get that you are frustrated, but there is no need to be a d*ck."
Why is kindness so arduous for some people?
Kindness Firsthot dog waiter GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy
"If they mistreat others, especially those who are in the service industries."
Stay in the moment...
"When they can't stop checking their mobile phones every few seconds while we are talking. I went out with a woman who would do that. After the 4th date I stopped going out with her and dated another woman. The former was surprised to know that."
"I said 'But girl, you're always on the phone while I talk to you, it makes me feel ignored you know' and she was angry/sad. But I'm not exaggerating when I say she was staring on that screen and sending voice messages and all that to other friends of her while we were dating."
"Lack of curiosity/intellectual laziness. lack of empathy, excessively judgemental attitude, narcissism, treating others as subhuman, spewing hatred, excessive victim behavior, and/or unnecessary combativeness. Maybe I'm just picky."
"Assuming that if they don't know it it isn't worth knowing/can't be interesting. Also adults - well into adulthood, whose excuse for not knowing something is that they weren't taught about it at school. If they taught you to read you can keep learning on your own, you know."
"It definitely (for me i’m talking friendships) depends on a couple things. how they respond to emotional situations (example is are they caring/comforting or being dismissive and not really trying to put anything into it?)... how they respond to boundaries, if they’re mean or judgmental of others, like if we were talking and walking and they randomly look at another person walking and insult them, that’s DEFINITELY a hard no."
TropesWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"The 'hard to get' trope. like its one thing if there actually isn't mutual interest but when there is and someone makes you feel like you're working for their time and consideration, forget it."
"Talking about money. Pitching me business ideas. Speaking ill of people they view as lesser. Always comparing things they associate with prestige, and never speaking about anything of real substance."
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Let us know in the comments below.
Much as we may try to avoid them, it's hard not to find ourselves in situations we would rather not be in.
In some cases, we have no other choice but to persevere and let the moment pass, however uncomfortable or irritating the situation is.
Other times, we know that the only thing to do is leave, right then and there, without looking back.
Even if it means leaving mid-conversation with someone, we know in our gut that there is truly nothing to do but leave immediately.
As our health and safety could be at risk.
"What was your biggest ‘we need to leave... Now!’ moment?"
"Was 15/16 at a house party with my good friend, another girl."
"There were some gatecrashers who turned up, which weren’t unusual at London house parties, but these guys were older, and there was just a vibe."
"I looked at my friend and said to her 'I’m gonna call my mum and dad to come get me do you want a lift?'"
"My parents were always amazing and said to me that if I was at a party or out and for ANY reason didn’t want to be where I was I could call them and they would come and get me."
"My parents turned up, coats on over pyjamas and took us both home."
"Apparently half an hour after we left, someone was stabbed and lots of stuff was stolen and people beat up and held up at knifepoint."
"I had such a feel in the air that I’ve hardly felt before or since and KNEW we needed to not be there."- AliceLovesBooks
Came Out Of Nowhere
"I used to drive for Lyft. April 2018, I picked up a young couple from a bar at about 1:30 am."
"They were fairly chill and I figured it would be my last ride of the night."
"The dude asked me to stop at a corner store on the way to their destination so that he could get cigarettes."
"I didn’t see any harm in waiting so I stopped, and had a nice chat with the young woman while he was in the store."
"He ended up being about 5 minutes since everyone was trying to get their pre-2 am beer."
"When he came out, he asked me to take him to a location that was in the opposite direction of their destination, but was only about a mile away."
"He said he wanted to meet some friends real quick and grab some beer."
"Since I figured it would be my last ride of the night, I said ‘f**k it, why not’ and drive him over there."
"Now, I know the town we live in fairly well, but the direction that we were coming from was not a way I was used to going when I would go to this location."
"So when I turned onto the destination street, I missed the turn into the complex parking lot."
"I just came to a complete stop since the roads were empty and asked them if they just wanted me to park on the street or pull into the complex."
"This is when the two of them started arguing, as he suddenly wanted to go in and hang out for a few minutes while she didn’t want to go in at all."
"She just wanted him to do his thing and get out of there so they could go home."
"And then something hit my car."
"The sound is unmistakable to me, so I immediately started to look around to figure out what it was."
"But there were no other cars on the road, so that couldn’t have been it."
"Then I moved to the next thing on my mental checklist."
"If something didn’t hit me, then what did I hit?"
"But that didn’t make any sense either as I’d been in park and couldn’t have hit anything."
"It’s at this point that the young lady’s attitude completely changed."
"She just kinda looked around, and then said ‘Can we just get out of here? It hurts and I want to go home'."
"This was odd to me as she’d been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes at this point and hadn’t said a word about any kind of pain."
"She followed this up with ‘It hurts and I can’t move,’ put her had to her back, and pulled it out covered in blood."
"What. The. F*ck."
"So the guy starts freaking out, thinking that something in my trunk had exploded, but it was empty."
"As he reached over to tend to her I noticed something white sticking out of the seat."
"This hadn’t been there at the beginning of the night, so I asked him what it was."
"He pulled on it; it was a piece of the filler fuzz from my seat."
"It came out of the hole that had been made in the seat."
"Because she’d been shot."
"As soon he grabbed that fuzz we both had the same realization."
"He slammed shut his door and I drove them straight to the hospital, which was only a couple of miles away."
"That realization, and the follow up realization of ‘oh, someone could still shoot you while you’re sitting here’ was one of the most terrifying things I’d ever experienced."- akabuldozer
Lucky They Stayed Up Late...
"About two months ago I’d stayed up past my usual bed time and as soon as I got in bed I smelled something odd and was hearing some inconsistent banging and clattering from downstairs."
"I don’t live in a great neighborhood, so none of this was unusual, but I got out of bed to check anyway and saw flames licking up the side of the building."
"Yelled at my wife to get out of bed and threw on some clothes and we high-tailed it out."
"Our building has a shared wall with the next and that one had an apartment on the ground floor fully engulfed by the time we made it outside, ended up condemning the whole building."
"I was the first one to call 911."
"Have been jerking myself awake in the night pretty consistently since then."- UglierInside
"I was waiting for an Uber on the outskirts of Atlanta with a couple friends around 10pm."
"We were just shooting the sh*t after leaving a nearby restaurant and talking about what bar to go to."
"A disheveled older man walked up a few feet behind one of my friends and struck a weird pose for 2-3 minutes while looking in our direction, and there was no one else around."
"Then he walked off without saying a word."
"He came back a few minutes later and sat down on the sidewalk about 5 feet away from us."
"At this point I'm just wondering if he wants something from us, because there was absolutely no other reason to plop down that close to us on an empty sidewalk."
"Then a small sedan pulls in a nearby parking lot, parking behind some bushes in the spot closest to us and consequently furthest from any of the shops in that lot."
"I only noticed because I happened to be facing that direction, but then saw 6 guys pile out of the sedan and immediately cross the street directly towards us."
"I realized there were not any shops or restaurants still open nearby."
"It suddenly occurred to me that the strange dude might have been sizing us up when he was watching us earlier, and he came back to 'mark' us."
"We were all dressed nice with smartphones out and watches visible, basically the fanciest stuff we had for a night out."
"Right as I started to speak up that we should head back towards other people, our uber pulled up to the curb."
"As we drove away, I watched those 6 guys talking in a circle where we had just been standing, and then they crossed the street again and got back in their car."
"I'll never have a definitive answer, but I'm pretty sure we were 10 seconds away from some unfortunate shenanigans."-Zeethro
"Grocery shopping with my grandma, she’s tired (normal for her) but she’s getting a bit slower and dragging her leg more than usual. At the checkout counter I saw her face was a little droopy and I said we are leaving now and going to ER. They gave her a bottle of water for the car ride which she ended up choking on and vomiting up all the water. Called ahead to ER so they were ready and they took care of her ASAP, she was having a stroke and they were able to help her quick enough so that she didn’t have any long lasting issues."
"Face: Smile and see if one side of the face droops."
"Arms: Raise both arms. Does one arm drop down?"
"Speech: Say a short phrase and check for slurred or strange speech."
"Time: If the answer to any of these is yes, call 911 right away and write down the time when symptoms started."
"New years eve in Moscow. I (dark haired brown man) was drinking with my SO (blonde white woman) in a bar getting friendly with some locals who tried their best to speak English. So friendly that one of them gave us a matryoshka doll that he was going to give to his mother later that night."
"They seemed a little too friendly, and maybe they just were, but at one point I went to order more drinks and the bartender (who had been watching and serving us) gave me a stern look and said, “you should leave... now”.
"I found this a little strange and unexpected so naturally tried to question what he meant, but his face was drop dead serious. He looked at the friendly group, then at my GF, then to me and repeated his words."
"I didn’t really want to take any chances in Russia and wanted to see another bar anyway, so I grabbed my girl, the doll and promptly left."
"I was in college when I had my first solo apartment. This guy across the hall would come over, or invite me over, and we'd hang out a few times. However, I would not call him a friend."
"One night he asks me to loan him some money. In addition to not wanting to loan him money, I don't really have any, so he proceeds to ask for a ride to see his girlfriend because she has some money for him. I agree."
"We arrive at her apartment and a small party is going on. When we walked into the party everyone immediately shuts up and stares at us. He runs off to find his "girlfriend," who I find out is his ex-girlfriend. It is awkward because I'm kind of this guy's friend by association, and I'm getting lots of angry stares. He gets into an argument with her and we are basically thrown out of this place."
"He then asks if I can take him to another part of town. He owes another guy some money and needs to go talk to him. We proceed to an unfamiliar part of town, and he instructs me to park in a fairly isolated spot. He explains that he doesn't want the other guy to see my car...BECAUSE HE MIGHT TAKE IT. He owes this guy money for gambling or drugs or something else bad, and he is way behind on his payments. I left him and spent the rest of my time in that apartment avoiding him."
Not Taking A Chance
"Was in Mexico City with family including two daughters. Grabbed a cab on the street around 10:00 pm to take us back to the hotel. I was somewhat familiar with the area since we had been there four or five days already. Cabbie totally passes the hotel district and starts heading away from the part of town we were in. Streets were getting more and more residential. I demanded that he pull over and we GTFO and walked back to the hotel, probably 3 or 4 miles."
"He was probably just padding the fare, but I was not going to take a chance on being kidnapped so we flew."
"Sknyliv airshow catasrophe"
"I was 5ish at a time, so it's my dad's story more than mine. You can google the details, but long story short, my dad saw the plane jolt in the air, and he realized that something went wrong and started running and yelling at everyone else to run. I was sitting on his shoulders, so he just took off with me. The plane crashed into the crowd killing 77 people, 35 or so children among them. Not us."
"I work as an engineer in a data center cooling plant. We’re responsible for basically everything in the building- mechanical, electrical, hvac, plumbing."
"So the engineer I’m relieving tells me there’s an odd sound coming from the Con Ed vaults- this is where these huge transformers are that step down from 26,000 volts or so to a voltage the building can actually use- we are not allowed in those vaults, they’re locked and only Con Ed has they key."
"So he leaves, and I take a walk by the vaults- I had never actually heard electricity arcing through the air before, but I knew I was hearing it then."
"I called Con Ed’s emergency line and told them to get out there ASAP- a crew of two guys show up, they seem calm and disinterested in the elevator on the way up- “it’s probably just a contact chattering” they said."
"We get off the elevator and start heading down the hall- the sound was WAY louder now, we weren’t even near the vaults and there was no mistaking it. Both guys stopped dead in their tracks and kind of hunkered down. I saw the color drain from them."
"Wasted no time getting back in that elevator. If you’ve never seen video of a large transformer explosion, go check YouTube. These transformers are not like the ones you see up on utility poles, they’re as big as a couple of trucks stacked on top of each other. Anyone on the floor when one of them cooked off would be gone, and we have 8 of them."
Sometimes, the most reliable things we can trust are the hairs on the back of our neck.
The minute they start to stand, it's often a sign that we might very well be in danger.
When this happens, the best thing to do, more often than not, is to get out.
Don't pee in a pool.
Like... who did that so that it had to become a rule?
Who was that dumb?
Rules are rules, and there are many good rules.
But so many rules are just arbitrary because some idiot chose to be... well, an idiot.
RedditorGoogunkwanted to hear about the times we've all been hindered because someone else was a mess. They asked:
"What stupid rule did your work have to make because one idiot ruined it for everyone?"
I've always hated rules implemented because of other's nonsense.
"Not at a workplace but at a summer camp (YMCA). Only children under the age of 9 were allowed on the playground due to the fact that 2 older kids (don’t know how old they were) were caught kissing on the playground."
Yes, creepy dolls...
"Only one personal item in your office. This was a financial institution so customers came into our offices. This was put in place because of one lady who had her office packed with trinkets including a handful of dolls. Yes, creepy dolls. Come and get your auto loan also don't worry we have some dolls here to witness your transaction."
That went nowhere...
"A video game company I worked for provided free snacks and sodas. One Friday HR had just done a shopping run and was bringing in a truck load of junk food. One employee was caught sneaking a case of soda out of the parking lot. He wasn't fired or disciplined, it was just made public why the perk was ended. He quit shortly afterward and attempted to sue for a hostile work environment. That went nowhere."
"No popcorn. I work at a financial company and not once, but twice, someone burned microwave popcorn during end of day processing and caused the building evac. Every once in a while a new person is cooking some up and I just imagine the talking to they're about to get."
"We had this, but with microwave ramen. Someone managed to try to microwave it without putting water in. Twice."
Fun OverIts Over GIFGiphy
"We used to get a free beer after our shifts at a pizza restaurant I worked at, until the manager’s little brother got in a car accident after work (he ran a red light or something). That was fun while it lasted."
I thought rules were designed to make sense.
"Well, I went to the Dr office the other day. At the bathroom there was a sign. It said 'Due to misuse of hand soap, you will have to request soap from front desk.' I'm weirded the f**k out. What the hell are they doing with the soap?! At the doctor's office?? I was just too afraid to ask."
Get a Manager...
"At a restaurant I worked at needed a manager override to make any price adjustments, remove items, or process certain cash transactions. This was done because another service found a way to discount their own meals or something. Anyways, this was a huge problem for everyone because there were only two managers in the whole restaurant, and often only one was on shift at a time."
"So when it would get really busy, which happened almost every night, it was next impossible to get a manager to help you out. Often times they'd scream at you for asking for help, meanwhile your tables are getting pissy because they've been sitting there for 15 minutes waiting for me to cash them out, and I can't do anything about it."
"So between my managers yelling at me and getting stiffed, the job because insanely stressful. I quickly put in my two weeks and got the f**k out."
"We used to be able to pop in an ear bud at work with the offset being that we couldn't spend more than a few seconds here or there to switch podcasts or something. Naturally, some people took a mile and spent minutes on their phones. Since everyone was afraid of confronting these people, phones and earbuds were banned in work spaces altogether."
"If you derail a train you have to get drug tested. In my time at that company members of my team caused 3 derailments. After the second one, the employee's official statement was 'oops, no further comment.' It was operator error and the guy owned up to it."
"After the third one, the guy driving hops out and screams 'OOPSIE.' He was being a real prick about the problem he just caused. So we ended up rewriting the drug testing policy to drug test the guy, and sure enough he failed. So then he was gone."
Damn BobBill Murray Movie GIFGiphy
"Former boss here. My total pet peeve was company wide memos about 'behavioral' problems that were really about a single employee. Not on my watch! Supervisor has a problem with “Bob”? F**king talk to Bob. That draft memo is not going out. I feel your pain y’all."
Rules are made to be broken. Especially stupid ones.
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